Title: Ever Dawn
Author: Eyes.Radios.Lies
Rating: T
Pairing: Cho/Harry
Status: Oneshot
Link: PC
Summary:
A few small choices can make all the difference, really. An alternative look at OoTP. Oneshot. Cho/Harry

So. An IRC Member wrote this, but thinks its far to soft for his reputation, things of late considered. So he asked that it be ghosted and pasted to prove its not nearly as bad as he thinks.

Tanks to Trag for the title since the other fag didn't give me one. >_>

Edit; Story fixed since the TXT file killed all quotations. >_>

 

Aside from some kind of screw up with the parenthesis, I don't have a problem with it. It is not DLPish but it definitely on the right side of the crap pile.

 

I'm not really a Harry/Cho fan, but I found it was a good way to use a few minutes.
4/5 from me. Not really earth-shattering, but definitely not bad.

 

I like it myself. Gives a nice "What if?" scenario. 4/5 from me. It didn't give too many details on what happened, but the Cho parts were nice.

 

I've never actually read Harry/Cho before, but I thought that this one was decently done. The writing was good, although the story itself isn't really my cup of tea. It's not the type of fic that I'd normally read, but for what it was (a short, 2 or 3 minute read) it was well done.

Solid 4/5 from me.

 

Even if his arm and leg were boneless, he still should have made like Gumby and play-doh'd the ho.

 

It's all right. Certainly nothing to be embarrassed over.

The trouble isn't with the Harry/Cho, but with the vast gulf separating the two scenes. We don't get to see what happened differently because of Cho's warning, though it's hinted that Umbridge wasn't able to kick Dumbledore out of Hogwarts.

If that's the case, why would Harry and his buddies walk into the trap in the same way? Too many unanswered questions for this to be really interesting, but it might be neat to see it as part of a larger story.

3/5

 

Well, I don't know how bad "he" thought this was, but it's certainly not worthy of 4/5. Maybe 3/5.

Here's what I said in my PC review:

Mr. Mike is right, I think. The story is barely anything at all - just a light, airy concoction that hints at something interesting but doesn't "quite" make it there. I'd like to see a more fleshed out version. This one is a little too "eh" for me. I can't allow myself to be swayed by the H/C - it's not just up to what it could be, that's my main problem. But amortized...

3/5
-J

 

I really liked this. The parts where things turned out worse in some places, but overall it was better what originaly happend.

I'm going to give it four out of five stars.

 

The story is written well enough. But as DLM put it, there are too many unanswered questions. If Dumbledore is not thrown out of Hogwarts, then why didn't Harry go to warn him about his vision.

My rating: 3/5. If the story was a bit more long and filled the gaps then I might have given it a 4.

 

It's mostly written well but there's one problem I had with it that should be corrected:

Spoiler

Last paragraph: His grin widened further as he came back to the present, feeling Cho's arms wrap around him cautiously but firmly, her breasts pushing into his back as he molded herself up against him, the soft wind of her breath brushing against his cheek. Maybe he had something else, too.

Unintentional, I hope. But Hermaphrodite!Cho???

 

inb4 Cho's massive cock jokes.

Anyway, will the mysterious author reveal themselves eventually ?

 

Serious review: This feels more like a musing than a coherent one shot. I like the general idea of one small choice changing so much but it needs to be a little tighter. The pay off needs to be executed better. That said, we haven't had anything for Romance section in the last oh three years. So maybe...

 

Yea, we're kinda short in the romantic aspect nowadays..

As someone said above, this could be more detailed but oh well.. I'll give it a 3.5/5.

 

Sorry, but this was really, really boring.

2/5

 

Don't see why many are enjoying this enough to give fours (evidenced by the 3.38 rating as of this moment). This is barely more than an idea. Original as Cho warning Harry may be, that in tandem with a few briefly mentioned changes does not equal a great one-shot.

3 at best.

 

This, except I can't stand Cho almost as much as I can't stand Ginny. I think Cormic McLaggen needs to get with this Harry, so he can use it and lose it. :awesome

2/5 from me. There were a few mistakes here and there that could have been ironed out with a double check or triple check. I think all of them have already been pointed out, but they were pretty jarring; especially the last line... Also, where's it going? What's the point? What changed?

 

I actually think that Cho got completely screwed over by JKR. Proof that JKR hates Asians?

Anyways, the story itself was ... rather lacking. The idea that Cho would warn Harry of the betrayal of Marietta has a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the author through it out there just to dry.

I also found the descriptions describing Harry's take on his relationship with Cho tedious. It felt... forced.

2/5. It could have been a 3/5 or higher if the author didn't bring up an interesting idea and take it nowhere.

 

There is no way this story merits its current average rating of 4 stars (or 3.5 points).

Saying the writing isn't polished would be an understatement, not to mention much of the ficlet feels very contrived- what with Cho conveniently warning Harry of Marietta without any explanatory backstory. Not to mention the whole thing with Sirius surviving and everything going right... or as right as it can get, for Harry.

Cho wasn't well-written here either, something that is crucial for a H/C work to be any good.

I like the pairing, and would generally lookout for decent fics containing it, but this one just doesn't cut it.

2/5

 

I rather liked it. As mentioned before, a very good 'What if'. Well written, A lot of potential that actually sits quite well where it's left. Instead of feeling unfinished it does what JKR should have done. It leaves the end open to be interpreted however you want it to read.

A cut above average 4/5