1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete Conlaodh's Song by enembee - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by enembee, Aug 10, 2010.

  1. ashura

    ashura Third Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2010
    Messages:
    92
    Location:
    NYC
    Amazing AU. I really love Skitterleap and it's a 5/5 fic for me but I greatly prefer BtDL and this fic for sticking closer to canon. Seeing your incredible writing skills applied to the typical HP and Hogwarts plot structure results in something fucking amazing.

    5/5
     
  2. frogs

    frogs Backtraced

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    Here is what I think of your story, enembee.

    First story was intensely AU with the old world scenario. It didnt draw me in that well but I skimmed through it, liked the part with using strings and simple objects as a focus. That's pretty cool. Second story, with the Harry P being a mary sue and all doesn't really work for me. He's too perfect at shit. Needs to be pecked down the food chain to the level of the above average protagonist faced with hideously unmanageable conflict.

    That's my thinking. I try not to do it too much because its harmful to the brain. I know this because I once had a thought and then I forgot it. That proves thinking causes amnesia. And amnesia is listed as a negative side effect by FDA's side effect profile. Drugs cause amnesia. Therefore thinking is a drug, and may also be addictive. More research needs to be done in that regard. Perhaps you can explore this concept by thinking of ways to make Harry P less of a Mary Sue (Missy Perfect). Remember to put condoms on your fingers before you type to protect yourself from the harmful effects of thinking though. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.

    I once knew a chimp who could think. He got dissected by scientists though in an effort to find the source of this contagious disease. I think the Chimp's name was Free Willy. He worked part time at McDonalds and also had a full time job as a whale in the movie, Free Willy. Which is why you should use condoms, or else your willy will be exposed to the harmful radiation released by the thought process. You can find more information at the very informative site called google.com pronounced "JEW-GAL DOT COM"

    I hope this review was helpful.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2010
  3. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,059
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    WTF?

    /filler
     
  4. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,193
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    Trident's back. Yaaaay.

    -_____-
     
  5. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,284
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Umm wow, thats honestly the strangest review i've EVER read in my life.
     
  6. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    9,028
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    Not sure if troll or not.

    Also, the whole point of this story is that Harry's the next Dumbledore, he has to be a prodigy for this to work.
     
  7. frogs

    frogs Backtraced

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    Oh ok, that makes sense.

    So Harry's gay in this story right? Does that mean Luna's a trap or does he already know?
     
  8. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,356
    Location:
    West Coast
    Fun Fact: frogs joined the same day that 4R4W was banned.

    Coincidence? I think not.
     
  9. Fiat

    Fiat The Chosen One DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Messages:
    2,235
    Location:
    Varies
  10. frogs

    frogs Backtraced

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    Can a troll give constructive criticism?

    I THINK NOT.

    My beef with this fic is the MC (main character) is too perfect. I just dressed it up with a sense of humor.

    If that's a crime, I will gladly accept the banhammer and make a new account.

    Also to FP: Immm not trrrolling!
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2010
  11. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,192
    Location:
    On Melancholy Hill
    Actually you just spewed nonsense for a paragraph and assumed it would be amusing, it wasn't. The LOLSORANDOM thing doesn't work here.

    That's not constructive criticism, it's trolling.

    And that's why God invented IP bans.

    (Wait for the 'I has IP Scrambler/Randomizer/Ban-Blocker so you can never ban me!)

    Kindly stop ruining this thread.
     
  12. frogs

    frogs Backtraced

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    Also isn't the gene coding for eye color affected by a master gene regulating other genes? So if Harry's eyes are brown instead of green, there is a high probability other parts of his appearance are different as well. Not really related to the story, but just sayin'
     
  13. ashura

    ashura Third Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2010
    Messages:
    92
    Location:
    NYC
    [​IMG]

    Just sayin'
     
  14. frogs

    frogs Backtraced

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    34
  15. Xantam

    Xantam Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Messages:
    1,347
    Location:
    Denver
    Oh frogs, you destroyed a beautiful thread. I am disappoint.
     
  16. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
    Messages:
    301
    Location:
    Murias
    High Score:
    2,451
    I like getting criticized by atrocious writers.

    Frog, if talent was petrol, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny.

    Enjoy your ban.
     
  17. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,036
    Hey, why don't you update NMB, before I fucking kill you. -_-

    Everytime I get an update to this thread, its faggots whining...
     
  18. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
    Messages:
    301
    Location:
    Murias
    High Score:
    2,451
    Updated today. ETA 30 minutes.
     
  19. justbrowsing

    justbrowsing Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 17, 2009
    Messages:
    281
    Great chapter as always. I have to admit I am a little confused as to who the Gryffindor quidditch captain is. Earlier in the story it seemed like it was Angelina but now its Katie. Clearly unimportant but seemed off.

    Again though you make my days complete with this story.
     
  20. Potterondrugs

    Potterondrugs Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Messages:
    266
    Location:
    NJ
    While I enjoyed the chapter I was a bit put off how people who were decades older and wiser than Harry submit to him like he was some grizzled war veteran. I did like how Harry aditted there was no way he could defeat Voldemort; ,I always thought the only way for Harry to win should be a technicality.
     
Loading...