http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg_machine

And yes, the Doylist explanation is that JKR didn't plan what she was doing and wrote herself into a corner. What is the Watsonian explanation? Personally, I don't think a coherent one is possible. The plot is phantasmagorical.

 

As far as romances go, I liked 'Hope' by Jeconais.

 

Jeconais

/10char

 

I almost puked midway threw the 3rd chapter, it's like the guy has a very shitty formula for writing stories (and yet I've still read like 3 of them at work. I blame boredom and a complete lack of workplace efficiency).

Take an older version of Harry Potter (around 20, usually some misunderstood Quidditch star)
Add in an incredible amount of wealth and power, incredibly understanding friends, an obsession with the French, and characters with the EXACT SAME CHARACTERISTICS as in his other stories.
Sprinkle in a Mary-Sue of EPIC proportions (in at least 2 of these stories Harry is like 25 and Gabrielle Delacour is 16 with a "soul-bond"), and a completely archaic view of good and evil (seriously, his stories have good and evil and nothing in between).
And we've got the typical Jeconais story. Seriously, I think he may have started or perpetuated upwards of 60% of the most common cliches in FF over the last 5 years (including Super!Harry, Incredibly Wealthy!Harry, Manipulative!Dumbledore, and my personal favorite: the "cookie cutter" minor character).
Seriously the man may not have invented the wheel but he's made it popular.

On the flip side; you have to admire the guy; his influence has led to a cookie-cutter formula for horrible fan fiction, he is the anti-thesis of this website.

 

Meh, his ideas and content have never been up to standard, but I always thought the... I'm hesitant to say quality, but the non-shit way of writing always made up for his less than stellar imagination.

I enjoy some of the less 'out there' peices that he writes. Just reread Hope recently and I didn't put it down in disgust. Quite enjoyed it actually. The guy can do one thing well, and that's the fluff.

Different from some of my other old 'favorites'.

 

Hope was the first non-H/Hr story I read and loved it...4 years ago. I would probably recommend it to someone trying to get into Harry Potter fanfic. But re-reading it now, the only way I can stomach it is to skip around to different parts.

That said, you read one Jeconais fanfic, you've read them all. Super and overly romantic Harry, Mary-Sue girlfriend, and completely falls apart at the end.

 

Jeconais fics are somewhere in between this thread, the guilty-pleasure thread, recycle bin and library. At the same time.

I actually still enjoy This Means War! as it was my first Super!Harry fic ^^

 

Ow, that hurts.

To be fair, though, that fic was the result of a LiveJournal story-swap, and it got weird in a hurry due to the specific requests of the person I was swapping with. Not one of my better works, well, at all, but I still have a little fondness for it, simply because it shows exactly where I was at when I wrote it years ago.

But on the topic of romances... well, I think romances work well when they're not exactly the integral part of the story. You need a plot besides the romance, which is why Jeconais always loses me. But even still, most fics that only feature romance fail in my regard because the characters are highly idealized in some way, shape, or form (that sinks a lot of modern fiction to, I'd add), and the romance doesn't proceed beyond setpiece moments or with any human development.

Hell, one of the reasons I enjoy writing Harry/Tonks in my main project is that I'm trying really hard to make it not seem like the typical romance. Sure, there is a 'relationship' there, but there needs to be layers and complexity with flawed characters and genuine insecurity and concerns. It's a ship, per se, but it's sure as hell not an idealized romance.

 

That Which Holds The Image by TheAngelsHaveThePhonebox
(Harry Potter faces a boggart that doesn't turn into a Dementor or even Voldemort, but into a horror from his childhood. Now the boggart isn't even a boggart anymore. There's no imitation. That which holds the image of an Angel, becomes itself an Angel.)

I've never seen Doctor Who, and I've never read another fanfic with Doctor Who, but I found this really easy to follow. The Angels were fucking creepy, and the grammar and punctuation was good. It was actually kinda scary (especially if you read it at night in the dark).

As I have no idea what the rest of the HP/Dr.Who crossovers look like, I'm going to be safe and put it in here. If anything, it's definitely worth the hour or so it takes to read. I enjoyed it a lot.

 

It's pretty good actually, I've had it on alert for a couple months. Better then most HP/Doctor crosses out there.

 

Yes it is I'm enjoying it as well, I think the last few chapters have slumped a little but Its still easily one of the best Harry Potter/Doctor Who crossovers

 

I read it at night and in the dark. Now I'm hungry and thirsty.

...Shit.

 

I'm so not sure if I want to give this a try or not. Don't Blink is my favorite Doctor Who episode and the Angels my favorite creature of the series... does it really do them justice? Moffat's writing is after all, top quality stuff...

 

It's pretty well written- it's just not my cup of tea. Angels are my least favorite monster from Dr. Who.

 

They're my least favorite monster for the sole reason of them terrifying the everliving shit out of me. The fic does a decent job at portraying the Angels h2o, I'd highly recommend it.

 

That, and Hogwarts is just better being hunting grounds for something even Harry can't do a God-Damned-Thing about.

I was kinda hoping they all died, but the Golden Trio never just legitimately dies.

There's still more chapters though, so we'll see.

EDIT: I apparently don't know the English language.

 

And Now for Something Completely Different:

I stumbled upon this story while searching through ff.net C2s. It's not an action filled story but a character piece and that's the only reason I didn't post in "For review". The technical writing is perfect, the style is engaging -even poetic in some parts- and the premise is very interesting. This fic has everything I look for in a Child!Harry AU- Harry discovers his magic, but very slowly and without degenerating into "Super!Harry nonsense. The change in the Dursley family is believable and the butterflies from their improved treatment of Harry are plausible and entertaining. There's even some decent humor, mostly in the later chapters. It's slow and it hasn't even reached Harry's seventh birthday yet, but the author makes up for the pace with great insights into the Dursley's psyche and Harry's development.


4.5/5

 

Nice back-handed comment.

But yeah, I'll give the story a chance.

 

It's a curious story. It does get props for attempting to portray the Dursleys as actual characters and not just monstrous automatons.

 

Title: Harry Potter: The Overlord Returns Home
Author: Gwydion669
Pairing: Harry/Harem (Hermione/Luna mainly so far)
Rating: [M]
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7201305/1/Harry_Potter_The_Overlord_Returns_Home
Story Summary: Harry dies. Harry wakes up and becomes the Overlord. After conquering his world, he decides to return home and take care of unfinished business. AU : Evil Harry, not Dark : H/Hr : Harry/Harem : Romance : Twisted/Dark : Hopefully funny


This one was actually quite fun to read.
The writing itself isnt exceptional, but servicable enough.
Cliche wise there the (nearly) everyone betrays Harry and he goes on a bloody revenge main plot.
Some of the high points include an insane Luna, beeing the only one who hasnt betrayed him, recruiting/kidnapping new members for harrys harem (the patils for example are "persuaded" to serve as the two armrests of harrys throne of evil).
The Harry/Hermione relationship however is the crowning achievment of this fic though, beeing completely fucked up.



A short excerpt illustrating that fact:

"I'm sorry, too, Hermione."

"Oh? What about?"

"Lots of things. Becoming a person that you wouldn't have felt sorry about killing … about becoming a monster that the younger me would have sacrificed himself to kill … about the fact that no matter how much I care for you, I'm going to do bad things to you."

"Oh." She fell silent as did he … one wallowing in darkness, blood, and guilt … the other wandering about in a void.

"So … what kind of bad things?" she asked as she continued her rocking motion.

"Well … physical torture to start with. Followed up by rape, more than likely. Then probably back to torture. Probably, I'll just start the traditional 'vicious cycle.'"