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WIP Harry & The Mysterious Curse of the Girl-Who-Lived by Jeram - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Nuhuh, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Title: Harry & The Mysterious Curse of the Girl-Who-Lived
    Author: Jeram
    Rating: T
    Genre: AU
    DLP Category: The Alternates
    Pairing: Harry/Platonic Harem + older love interests
    Chapters: 18
    Words: 144,993

    Status: WiP
    Summary: Harry is the Boy-Who-Lived. So why does everyone think he's Harriet, the Girl-Who-Lived? Wizards are nutters...
    Link: eFeFahhhhh.net

    DLP likes when Harry meets his GWL alternate universe version and helps her 'grow up.' DLP likes it when girl!Harry shows up and helps Harry 'grow up.' And we excuse this lovely little deviancy as only the most natural act of masturbation.

    But what if....Harry was the GWL but felt like BWL, a male lesbian, perhaps.

    Is the world of girls really that much crueler than that of boys? Does a girl really know how to handle a wand better than a boy? These are the deep questions about our selves that Jeram expounds on in this thinly veiled commentary on our fear of the female clitoris.

    And it's super hilarious and a good time too, so even if you feel some vagoo envy, you'll feel it with a smile on your face.

    Enjoy.

    Checked by Ched, December 2017
    Checked by Minion, August 21, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2017
  2. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

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    You missed the 'by' in the title.

    Also, it's brilliant.

    5/5
     
  3. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    I didn't you nitpicking, avatar switch and baiting, white bread. The story title was so effing long I decided to cut out his name to punish his lack of brevity. *

    But thank you for the 5/5. Even if you like to mislead people with thinner pictures of yourself like desperate women on the internet do, at least you have great taste in fanfiction.

    Yours truly,

    The Man of the Octobers




    *Aaaaaand who gets to do the menial tasks?
    At the first "go back to the kitchen where you belong" joke, I'll start abusing that EDIT button and blame it on a transitory fit of madness.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2010
  4. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

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    ;D POSTING FORMAT NUHUH, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
     
  5. Everetza

    Everetza Second Year

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    Well, I don't really see how this got 5 stars. I forced myself through the first chapter but couldn't get any farther. It's the original plot, written very quickly (and without much style) with one repeated joke throughout. A little funny the first... or second... or third time. But when it becomes expected, it's just not. Harry/Harriet doesn't even have believable reactions.

    Even for crackfic, pretty bad. 2/5
     
  6. b0b3rt

    b0b3rt Backtraced

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    To be honest, I felt this way too when I started reading it on PC. However after seeing it posted in the WbA, I decided to slog through it and realized it's not a pure crack!fic and actually pretty funny despite your legitimate complaints about writing style and such.
     
  7. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    It's a little early to rate for me, since whatever the main plot is doesn't seem to have kicked in. So far we just have the running gag and some good writing.

    I'll rate the thread at 4/5 because I'm enjoying it so far. I could see that dropping later on though depending on where the story goes (or doesn't go). Granted it could also go up. ;)
     
  8. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Order Member

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    I agree. 4/5, with the possibility of moving up or down depending on how the story goes.
     
  9. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Completely underwhealming I was hoping for a well written plot with everyone wondering why the GWL was male, instead everyone magical but harry sees him as female.

    Whatever it is doesn't seem to effect non magicals though, so it just comes off as pointlessly screwed up.

    Not worth reading 2/5
     
  10. evilchaos

    evilchaos Squib

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    The writing is boring and contains no personal style at all. While the overall concept of the story is rather original, the plot is nonexistent. All the author has done so far is rewrite The Sorcerer's Stone with Harry as a girl. This seems to change a few things (Snape likes "Harriet" because she looks like her mother), but the story isn't different enough to be worth reading. I didn't find it funny.

    2/5
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  11. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    Harry and his igneous rock harem! Jeram, I didn't know you were going to pair Harry with a volcano!

    Kidding aside, I think you meant "platonic".
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2010
  12. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    loool, that's what I get for posting sleep deprived from three nights.
     
  13. Silens Cursor

    Silens Cursor The Silencer DLP Supporter

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    I've been following this in WbA, and while all my usual issues with Jeram's writing hold true - his dialogue is patchy, his prose tends to get a bit cluttered, and frankly, I find it extremely difficult to avoid skipping sections of text entirely - this is a nifty new idea written in an interesting way, and that's damn near unprecedented these days.

    Despite my relative squicks involving some elements of where the plot is inevitably going, I'm still interested in where Jeram is going with this. If anything, I was reminded of that 'Sally-Anne Perks' story that was in here, and I find the two having an apt comparison, at least in terms of context: they've both interesting ideas that fall a little flat technically and plot-wise in the execution, both with a mystery and a quasi-sophisticated writing style. If Jeram could tighten things up a little, avoid the burden of the minutia that's bogging down parts of the story, he could have something truly interesting here.

    As it is, it's a little early to rate, but I feel confident giving this a 4/5 and following it in WbA. Those who are giving this 2/5 or less... well, I can't understand your taste, but from a literary standpoint, it deserves much more.
     
  14. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

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    If it was a little less PS and a little more AU it would be better. I like the humor and treat as what it is. Sometimes you guys over-analyze the mechanics of a story to death. Grammar doesn't have to be absolutely perfect or it's an automatic 2/5. If it's hard to read because of numerous, obvious errors to anyone other than an English professor, then I can see marking it down.

    It's not My Immortal.

    I still like it more than most rewrites. 3.5/5. If it goes more AU and less copying straight from the book, then it would go higher.
     
  15. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    It's new, it's refreshing and it kept me occupied through chapters 1 - 4.

    4/5
     
  16. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Trust Shezza to endorse a trap!fic.

    That said, I've thoroughly enjoyed it thus far. A rare 5/5 rating from me.
     
  17. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    The main difference between this and Sally-Anne Perks is that the lulz are strong with this one. 5/5
     
  18. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    To me how it is written is better than what is written. Just a personal quirk for myself I guess. Given how some rate fics on ideas and if they like it, this being humor I can see that more so, and some by how well it is written, myself; I'm torn how to rate it.

    I did smile quite a bit, so I like some of the jokes. However, from a literary stand point, how it is written, I really can't say too much on it. He relies on humor to get some things across, his sentences are a bit windy and at times I skip whole sections. The dialogue could use some ironing out also. Add to it that it's a rewrite with nothing changing too much means only the concept is holding it aloft. I don't rate 5/5 for concepts alone.

    My Immortal deserves a 1/5 for bad grammar and wording.
    2/5 for something interesting but bad execution.
    3/5 for average of both. Which I think suits this fic just fine.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  19. Fenraellis

    Fenraellis Chief Warlock

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    The concept so far, is relatively unique as far as what I have read. With that in mind, sure there are a few quirks, but it definitely has been an entertaining story for me up to now at least. I can only hope it continues to be so.

    I'll rate it a tentative four out of five. (it's a four-plus, but not quite a five for me)
     
  20. ShadowKat

    ShadowKat Second Year

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    I have enjoyed this so far. The only problem, and it's been mentioned, is that too much is taken word for word from canon. Other than that I find the concept intriguing and I am hoping for some truly epic reason for the confusion.

    3.5/5 from me because of the aforementioned
     
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