Title: Luminosity
Author: Alicorn24
Rating: T
Genre: It's listed as Supernatural/Romance, but I'd list it more as General.
Pairing: Bella/Edward
Status: Complete
Summary: Luminosity is an AU reworking of the Twilight story where Bella is a rational self-knowledge junkie. Inspired by "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality". Requires no knowledge of or affection for Twilight canon.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6137139/1/Luminosity

I get the feeling that I'm going to get flamed hard for this one, but I'm going to go out on a limb.

This story was sent my way by a friend and I was wary both due to the fact that it is based on Twilight and was inspired by Methods of Rationality, despite that I decided to give it a go and was pleasantly surprised. The basics, spelling, grammar, etc. are all handled incredibly well, and unlike the source material, purple prose is avoided. More importantly, not too far into the story, the author realizes that her story actually has a plot, and that its more important than trying to teach readers about rationality.

Most of the important part of the plot

Spoiler

which is after Bella becomes a vampire

is focused on Bella trying to effectively make everyone on the planet immortal, which the rulers of the vampire world don't much appreciate.

She has also written a sequel, and is currently putting out weekly one-shots every week that detail back stories of some of the characters.

The main thing that I disliked about the story was that the author maintained the retarded soul bonding/love at first sight thing from the canon, but it is handled pretty well and not to annoyingly.

Overall, I'd rate this at around a 4.5/5, which is probably a full 4 points or so more than any Twilight fic deserves.

 

What the fuck is wrong with you.

You're submitting a Twilight fanfiction based on fucking Methods of Rationality.


I'll look at it, because I don't want to just dismiss something without considering it, but fuck you for putting this up for review.

 

[2:48pm] Sesc: Oh .. oh god
[2:48pm] Sesc: Twilight FF based on Methods of Rationality.
[2:49pm] Sesc: I'm sure somewhere an universe is imploding
[2:49pm] JBlaise: Go fuck yourself
[2:49pm] JBlaise: for even writing those words for the rest of us to read
[2:49pm] JBlaise: Just because your mind was raped didn't mean you had to share

OP has a deathwish. FO' SHO.

 

Death wish, maybe. As I see it, worst case scenario is that this winds up in the Hall of Shame, lulz are had by all, and I return to lurking here and reading and sometimes reviewing good stores. Best case, someone actually likes this and I've managed to contribute to the community.

It is based on Methods of Rationality, and it is annoying as hell at first, but the author tones it down after not too long.

 

I'm afraid to click it....Fuck it, i'm outa here.

 

I gave it a try and it's boring. It's boring because of the style of the writing (which is inspired by MoR), the plot (cliché beginning of a chliché romance), the flat character (first person pov rational!Bella).

1/5

MoR was as boring. Perhaps this is a tad better, perhaps it's way better than Twilight, but that's not excusing this thread.

 

I've read this a while back, and I definitely didn't hate it, but with it being Twilight and the well known MoR flame war that went on here this is probably one of the most hostile audiences you could find for the fic. For anyone who bravely soldiers through the first half or so of the first story, there actually starts to be action eventually, and the sequel is generally more entertaining than the first story (weaponized soul bonds, 3.5 Dnd-esque power countering wars, other hilarious catastrophes). The first person perspective is actually used interestingly at some points, with the various mind controlly effects happening in the sequel sometimes creating unreliable portrayals of the action.

The major downside (aside from being MoR and Twilight of course) is the massive loads of fluff surrounding the interesting bits with the fighting and the power-countering and the backstabs and trickery. Even the sequel gets all laggy and slow towards the end, and the removed perspective of the final battle is a major let down. Had this been trimmed, and perhaps made use of a shifting first person perspective to keep more focus on action, it would've been better.

I'll give it a generous 4/5, if only because it was a Twilight story that didn't provoke the red X and had some interesting ideas in it.

 

I shun you.

SHUNNNNN. SHUNNNNNN. SHUNNNNNNN.

 

The masochist is strong in this one.

 

Like Rhys said, this isn't nearly as terrible as Twilight fanfiction based on MoR sounds. I've never read Twilight, but I actually think that's a point in favor of my objectivity.

That said, there are a few issues with this fic.

Campy rationality in the first half of the first story
Excessive fluff
Lack of emotional investment in the main character (maybe it's just me)

The third one is what made me drop this halfway through the sequel out of boredom. It's otherwise well-written, so 3/5.