Who says she would be clever enough not to be obvious about it? It's a mistake an 11 year-old would make. She's not Voldemort, we can't expect her to be as skilled as an adult in her manipulations.

What she does strikes me as the kind of thing a kid that age might do.

 

True, but.

Given the climate of the school, it strikes me as the sort of mistake you'd make once. Granted, she's eleven, so it's not as bad as when fifth-year Slytherins are as transparent as glass.

 

Well, good chapter. The only thing I can find to think of to point out is that Harry seems... well, too trusting. He'll get mad and fight fiercely against attackers once they show themselves, but doesn't look for those who might be them before that. True, he is only 11, and a kid, but like other people have said, he is highly intelligent, and I think he'd realize sooner or later that he is in potentially hostile territory and must take steps to think proactively, rather than reactively. It will only lead to his downfall.

Good story, though! I'm rooting for you!

 

As I said earlier in the thread, Nathan is the child in the prophecy and he possesses the power of love - love that will inspire his older brother to murder the dirty wizard after his hide.

 

I didn't get that at all. I just laughed at it.

 

Liked it.

The dueling scene is rather good. It's short, which is realistic, and the spells are inventive enough. Calypso's dueling style is also nicely done. I like how you're fleshing out her character in general, and her obvious difficulty in charms.

Strikes me as odd that Harry would consider many hours of tutoring in exchange for a book recommendation an ok deal. But then Harry doesn't mind tutoring, and he gets another favor, so maybe it works.

 

He was also saved from eternally speaking in lyrics.

 

A possible future, love interest? Or if she's anything like the original Calypso, maybe she just likes males, young or old.

 

I liked this passage. The interaction between Harry and Calypso was fairly enjoyable. I hope she sticks around. She's certainly more palatable than Krum's bigot of a girlfriend.

 

Excellent work! The dueling scenes were well written. You actually managed to give a very believable reason for the dueling stances, like Harry presenting a small profile (Which is defense oriented) and Calypso's Belltarix-like offensive stance.


I like her character, hoping to read more of her.

 

"Looking completely impassive, Calypso met Harry’s eyes and, slowly, a smile graced her face. “I wish I could take the credit, but my father charmed this table so that only I or those I invite to sit here are able to use it.” "

......Her father went into the Durmstrang library to charm a table for her..........


"Harry thought about it. He knew that he certainly owed Calypso for helping him, and she had so far not been at all hostile towards him."

I am still MASSIVELY irritated by the fact that he owes her a friggin favor because she offered him a PUBLIC library book. I know you needed a way to get her to meet Harry but honestly couldn't you have made it more realistic? At least make it one of her own books so that he isn't stupid enough to owe her a favor over a library book.

Your really stretching this thing with Calypso. Victor could help Harry with Dark Arts better then Calypso probably could. Let's say however that since Victor(who probably would have trained him in Dark Arts already as a thank you for tutoring him) is busy then Harry would have to learn with Calypso. That is still one class for one class. The entire owing a favor for a library book and having to help her pass a entire year of classes is so dumb I am not sure why more people aren't complaining. Oephyx seems to be the only other one who brought up how odd it was Harry would willingly put in many hours of training for a book recommendation. So maybe I am not the only one who finds this annoying.

ONE ENTIRE YEAR OF TRAINING IN EITHER TRANSFIGURATION OR CHARMS = PUBLIC LIBRARY BOOK. It's not a story destroying mistake but it certainly is dumb beyond belief. I understand you want them to meet but please think of a better friggin way for them to meet instead of him owing her a favor for a library book. How about she is just nice to him in the Library and gives him advice on what books to read and then Feb. 24th she asks for his help with two classes and in exchange she helps with Dark Arts and Spell Creation? That would make a whole hell of a lot more sense then some random girl popping up and offering a PUBLIC library book in exchange for a favor and Harry "feeling" like he had no choice but to accept to give her a years worth of training in exchange for a PUBLIC library book. I keep putting emphasis on the word PUBLIC because it means he can borrow the friggin book at any time without having to owe anyone a favor which makes it impossible for me to stomach in a story I like for it's realism.

Not sure how I feel about a OC prodigy that coincidently makes a amazing dueling partner since Quirrell isn't here and Victor is always busy with Quidditch. Maybe she will grow on me but atm her character feels like a amazingly forced coincidence(library book owing favor/Harry needing Dark Arts help/Harry needing dueling partner). She just appears out of nowhere and in a annoying way makes her presence known to Harry and then has all of his answers to life's questions.

 

Jigokuno, you forget that Harry has no friends. While he's not about to start crying about it, he was actually happy when Krum acknowledged their friendship. It is not impossible that he would lend a hand to another person to befriend her, especially if said person was smart/talented.

@Santi: Well, I'm starting to enjoy the story now that Harry arrived at his new school, whereas the Hogwarts interactions annoyed me. Goof job so far, especially on giving actual meaning to the hate the Dark Arts teacher seems to hold for Harry.

By the way, Calypso last name: Is she going to be the daughter of another OC, or is she the heir to Rosier/Rookwood evilness? Her father seems to hold a certain amount of power with the staff, and in a school ruled by a former deatheather it becomes a possibility. Of course, I just want to see Harry parents faces when they hear about his new buddy.

 

I've made some changes to that scene where Harry first meets Calypso in the library (don't bother looking for it tho b/c I haven't posted the edited version). At Vlad's suggestion, Calypso doesn't give him the book and demand a favor.

Now she stops him from reading the cursed book and simple gives him the dark arts book. Since Harry does want friends and Calypso helped him when she didn't need to, he's not opposed to helping her out.

Jiko: Hope that puts aside some of your reservations. Also, Viktor has helped Harry in the Dark Arts, he was the one who taught Harry the shield charm.

Nightspy: Calypso's last name is canon. Good catch.

 

I would agree with this as a motivation, and I think that Santi should put emphasis on this. Harry has only one friend at Durmstrang, and seeing as his social isolation was an issue at Hogwarts I think that he would go out of his way to try to make friends here if presented the opportunity. If that means helping tutor them and receiving help in return, then that's fine.

 

Something tells me thats gonna cause a few issues a little further down the line.

 

Okay that seems fine. Glad you decided to change it that scene really irked me. It makes sense he wants to make friends and if you put emphasis on the making friends part and take away the whole owing a favor thing the storyline makes a good deal more sense. I can definetly see Harry being helpful to someone in order to make more friends.

Can't wait to read the edited version.

 

I'm agreeing with this, IMO. However, I'm confident The Santi knows what he's doing, and won't do something utterly retarded.

And on that note, good update.

 

I actually didn't mind Harry deciding to help Calypso. He was willing to walk away until she sweetened the deal and offered to tutor him in the Dark Arts. Harry seems like the kind of guy that will always be tempted by knowledge, so it is in character for him to help Calypso in return for help in Dark Arts. He wasn't about to tutor her for nothing even for friendship.

With Viktor it made sense also. Viktor became a friend before Harry offered to help him out in his classes. Plus, having a third year as a friend is just another method of protecting himself, and I'm guessing that when Viktor becomes known as a Quidditch star, Harry is going to be untouchable.