Title: Mortuus_Magica
Author:wiwuno
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: Indipendent Harry
Pairing: Harry/OC Harry/Hermione
Status:WIP
Summary:Mortuus Magica an aincent tome lost to history filled with power long since forgotten. Falling into the hands of a broken young child it will allow him to reshape the world in was no one saw coming. HP/HG/OC GrayHarry.

 

The Dursley abuse at the start quickly ruined this for me. Also-

:facepalm

 

...Tense problems, capitalization problems, punctuation problems... it's just bad, all around.

In no shape, form, or fashion is this good enough for the Library. I wouldn't even almost recommend it. 1/5... you get a point for having multiple chapters.

I've been noticing a lot of sucky authors registering and then posting their stories... don't do it.

 

:facepalm

Autofail: If the author can't convey these things properly, he/she is an idiot.

Grammar: Beyond awful. It's not just a homonym here or there, or even a missed comma. It's everywhere and makes it a chore to read. Posting, "I don't have a beta," is not an excuse; it's laziness.

Content: I just don't have the words.

That says it all right there.

The Library thread is a place to recommend a story that is bordering on the edge of awesome, or at the very least, good. What you're looking for is the Work By Author thread so this can be taken apart piece by piece.

Lurk moar.

 

I just looked at the latest chapter and Harry appears to be a soul reaper. That's special.

Syntax Error/5.

 

Well, I got to Chapter 2 before I groaned and closed the tab. Leaving aside the obvious mistakes, how it is presented feels bland and un-interesting. It goes through everything much too quickly and fails to capture in vivid enough detail for my tastes anything that is going on and what is actually taking place is terribly overdone. This story doesn't breathe new life into the genre and doesn't get to what may be considered "high points" of these types of stories in any way that is particularly memorable. Add to that the partial crossover nature and the fact that it will employ the same things every other "Indy Harry" story does and, based on the first two chapters, not do those well by any means and I believe we can all agree that this story is not worthy of a place in The Library.

1/5

 

Lock and Ban.

 

Just more ammunition for the argument of requiring a minimum number of posts before being able to post a fic in For Review.

 

Why isn't such a rule in use?

 

I want you to post this in WbA, where you'll get more concrit, and less flames.

Edit: Never mind. I read more of it. It's everything I didn't want my fic to become. It's like a bad car crash. You can't look away.

 

Are we being trolled? I've noticed a lot of shitty posts recently, both posting new fics and discussing fics in the WBA (HP&TBWL for example).

The thing is, I can't tell if we are being trolled or if this is just an influx of genuine stupidity.

 

...

/10char

 

Lets just pretend that never happened, shall we? :facepalm

 

I blame Santi.




No, really.

On topic: the best advice I can give you, OP, is to go away and read a lot of non-fanfic literature to improve your grasp of English generally. When you've got a decent grasp of the language, then start writing fics.

 

Ouch. Second paragraph and it only goes downhill from there. Fail/5

 

Is that even possible, piercing bones with forks? Or given enough skill one person could do that(though even then the bones would likely shatter)

 

I think the fork passed between bones, rather than right through them. Not that it even begins to absolve this story of its 'pure fail' status.

 

Honestly I don't even know why people bothered to read it. The summary itself has spelling mistakes. Insta fail.

 

Context clues kept me from even opening this apparent bag of horse shit. If the recc'er wrote the summary him(her)self then I truly wonder if they can comprehend what they're reading. If it was copied and pasted then the author is just turr'ble.

Moving on/5

 

Too many spelling mistakes, inhuman abuse, clichés and shitty spells.

Really????

Please bin it.

Bore/5