Amazing AU. I really love Skitterleap and it's a 5/5 fic for me but I greatly prefer BtDL and this fic for sticking closer to canon. Seeing your incredible writing skills applied to the typical HP and Hogwarts plot structure results in something fucking amazing.

5/5

 

Here is what I think of your story, enembee.

First story was intensely AU with the old world scenario. It didnt draw me in that well but I skimmed through it, liked the part with using strings and simple objects as a focus. That's pretty cool. Second story, with the Harry P being a mary sue and all doesn't really work for me. He's too perfect at shit. Needs to be pecked down the food chain to the level of the above average protagonist faced with hideously unmanageable conflict.

That's my thinking. I try not to do it too much because its harmful to the brain. I know this because I once had a thought and then I forgot it. That proves thinking causes amnesia. And amnesia is listed as a negative side effect by FDA's side effect profile. Drugs cause amnesia. Therefore thinking is a drug, and may also be addictive. More research needs to be done in that regard. Perhaps you can explore this concept by thinking of ways to make Harry P less of a Mary Sue (Missy Perfect). Remember to put condoms on your fingers before you type to protect yourself from the harmful effects of thinking though. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.

I once knew a chimp who could think. He got dissected by scientists though in an effort to find the source of this contagious disease. I think the Chimp's name was Free Willy. He worked part time at McDonalds and also had a full time job as a whale in the movie, Free Willy. Which is why you should use condoms, or else your willy will be exposed to the harmful radiation released by the thought process. You can find more information at the very informative site called google.com pronounced "JEW-GAL DOT COM"

I hope this review was helpful.

 

WTF?

/filler

 

Trident's back. Yaaaay.

-_____-

 

Umm wow, thats honestly the strangest review i've EVER read in my life.

 

Oh ok, that makes sense.

So Harry's gay in this story right? Does that mean Luna's a trap or does he already know?

 

Fun Fact: frogs joined the same day that 4R4W was banned.

Coincidence? I think not.

 

...

Youse Trollin.

 

Can a troll give constructive criticism?

I THINK NOT.

My beef with this fic is the MC (main character) is too perfect. I just dressed it up with a sense of humor.

If that's a crime, I will gladly accept the banhammer and make a new account.

Also to FP: Immm not trrrolling!

 

Actually you just spewed nonsense for a paragraph and assumed it would be amusing, it wasn't. The LOLSORANDOM thing doesn't work here.

That's not constructive criticism, it's trolling.

And that's why God invented IP bans.

(Wait for the 'I has IP Scrambler/Randomizer/Ban-Blocker so you can never ban me!)

Kindly stop ruining this thread.

 

Also isn't the gene coding for eye color affected by a master gene regulating other genes? So if Harry's eyes are brown instead of green, there is a high probability other parts of his appearance are different as well. Not really related to the story, but just sayin'

 

Just sayin'

 

Oh frogs, you destroyed a beautiful thread. I am disappoint.

 

I like getting criticized by atrocious writers.

Frog, if talent was petrol, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny.

Enjoy your ban.

 

Updated today. ETA 30 minutes.

 

Great chapter as always. I have to admit I am a little confused as to who the Gryffindor quidditch captain is. Earlier in the story it seemed like it was Angelina but now its Katie. Clearly unimportant but seemed off.

Again though you make my days complete with this story.

 

While I enjoyed the chapter I was a bit put off how people who were decades older and wiser than Harry submit to him like he was some grizzled war veteran. I did like how Harry aditted there was no way he could defeat Voldemort; ,I always thought the only way for Harry to win should be a technicality.