I agree with the previous posts, although the punishment was harsh, I didn't think Harry would turn into a a dark man with no heart.

However, keep in mind that Harry is changing gradually, and her true friends feel that something has happened but do not know what. In addition, the plausibly possibility exists that Calypso know what the real reason behind the change of her boyfriend, but she doesn't want to see it because then she would realize that the person responsible is herself. He was punished because he tried to cover her attack on the pretentious guy surnamed Müller.

As to because Karkaroff infringed his word to Dumbledore, we must consider that the incident happened during a banquet at the Great Hall, it was necessary to demonstrate a Karkaroff exemplary punishment in the eyes of others (considering that was because the entry of Harry in Durmstrang that hardened punishment by teachers). However, to keep part of his word to Dumbledore, Karkaroff ordered Ivan Dutov he ordered that the punishment was for lashes, and not by other means [likely to be magical means, such as that suffered by Miss Gabbles/Gomez (what is her real surname?)] much more severe, although Ivan was able to repay himself by using Legilimency during the whipping.

I liked the author has begun the gradual shift from Harry to make a person more gray, and what is manifesting, I foresee that Harry and Calipso will have a big fight because she wants to know the cause of the change in Harry, and he, is on the verge of nerves (though protected by Occlumency), will burst as the true Harry Potter in the fifth book.

 

The scene with the detention was fine, and the change in Harry's behavior wasn't something that big, but exactly that is the problem, in the aftermath of the detention Santy wrote the following scenes somehow stressing too much on that change, hence everyone started doubting that the detention can cause that.

IMO, an addition before, or to, the scene with the duel can help to smooth over the transaction between the nice 13 year old Harry and the quite driven to prove himself, rather insecure kid, that we saw at the end of the posted piece.

 

I think a lot of people are overstating the effect it's had on Harry. His character hasn't done a complete 180 or anything. Yes his behavior has changed enough that's it's noticeable, but the people who notice it are his best friend and a teacher who's studying him all the time. He still maintains his old characteristics and behavior as seen in the later scene with Krum.

Furthermore I think it's absolutely correct that this punishment has such lasting negative consequences. To begin with, Harry, a kid who as far as we can tell has never been physically punished before ever, is immobilized, held down like livestock and then whipped to the extent that his flesh rips off. And he's only 13. That should traumatize him to a degree. Add to that his mind is broken into and perused at will after he's gone to great lengths and pain to ensure that can't happen. For someone as controlled and self-reliant as Harry that's going to mess with you psyche. I think people are underestimating just how important the sanctity of your own mind is to people. It's one of the things that keeps tortured prisoners going, and having that taken away from you can break a person.

Moreover, he sees himself, beaten, defeated and frankly completely crushed.

All of this should absolutely have some affect, whether it's to make him withdraw into himself to a degree or become more aggressive like a wounded animal. For him to shrug it off would be ridiculous.

I also like the fact this his reaction is more subconscious than rational. No matter what conscious decision you make after something like that, it alters to some degree your psyche and how you engage the world.

I don't think that's the change we see in Harry's character at all. He's always been driven to prove himself and somewhat insecure. That's why he left Hogwarts, that's why he didn't like his brother being better than him at the Patronus Charm, that's part of why he doesn't argue with Krum after the cursing Kira incident.

The change in Harry's character is not that he's more driven to prove himself it's that he's more aggressive and more willing to employ previously shunned methods.

 

I'm thinking that the incident with Ivan is the culmination of many small incidents that made him into the character we see in this chapter. Other incidents, starting with his humiliation at Hogwarts, have led him to this point, and I think the incident with Ivan is only the tip of the iceberg as it looks like Rosier and Calypso are going to encourage this "new attitude" of Harry's.

 

It is strange that nobody seems to be concerned with how his parents will take this new turn of attitude when he returns home. I can only imagine from previous chapters on how concerned they are with how little Harry is telling them about what is going on at his school that this noticeable change will not bring about a confrontation.

 

Well it looks like Harry is

Falling to the black

 

I think the detention scene was well written. I am amazed how much thought was put into it. Though even if Harry's reaction and change in attitude afterwards was understandable, as Berkley and Secs has already explained, I still thought that the change from "normal-harry" to "on-edge-harry" was a little jarring. Instead of, or in addition to the countless observation from Calypso and Harry's professors on his change in attitude, a short paragraph on Harry's thoughts after the "torture-scene" would help and improve the transition in my opinion.

I did not think there were any problems concerning Harry receiving corporal punishment. As has already been clearly emphasized in the previous chapters: Harry would rather not have his parents know what is going on at Durmstrang, including any physical damage he may receive, for fear of them pulling him out of the school.

I like how you have slowly weaved Harry's feelings of pride into the story. I like where you are going with it and it will definitely help later in turning Harry dark.

Hopefully, Harry will keep betting money on Victor now that he has been invited to a quidditch match and gone through the trouble of hiding his account from his parents. Also, deciding Harry's animagus form, which has already been discussed to death, is probably one of the hardest thing an author face. Good luck with finding a form that is suitable

 

Right now he seems to be a twitchy/paranoid aggressive. Hopefully there is a transition to a calm/collected aggressive coming soon. Alastor Moody!Harry, no me gusta.

I've seen people after getting an ass beating, and they usually go about it one of two ways. Overly aggressive, or jumpy and meek. Both are waiting to get hit again, but the overly aggressive usually calm down after awhile.

The only bit I disliked was Calypso and her father's scene. She can put one and one together, but that scene just seemed off.

 

I will echo the others who said that I think the change was rushed. Probably The Santi wanted to have Harry's behavior be like that for whatever it is he's planning, and I don't know if it would be possible to make it smoother(though probably it would), but it seems rushed to me. Because Harry did change a lot, and the only reason only his best friends seem to notice is (as stated in-story) because he uses Occlumency to hide it. It wasn't bad, but it kind of irked me.

Also, I'm going to be a wet blanket here and question the probability of Legillimency(spelling?) being used in detention. At least in canon, Legillimency is supposed to be super rare, super hard, and super illegal. So ok, in Santi's story everyone and his dog knows Legillimency, but that's ok, it's a cool skill to have and it makes for interesting plot.
But no matter how lenient Durmstrang is with punishment, injuries and the likes, I don't think Legillimency being used in detentions would just pass, without at least some legal fuss. Unless the dude specifically used it on Harry or something.


tl;dr: That chapter was 5/5 material, and the last scene was all the fucking money. It's great buildup for fourth year and the Tournament. I'm seriously looking forward to reading more.

 

I think most people are overlooking one important fact regarding the oversight on Calypso's part. And that is its safe to assume that Ivan's treatment of Harry was not the norm. From what we saw of the girl's punishment it was simple pain. Sadistic but nothing out of there. For Harry he put him through physical pain beyond anyhitng he has ever experienced, ripped his way through Harry's mental defenses and as a final insult showed him exactly what he looked like. Not a confidant young wizard but a broken, bleeding, crying 13 year old boy.

This punishment is on such a more intense level then what we've seen of the girl's, not to mention Ivan being a major Grindewald supporter. Here he is, being given the boy that not only broke his.. hero's academic record but also someone he's presumably been told he cannot touch for the past two odd years. Ivan obviously has some Harry-issues he needed to work out. And he leapt at this given chance to do so.

Looking at the end of the chapter I think its safe to say Calypso hasn't missed how the change in Harry occurred right around the detention. I just think she, and everyone else, just assumed it was 'just a detention'. Painful for sure, but nothing to get worked up about. I'm looking forward to Harry eventually opening up to Calypso and talking about it. It'll be a great chance to add some depth to their relationship.

 

The only thing I would change in this update would be Harry beginning to ask about the girl in detention.

It may just be me, but after witnessing something that fucking terrifying all that would be going through my mind would be, "shut the fuck up and do not piss this man off."

It's just not a situation that encourages an inquisitive attitude. Personally my heart would have dropped into my stomach and I would be whispering every answer to his questions.

Ivan volunteering the information seems more natural to me.

p.s Edit

I just noticed whilst reading over my post that in the quote you used quickly twice. The sentence flows better without the second one.

 

I strongly disagree to showing Harry's thoughts through the actually transition. I don't mean the legimancy attacks, but his paranoia. By nature, it's not going to be a logical thought process. Whichever way you slice it, on some level he is panicing, and you are not gonna be able to articulate that in any satisfactory manner. While I don't think is is, in general, a good writing practice, showing us his actions only and not his reasons is the best way to go about this transition. No matter what objections people have to this being hasty, I'd garauntee they'd be 10 fold in objections to his actual thoughts in deciding "I think I'm going to close off and be more careful, cause gosh I don't like being mentally attacked like that."

 

I agree with that. As Tenages said, a lot of you seem to be overstating just how much this actually affected Harry. He was humiliated and subjected to pain in a way he has never experienced before (which would only exacerbate the affect on him) so he came away with a desire to make sure he was never put in that position again - hence being more aggressive when he duels and being so wary.

It isn't a huge shift in his personality, and it is one I would deem appropriate considering what the punishment was, Harry's lack of experience with such things and his personality.

The problem may be that it is only part of the chapter, we are likely going to need to see the rest of it and Harry in an environment such as his home to truly see how it has affected him.

 

Yeah. Put another way, I don't think this is supposed to be "the moment" that turns him into a dark wizard. Rather, it's one of the important moments that will start him on the road to hardening the fuck up.

With this Harry's talent it's easy to forget that at his core, he's still a boy who grew up in a loving home, and who hasn't really gone through any major trials. He's soft, in other words. IMO his response to the whipping incident reflects his realization that, at this point in time, he can't genius-talent his way out of every situation. The fact that it involved Legilimency just made it hit harder. He's shaken, and has decided to be more proactive defending himself.

Whatever actually turns Harry "dark" will probably be something that actually attacks some of his precious interpersonal connections - his friends and family, particularly his brother. An apparent betrayal by one of those connections would likely do it as well.

 

Nope. That scene was spot on, but I'm glad that it made you feel a little off. The detention scene and that scene were written in a way that's supposed to give you the impression that something is lacking or incomplete.

 

I think the problem is (for me anyways) that the change in his personality only went in one direction. The darker/more aggressive Harry would actually be pretty believable right after the detention. However, after a few weeks, I feel as though he should've revert back a little to how he was, but not completely. There needed to be ups and downs. After the detention, it was like he just completely shut off his emotions. His thoughts at the end (the part where he was imagining himself over shocked Ravenclaws) only made his character even MORE dark rather than a slight shift back I was hoping for.

I hope that made sense to everyone.

Edit: It seems Santi made a post before me. Oh good, I like his explanation. I was wondering if the scene felt incomplete because of error or if it was on purpose. The latter makes me want to read the next chapter really badly

 

As the Tri-wizard tournament had a pre-arranged age limit it seems unlikely to me that Harry will even be given the chance to go to Hogwarts let alone submit his name to the goblet of fire. But I'm probably missing something.

 

What you are missing is that it's AU world. For all we know, Santi will have Karkaroff going against this arrangement, specifically, because he wants Harry to participate.

 

Or Rosier wants to see how Harry fares in the tournament. He has always been trying to test Harry.