My first story that I actually worked on for more than the amount of time it took to type it, that I'm actually posting up on ff.net and on dlp. Basically, the idea came to me randomly when I was working on another oneshot for the awesome tv show Castle.

Let me know what you think. Tell me where you think I went wrong or what could've been done better, and if you're really nice, give me a rating out of /10.

Voldemort's Side of the Story

Cheers.

 

No no no no. I think this is the problem. A lot of newbies seem to be assuming that this is someplace you post your shitty stories, as if it's a ff archive like FFN. It is not.

All stories here are rated to see if they are library-worthy. Y'know the library? Filled with the best fics we can find? Let me put it another way, it's basically where the best wine vendors leave a bottle of their latest to get seen and enjoyed by others, what you've done is tantamount to bringing a bottle of piss for appraisal.

Your Voldemort doesn't even truly count as one, so thoroughly have you butchered his character. He sounds like a fourteen-year-old girl writing her bio for a social networking site. You're trying for the snarky, tongue-in-cheek tone and you're failing.

Take this to the WbA where we can salvage the half-dozen sentences worth keeping, otherwise gtfo of the library.

1/5 (I gave you a one for basic spelling, that and I'm nice).

 

Terrible/10

You followed none of the rules established for posting in For Review and gave us less than a drabble as a One Shot.

No.

 

How can you be a member sinds August 2010 and still fail this badly?

Your format is wrong.
This isn't the place to ask for help for your fic. That's the Work By Author forum.
You've got canon wrong (Marvolo Gaunt killing the Riddles, what?).
You can't even count (20 Death Eathers and 8 students at the DoM?).
Rehasing canon from a whiny Voldemort's viewpoint isn't funny.

I'd say lurk more, but that obviously doesn't work for you. So just stop.

 

First thing :The rules for posting a new Fic were not followed.

There are some Parodies that work and some that don't.This one does not.

I'll be the first to say that after a start like that it took me longer than I care to admit to read it through.Had to take small doses of it.

The style that was followed makes it seem rambling rather than amusing.

Do not want.

 

Troll? Or just retarded?

 

Eh, probably just some 12 year old kid trying to write. And failing:facepalm.

 

This just goes to show, we need to revive the Introductions thread, and maybe devise a probationary period during which members can't post in the for review section. I know a lot of people have already said this in the DLP improvements section, I'm just reiterating.

Onto the story, your Voldemort is out of character:-

Voldemort is a serious badass in canon, so unless this is a crack fic, it sucks TR balls

Rating:- 0/5

 

You should have posted in the WbA sub forum. If you had, someone would have let you know that your story was a bore.

Looks like you were trying to make the Dark Lord a comedian. You failed.