Okay, I decided that since I was really fucking bored of job hunting, I would read through all of Alexandra Quick and review each chapter. Why do it with this series? Well, let's just say that I wanted to know I'd have something to bitch about pretty consistently.

So I finished the first book last night, and I will say this: Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle is okay at best and really not very good at worst. At best it's a 3/5 story, but frankly, I'd mark it down because of all of the things that piss me off about it.

The big issue I had with the first story is that, well, it's really rather thin. It becomes very obvious that

Spoiler

Abraham Thorn is Alex's father

very early on, and the fact that Inverarity stretches that plot over half the story is very frustrating. There's really not much in the way of subplots other extraneous murder attempts triggered by a primary antagonist whose motivations don't make a lot of sense when thought about for longer than ten minutes.

The fact that the antagonist becomes the most likeable character in the entire goddamn story despite authorial intent to sympathize with Alex is a real problem - because, frankly, I can't sympathize with Alex or Dean Grimm in any capacity. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - Alex's fearless stubbornness and massive arrogance, regardless of her friends or common sense, makes it very hard to root for her in any capacity. The fact that she exploits the hell out of her friendships with both Anna and the house elves is really unpleasant to read. It's a real shame that we have to view the world through Alex's lens, namely because there are better characters that I'd rather follow, like David and Anna and the main antagonist of the story.

Dean Grimm, if possible, is an impressive character if only because it takes some skill to write such an incredibly hateable human being. My first impressions were that she was a Terminator crossed with Dolores Umbridge and a massive insecurity complex, and she only grew more repulsive from there. I hate that she feels that human transfiguration, public humiliation, and punishing Alex's friends are the only ways necessary to punish Alex, and I'm a little horrified she seems to get off on it.

She's also the most frequent obstacle to Alex's progress and her continuous lies serve absolutely no purpose in the grand scheme of things other than to stretch out the plot. I remember having problems when Dumbledore hid information from Harry in Order of the Phoenix, but at least he had a reason! Here, Grimm has no good reason to hide information, and you can't buy whatever half-hearted rationale she provides because you know she's completely untrustworthy.

There are also some major plotholes, like how the main antagonist could have possibly been powerful enough to rig up some of those traps and still work in his position, or why he didn't try to befriend Alex with knowledge about her father so that

Spoiler

the Thorn Circle information - that Alex couldn't possibly have known about couldn't have fallen into the wrong hands

. Or, on that note, why Grimm didn't just tell Alex about her father from the beginning and save us all the time, but I am inclined to be forgiving here, simply because this was Inverarity's first story, and I expect some bumps as things get started.

As it is, the biggest problems with the first story are an unlikeable main protagonist (I would be remiss to say she does get better - although not by much), a very thin and stretched story that could be resolved far sooner for no good reasons otherwise, the main antagonist being the most likeable of the entire cast, and overall, a rather confused pay-off to any themes. I think Inverarity was trying to deliver a digression on minority rights through ASPEW, but that subplot thread gets dropped by the finale and never picked up again. The main moral thread seems to have something to do with the fact there's no heroes on either side and that seeking peace through utilitarian means is bad

Spoiler

(at least that's what I think, given the demonization of Journey when he tries to kill Alex)

but it's muddled and lacks a certain degree of poignancy when Alex uses analogous means to accomplish her goals.

However, and I will defend this, there are some things Inverarity does get right. His dialogue is reasonably good, and there's good banter. Despite repeated steps backwards, Alex does grow a bit, which I guess is progress. There are some good characters that I find interesting to read about, and I actually really liked the subplot with ASPEW and Alex's conflicted feelings about it - it's a more nuanced take than you normally see. And I really can't speak highly enough about his world-building - he makes Wizarding America interesting and pretty damn magical at points (although most of the attempts he makes at satire are way too thudding and obvious to be considered all that clever).

Overall, if I'm going to be honest, I find it really hard to give this story anything higher than a 2/5, because if a story pisses me off as much as this one did on such very basic things, like having a tolerable main protagonist and having such a drawn-out plot with a really bad ending, all the world-building in the damn universe isn't going to help matters. It also doesn't help the hook of the story isn't very good, and it's hard to get into it. But I will say there is promise here as well, because there is some raw talent here and interesting ideas and characters here that I want to see explored.

So, onwards into the Lands Below... no idea about what happens here, other than that a new, apparently likeable character dies at the end (yeah, that was spoiled for me). I sincerely hope this doesn't become a motif in some way. Apparently, this story is significantly better than the first, so I'm cautiously optimistic, but dreading the inevitable plotline screeching to a halt because Alex grabs the Idiot Ball or Dean Grimm feels the need to lie about everything again.

 

I look forward to another batch of review alerts going: "Fucking Dean Grimm goddamn fucking bitch fuckity fuck..."

I think my writing has gotten stronger since book one, but to be honest, the later books probably won't piss you off any less. I am glad to provide entertainment one way or the other, though.

 

I'm sorry Silens, I like most of your stories, but you bitching about someone else having an unlikeable protagonist is extremely ironic.

 

There's a big difference between having an unlikeable protagonist and a variety of likeable characters that also have visible POVs and an unlikeable protagonist who is the only person to which we view the setting. As much as Alex is told she does things that are unlikeable by her friends, we never see their thoughts or reflections on the matter. And since Alex is always infernally convinced of her own rightness, we're stuck with it.

I will say this, being halfway through Lands Below,that she is getting a bit better.

 

Just a correction - You refer to Inverarity as 'her', when he is male. A interesting review, all in all. I don't agree with it all, but I will agree that the plot wasn't a really good hook. Then again, I don't think it was supposed to be - what drew me in was the idea of Wizarding America. As for Alexandra being an unlikeable protagonist - to each his own. I didn't find her likeable at first, but she was at least tolerable, and got better as she grew up. In any case, I preferred her aggression to Harry Potter's being rather pitiable (as I see it, of course).

 

You know, I think Inverarity is trying to steal Shezza's position as DLPs resident internet trap. It's really you're fault dude, for writing such a well characterized female protagonist. Everyone is going to assume you're a 'she'. You should have made it more clear that you were male with a more blatant username. Instead of Inverarity, maybe "Bruce", or "Testosterone", or just be simple and call yourself "Man".

Anyway, this week for me can pretty much be summarized for me as involving two activities - work, and reading the Alexander Quick series. Actually, scratch the work part, because all I did was sneakily read it on my phone all day. I was up until 04:30 Thursday night and had to be up at 06:30...Inverarity's fault again.

So like everyone else here, I was a bit hesitant to start reading this fic. I actually quite enjoy a lot of fics with OC main characters (as rare as it is to find a decent one), and I have this thing for girl protagonists, but fanfiction has made me lazy. I didn't want to read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone again. I've gotten too used to reading about characters who are already badass by book 1 and don't have to trudge through so much content before they get to that point.

But I did eventually start it after a year of putting it off. And holy shit. I'm probably still in post-reading hype, but I'm looking forward to book 5 more than anything else - the upcoming Dresden book, the upcoming WoT book, the upcoming ASoFaI book. And yes, I'm comparing it to original fiction. Not just because it has very little to do with Harry Potter, but because it's WRITTEN like original fiction - both quality, pacing and the way the setting, characters and history have to be introduced from scratch.

I found this series to be like a cross between Harry Potter, Dresden Files and some standard piece of fiction we probably covered in school about the issues a girl might go through growing up. I loved the way it covered so many themes. I found some of the lower key scenes relating to character interactions, and drama to be just as climatic and interesting as some of the epic action scenes.

Despite a lot of the dislike Alex seemed to get at the start, I actually liked her. She had issues, and fairly blatant ones. She was unreasonable, rude and silly at times. And yet, I still found myself on her side. She was strongly opinionated, she was fearless and proactive. Those positive qualities helped.

I think what really makes her interesting is that despite the fact the story is largely told from her point of view, you're never really meant to feel her negative actions or attitudes at the times are right. I really get pissed in fiction where you have an overly angsty main character you're meant to feel sorry for. Or a dickhead protagonist who's portrayed as being justified. Instead, Alexandra's actions, arrogance and lack of respect almost always lead to negative repercussions. There's real consequences, and it causes her and her friends serious issues. And THAT'S where flawed main characters become very interesting.

The other thing is that she is female. A girl can get away acting like that without me getting as annoyed. If Alex was a male protagonist, I'd get way more annoyed. It's funny that I can deal with it in fiction, but in real life those character traits annoy me a hellova lot more in girls.

<spoiler ahead. But I don't think I'm gonna put all that in spoiler tags, since everyone else seems to be talking about most of them openly>

Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle:

I think one issue I did have was that this book lost a lot of the magical atmosphere we see when Harry first gets introduced to the wizarding world. I know Alexandra is a bit cynical and arrogant, but even so her first steps into magical America were kinda dull and standard. It could've been better - a bit more of that awe, amazement and wonder. That is not to say the world building wasn't good. It was amazing. But I think everyone has agreed on this point so I won't talk anymore about it.

We're introduced pretty quickly to some of the friends she will have over her school years. And then just as quickly as they come, and we think we're seeing a new Golden Trio begin to form, David runs off to ASPEW and everyone except Anna seem to disappear from the plot until the 4th book. I was initially a bit peeved about this. But then I realized apart from Anna, those characters were pretty boring, so good riddance. Plus, it made Alexandra more of a Dresden-like character - the lone hero who wants to do everything herself, and only later begins to trust her friends. It's really adds to the charm of her character, and this series. Way cooler than another "Golden Trio" forming.

As for the Alex being Abraham Thorn's daughter. I love that plot idea. I actually had an idea a while back about something similar (except about Harry Potter's daughter living in a world where her Dad is a fugitive). To make her story interesting, we need a reason why and having her as the surviving victim of another Dark Lord would've been boring.

As for the plot, in isolation this book was alright. Interesting, well written, but also something I'll judge against other original fiction. And alone, it stands as a 3/5 or so. But really, it's part of a series. It was the introduction to the characters, to the world and a murder plot to start it off. Can't start too epic, can we?

Alexandra Quick and the Lands Below:
Speaking of epic. What the fuck. The first book was interesting and enjoyable to read to. The second one utterly blew me the fuck away.

Putting aside the obviousness of how well built up Max was as a character, how good his interactions with Alexandra were and how well his death fit in with the plot (And god was it sad. One of the most depressing character deaths I ever read), there were many other things I loved about this fic.

One such amazing plot point was every scene relating to her meeting the more of her family. I initially didn't like the idea of Alex having siblings. I kind of liked her being the lone child of the Enemy of the State. But after seeing the rest of her family, and their role in the series I realized it was way more interesting for her to have this big family of siblings. I love Julia. Seriously. I want her to be my sister.

The way Abraham Thorn fits into the picture was cool too. He visits his kids regularly, the WJD KNOWS that he does and routinely interrogate his kids about said meetings - in which the Thorn children are surprisingly honest. They're shown as somewhat authoritarian, and yet don't go into the stereotype of directly trying to use or arrest the Thorn children for maintaining contact. It's like this interesting dynamic of cat and mouse where the children seem to be left unharmed.

I like the way, in typical Alexandra Quick fashion, she ignores all warnings about dark magic, and goes to check out the Mors Mortis Society. If this were a typical fanfic, they would be a bunch of misunderstood academics who are repressed by the evil dystopian government. But its not. And they're twisted douchebags.

Then of course there's the segment of the Land Below. A completely original, and amazing piece of the world that's been added. Once again, taking a Dresden analogy, it reminded me somewhat of Nevernever, with the Generous Ones being a more pathetic substitute for the faeries/sidhe.

I loved it when Abraham stole his daughter's memories, and while I cringe and hate it when people get memory wiped, I don't think her father should have been the one to return her memories so conveniently. It was great for his character to show that while he seems to genuinely care about his kids, his war is still first. I think her getting her memories back, maybe by using the boon her father owed, would have been a good thing to leave until somewhere in the third book. Still, his little terrorist attack on the Wizardrail kinda made a good substitution for showing his character anyway.

This book was a huge climax to the series with an easy 5/5 and one of the best things I've ever read. I was tempted to go back and reread it before even starting on Book 3. I've never had that happen before. And I'm some what worried that the climax to the whole series won't be able to top this.

Alexandra Quick and the Deathly Regiment:

So the first half of this book kind of annoyed me. Yes, I understood the role Alexandra's obsession over Max's death played in terms of the plot, but for the first time since I started I really started to dislike her, and reading about her. She barely knew him for half a year, and yet she acted even more angsty when the Kings held more strongly. Yes, I know she's only 13 and wouldn't necessarily be expected to have the maturity to be thinking of other people in her grief, but she should be the one focused on comforting Julia and not the other way around.

I think the things that got me through that half was the fact that I knew it was building up to something. That and the fact Alexandra did have some level of realization that what she was doing was twisted, selfish and unfair. Realizations that she promptly buried and ignored. But once again, as a reader I think we're meant to feel annoyed, and a bit disturbed, instead of sympathetic.

About halfway through, when Alexandra betrays Valeria's trust to steal the Time Turner. As a reader you feel somewhat pissed off at her actions, but it also regained some of the declining interest in the story. Somewhat of a mini-climax and turning point. I was hoping for a bit more anger on Julia's part. That girl is way too understanding for someone who just lost her brother.

One of my favorite scenes in this book is actually when the Kings come over and reveal what Alex went through to Claudia. I always found Alex's relationship to Claudia and Archie to be one of the interesting things in the series.

I was a bit annoyed that after all that she still hangs onto this idea that she can bring her brother back. But this plot point builds up to the end, so it was worth it. You spend the whole fic wondering whether Alex is just being a bitch to Darla, or whether it's justified and Darla is evil, and you get the answer in the end, only to be turned around again and shown the reasoning why Darla was like that - for Mary.

I have to say, if you were gonna feature Harry Potter in this fic, those scenes relating to the Lands Beyond, Death and references to the Master of Death would've been the perfect place to put him.

The climax of this fic completely made up for the fact the rest of the book annoyed me. The revelations on the Deathly Regiment sent shivers down my spine. Her 7 years to live deal puts such an interesting thing over her head and the way she would live the rest of her (short) life.

Overall this fic scored a 4.5/5 for me. Yes, the first half had me feeling annoyed. But really it was a build up to the line:

Which made it all worth it and so impactful.

Alexandra Quick and the Stars Above:

Okay, I actually had the most issues with this one. Pretty much all around the Alexandra Committee. She's not Harry. She doesn't confide in her friends so willingly. Anna? Maybe. The rest of them? I just can't see that. Yes, she seemed to have matured a lot, but even so I don't think she'd tell them about that. Maybe about the Deathly Regiment, but not about her deal with the Generous Ones.

Moreover, I think you lost a perfectly good scene. If Alex's secret about her life expectancy had come about without her consent, it could have been an amazing turning point. An appropriately dramatic scene and all. Instead we get a rather dull scene of her simply telling them.

The final thing is her friends themselves. Anna is great, but the rest - David, Forbearance, and Constance - are good as side characters, but that's about it. Hell, I think this book I enjoyed reading more about Alex's interactions with Brian more than I did anything to do with the Alexandra Committee. In the end, apart from the Stars Above ritual they seemed to start losing importance later in the story anyway.

I also disliked the idea of the Stars Above, and the Prophecy. The story has enough going for it. Alex doesn't need things like that to try to make her importance that much more. She's the daughter of Abraham Thorn, she's the person who knows about the Deathly Regiment and is not under Oath, she's the only person to have come back from the Lands Beyond, etc etc. Does she really need a prophecy too? Adding things like that I feel just cheapen all the other things. I'm sure there could have been another way to reason John's obsession with her.

What I did absolutely love was what Claudia's real relationship to Alex was. This was a plot point I enjoyed just as much as Max's death. It completely surprised me, and yet now that I look back, it made so much sense. And I just love the idea. It's such a weird situation, and such an interesting one too. As mentioned above, this is an example of a more relationship plot point that holds as much interest as the more action/adventure storyline parts.

What I really DIDN'T like was that her mother is a cat. I will try not to judge it too much at this stage, since a lot of the other things I was a bit skeptical at turned into really good plot points, but I think making her the semi-unwanted child of Diana would have been a lot more interesting. The obsession with memory alchemy seems to just be a repeat of 3rd year and wanting to bring Max back to life. But I'll see where it goes. Though I'm almost tempted to take a shot and say the cat isn't actually Hecate - I can't help but notice Abraham's bodyguard Medea started appearing at their meetings just after the revelation of Claudia came about.

i liked the more generic slice of life in terms of her romantic interests. I never thought I'd say that. But it's kinda nice to see her awkward first boyfriend with Payton. Then her somewhat more mature relationship with Torvald, and how that ended. I'm totally shipping AnnaAlex, but I also do agree that one of the nice things about this story is its not overly romancey like many fics. She's a 14 year old girl. No one has ultra close relationships at that stage (even though little girls like to pretend to). But I will be very happy if the series ends with AnnaAlex. =P

The Indian territories were a great little adventure. Another completely different aspect of the world that's been created that has its own little charm. Alex is becoming awesomely badass very quickly, and it makes a lot of sense. Not just her experience, but her experience in JORC, her own practice and her training with Max.

The fact she was expelled was great. We'll get a nice change of scene, and it would have been ridiculous if after everything she has done, she still managed to stay at Charmbridge. I have no idea what to expect from the next book, but looking forward to it.

It was hard to rate this one, since it had some things that really annoyed me, and some things that I absolutely loved. I guess I'll give it a 4-4.5 too?


tl;dr - (And yes, this was way too fucking long. I'm wasting my own time and everyone's elses. Oh well.), I loved the series. It's comparable to many really good series that I love. As a fanfic? This is an easy 5/5 and one of the top fics in the fandom. I wish it'd get more recognition. Then we might even get Alexandra Quick fanfiction! =P

Now to invent cryogenic sleep, so I can put myself to bed and wake up when the next book comes out...


Edit: Forgot to mention. I like the idea introduced in JORC that duels are short, lasting a few seconds. People being amazed when a duel lasts more than 10 seconds. Makes a lot of sense if you really think about how people would fight. Apart from people on Voldemort or Dumbledore's level, being fast enough to attack, counter and defend appropriately and consistently for longer would be hard.

 

This line interested me in the name Medea. I don't remember when she introduced herself, so I couldn't look it up and check whether that was just a nickname or something(outside the school?), but I googled Medea and got this;

I know it seems like an easy guess, but maybe Medea is someone else who Thorn put all of Hecate's memories into? It would be a smart idea, at the time; being chased by law enforcement, just ditch your body and come back later in a new one. Might even be another daughter of Thorn, but I think that'd be a stretch. We know Thorn at least knows basics of memory magic, otherwise he wouldn't screw around with Alexandra's earlier on, and from there it's not impossible that he'd studied ahead for just such a plan. Probably just another wild guess to add to the list, though.

 

It seems a fairly safe bet that Medea has some link with Hecate. I think Inverarity used names before to give hints about revelations. I don't think I would like it if Medea turned out to be (or has the memories of) Hecate unless there is a very good reason why Medea turned up only now.

But I'm afraid we'll have to wait quite some time for an answer about Medea.

 

Nobody reads Thomas Pynchon. Sigh.

Thanks for the long review(s), and as always, all the comments and criticisms are appreciated.

It's a good thing I don't write by trying to anticipate what readers will like or dislike. I get about 50/50 who love/hate Alexandra for being headstrong and arrogant, who think Anna is the most interesting secondary character or the most boring one, who think this or that plot twist was brilliant or lame, etc.

A lot of people don't like "My mother is a cat!" though. Oh well. I knew I'd get some WTF?s for that.

I can only hope my actual Cunning Plans will live up to the elaborate theories some of you have come up with.

Thanks again.

 

Just a minor heads up.

Inverarity has posted his own review of the first book.

Link if anyone is interested.

http://inverarity.livejournal.com/151761.html#cutid1

 

Not a review, really, but author's notes as I reread the whole series (which I haven't actually done in some time and figured I should do before I start writing book five).

The above link isn't actually the first entry: you can see all posts in the series by clicking the aq reread tag.

 

These stories are awesome! I know they count as fanfiction because they're fanfiction based in the Harry Potter Universe but they're so original! I know some people don't like them because they don't have Harry in them but you should seriously know that going into them because it's pretty obvious that it's about another main character in another country at another school in another time period even if it's pretty close to the time that Harry Potter took place. To not like it because of that is like deciding you don't like The Shining (Stephen King wrote that) when you hate horror of all kinds because then why did you read it!

But really these are neat. I bet it's better practice than normal for writing original fiction because even though you're playing in someone elses sandbox and using some of their setting and worldbuilding you're having to come up with a lot more original stuff than you would be if you were writing Harry at Hogwarts and whatnot.

Oh and crows are super awesome. Go Charlie! I always want to give him chocolate.

I'm looking forward to the next installment!

 

I've only read a portion of the first book so far, so take this with a grain of salt.

What surprises me most, however, are the vitriolic "reviews" on the very first few page of this thread - condemning a fic before even reading it. I expected better of DLP members. I'm going to go on a rant for a bit:

When a fic is in "The Alternates", or when it's clear that the fic does not intend to follow any semblance of canon, either you stop reading it (just as you would stop reading a slash story, if you're not into that), or you realize that the fic is clearly intending to be an entirely original work in the Harry Potter universe.

But giving it a 2/5 based off of the premise alone, or reading four paragraphs and not liking the setting? That's just bad character. That says nothing about how well the author writes, it's just you imposing your preference on the author, and lambasting them because the fic doesn't fit perfectly within your preferences. It's not a legitimate "review" by any means. It doesn't reflect on the quality of the writing, plot, or character development. It merely reflects your own inability to separate your preferences from objective analysis.

I make a few concessions:

• I just realized how old the reviews are; so
• The fic might have not been in "The Alternates"; or "The Alternates" might not have even existed, or
• the reviews might have been in jest - I have a terrible sense of humor; or,
• any other changes due to passage of time might have occured improved the quality of the fic

Regardless, we should remove useless "reviews" when we see them.

/end rant


My (preliminary) impressions?

The quality of writing this fic has is beyond anything I have ever seen. To be honest, it exceeds most of the stuff we have in the library. The author conveys the universe in a very tangible way - you can almost feel and smell and taste the world Alex is in. And the writing itself is far beyond what is expected of fanfic - it reads like a published novel.

The characters themselves are refreshing, to say the least. The kids don't act like mature adults from 19th century nobility (and that's a good thing). The author manages to convey the irrationality and curious nature of the children - something I've rarely seen in the HP universe since canon. I think this will leave room for ample character development, and allows for great contrast right now (for example - comparing Alex to Ms. Grimm).

So far, on setting, writing, and characters alone, the fic is a solid 4/5, and it'll probably go up if the plot is any good.

 

Sad that this thread bump was not due to book five being posted but the bump inspired me to wander over to Inverarity's live journal where he claims.

Which made me happy.

I think the review/rating issue has been beaten to death and the combined thread is firmly in the library. I do wish that most of the negative reviews weren't concentrated on the first two pages with the glowingly positive ones buried deep in the thread where a potential reader likely will never see them.

Anyway. Inverarity, I know you check this thread. Hope you find your AQ muse again. Your loyal readers haven't gone anywhere.

 

I have no problem with the wait either I didn't with the previous ones. Just reassuring to see that it's not dead because this wait has been longer than any of the others. I also realize I've forgot a lot the story and so when Inverarity does finally finish five I'll have to set aside a week to binge re read the first 4.

 

Inverarity is apparently writing again, so there may yet be hope for book five.

 

https://inverarity.livejournal.com/339000.html

Inappropriate bump or not, apparently Inverarity has finished his first draft of Alexandra Quick and the World Away.