Going to lose a game that was 15-3 because our nocturne disconnected every 2 minutes for 15 minutes until a thunderstorm came and knocked out my router for a few minutes.

And I can't even report him for leaving because it won't bring me to post-game stats.

 

The herpaderp Nasus who would ONLY wither Garen and stacked pure Armor without HP or Sheen wouldn't have helped either.

---------- Post automerged at 09:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:30 PM ----------

Teleport/Ignite herpaderp jungle rumble says he's trying to help the team by "foresting and roaming."

Then he bitches about me taking away exp when he's lvl 12 and it's my lane he's trying to take minions from instead of hitting the jungle where all mobs are still alive and untouched.

Complains about me, as a solo top Teemo who has shit on both Yorick, Jungle Olaf, and mid Karthus repeatedly, as the person that doesn't want to help the team.

Rumble has gone and fed every lane at least 1-3 kills by the 15 minute mark and runs around solo trying to farm without ever dropping a ward. I've warded and shroomed the shit out of top river, top brush, and their jungle.

Throughout the game, I've led the entire enemy team, consisting of Ez, Yorick, Olaf, Sona, and Karth, through huge merry chases into the mushroom forest and cut their HP in half before letting my team beat the crap out of them. I've stopped Olaf and Yorick from even being factors in team fights via blind + FMallet + Lane Denial.

I'm the most durable person on my team, draw all enemy aggro, and kite the shit out of them so my Caitlyn and Vlad can kill one by one. I've hauled ass to take baron and dragon from the enemy every time they attempted it and succeeded all the time, shutting down their baron chances the entire game. I soloed baron to get my team the buff when they were all about to revive.

I'm totally not a team player here.

 

It's shit like this that makes me feel bad about my League play. Then again, I'm easily one of the better people that I've played with in the past, so I'd like to play with some DLPers, just to see how I stack up.

 

Every few games you get one guy who acts like a giant, smegma covered penis. Usually it's in ranked although I have had it happen in normals too.

 

Happens to me every three games or so. I've just forced myself to get better to try and make up for them.

Generally I play AP mid though, so it's harder than say carrying from the jungle or as AD carry, or tankydps.

 

Speaking of Tanky DPS, I had a ranked game this afternoon where I carried our team as Poppy and one before that in normals where I carried as GP. Both were, obviously, tanky DPS.

It got to the point where I fountain dove their Ashe and threw up Diplomatic Immunity on the way there. So, I'm pounding on this Ashe, and their fountain turret is drilling into me but doing no damage. Then the game ended.

In the GP game, our Mord started out feeding the enemy team. I'd wager that he was intentionally doing it, because he would constantly go through unwarded routes and he'd go into 1 v 4 fights, expecting to come out on top.

Every one of his kills was stolen from one of us (and I'm not talking heat of the moment stuff here, I mean he throws his ult ontop of this Ryze who was so close to dead I'd have had him with a Parley) or he cleaned up scraps by strolling in after a teamfight happened.

Anyway. I carry the game, mostly because I'm Tanky DPS GP, got my metagolem on, and I'm a force to be reckoned with, when Mord doesn't initiate a teamfight when I'm pushing a lane or defending a turret.

And the best part, Mord claimed he was "hard carrying" when his score at the victory screen was something like 14 and 10, mine was like 10 and 10 with somewhere in the range of 20 assists.

EDIT: Just checked the GP game. 10 kills, 7 deaths, 18 assists.

 

Metagolems are strong because Ad carries don't get Last Whisper. The end.

 

This. Too many AD herpaderps can't punch through armor when they are the ones DESIGNED to take out metagolems and tanks.

 

The TRUE cheesecomp.

Jungle Malphite, Solotop Kennen, Morgana Mid, Galio/GP Bottom.

Kennen and GP can be switched out as needed.

Always win teamfights with eternal lockdown.

Malphite Ult --> Galio/GP Ult ---> Morgana Ult---> Kennen Ult.

 

For additional lulz, switch anyone out for Jarvan.

 

Not cheesy enough.

Alistar can replace Malphite. Basically same thing using WQ as Malph ulting, though smaller range and lower CD. Amumu would also work very nicely as an AOE CC champ.

Solo top would be Wukong. He'll be at an even split with most match-ups and can easily get ahead with super Alistar ganks. His AOE is also pretty much the strongest ever at rank 3 and it has a CC and is pretty low CD.

For mid, Morg works really well. If Veigar can get even slightly farmed, he'll be very nice also. Annie, if you need more early power than late-game and can keep her close enough to burst. Ahri does very dirty amounts of AOE damage. Brand and Viktor can also work.

Bottom would be Varus, whenever he's released, Graves for another AOE and slightly tanky champ, or MF since her ulti is the most damaging. Or Ashe for more CC initaiton lulz.

Finally, there would be Nautilius or Leona. Either would be glorious. Both dish out some nice AOE CC and can lock a person down or range initiate so the other guys can get in.


Ultimate douche team is REALLY douchey, with 4/5 of the team having escape and 2 champs having VERY spammy CCs while using aura tank items.


Also, unlike your team, I'm not hopelessly one-sided on magic damage with only a Tanky DPS single melee acting as the AD.

I've incorporated just about every form of damage and method to raise that damage: Burst Phys, Sustained Phys, Burst Magic, Sustained Magic, Ar Redux, Mres Redux.

All my lanes can go ganking at whim and hopelessly crush most enemies because of their highly varied damage, insane CC, and massive durability on pretty much all champs.

 

So I made a smurf to fuck around and troll a bit, but god damn do I hate people.

Veigar feeds Annie mid, Xin Zhao and Shen lose to Malphite and Gangplank, Miss Fortune vs Miss Fortune failfest top, and enemy Jungle Warwick just wrecks everyone. I tried to support as Lulu and give some advice, ended up doing shit.

Granted, these are a bunch of level 1's, so there's no last hitting, warding or mia calls but that Xin pissed me the fuck off.

"Xin's a horrible offensive hero, his three hit thing doesn't do anything! I only picked Xin because someone took MF! Give me graves and I'll own you 1v1! My main is level 7!"

At least the others had the decency to build the suggested items, he tried to rush PhantomDdancer, ended the game with a Zeal and greaves. Played another game against the same guy, but he gets MF this time and starts off with Brawlers and actually manages to get PD, all the while bitching about his pro Graves. I picked Xin and wrecked his shit for 5 of my 10 kills, but uberShen carried the team something like 25-0-10.

Almost makes me want to solo queue at 1193 elo.

 

I wasn't that retarded at level 1.

No, seriously. The first thing I did after going through tutorials was hit the guides up for free champs in the big guide list on the LoL official forums.

I think I'd actually enjoy smurfing since I'd just crush people for a bit as one of the stronger champs, like Riven.

 

Your first mistake was trying to support.

 

Your first mistake was trying to support.

 

(Assuming no jungler, or no competent jungler)

How the fuck am I supposed to counter Heimerdinger as Lux?

I can't get close enough to attack his turrets cause he just uses stupid fucking Rockets.

I can't get close enough to farm, cause his turrets turn and attack me if I get too near him.

By the time my spells are good enough to kill his level 1 turrets, they're level 5, and I can't do shit to them still.

How do I counter that shit?

I can't play passive and farm, because he just pushes with those stupid fucking turrets.

I've got a similar problem with Vlad. I have no problem bringing him down low enough to ult.. but as soon as I ult he trollpools. Every. Fucking. Time.

I literally cannot kill him if he's smart at all. All he has to do is delay till level 7 and I'm fucked from then on.

I can't bait the trollpool because he saves it for my ult or anything else that might kill him.

I can't get close enough to AA him (for my passive) because he can snap me down to half health with two spells...

By level 9 he can dive me with abandon. Ult ---> Ignite --> Combo ---> Trollpool away from tower so he doesn't die from it's aggro.

Scott free.

 

In short; you can't. As far as Heimerdinger goes, nobody can beat him in a 1 v 1 fight because the turrets zone you too hard. You said no jungler, so your only recourse is to rely on ganks from top or bottom, which aren't going to be coming very effectively if your jungler isn't there or not doing their job.

On Vlad, you have some more options, although this is sort of like saying that you have some more options versus a bobcat as you would against a lion. Regardless, your biggest issue seems to be Sanguine Pool, which is understandable. The only advice I can give on that front is force him into a situation where he has to use it early and free you up for your ult. Use Lux's snare, or the one that works like Gragas' cask. If placed correctly, he's forced to Sanguine Pool to avoid the damage/snare, freeing you up to ult him as he comes out of it, and he definitely won't have the HP to do it again if he's down to the point where your ult will reliably get the kill on him.

 

Plenty of Champions can take Heimer mid... really anybody that can reliably outrange his turrets and kill them faster than his turret generation CD. Honestly, Lux shouldn't really have a big problem here. Same with Morgana, Brand, Gragas(and the list goes on)... various champions with reasonably long ranged aoe attacks and/or powerful ranged single target attacks. If nothing else, if you can sneak a blue(hopefully, a returning side lane is willing to help?), a blue on Lux will help you counter Heimerdinger a lot more than a blue on him will help counter Lux. The real trick is trying to both kill his turrets while harassing him, so your mana isn't being wasted on killing just the respawning turrets. Of course, you have to be killing creeps while all of this is happening too.

As for the Vlad part, as redshell said, just harass until he is forced to pool early. Your range does surpass him as long as you can land your skillshots. One minor point though, the pool costs a percentage of his current HP, so there is never a time where he can't use it if his health is 'too low' and it's off cooldown. It's using it at the start of a fight which is usually the bad idea for him early on.

 

This is probably a sad question, but its really starting to annoy me. How does one deal with tryndamere, assuming I don't have a teemo? He keeps single handedly carrying games against me, and its really getting annoying.