Title: Repeated History
Author: Vicious Dice
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Angst
DLP Category: Dark Arts
Pairing: N/A
Status: WIP
Summary: AU. Harry grows up an all together different way, changing his path. Showing that history is destine to repeat itself. Dark!Evil!Harry.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5843988/1/Repeated_History


I found this today after a recent update, and thought I would share it with you all.

It isn't a bad story, and is going in a decent direction (up to now, I think).
The spelling isn't brilliant, but also not terrible.

Some of the sentences, or paragraphs are awkward, or missing words, but it is readable(to me at least).

There are a few inconsistencies that need explaining, like how on his very first, on the train to Hogwarts, he can cast a stupefy.

It does have a few good points though, and I will continue to look for further updates for it.

I think as of now, it is very middle of the road for me, so i will rate it 2.5/5, rounded up to 3/5.

Your opinions?

 

I think there's a thing somewhere that says don't recommend stories unless you think they're at least 4/5 material.

Withholding comments until I've finished reading.

 

First chapter: Harry as a child of 9 has trained "his abilities" so that his wandless/accidental magic does anything he could wish it to. He's capable of doing things some Hogwarts students can't, more frightening and trained and competent than Tom Riddle at 11. Do not want.

Second Chapter: Gives himself some retarded name, performs "tests" on Dudley with impunity, meets a snake who tells him all about wizards and parselmouths. Do not want.

Third chapter and onward. Has "two wands destined for him" because he's ambidextrous. Lolwut? Then continued atrocious bullshit. Do not want.

Writing: Boring, mistake prone and trying way to hard. Do not want.

This story: Do. Not. Want.

1/5

 

This is awful. Why would you recommend something you think is decent at best?

2/5 for being recognizable as English.

 

If you are unsure if a story is good, try putting it here first. But if the story is just the epitome of every awful cliche out there, just keep it to yourself.

 

Why would you post a story in "For review" if you think it's just on the brink of tolerable? Look into the FanfictionDiscussion forum, there you'll find a thread called "Almost recommendable". That's where this fic belongs if you really feel the urge to share it with DLP

edit: ninjaed by @Anarchy

 

If you're not sure put it in the "almost recommended."

 

Cliches and poor planning over-saturate this story.

2/5, at best.

 

1/5

EDIT: Though, it has the ability of being a guilty pleasure fic if the author updates it regualrly.

 

This isn't even good enough to be a guilty pleasure fic.
1/5

 

1/5. If only could write an epic dark!harry story that doesn't fail... I mean Rowling gave the idea already with how Tom Riddle grew up and it's pretty much the same thing with Harry but she wanted to show that somebody who grew up like that could be "good".

EDIT: and what the fuck is up with people writing shit-fics with Hermione being a 'faithful-servant'?

Malificaus.

How is that even said? "Mally--fic--a--us"?

Should be mallydicky smfh.

 

1/5 for Aristotelian cosmology.

And for dreadful everything.

(If "not terrible spelling" is the best compliment you can give, it probably shouldn't be posted.)

 

This was awful. 1/5.

 

Name them, because I certainly couldn't find any. Generally, ridiculously short chapters are an easy tipoff that a story is utter shitte.

 

Is it your story?

You seem to have a certain... attachment to it.

I've seen loads of these fics before and the thing I can honestly say that sets it above the majority of them is the "Harry dosen't get a xxx trunk" but other than that it just seems so... political? Politics in school, at their age, just seem to ruin most fics, plus the fact Hermione has said yes to killing people a couple of hours after meeting Harry... ugh...

0.5/5

 

First chapter.

Very, very short - barely worthy of being called a chapter, in fact, or even a brief interlude, and a chunk of it is taken up with direct quotation from Philosopher's Stone (easily the best bit of the chapter).

Mediocre at best writing.

Changes at random between third and first person.

Cliche Dursley 'conquering'.

Racist!Harry. [Edit for Sesc: maybe not, but random Muggle hating Harry was random and crappily done]

And the crowning glory.

Do. Not. Want.

 

I read all that's been published, but that's because I'm a worthless slut. Nothing about it was good: it was a tired and poorly executed rehash of terrible dark!fanfiction cliches which, in the hands of a talented writer, could be fascinating to explore.

1/5 for the writing, 1/5 for the plot, 1/5 for the characters, and 1/5 for a wholly inappropriate name for both Harry and the fic. At first I expected a guilty pleasure time travel redo fic, which I confess I love, and after reading the summary, I was hoping for Voldemort to be reborn as Harry, which has potential.

But no.

And to round off a full five out of five 1/5 ratings: 1/5 for an incorrect summary.

I assume the author means that Harry's repeating Voldemort's path through life. Wrong. Tom Riddle Junior was a psychopath, not a twat.

OP, thanks for trying to contribute, but if this is the kind of thing you think is good, I suggest you follow Lord Anarchy's advice and test the waters in the Almost Recommended thread before posting something else for review.

 

This made me laugh, for some odd reason.