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WIP Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by headbanger22, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    True. He takes active steps to solve his short term problems, though he ignores the long-term stuff even after it's been shoved in his face.
     
  2. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    The author is a female, so she tends to write Harry's reactions as more exaggerated. In some contexts it does make sense at times, but he still comes off as overly emotional; it's just the way she seems to concentrate on describing what he is feeling, telling rather than showing, that gives it that effect.

    This is fic is good, though it does have it's moments of weakness. I think the world-building she puts into it, as well as original spin on some characters makes it a great read.

    I guess an example is in order then. If you can forgive Harry bursting into tears over having Sirius' fatally wounded, then having that extreme emotion infuse his tears with magical healing properties, then you can probably stomach the weaker points of this fic and enjoy it.
     
  3. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    ... fuck that shit.
     
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It makes sense in the context of the story's system of magic, which is even less logical than canon. It's really not as bad as it sounds, though admittedly it sounds pretty bad.
     
  5. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    No, it really is. It's a stretch of the 'Love Magic' seen in Lily's sacrifice through Harry's blood. Except with tears and love. Also note, Lily sacrificed herself out of love.

    "Merlin, Harry, what are you doing?"


    He wished he had an answer to that, but right now he was working on instinct and instinct required a lack of rationality to work.


    "Trust me. This is the only way."


    And it was working. Unbelievably, it was working. Like a potion, everywhere his tears fell the wounds sizzled and then healed, clean and unscarred. It was too slow, though. Too much blood was lost already, and the tears repaired so little at a time. His own magic was burning away too quickly. It poured out with his tears, a strange form of wandless magic and likewise completely inefficient.


    And the explanation.


    Voldemort snorted. "As you should be well aware, wounds inflicted by werewolves are 'cursed'*. They are much more difficult to heal than normal injuries. Even my best medi-wizards and witches wouldn't be able to heal him in time for the transformation not to kill him."

    "Why not? Your apprentice did some of it. I saw him closing the wound all by himself, and I don't think he had half an idea of what he was doing. You telling me, a true shaman, a full Druid priest*, couldn't do it?"

    The Dark Lord scowled.

    "That's exactly what I'm saying. My apprentice did something I could not possible do. It is a form of the 'Old Magics', a form that I cannot reproduce. It is based in love, a love strong enough to bend the laws of physics and the laws of magic. Blackbone is quite lucky that Harry seems to possess not only enough love to perform this magic, but the blessing of the Goddess to harness that magic to achieve a specific purpose. If Harry hadn't the intuition to use that magic, he might just as easily have killed them both. Or perhaps just you. That sort of magic tends to get vengeful when interrupted."

    So Harry intuitively is a healer, has the blessing of a goddess, and is filled with love. Love strong enough to 'bend the laws of magic.'

    In Canon, love was a motivator for a lot of actions and spells, not usually the fuel behind them.

    So, like I said, a weak moment in the fic, but it serves its purpose plot-wise; it just could have been handled better.

    Also, LOL at Taure's reaction.
     
  6. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Ok so I decided to give this story a go, seeing as how it was nearly a million freaking words long. It's not... bad. I notice the occasional spelling error (Griffindor, for example) but otherwise it's well written.

    But the characters? I don't mind people being gay. As long as Harry isn't, I can probably stomach the story. But what the fuck. Every other fucking male in the story is gay. 18 chapters in and we already met a gay couple who almost adopted Harry, the Weasley twins may or may not be gay and have a hardon for Harry, and Remus and Sirius are butt buddies. There's being accepting of the faggots and portraying a real world in which people ARE gay, and then there's just smacking people in the face with gay people at every fucking turn. So far at least a third (guesstimate) of the males Harry has had any sort of meaningful interaction with in the story have been gay.

    It just distracts from the main plot of the story when yet another gay person is introduced. It made me stop reading and come here to bitch about it. ;-;
     
  7. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Actually, I think it was pointed out somewhere that Sirius and Remus aren't gay - I may be wrong as the story is really long and I'm bound to have missed some details, but that's the impression I got after originally thinking that they were partners.
     
  8. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    @T3T. I'm fairly sure they are gay, although it's certainly been less prominent in later chapters.

    @Sree. Maybe by chapter 18, but for what it's worth I can't remember any other gay characters in the rest of the story. I could be wrong, of course, given the length and sheer number of characters.
     
  9. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Kill me now.
     
  10. cloud91

    cloud91 Fourth Year

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    This story is probably one of the best examples of a fic that you had to be following from pretty early on to enjoy, because while the latest updates have been as good as everyone on here says they are. I'm pretty sure most of us who have been following this for awhile now couldn't go start rereading from the beginning if it and make anywhere close to the latest chapter.

    I really hope that whenever the author finishes this she goes back and reworks the first few books.
     
  11. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Eh... that's not really true. I first read it when it was on chapter 6 of book 6. Admittedly, it gets better as it goes on, especially starting book 5.
     
  12. Lindsey

    Lindsey Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Actually, there is only one confirmed gay couple and that was the gay couple that almost adopted Harry in the beginning.

    Everything else is just what the characters thinks. It's actually pretty realistic, with having the idea that they might be gay but no one knows for sure.

    Harry does not love Voldemort, people just cannot understand the strange relationship they have.

    Remus and Sirius just have a strange relationship. I think she might have made them gay at the beginning then changed her mind.

    I thought the beginning was slightly boring, after like chapter 3 until the Quidditch match but then it improves rapidly. I, too, hope she goes back and rewrites parts of it when she is finished.

    Overall, the good out weighs the bad. The characteristics of almost all characters are amazing and the world she creates is quite epic.
     
  13. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    True. First few chapters are meh, then it improves steadily, and really gets going in the fifth book. Plots starts to come together, Harry becomes a lot more competent (there's a scene in which he uses his blood, IIRC, and animates a whole swarm of killer paper airplanes and kills like huge bunch of wizards, which is amazing). It really shines in portions where the magic system, world-building, and characters come together, like in the invasion sequence of the fic.
     
  14. hchan1

    hchan1 Sixth Year

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    Yeah, there's quite a lot of characterizations that will immediately make the average DLPer run screaming from the fic. Voldie's a confirmed bi as of the latest chapter, Fred/George are either gay or playing it that way for the lulz, and Remus/Sirius have an incredibly weird alpha/sub relationship that is easily mistaken for, well, that, even if it makes sense in the context of their silly werewolf society. There are some truly incredible scenes however, and the Britain the author imagines is brilliant, one that I can imagine an intelligent Voldemort crafting if he wasn't batshit raving insane like he is in canon. Definitely a worthwhile read in my opinion, even with the wince-worthy bits.

    Also, this made me LOL:

    You managed to struggle through a mere 80 chapters before you "couldn't take it anymore"? Enduring countless assaults against your dignity as a reader in the process? I bow before your mental fortitude. I mean, damn, it takes some cajones to stomach 80 motherfucking chapters of a fic you can't stand.
     
  15. Zennith

    Zennith Pebble Wrestler ~ Prestige ~

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    So... you're defending the fact that somehow MAGICAL CORES exist and are something that are so easily exhausted that a person can't even use household magic without being drained?

    Good thing Mrs Weasley didn't do any cooking before she fought with Bellatrix...
     
  16. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That's not the point. The point is that every bit of magical energy counts when your job may require you to be in a prolonged magical battle.
     
  17. hchan1

    hchan1 Sixth Year

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    Get over it. It's the author's interpretation of magic. If you can't stomach a particular interpretation of a murky canon principle in an AU fic then you need to get out of the whole fanfiction thing. What T3t said also applies, although that was so incredibly obvious I didn't think it needed to be pointed out.
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The problem is not that it diverges from canon; the problem is that it's shit.
     
  19. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    If any author comes up with something like this, I'd rather the author not waste time and effort coming up with this boldly retarded interpretation. Let the canon principle remain murky. If it's broken, at the very least, don't make it worse.

    And now there's a 90% probability that there will be some stupid-ass scene where a character is forced to use too much magic, but finds himself ten mana points short in a crucial battle, setting up an Ironic Echo and Heroic Sacrifice.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2011
  20. Palurien

    Palurien Third Year DLP Supporter

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    Looking back I realize I must have been completely bored out of my skull to hang on that long. I think it might be the weekend before I got internet in my new house :rolleyes:
     
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