Title: Harry & The Mysterious Curse of the Girl-Who-Lived
Author: Jeram
Rating: T
Genre: AU
DLP Category: The Alternates
Pairing: Harry/Platonic Harem + older love interests
Chapters: 18
Words: 144,993
Status: WiP
Summary: Harry is the Boy-Who-Lived. So why does everyone think he's Harriet, the Girl-Who-Lived? Wizards are nutters...
Link: eFeFahhhhh.net

DLP likes when Harry meets his GWL alternate universe version and helps her 'grow up.' DLP likes it when girl!Harry shows up and helps Harry 'grow up.' And we excuse this lovely little deviancy as only the most natural act of masturbation.

But what if....Harry was the GWL but felt like BWL, a male lesbian, perhaps.

Is the world of girls really that much crueler than that of boys? Does a girl really know how to handle a wand better than a boy? These are the deep questions about our selves that Jeram expounds on in this thinly veiled commentary on our fear of the female clitoris.

And it's super hilarious and a good time too, so even if you feel some vagoo envy, you'll feel it with a smile on your face.

Enjoy.

Checked by Ched, December 2017
Checked by Minion, August 21, 2013

 

You missed the 'by' in the title.

Also, it's brilliant.

5/5

 

I didn't you nitpicking, avatar switch and baiting, white bread. The story title was so effing long I decided to cut out his name to punish his lack of brevity. *

But thank you for the 5/5. Even if you like to mislead people with thinner pictures of yourself like desperate women on the internet do, at least you have great taste in fanfiction.

Yours truly,

The Man of the Octobers




*Aaaaaand who gets to do the menial tasks?
At the first "go back to the kitchen where you belong" joke, I'll start abusing that EDIT button and blame it on a transitory fit of madness.

 

;D POSTING FORMAT NUHUH, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.

 

Well, I don't really see how this got 5 stars. I forced myself through the first chapter but couldn't get any farther. It's the original plot, written very quickly (and without much style) with one repeated joke throughout. A little funny the first... or second... or third time. But when it becomes expected, it's just not. Harry/Harriet doesn't even have believable reactions.

Even for crackfic, pretty bad. 2/5

 

To be honest, I felt this way too when I started reading it on PC. However after seeing it posted in the WbA, I decided to slog through it and realized it's not a pure crack!fic and actually pretty funny despite your legitimate complaints about writing style and such.

 

I agree. 4/5, with the possibility of moving up or down depending on how the story goes.

 

Completely underwhealming I was hoping for a well written plot with everyone wondering why the GWL was male, instead everyone magical but harry sees him as female.

Whatever it is doesn't seem to effect non magicals though, so it just comes off as pointlessly screwed up.

Not worth reading 2/5

 

The writing is boring and contains no personal style at all. While the overall concept of the story is rather original, the plot is nonexistent. All the author has done so far is rewrite The Sorcerer's Stone with Harry as a girl. This seems to change a few things (Snape likes "Harriet" because she looks like her mother), but the story isn't different enough to be worth reading. I didn't find it funny.

2/5

 

Harry and his igneous rock harem! Jeram, I didn't know you were going to pair Harry with a volcano!

Kidding aside, I think you meant "platonic".

 

loool, that's what I get for posting sleep deprived from three nights.

 

I've been following this in WbA, and while all my usual issues with Jeram's writing hold true - his dialogue is patchy, his prose tends to get a bit cluttered, and frankly, I find it extremely difficult to avoid skipping sections of text entirely - this is a nifty new idea written in an interesting way, and that's damn near unprecedented these days.

Despite my relative squicks involving some elements of where the plot is inevitably going, I'm still interested in where Jeram is going with this. If anything, I was reminded of that 'Sally-Anne Perks' story that was in here, and I find the two having an apt comparison, at least in terms of context: they've both interesting ideas that fall a little flat technically and plot-wise in the execution, both with a mystery and a quasi-sophisticated writing style. If Jeram could tighten things up a little, avoid the burden of the minutia that's bogging down parts of the story, he could have something truly interesting here.

As it is, it's a little early to rate, but I feel confident giving this a 4/5 and following it in WbA. Those who are giving this 2/5 or less... well, I can't understand your taste, but from a literary standpoint, it deserves much more.

 

If it was a little less PS and a little more AU it would be better. I like the humor and treat as what it is. Sometimes you guys over-analyze the mechanics of a story to death. Grammar doesn't have to be absolutely perfect or it's an automatic 2/5. If it's hard to read because of numerous, obvious errors to anyone other than an English professor, then I can see marking it down.

It's not My Immortal.

I still like it more than most rewrites. 3.5/5. If it goes more AU and less copying straight from the book, then it would go higher.

 

It's new, it's refreshing and it kept me occupied through chapters 1 - 4.

4/5

 

Trust Shezza to endorse a trap!fic.

That said, I've thoroughly enjoyed it thus far. A rare 5/5 rating from me.

 

The main difference between this and Sally-Anne Perks is that the lulz are strong with this one. 5/5

 

To me how it is written is better than what is written. Just a personal quirk for myself I guess. Given how some rate fics on ideas and if they like it, this being humor I can see that more so, and some by how well it is written, myself; I'm torn how to rate it.

I did smile quite a bit, so I like some of the jokes. However, from a literary stand point, how it is written, I really can't say too much on it. He relies on humor to get some things across, his sentences are a bit windy and at times I skip whole sections. The dialogue could use some ironing out also. Add to it that it's a rewrite with nothing changing too much means only the concept is holding it aloft. I don't rate 5/5 for concepts alone.

My Immortal deserves a 1/5 for bad grammar and wording.
2/5 for something interesting but bad execution.
3/5 for average of both. Which I think suits this fic just fine.

 

The concept so far, is relatively unique as far as what I have read. With that in mind, sure there are a few quirks, but it definitely has been an entertaining story for me up to now at least. I can only hope it continues to be so.

I'll rate it a tentative four out of five. (it's a four-plus, but not quite a five for me)

 

I have enjoyed this so far. The only problem, and it's been mentioned, is that too much is taken word for word from canon. Other than that I find the concept intriguing and I am hoping for some truly epic reason for the confusion.

3.5/5 from me because of the aforementioned