Title: The Pureblood Pretense
Author: murkybluematter
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
Status: Complete, but will have epilogue. Sorry, but the author put it as complete, so...
Library Category: The Alternatives
Pairings: None
Summary: Half-blood Harriett Potter dreamed of going to Hogwarts to study under the greatest Potions Master in England, but in an AU where the school only accepts purebloods, the only way to reach her goal is to switch places with her pureblood cousin—the only problem? Her cousin is a boy.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7613196/1/The_Pureblood_Pretense

This is slightly a crossover with the series, The Song of the Lioness, by Tamora Pierce. However, you need no knowledge of these books to enjoy the story since it only borrows a vague plot from the above mentioned series. Despite of that, you will appreciate the writing more if you have read Alanna: The First Adventure (first book in the series) since the author was simply ingenious in the cooperation of the two fandoms.

As for the actual writing, it's not anything super special, but it's definitely worthy. It is mostly the ideas that makes this story great; you have to admit, this is quite original. I originally didn't want to read it because it's a genderbend, but it's bearable. I was slightly disinterested at the beginning, but that was only the first one or two chapters that were slow. The chapters do drone on for quite a bit, but it's never really boring, the way other people make it.

The author has taken certain liberties like making Pansy blond, but I found it acceptable. I'm not entirely sure, but Snape seems slightly ooc, but I'm not exactly good at seeing that type of stuff.

Also, this is a Slytherin!Harry.

Anyway, overall, I'd rate a 4.5/5

 

I read the first two chapters and they are not as bad as one would expect from the summary. The writing is rather competently done and some of the ideas presented (e.g. Sirius son as a nerd) are fresh. BUT there are some big problems for a DLP audience, like a probable Draco/Fem!Harry pairing and the whole genderbending stuff. I won't rate for now, maybe I'll edit later on.

 

While not top notch, it was certainly quite decent. Perhaps not to the taste of the average DLPer, it is still an interesting fic. Twenty two chapters in and only just at the end of first year, it doesn't drag like you might expect. Tamora Pierce is one of my favourite authors so I may be slightly biased, but I feel this is deserving of a 4/5 rating.

It does go into the Pureblood society angle a bit much at times, but these sections are few and far between and easily skippable. About the only complaint I have is the overdone language of the young characters in such parts, although I suppose it is plausible that children brought up in a pureblood dominated society would speak in such a way.

 

Is this true? It's a deal breaker.

 

Took a quick glance at the Author's favorites, I wouldn't be surprised.

 

The authors favorites are well written stories but, slashy and terrible, so it a draco/harry relationship possible. The relationships with other characters are well balanced (so no obsessing over draco's "Ice gold gaze" or shit like that)
I enjoyed reading this story but I can't really call it fem!harry it's a OC with the name of harry potter. It really is better than than this makes it sound. It is a world where voldemort is fighting through political means and winning. There is in story mention of the possibility of a "marriage law" so the author reads too much fanfiction for her own good, but if she comes up with her own ideas and doesn't read too much shitty fanfiction it will be very good.
currently 4/5
possibility of going downhill.

 

I honestly did not see it that way, although, now that you point it out...
I didn't bother checking her favorites, so I didn't see her preferences, but, like some of you implied, time will tell. I do hope it's not a Draco/fem!Harry; that's just unoriginal.

 

Alright, TL;DR incoming. I figured I would give this story a fair review. For while the subject doesn't particularly interest me, it seems as if the ratings could be derived from speculation of what the story *could* turn into.

So, here goes. Chapter one.

The first chapter A/N threw me off briefly

A quick google search leads me to believe that Harry... Sorry, Harriett(No points for originality) will be a female, disguised as a male. I had to google Alanna because the mention of gender confusion made me briefly wonder if it was transvestite or drag queen Harry.

It isn't, by the way. Anyway, story starts off, pretty poor reasoning for Harriett pretending to be male. Harri(As she's called) wants to go to Hogwarts instead of the "American Institute of Magic". For some reason, Sirius, is sending his kid "Archie" to Hogwarts, while Harri is being sent to America.

Why is not explained, but they decide to pull a Parent trap and switch places, and lie to their parents for the next seven years.

In chapter 2, we learn that the author has the perfectly irritating habit of changing the primary character's name, even in her own thoughts. So now you're reading from the POV of Rigel. Rigel/Harriet/Harri desperately wants to get the attention of Snape, by the way, since the only reason she wants to be at Hogwarts is a fervent love for potions.

A point off for none of the kids acting like children. Irritating.

Yes, these definitely sound like eleven year old children.

Chapter 3 has nothing of note in it.

Chapter 4, we learn that Harri is a stupid bint. Internal monologue of "No wonder all wizards are spoiled, if they get their way by wishing" after she learns that intent is important in casting.

The fuck? Moving on, the rest of the chapter is bland interaction between "Rigel" and other students, primarily Malfoy.

Chapter 5 is not particularly interesting, except for the end where Rigel jumps in front of Malfoy to take a curse. This isn't needed, because Rigel is the only one shitty enough at magic to not know a Shielding charm. Malfoy points this out, thankfully.

This story, if nothing else, is an excellent example of how to write an unlikable main character. I probably will not be able to continue reading this for many more chapters.

Chapter 6, Flint sounds like and acts like a pedophile, calls Rigel "little snakelet" repeatedly, as he explains that he's figured out the secret and blackmails her into doing his homework.

I skimmed the next two chapters, but I could not read any more. The characters are unlikable, the premise is weak, the writing bland.
I realize I am not the target audience, but this is my opinion of the story.

2/5. It's not really bad writing, I didn't notice obvious typos or other errors, but it is probably the least interesting story I have read in the past several weeks.

 

Edit: Not sure why this posted itself twice.

Edit2: Might as well use this space. To the OP: Don't worry about people not liking the story. The stories you put up for review do not reflect poorly on you, for the most part. Many DLP members post stories that are rejected.

 

Oh, well, I really don't care if people decide that this is stupid; it's not like I wrote it (not that I'd care even if I did). I just thought that this was interesting enough, and Harry's character really isn't Mary Sue or shallow, so I found it decent. It also helped that she hasn't shown any prejudices. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and, so far, some people that actually read it do seem to like it.

 

...What in the balls are you talking about, yes it does. If its something with an interesting premise, but just shit execution (Bungle in the Jungle, Amortentia, Undrentide), it doesn't. But when its fuck all retarded? Yes. Yes it does.

That said, in your previous post: Can't really disagree. Fairly accurate. I never made it past chapter 3, though. >_>

 

Ah, I should have phrased that better. You're right, I meant if it has a semblance of quality, it won't. Half decent writing, half decent idea, anything.

If you post a HP/DM/SS orgy with writing so poor that it's almost unbelievable, or anything of that sort, it definitely would reflect poorly on you. I didn't feel as if Silver cat was at risk to do that, but I should have been a lot more clear about what I was trying to say.

 

[yt]hspNaoxzNbs[/yt]​

While you have right right to have your own opinion, of course, I disagree on the basis of this bit alone.

 

Fair enough, haha. I tend to be fairly optimistic, but I am often wrong as a result. I can see your point. lol

 

I am just about to read this but before I begin I just want to say the idea is excellent, regardless of how it actually turns out. I'll post later with a review

Edit-
About 4 paragraphs in and my excitement is already beginning to evaporate. I was hoping for more... actually I can't really name it. Just more.
I still think the idea holds lots of potential.

 

Hmm, I just read through the whole story. I do agree with above posters that beginning chapters are unremarkable, and nothing we haven't seen before. Later on, it delves a lot into magical cores and the likes, which will repulse more people. Nevertheless, the ideas gets better. For those wondering, there's no signs of Draco/fem Harry or really any romantic feelings at all.

Spoiler

Magical diseases that causes almost everyone from first to third year to collapse, possibly induced due to Riddle. Strong character development due to this, and Harriet's role.

I rate 3.5/5.