It actually is quite plausible, and yet, I agree that it is a refreshingly good idea to get a dark Harry who doesn't become a Death Eater. I did enjoy quite much Traitorous by Flamata, where the boy joined Voldemort but remained planning on executing a coup, and replacing Voldemort. It's a shame that it looks more and more like an abandoned project.

On the topic: the scene between Harry, his parents and Dumbledore was executed perfectly. You were right that only Dumbledore's support might help in convincing the Potters on letting their son attending "teh Dark school". I was actually wondering how would you pull this one right, so it would be actually plausible to us that James Potter would agree to let his son attend school with a Death Eater for a Headmaster.

Overall, really enjoyable (half)update and looking forward to how will you handle the Durmstrang arc.

As for that, I still believe that you could still work it out... you will earn a Big candy if you do, you hear... a big one... and a Christmas card. :awesome

After reading of Harry Potter who feels bitter of being overshadowed by his brother's fame(yeah, yeah, that's not entirely true), he strives to prove himself and pretty much develops a need to achieve more than anyone else around him - why not wanting the prettiest girl in the school(assuming you will have Harry participating in the TWT and have the boy compete and wanting to win the thing)... ok you were right - it does sound retarded but with time it might fit somehow...

 

Nice update.

I hope that you'll be skipping a few years once Harry settles down at Durmstrang. Or at least skim through until your next 'big' thing. TWT seems to be the one everyone's thnking of.

 

Concerning Harry's darkness, I know the author hasn't really said much about it, but he can't give away the whole story at once now can he? Harry throughout has been shown to be a consummate scholar. He doesn't care about purebloodedness, or muggleborn rights. He doesn't want to rule from a shadowy throne, and doesn't have the cruelty to run around throwing crucios around. All he wants to do learn magic, and perhaps be seen as something other than the BWL brother.

Danger abound with cliches such as "Dark magic using but light sided Harry" and the ever popular term of "Grey!Harry", but I feel the that with the skill The Santi has shown in this story, he could navigate such waters.

I remember quirellmorts dark magic speech from the earlier chapters, about dark magic being thoses that cause lasting damages or the like. Someone like Moody obviously knows a whole load of dark arts, and in a wartime situation you can bet he'd use them. I think perhaps having your dark!Harry being some like Moody sans paranoia would be pretty cool. Something like Shezza's Denarian!Harry being the ringer for the Order when it comes to the more distasteful stuff.

Someplace like Durmstrang, with it's fierce academic competition could be a place to cultivate a Harry who is a bit more ruthless than what you normally see, but still on the moral side of the 'Light' with his family.

Definitively agreeing with the non death eater Harry crowd. All he wants to do is learn magic, 'light' magic, 'neutral' magic and even a bit of 'dark' magic.

 

The story works fine, there aren't that much inconsistencies. Harry is a bit naïve, but at his age he should be. I agree with the previous poster that Harry should be dark, and a scholarly ruthless dark at that.

I think Voldemorts plot is silly, but so are most of his convoluted plots in canon so I can't really fault you there. But Harry in this story, schooled in Durmstrang learn some independence, critical thinking and reasoning skills.

As long as he doesn't become a death eater or Dumbledores whipping boy sounds good. Maybe a bit conflict with family & ootp about killing DE's, though it's cliche it's reasonable and totally in character.

I could see this Harry becoming something like the one Miranda Flairgold's 2nd chance at life except without the silly animagus forms or over the top magics. While that story is a fun guilty pleasure sometimes it has been taken too much away from canon to really work. Then again Durmstrang could be a good middle ground between her Akren and Hogwarts.

I concur on skipping trough most of his schooling until TWT, atleast none of those silly lists of what he learned etc. or useless convoluted plots of JKR nature.

 

When critiquing work in WBA, should we be pointing out spelling/grammatical mistakes or only plot holes or ways to improve the story?

I noticed 3 or 4 errors while reading through it.


Other than that, I think the scene went fairly well. The dialogue flowed well enough to keep me interested, and there were no glaring plot holes that I could see.

That being said, why is it that Harry needs to learn German to attend Durmstrang? I thought Durmstrang was in northern Scandinavia, Norway or Sweden.(Harrypotter Wikia.)

 

Regarding Durmstrang, there once has been a discussion about it. However, disregarding what country it is located in, it is logical to assume that they would speak German since it is an old institution and German used to be the lingua franca in that area in the good old days. It was probably adopted at some point as the official language of the school, even if it isn't located in Germany.

If you find spelling mistakes, go ahead and point them out. Anything to improve the story is welcome. Unless the author doesn't want it, then do it twice as much.

 

Wassup :banana::banana::banana:

---------- Post automerged at 05:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:00 AM ----------

Just the ones that I noticed when I skimmed over it quickly the second time. I know there is at least one other mistake but I can't seem to find it.

 

This is a pretty decent story so far. Anybody can make a Dark!Harry story, but it takes a certain finesse to start with a Harry who had a loving family, and make the transition believable. I'm pretty sure that'll be your biggest challenge with this fic. But on the bright side, I wouldn't be surprised if you've already got some of the main details of that worked out.

Harry didn't take long at all to decide that Hogwarts wasn't going to work for him, did he? I suppose that's not too bizarre, given how, er, driven this Harry is, combined with how impulsive kids can be.

Are you intending that the fic cover seven years? With the pace you're using, that should make for a largish but manageable word count, I suppose. That said, if this story goes properly off the AU deep end, it doesn't have to be that long, either.

Provisional 4/5.

 

2 things:

1.) I can't see ANYONE saying outright, "I'm lonely and nobody likes me." Dumbledore could call Harry on it, "Who do you study with Mr. Potter?" or something but outright confession is too straightforward.

2.) We know what Riddle was like as a kid, and Harry is not that.

CHECKLIST: 1.) Loving home / Orphanage 2. Ravenclaw/ Slytherin 3. pariah/Socially popular. Riddle was liked by most people except at the orphanage. He was "charming". And he hurt other kids. Harry has done neither of those.

All I can see is that they are both advanced as their sole common thread. Also Riddle wanted to prove himself and have power whereas Harry wants to forge his own identity and loves learning.

 

If they're a school mostly for traditionalist insular purebloods, without any of Dumbledore's innovations, they probably won't do something stupid like use a muggle train (or a magical device inspired by steam locomotives) to waste a whole day to transport pureblood heirs (who have never used or even seen muggle transportation) from London to Scotland instead of flooing/portkeying everyone from home/public floo for the breakfast before the first day of school.

So they won't use a muggle invented artificial dialect of German that was no one's mother tongue. Depending on where they are, they probably use some dialect of North Germanic or West Germanic. Or Finnish. Or they might use Latin for education, as a universal lingua franca. Look at the language mix used in Carmina Burana, written in the middle ages by an international mix of scholarly students in Germany.

EDIT:

@World: Dumbledore is a muggle loving fool, and JKR is lazy. He should speak Victorian English, which is not much different from today's, though he should consider "ok" to be slang. It appears that Dursmstrang is run by the very people who oppose Dumbledore and consider everything he does as undermining their values. If they live in enclaves, are home schooled prior to boarding school, marry only their cousins and only shop in wizarding shops (even if they buy clothes made from muggle produced cotton, wool and linen and food grown by muggles), they could avoid dirtying themselves by muggle influences. Especially if they do it consciously. Also, the school could be run in a language that is not native to anyone, because it is the language of scholarly debate. For a traditionalist international school it might even be the sanest way.

 

And yet, Dumbledore doth not speak ye olde English, in spite of what some fanfiction writers might say. It would be logical for the insular pureblood societies to speak a different, older dialect, but even they can't shelter themselves from all muggle influences.

 

Sweet

I think the bold sentences should switch places.

 

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Arts

It says Dark Arts are corrupting in canon so I guess your going with that. However I find it hard to believe they would teach physically and mentally corrupting magic at Durmstrang. In canon the Dark Arts apparently changed Voldemort into the serpentine creature he is today from what that wiki page says.

Also you said the reason for them taking the oath was so feuds between families wouldn't be brought over between teachers and the student body. Couldn't teachers just hold members of the family they are feuding with to a higher standard? That seems like a fairly obvious loophole that parents of children would find unacceptable.

I definitely agree with the others who say Harry should not be a Death Eater. You remember Jbern's Bungle in the Jungle or whatever it's called? I think Harry should be a adventurer where he goes around trying to learn all types of magic. He is a scholar who thrives on learning new magic. Jbern's story was the ultimate adventurer!Harry story. I wouldn't mind seeing Harry traveling to ancient temples collecting tomes of magic. It would be hard to create adventures and fit different types of magic into a magic that follows some set of rules. However I believe you can do it.

I think what he meant was how Hogwarts student body was creating a strain between him and his brother and one of the things he is hoping to accomplish by going to Durmstrang would be to relieve that tension so they can go back to being friends again. Like he said it also makes a good argument to his parents and Dumbledore to allow him to go to Durmstrang. Since they obviously don't want the two brothers to have a strained relationship.

Thanks for the story Traitorous. After seeing the summary and what you said about it I've decided I want to read it.

Your strecthing the Harry/Fleur ship a bit. Although I still think it's possible. How about both Harry and Fleur be apart of some amateur dueling tournament?

Ya your right the author shouldn't have had Harry come out and say it. I think Harry should have talked around the issue and since his parents have already started to catch on to the fact that Harry has no friends his mom should have gently asked him about who he studies or hangs out with and him become quiet and withdrawn.

I think the author was going for loneliness and rage as the two things that connected Tom Riddle and Harry Potter as well as their amazing control of magic. However after your explanation I have to say that seems like a shallow excuse to compare the two.

 

While the Wiki contends that the Dark Arts are a corrupting force, I tend to think that the more garden variety dark arts - powerful spells, normally used in combat, probably wouldn't have such an effect.

Sure, Voldemort's looks changed dramatically, but he supposedly did things never thought possible. It might be fanon, but aren't you only meant to create one Horcrux, otherwise you risk insanity by splitting your soul? Again, it also might be fanon, but didn't Voldemort use a number of dark rituals that resulted in his power/looks?

We have plenty of other Dark Wizard characters who are pretty dark as they come in the Death Eaters, and they don't seem to have been painted in the same stroke as Voldemort in terms of crazy disfigurement. Sure, things like depravity, cruelty and a whole lot more mean words sum up how the DEs act, but I think thats a correlation, not a cause in regards to their use of Dark Magic.

 

I'm pretty sure it was explicitly stated by Dumbledore in HBP that Voldemort's declining appearance was due to him splitting his soul so many times.

 

Actually I would say this is more the Michael Jackson effect than anything to do with dark magic.

Obsession with young boys? (At least one, anyway) Check.
Unhappy with the circumstances of his birth? Check.
The best at what he does. (King of Pop/Darkest Dark Lord EVAR) Check.
Undergoes significant changes in appearance after becoming successful? Check.

Only question left is...can he dance? :awesome

 

Yes. They're still on good terms now but if Harry spends another six years being vastly more successful than his brother and gets only social isolation and accusations of jealousy for it, they sure won't be. That's the most plausible reason for Dumbledore to want him to transfer.

 

Not only can he dance, but he can also

Quirrel: D-d-d-d d-d-d-d-duel!!

 

It's very well written, Interesting plot and excellent character development. This easily receives a 5/5 from me.

 

Will you be skipping a few years ahead?

I mean some descriptions of life at Durmstrang would be great,
but I fear that if you were to write year after year the story would
get abandoned, it would be a shame.

Great chapter today, keep it up. Write your story as you see fit, ofcourse.