What this guy said.

 

Ack! That was a rhetorical question! Actually, it barely even qualified as rhetorical.

Now I'll just look like a cocktease. :facepalm

Seriously though, virtually nothing I've written is in any readable form. It's nearly random, vaguely connected scenes and ideas, dumped into the appropriate file, with zero regard for chronological order; I just open the file, add the newest snippet at the end, then close it.

Plus I almost always write conflicting scenes, leaving a note to just fucking pick one later... Yeah, none of it makes sense. They aren't stories, just potential stories.

But if I keel over tomorrow, maybe we can get Brandon Sanderson to finish them. It's working for Robert Jordon. :awesome

 

The General by R-
No man has infinite capacity; a man whose hope has died three or four times stops to hope at all. This is burnout, and the only solution is to rest, and to heal the heart with good food and good friends. But absences are noticed, and gaps must be filled.

R- is the overall editor of nos tres reges group and sole author of Intoxication

Starts as a 5th year Dementor attack divergence and heads on off from there. While the story hasn't had the chance to get going, it honestly didn't really make me want to read more and await updates, however previous works like VINCENT & Intoxication lead to giving this story a chance to see if it improve.

A particular part with Hermione-uberwitch/plot progressing deus ex machina makes me want to facepalm in particular.

And, for a story that looks like its going to focus at least partially on Dumbledore and how the war is run (i.e. The General) and his relationship with Harry, it seems like R- hasn't quite gotten DDs tone of voice right, with his dialogue seeming a bit off.

Also a somewhat confusing statement where DD says he met Figg in his 2nd year at Hogwarts, which of course she did not go to as a squib.

 

I started reading the General when it came out; it's pretty good. Definitely library material if it keeps on in a similar way, as it's pretty solid, but there's nothing in there (yet) to make me go "wow".

I think your dislike of Hermione has made you ultra-sensitive to any mention of her in a positive light. She's been in a very minor role so far, and the magic she did (with the assistance of Remus Lupin) didn't seem out of character for someone casting NEWT-level magic with relative ease in her 5th year.

The Dumbledore wasn't amazing but there wasn't any moment where I thought "that's not right" in his scene.

Figg was odd, but such a minor detail that I don't care. Either R forgot that she's a Squib or deliberately changed it. Either way I can't see it affecting the plot much.

 

Pretty much this. The only other good story I've read with that divergence point is Renegade Cause, and this has started out better (in stylistic terms, at least).

 

Huh... I don't know whether to be gratified or irked that this story exists. Considering the stark parallels between my own work (divergence begins at the Dementor attack, Ministry arrives early, Harry gets away via some degree of bullshit, Harry's still pissed about the whole event, Dumbledore tells him the prophecy, etc.), I'm really not sure how to feel about this.

Disregarding the whole mess and whether or not any similarities colour my opinion, I'm not sure how I would rate this. Right now, like Taure says, there's not much of a hook - it's good writing, but I can't detect much tension in the story at all, and in all due fairness, I'm not much of a fan of the 'cabinet' device the author has opted to use. But I'll keep an eye on it - could be interesting where it's going.

 

I can't get past the first two scenes.

Why is Harry running? Dudley got Kissed. That's proof right there that Dementors had actually attacked. That's hell of a lot better than a random squib in the neighborhood claiming to have seen them.

It doesn't matter if Harry ran just to be on the safe side, or if he thought the Ministry would be so ruthlessly corrupt that they would eliminate Dudley as evidence, this is too early to be making excuses for such a massive plothole.

And the closet device is fail. Literally appeared out of nowhere. But look at the presentation:

It's done so stylishly it almost makes the closet device acceptable.

 

I didn't mind the thing with the closet, as the platform 9 3/4 business always rubbed me the wrong way anyhow. I get the impression Hermione came up with the idea and Sirius and possibly Remus did more/most of the actual work on it too.

I like it so far, it'd be nice to see the ministry eventually wildly overreact and start some sort of lolzy three way civil war.

 

Yeah, because we've never seen that plot bunny before...

 

I ended up reading the second chapter, and the last part is truly brilliant depending on whether it was done intentionally or not.

The confrontation Harry forced with Dumbledore was something else. Harry was going in all guns blazing and righteousness and wanted to put Dumbledore through the ringer.

Then Dumbledore turns it around and Harry loses control of the situation. There are people in the fandom that like to think they write conversations which are like complex power games wrapped in words - yeah, that's a joke. This is the one of the few times I actually accepted it as legitimate verbal maneuvering, along with Master Slytherin's What Lies Beneath. This Dumbledore was humoring Harry and there was a sense that he had even though it wasn't overtly done.

Look at this:

It's a typically wise Dumbledorean statement, but, man, how callous and sinister is that? How casually does Dumbledore shrug this off? Harry gets his rest, hangs out with his friends, and the fact he just destroyed the Dursley family by not preventing Dudley from being Kissed is rendered null.

 

I've got the same thing going on, before I got my new computer I probably had 10 or so files with 1-5k words of scenes for the odd idea I'd get every now and then.

Still, at least one can contribute to the Plot-Bunny thread right?

 

I found a recent WIP story that I enjoyed a lot and I think it has a lot of potential.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6418267/1/The_Pestle_of_the_Moon
The Pestle of the Moon by Periti
He didn't really want to go to the Deathday party on Halloween. But he did anyways. There, an odd character catches Harry's eye; someone everyone else at Hogwarts seems to dismiss as "Loony"

Adventure/Romance, most likely future Harry/Luna pairing. 30k words right now. New story, 4 chapters posted since the 22nd.

My summary. Starts during year two, and diverges at the Deathday party. I've never seen a divergence there before, but it was well done. The story is extremely well written and I did not catch a single spelling mistake, or grammar (but I am not an expert). The characters are extremely well written and in character.

It is essentially a canon rewrite, but everything is done well and logically. Nothing was changed for just the sole reason of changing or diverging it. Everything fits together nicely. The induction of Luna into Harry's group of friends worked great I feel. There are not too many fics that have Harry meeting her during her first year.

Now there are a few problems, but they are minor. I did skim over one part, and that was the Quidditch match and that is simply because I don't find Quidditch entertaining to read in any fic. Other than that, there was some gratuitous use of the phrase 'Golden Trio', which I am fairly certain is fanon made and not coined on a bunch of fresh second years. I could be wrong about that though. The only other misused phrase was a few mentions of 'warding' when another synonym should have been used. The context is right, but not the timing.

Conclusion; This is what a rewrite should look like. It perfectly summarizes Canon parts that every read already knows, yet expands upon the ideas logically and adds some nice twists that fit in with the story without making it too much of a change for no reason other than changing.

I honestly give this a 5/5. Not everyone is into canon rewrites, but I feel like this one is definitely doing it right. The story is still relatively at the beginning of the plot, and I am looking forward to see the plot diverge farther and farther as the story goes on.

 

I read it, and while I like re-do fics, this one is just boring. Nothing really happens in the story, and, outside of Luna joining Harry and the group, I don't like any of the little changes the author makes to the CoS storyline.

 

Basically, Harry Potter left Britain after killing Voldemort and now, seven years later he is returning with hopes of a political career. He does not exactly have the public opinion on his side though and this story is of him manipulating his way to the top.

A good story so far, just three chapters so far but it shows some promise.
Pairing is Harry/Fleur even though I don't really know how romantic things will be, Harry mostly wants Fleur for the dowry he will receive by marrying her.

 

About House of Shards. It's interesting enough that you wanna see where the writer plans to go with the idea but I can't get warm with Harry's character. A good revenge story needs some kind of emotions you can connect to but he's a cold fish. I also think the Weasley situation is a bit hard to believe why Arthur would even consider working with Harry after the con job. It's stupid and begs for punishment.

 

I liked House of Shards quite a bit, but I agree with Harry being too cold. I'm hoping he warms up, at least a little bit.

 

Agreed, it would be nice if Harry showed some feelings at least.

 

Great story so far, the writing is intriguing, and the political aspect has been done very well thus far, in about two or three chapters this should be ready for the library.

 

Read 'House of Shards'... and very disappointed. I have absolutely no problem with a cold and callous Harry (my latest fic that everyone ignored is stark testament to this), even if he has somewhat unrealistic pureblood standards, and the premise is okay to work with, but technically this story is a mess. The grammar and dialogue structure is terrible, and as for the politics...

In all due honesty, what is shown here is not remotely realistic politics - this is bad 18th-century 'lords & ladies' fantasy dressed up without realism or sense of time (keep in mind this story takes place in 2005-06). The language is painfully dated compared to what we know of the HPverse, with Harry filling a 'Darcy-esque' role admirably. And even from the painfully limited view of HP economics, this fic gets downright silly, particularly near the end of the third chapter.

So sure, while we can all get behind the idea of a cold, callous, anti-progressive and near-racist version of Harry, this story does NOT deserve the library, and I'd be hesitant to show it the Recycling Bin.