The Traveller soon caught Christmas.

Christmas was cancelled in her first battle.

Fucccccccccccking bad streak lately. Better turn it around before fighting Candice or it's just going to get worse and The Traveller will start to lose more than untapped potential, but the stalwarts friends The Traveller has. Gods dammit.

--o--

Promise I'll stop posting after every twenty minutes guys, but the irony of Christmas and Phoebe's deaths in like their first battles makes my brain hurt lol. Watch this space for more irony and horror, only on the SyFy Channel!

 

Traveller's Log.

The Traveller is not prone to dramatic statements to draw attention to the start of each log for cheap ploys, but this may be The Traveller's last log entry. It's been a long hard road, and, well, all roads end. The Traveller's not immune to death - being slayed by Ashaya comes to The Traveller's mind more than once - but it would feel especially difficult to die with this team of creatures/friends and in this fashion.

The Traveller is about to challenge The Elite Four of Sinnoh, and beyond them, the Champion Cynthia. The Traveller is not positive of The Traveller's chances of coming out of this unfazed. So much death, so much blood, just to get this far. All the previous deaths have been recorded, but there were more after Phoebe and Christmas.

But first, to the victories along the way: Candice fell to teamwork, Team Galactic and Cyrus to a combination of Vee and Copper, the great legendary beast Giratina to Stormy, Volkner to Vee, and The Traveller's rival Barry to the newest addition to the team, a Togekiss named Serenity, trained from a hatched Togepi for many months and taught the vital technique of FLAMETHROWER. There were too many close calls to count in the midst of those victories, and more deaths than necessary. Hardly any catches either, due to Snovers appearing in two more locations and Gravelers and Tentacruels being the only other options, and The Traveller could not break the law against catching more than one Pokemon of one type, even after losing one.

After Christmas, the first to fall was Blindy the Zubat, a handy mainstay caught months earlier and who had served as a handy Fly and Defogging machine. She was killed in a heroic sacrifice to save Cop in battle, and The Traveller cannot thank her enough for that. She was probably the only good death of the next six.

Yes, six.

The first, and the most tragic, was Sir Ricket the Kricketune. The hardy little bugger had been the third Pokemon The Traveller had ever called a friend, and had been raised for a long time to become a powerhouse with many powerful attacks. He helped so many times along the way and dodged death like The Traveller dodges taxes, but it wasn't enough in the end. He didn't die in glorious battle against a horde of Legendary Pokemon, but to a fucking Magneton with a critically hitting Thunderbolt attack, an instant killing attack that hurt The Traveller just as much as anything had ever done. The worst part of all was... it was just before The Traveller would face Volkner; Sir Ricket died against the last trainer before the gym battle. Sir Ricket would've been vital in that battle and in the battles to come, but was senselessly killed before his time.

The Traveller fought Volkner through heavy grief, and would not have survived if not for Vee.

Afterwards, looking to replace the hole left by Rickety's death, two new Pokemon were caught - a Magikarp nicknamed Wrassler in Sunyshore City, and a Pelipper nicknamed Swallows out on Route 223. The Traveller intended to do the impossible with Wrassler and make a weak fish into a monster, but the first battle after Wrassler evolved was against a Graveler, and well, Gravelers have Selfdestruct. Swallows was around almost years in comparison, being trained alongside Serenity until a Porygon-Z's Thunderbolt clipped his wings forever.

And the other deaths? April the Wooper, caught all the way back in Pastoria's Great Marsh, was brought out to be trained up... and died to a Rhydon's Horn Drill. The Traveller fretted over the fact all that was left to train were water Pokemon, but soon accidentally remembered that Renly the Pikachu and Belle the Rhyhorn were left in Solaceon Daycare (They also made many eggs in the process. The Traveller wonders if Renly was misnamed for some reason). They were withdrawn, trained up a little... but then a critical Earthquake killed Belle and a Tentacruel's Poison Jab killed Renly. All of those last five deaths happened within a few hours of each other, it felt like. Almost like one sitting.

But The Traveller has digressed. What's left? Stormy the Empoleon, Copper the Bronzong, Vee the Jolteon and Serenity the Togekiss. All powerful creatures in their own right, but The Traveller has been stupid before. The Traveller has been surprised before. The Traveller has been cursed by these Nuzlocke Gods, and... what will come next might just be the end of everything. If this team dies, The Traveller knows that The Traveller will die too. The other slots in the team are filled with sacrifices - there is no use training up either a Psyduck, a Marril, a Shellos or a Tentacool when they would be so cruelly taken away in the process or when The Traveller would dare to hope... No. They won't be serving in the main team, on The Traveller's own head be it.

If that is how that will be, then so be it. This world has left The Traveller bitter and bloodied. It must be ended sooner rather than later. If there are no more entries in this log, it did not end well. The Traveller might return one day, in another form and world and another set of logs, but more than likely... The battles will turn sour, blood will be called for, and the Nuzlocke Gods will get more than just The Traveller's Pokemon, but The Traveller The Traveller's self.

In the wise words of someone somewhere many times over history, The Traveller says bring it the fuck on.

Traveller out.

--o

Stormy, Vee and Seren are Level 54, and Cop Level 55. Just wanna end this hell, see who survives. Will report back, Traveller or no. Wish me luck!

---------- Post automerged 19th May 2012 at 01:07 AM ---------- Previous post was 18th May 2012 at 06:57 AM ----------

No need for a Traveller's Log. It was a pretty brutal finish. Aaron was taken down marginally easy, with Serenity's Flamethrower doing most of the work and Stormy covering that bloody Drapion. Bertha's bloody Whiscash gave me the most trouble at first until Seren jumped in all "I got dis" and killed him good. Storm and Cop took care of the rest, but not before Copper died to a critical hitting Earthquake courtesy of her Rhyperior. What a time to learn Cop didn't in fact have Levitate, eh? Rolypoly the Marill was used as a sacrifice there so I could heal up Stormy to take down Rhyperior after Cop died, and that was that.

Stormy took care of most of Flint's, though his steel typing almost got him killed and Vee had to step in and take down both Magmortar and Flareon, so good on him. Vee and Seren took down most of Lucian's pretty handily - Serenity OHKO'ing Gallade lol - but on Lucian's last - Espeon, Serenity took a critical Psychic and died.

So yeah, all I had to fight Cynthia was Vee, Stormy and a Psyduck. Vee took down Spiritomb, and then she brought out Garchomp. All Stormy had to do was nail him with Ice Beam and we'd probably actually live happily ever after (Provided Vee could take down Milotic and Togekiss and Stormy could Ice Beam Roserade afterwards...). But, well, Garchomp was faster and Stormy's steel typing really fucked me one last time. One Earthquake later, Stormy was dead, and there went my chances. Psyduck got roasted as I healed up Vee, and Vee didn't stand a chance.

And so ended my Platinum Nuzlocke Run. Going out in a blaze of glory against that fucking Garchomp was good enough for me, I suppose, and with so many odds stacked against me already just getting that far was a testament to my crappy team making the most of a crappy situation. My Graveyard box in the PC is like full, and the only two Pokemon left alive are Sluggy the Shellos and Mia the Tentacool. No point in training those two up to level 100 and then showing Cynthia's whose boss, as funny as it would be (Too much time commitment, lol). Nah, my team got wiped, and I just failed.

The whole run was 38 hours of badness. I derped more than a few times, and what little team I had left just didn't have the coverage to survive ground or fighting attacks. I got so many chances over the course of the game - hello Gible and a fucking shiny - but lost them like woah. I do wonder how it would've gone with Penrose, Gats, Chase or Rickety in the team too, but I have to note that the only reason I probably got as far as I did in the E4 was thanks to Serenity's Flamethrower, and I never would've thought of her if not for the fact everyone else had to die (Though, ironically, I totally forgot that egg would hatch a Togepi. I was resigned to using a Wobbuffet. That's how bad it had gotten.). So, ultimately, a run marred with stupidity and a whole lot of deaths. Sucky that it ended like this, but lesson for next time.

Maybe one day soon I'll just compose a team out of what I've got, train them a bit and beat Cynthia's ass once and for all with the zombie dream team. But probably not. I'll call this one a loss, a horrible, horrible, loss, and then hope like hell I'm not as stupid in my next run, come Pokemon Black 2 or Pokemon White 2.

So yeah, no underdog comeback victory. Traveller died. Again. Thanks for reading guys.

 

I'm feeling the urge to do another one. It'll be either FR/LG or Platinum.

 

I started one yesterday on FR, Gary's charmander crited in the first fight and I lost.

 

After my crushing defeat in Platinum I'm staying out of the Nuzlocke game until October, come Black 2 or White 2. I did White as a Nuzlocke, so I'll prolly go White 2 for this run. Tradition and all. Not sure if it'll be Traveller's log again - probably not - but I'll be doing some kind of story log thing. That's the Matt Silver Guarantee!

 

I've actually been streaming Nuzlocke runs on my stream and completely forgot about this thread.

Summation:

FireRed run. Got killed by Misty's Starmie between Swift and Water Pulse causing confusion every time.

FireRed 2: Rival got a crit scratch off in the first fight. Lost.

Ruby: Actually won this one. Only thing was that the pokemon that took out Steven's last pokemon, Metagross? My Linoone that was my only pokemon left and only had Normal type moves.

Crystal: Overleveled like mad and destroyed everything.

Currently doing a run of Diamond where I'm training up for the second gym.

 

I doubt I would Nuzlocke my first playthrough of a new game. I'd rather just enjoy the first experience and use the team I want rather than what the rules of the challenge stick me with.

 

That's why I'm playing the other version - Black 2 - how I want and going nuts, while White 2 is Nuzlocke. I personally love the idea of playing a new version blind. You never know what you're going to get, it ups the challenge, and I just find it a lot more fun than doing ones you've done to death. I really liked my White one because I didn't know the Pokemon themselves either - went spoiler free - so the first ones I bumped into were always a surprise, and so yeah, it was just awesome.

 

Alright, Leaf Green it is because I my sleep schedule has me generally only awake during the night time and having to deal with the time mechanics in Gen IV would be annoying unless I cheat and tinker with the clock. I don't want to run into 50,000 Zubats on the outdoor routes.

I'm no Connecticut Yankee, but we'll call this run A Florida Redneck In King Lance's Court. However, like that Connecticut Yankee, I will henceforth be known as The Boss. Deal with it. You can also deal with me randomly switching in and out of character as I see fit.

Kanto ain't Camelot, but they sound similar enough. After a strange dream involving a plant monster, some old man and something called Pokemon, I wake up in some strange bed in a strange land, and magically know that I should log onto this computer thingy and pull out a Potion. Genius. On to the lab in whatever this town is. Annoying kid standing there. Fuck having to talk to him. Outside again, into the tall grass. That professor from the dream hauls me back to the lab and invites me to take a Pokemon. Rather than the plant monster thing from the dream, I choose the Charmander because Charizard owns. I name him Lancelot. May he kick much ass and have many affairs with other Pokemonz' wives.

Gary takes his Squirtle, and herps and derps all over our battle. Tail Whip, Tail Whip, missed Tackle, Tail Whip again while I claw his shitty turtle to death. Flawless Victory.

Up Route One and into Viridian City. Get some parcel, back to Pallet Town. Pokedex obtained, and I don't bother collecting the Town Map because I don't need one unlike that Gary faggot.

Once I finally get some Pokeballs (I bought 10 and somehow had 15 so maybe I had some to begin with, idk) I catch Mordred the Rattata. I will actually use this for awhile, and it will be the first time I have ever used a Rattata. Sebile the Mankey from Route 22, Camille the Pidgey from Route 2 and Tristan the Caterpie from Viridian Forest join my fledgling Knights of the Poker Table, but all except the Caterpie go to the box.

Train a bit, and attempt to challenge the Pokemon League right away because I'm The Boss. Gary shows up instead. Lancelot beats down his Pidgey and Mordred fucks up his Squirtle again.

More training as I roast bugs and shit through the forest and out to Pewter City. Tristan evolves to Metapod and then to Butterfree in the process.

Lancelot, draw thy swor...claws of steel and beat Brock's ass forthwith. Metal Claw takes more hits than I want to beat down Brock's vassal Camper Faggot and The Boss makes a momentary withdrawal afterwards to evolve Lancelot into a Charmeleon. Brock is easy pickins once that is done.

Route 3 gives me Ector the Spearow (I really would have liked a Nido here, but meh...). I come within a hair's breadth of my first casualty here also. A critical Gust from a Pidgey leaves Tristan at one HP, but I survive to switch out and keep the team whole.

Considering that Route 4 yields nothing I particularly want, I instead buy Sagramour the Magikarp from some shady fat dude in the Pokemon Center outside Mt. Moon. I doubt I'll end up using it considering Gyarados sorta blows in Gen III, but there are still worse things.

Inside Mt. Moon, I quickly run into (what else?) Isolde the Zubat. Meh, might have been able to use a Repel for a guaranteed Paras in the B1 levels of the cave, but Crobat is at least decent if I end up needing to use it.

Now, I recall that I couldn't get a flier to save my worthless life against Brawly in my previous Emerald run and I already have three (five if you count the eventual Charizard and Gyarados) in this one. Gah. You never get what you want until you no longer want it.

Beat up dem Rockets, get a Dome Fossil (fuck yeah Kabutops) and out towards Cerulean. I perhaps should have taken advantage of the karate Move Tutors out here, but eh later if needed. Not ready for Misty quite yet, so up Nugget Bridge I go. Gary gets clowned again as Lancelot beats down his Pidgeotto until he switches in Squirtle. I switch to Mordred, Hyper Fang it into soup and then finish the returning Pidgeotto with Quick Attack. Lancelot comes back out to mop up on Rattata and Abra.

Tristan the Butterfree gets good (and soon to be irrelevant) experience against the glut of Poison types along the bridge, while Mordred gets enough to evolve to Raticate. I finally have a stroke of luck on Route 24 as I catch Ceridwen the Bellsprout. I was not at all looking forward to the prospect of trying to down Misty with a Raticate. Now that I have a Grass type, she ought to be smooth sailing (unsure if her Starmie has Confusion, but I'm not worried). Tristan heads to the box, no longer need him.

Now to train that weed up to speed, indeed. Tally ho.

The Knights of the Poker Table

Lancelot the Charmeleon, Level 20
Mordred the Raticate, Level 20
Ceridwen the Bellsprout, Level 12

Ye Olde Jobber Squad

Sebile the Mankey
Camille the Pidgey
Ector the Spearow
Isolde the Zubat
Sagramour the Magikarp
Tristan the Butterfree

 

Just wondering: what are the rules for received pokemon like fossils, as well as in game trades?

 

Believe those count as your Pokemon for that area.

 

Depends how you want to run it. It can count for the area you get the fossil, or the area you revive the pokemon.
If you go by the first, then you can't use whatever else you picked up there (in this case, Mt. Moon), and have to kill it asap.

 

Well, I've been reading through this entire thread, and it sounds interesting so I'm going to do a Leaf-Green Nuzlocke. I'm going to do a few things differently because this is the first time I've ever done a Nuzlocke challenge so the rules I'm going by is (not including the two core rules):

1. Cannot heal in battle, only outside.
2. Can only use healing items found on ground, not from the Pokemart.
3. Can use Pokemon Centers, but only 2 times a town/route, any more and it costs me $2000 for each consecutive visit.
4. No legendaries at all.
5. No held items.

My story begins.

Got out of bed, immediately withdrew a Potion from my computer. Went outside, messed around for a while before heading out to Route 2. Stopped by creepy old man who dragged me off to his lab. Met Rival aptly named Asshole. Received a Bulbasaur, and named it Bob.

Fought Rival and almost lost were it not for a lucky critical hit. Went to Viridian City, retrieved parcel and came back, slaughtering everything in my path. Headed back out and fought a Pidgey. It was captured and promptly named Harry. Healed at the Center for the first time and saved the game.

Team: Bob the Bulbasaur level 8.
Harry the Pidgey level 3.

 

So, I said smooth sailing right?

I forgot that Misty is a dirty fucking whore.

Ceridwen the Weepinbell drops Staryu without much trouble. Water Pulse does about 10 damage, Vine Whip OHKO. Starmie on the other hand...first Water Pulse does 20-ish and naturally inflicts confusion. I managed to get Vine Whip through it to take a little over half its HP, but know that I won't be able to survive another WP and self-damage. Neither are Charmeleon or Raticate able to tank Starmie on a switch. So, I have to burn healing items for several turns to let the confusion run its course. Finally finish the fucking starfish with another Vine Whip four turns later as Weepinbell moves second and snaps out of it.

Back up Cerulean Cape, let Lancelot have the bulk of the trainers since I won't be able to use him too much on the S.S. Anne due to the tons of water types. Meet Bill, look at his crappy Eeveelution pages (I'm using Espeon, fuck the ones he likes). Beat down a Rocket and get a nifty Dig TM, and down and around to Route 5 where I nab Gereint the Meowth. He has Pickup, so I'll keep him in my obligatory HM Slave spot for awhile and hope he brings in something good.

Nothing of note to catch in the grass on Route 6, will come back and fish here later.

Pass through Vermilion City, grab Dinidan the Diglett who shalt busteth that scoundrel Lt. Surge down to Private. While going back into town to use Ye Olde Pokemon Center, I grab Ector the Spearow and proceed to send him on a holy quest to nowhere in exchange for a Farfetch'd. Was there a Ch'ding in Arthurian mythology? Fuck it, there is now. The Boss says so.

Dip onto Route 14. If memory serves I can get a Magnemite here, but it probably doesn't serve and it doesn't matter because I get a shitty Sandshrew anyway. Sichelm consigned to the box as I use the trainers on the route to level up Diglett. He's now on par with the rest of the team, and it will be on to the S.S. Anne in the morning.

The Knights of the Poker Table

Lancelot the Charmeleon, Level 24
Mordred the Raticate, Level 24
Ceridwen the Weepinbell, Level 22
Dinidan the Diglett, Level 24
Gereint the HM Squire, Level 10

Ye Olde Jobber Squad

Sebile the Mankey
Camille the Pidgey
Isolde the Zubat
Sagramour the Magikarp
Tristan the Butterfree
Ch'ding the Farfetch'd
Sichelm the Sandshrew

 

After loading up the saved game I decided to level up Harry, because at Level 3 he's a bit worthless. After bumping him up a couple of levels I decided to check out Route 22, and luck was with me as the first Pokemon I ran into was a level 3 Mankey. After catching him and naming him Midknight, I wandered down to Route 1 and trained until Harry learned Gust. I proceeded back to Route 22 to Low-Kick and Gust the shit out of everything that dared challenge me.

After reaching the respectable level of 9, I encountered my rival. Harry did surprisingly well for having a modest nature. I sent Bob out against his orange lizard, and sat there and laughed as Leech Seed and growl made all attacks worthless. After beating him I healed up and ventured into the Viridian Forest where I encountered LT2000 the Caterpie, who eventually became LT2000 the bitchin' Butterfree (Compoundeye is the best). I saved outside the Pewter city pokemon center, and the next time I will attempt to level up all my pokemon to ~14.

Team:
Bob the Bulbasaur level 12.
Harry the Pidgey level 12.
Midknight the Mankey level 11.
LT2000 the Butterfree level 11.

EDIT: A lot has happened since I stopped. I handily beat the candy asses of Brock's rock types courtesy of Bob. After getting the badge and money I ventured out into Route 3/4. I picked up a Jigglypuff on Route 3, who I named Jon....and Jon promptly went into the box. Route had nothing interesting so I purchased the $500 dollar Magikarp. I hung around to do some minor grinding, when all of my team reached ~16 I proceeded to rampage through Mt Moon. I had hopes to pick up a Geodude or Zubat, but a Paras ruined it.

After leaving Mt. Moon I ventured into Cerulean City where I quickly healed and headed up to the Nugget bridge. I met with my rival Asshole, where Harry bitch-slapped his Pidgeotte to the ground, while Midknight the Mankey proved his worth by raping the rest of Asshole's team. After slaughtering my way to Bill's house, I caught an Abra, who will be traded to someone on Route 2 for a Mr. Mime.

I challenged Misty, who gave a minor scare when Bob's Sleep Powder missed a few times. However, Starmie only used Swift, so Bob was able to Vine Whip the purple star to the grave. After beating Misty May-Treanor, I decided to haul ass to Vermilion. I very nearly had my first casualty, where LT2000 went head to head with another Butterfree. LT2000 quickly proved his mettle by narrowing beating the enemy. After grabbing the bike voucher and retrieving the Bicycle, I came back to Vermilion City, saving right outside the Diglett cave.

Team:
Midknight the Mankey level 23.
LT2000 the Butterfree level 22.
Bob the Ivysaur level 23.
Harry the Pidgeotto level 22.

 

Right, left off entering the S.S. Anne.

Everyone got good training on the boat. Gary falls in usual easy fashion. Cut HM gotten and taught to Gereint the Meowth. Into Vermilion Gym, Dinidan the Diglett rips some ass with Magnitude and evolves to Dugtrio right in time to sweep Lt. Surge. Three Magnitudes, three OHKO's. I guess Electric Pokemon didn't win the war this time amirite. Go peel some fucking potatoes, Private Gump.

Through Diglett's Cave to nab the Flash HM, also taught to Meowth.

Mordred the Raticate now heads into retirement in the box. He's outlived his usefulness and I'm not wasting good experience on him.

Back up to Cerulean, get a bike and grind on some more trainers. Vortigern the Voltorb caught on Route 10. Also catch Olwen the Onix inside Rock Tunnel, using Ceridwen the Weepinbell to troll the Pokemaniacs with their shitty Slowpokes, Dugtrio to troll the Hikers and Lancelot the Charmeleon on everything else. Also use the Rock Slide Move Tutor on Dugtrio since I don't plan on replacing him and I need to vary his move pool a little.

One out of the tunnel, heal up in Lavender Town and head out onto Route 8. Esmeree the Vulpix caught and boxed and then into Celadon.

Y u faggots no tell me that I can't use Espeon in this gen? Anyway, no time mechanics mean that I apparently can't evolve Eevee to either Espeon or Umbreon in FR/LG. So I have to change my plans a bit, no problem. I'll get something to use Psychic later on. Starmie would be best, but at worst I can just use the gift Lapras. Merlin the Eevee immediately becomes Merlin the Jolteon instead, and Ceridwen the Weepinbell gets a Leaf Stone to evolve to Victreebell at the same time. I also burn almost all of my Pokebucks on coinz to get a Shadow Ball TM for Jolteon. So I'm pretty broke now, but whatever.

Lancelot trolls Celadon Gym with ease, replacing Ember with Flamethrower partway through. That allows him to rape Erika in her sweet geisha asshole with flawless precision. He reaches Level 36 upon taking out Vileplume, and evolves to Charizard in epic fashion. Quick jaunt out to grab the Fly HM, taught to Lancelot.

Merlin gets most of the work inside the Rocket Hideout since he's underleveled compared to the rest of the knights. Giovanni goes down easily via type matching, with Victreebell obliterating Onix and Rhyhorn while Jolteon slowly Double Kicks the kangaroo to death.

I have a Silph Scope. Fly to Lavender and enter the tower. Dare I hope that Gary died and his spirit got stuck here? No such luck, but he does get trolled again because Gary is a shitty faggot. Morgan the Gastly caught shortly thereafter. Jolteon finishes catching up with mass Shadow Ball spam on the trainers in the tower. That's done and so am I for the moment.

The Knights of the Poker Table

Lancelot the Charizard, Level 36
Ceridwen the Victreebell, Level 33
Dinidan the Dugtrio, Level 35
Merlin the Jolteon, Level 36
Gereint the HM Squire, Level 10

Ye Olde Jobber Squad

Sebile the Mankey
Camille the Pidgey
Isolde the Zubat
Sagramour the Magikarp
Tristan the Butterfree
Ch'ding the Farfetch'd
Sichelm the Sandshrew
Mordred the Raticate
Vortigern the Voltorb
Olwen the Onix
Esmeree the Vulpix
Morgan the Gastly

---------- Post automerged 08-13-2012 at 01:12 AM ---------- Previous post was 08-12-2012 at 11:27 AM ----------

EDIT: Eh, might as well finish since I've come this far. I doubt I'll continue through the Sevii Islands though.

 

Pokemon: Shorts Are Comfy And Easy To Wear Edition
(Alternate Title: Top Percentage Edition)

I've invented a new Nuzlocke variation that's been...well, interesting, at least, in the game I started fairly recently.

All standard Nuzlocke rules - you can only catch the first pokemon you see, if it faints it's dead, etc - apply, but so do the following rules:

Rule One: No Starters - as soon as you catch a second pokemon, you must release your starter pokemon.

Rule Two: You can only have six Pokemon overall - this means that after you've captured your first six pokemon, you can't catch another until one of them dies in battle.

Rule Three: You must at least try to catch the first pokemon you encounter in every area you are able to.

Rule Four: There's no restriction on having multiple copies of the same Pokemon species.

So, following these rules, here's the beginning of my account of the first ever game of POKEMON: SHORTS ARE COMFY EDITION.

---

I went through the motions for the beginning of the game - visited oak, got a Squirtle, beat GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK and his Bulbasaur, and delivered that bullshit parcel to Oak in exchange for Pokeballs. This part doesn't really matter, though.


What does matter is that as soon as I left Pallet for the second time, I ran into a Level 3 Rattata. After what was surely a pitched battle and not-at-all three tackles and a pokeball, Rattata was mine and I knew what I had to do.



I went to the Pokecenter, put Squirtle in Box 1, and hoped that Arceus would have mercy on my soul. Never released a starter before. Doubt it's going to be a good idea.

After this, I went back onto Route 1 to train - I was going to need a lot of that if I was going to get anywhere with nothing but a Rattata. Especially considering that it's the same level as everything else out in the grass. After some very close calls with Wild Pokemon that were only survived due to the fact that the AI is certifiably retarded, I managed to get it up to level seven before entering the next area. Trying to avoid powerleveling as much as possible, but I doubt that'll work out.

In Route 22, I got extremely lucky and caught...another level 3 Rattata.



I have a sneaking suspicion that they're both in the top percentage of Rattata. I went back to training because...well, honestly, I know that Gary Oak's going to have a Pidgey and a Bulbasaur as soon as I go around the corner, and they'll be both higher level and better than anything I have right now. Thus, it's time to power level just a bit.

Brought both of my superior Rattata up to level 9 before fighting Gary Oak. Turns out that, at this level, there's not that much difference between a Bulbasaur and two Rattata.

Went onto Route Two and waged a glorious battle against a level 3 Pidgey,

just barely subduing its might. After healing up and training the Pidgey up to level 8, I entered the Forest.

When I walked into the forest, I got really lucky - for real, this time - and found a Caterpie.

It was caught fairly easily, I left the forest, healed it, and went back in. While walking through the forest towards wherever it is I'm supposed to go, Pidgey ends up leveling up again and learning Gust. Now we're talking. I put Caterpie first in the party and, switching it for Pidgey at the beginning of every fight, get the former up to level 7 - and evolving it

- and the latter up to level 14 just by walking to the exit of the forest. Near the exit Rattata Prime - as I need some way of distinguishing between the two, the first one is "prime" and the second one is "second" - gets poisoned by a trainer's Weavile, but I make it to the pokemon center in time.

Walking into Brock's gym with only a Metapod, a Pidgey, and two Rattata - only one of which above level 10 - I found that I was sort of outmatched. I won my battle against the first trainer by using Arceus-knows-how-many tackles and switching out at 2 or less HP. I barely made it out with my lives.

Time to powerlevel.

Or not. As it turns out, bringing both Rattata to level 13 was enough. It was obviously close, but this furthers the two points raised above: One, at this level, everything's approximately equal and Two, the AI has no idea wtf it's doing.

After this, I went to the right, found the trainers there, and Metapod evolved once again into Butterfree.


And that's where the story ends for now. I think a run using nothing but random and, frankly, shitty, pokemon is going to be fun. It has been so far, anyway.
​

 

Gonna keep this short and sweet. After murdering my way through Diglett Cave where I picked up Lungs the Diglett, I brutally trained my Pokemon, aiming for above 26. After I reached that mark, I beat the tar out of the trainers of the Route to the right and the St. Anne. Once I had killed every trainer that I possibly could I went to the Gym to beat up Surge. Lungs the Dugtrio massacred everything Surge threw at it, so I collected the badge and went off to Rock Tunnel.

I honestly can't recall a whole lot, but I do remember picking up Vira the Vulpix, then picking up MattSilver the Jolteon who cost me all but 114 dollars trying to get a damn ShadowBall tm >.<. Much of the Rocket Game Corner was spent leveling Vira so she could use Flamethrower, however that wouldn't come until Celadon Gym. Midknight the Primeape nearly got the boot because it nearly died from Giovanni's Kangaskhan and 4 missed Cross Chops.

Blew through Celadon gym with Vira, went back to Lavender to kill the dead pokemon one more time, then beat up the Biker Gang on Cycling Road. Reached Fuschia City, but decided to take out the other Snorlax and go through Silence Bridge to reach Fuschia the other way. Made it to the beginning of Route 13, where I saved.

Team:
Bob the Venusaur level 37.
Lungs the Dugtrio level 37.
MattSilver the Jolteon level 37.
Paras the HM Slave level 10.
Vira the Ninetales level 37.
Midknight the Primeape level 37.

 

Alright, part two of my shitty pokemon journey: in which I ostensibly finish my team and it has a disappointingly low number of Rattatas.

I finish fighting the trainers on the path before going to the Tall Grass on Route 3 to see if I can catch anything. Fate is smiling upon me and I find yet another Pidgey. Not bothering to train it yet, I head straight for the pokecenter at the end of Route 4 and heal up for my venture into the Mountain.

In entering Mount Moon I expect a Zubat. Evidently, I am not so fortunate and end up with a Geodude staring me down with his beady little eyes. I size him up, both of us staring at each other, waiting for the other to blink, hit him with a Confusion from Butterfree, and follow it up with a pokeball. After subduing and defeating the mighty geodude, I return to the pokemon center, heal up my team, and think about what to do next. Evidently, that ends up being “train everything while wandering aimlessly through the mountain.”

While there, there were a few close calls with some Rocket Grunts and their goddamn poison, and I needed to waste my escape rope, but other than that, nothing really eventful happened. I leveled up Geodude, Pidgey Prime, Butterfree, and Rattata prime a bit, though; Geodude’s now level 10, with Pidgey at 16, Butterfree at 15 and Rattata at 18. Truly, they are all of the top percentage.

I march on Cerulean, my head held high, my team complete, and my Rattata of the very highest percentage. Along the way, I stop and talk to a guy who teaches Geodude how to use Mega Punch, because, honestly, why not? It’s the only thing I have that can use it anyway.

I decide to try my hand at Misty’s gym without any extra training because, once again, why not? My Rattata is of the best percentage, and even if that’s not enough, I can always be really cheap and use Sleep Powder with Butterfree. Evidently, the latter is unnecessary, as Rattata is a boss and Hyper Fang is awesome. I make it all the way to Misty using just a level 18 Rattata. Misty, however, is a bit more difficult. Staryu is nothing, but Starmie…Starmie is a fucking menace. Luckily, I knew that coming in. Deciding to come back with some higher-level pokemon, I go off and train in the grass to the West of the city.

In doing this, however, I accidentally commit the darkest of heresies: my Rattata, my top percentage god-amongst-monsters evolves into nothing but an ordinary upper-percentage Ratticate.

I must have offended The Gods themselves.

Regardless, I press onward and return to the gym to face its leader. The battle with Staryu goes exactly as I thought it would – OHKO’d by Hyper Fang. Starmie, however, is much more dangerous. I put it to sleep with Butterfree immediately – an action that takes half of Butterfree’s health – and then hit it with two Hyper Fangs. It wakes up after the first, taking about a third of my health, but I luck out at the last second, Hyper Fang getting a crit.

My victory's complete...but at what cost?

 

So...after getting bored with LG, then resolving myself to finish it I changed ye olde mind again. Thus, Platinum time!

Not going to run the No Repeats rule this time either. If that means I run into nothing but Bidoofs and Zubats for the entire first half of the game, I will either deal with it or cheat like a boss and you'll never fucking know the difference! But seriously, no No Repeats. For reals.

Delete my old as balls game and restart. As much as it pains me to wear a FUCKING BERET, God King Sera of dubious Unova lore walks the road again after being ripped through the Distortion World somehow and having his consciousness deposited inside some kid in a beret.

Actually, scratch that, the shitty beret goes into the trash and is promptly replaced with a pristine Burger King crown. Named the rival Cedric, as I saw that name for him on Serebii somewhere and decided why the fuck not. But for story purposes, his name is now Shortbus.

After waking up and being threatened with some million Pokedollar fine by that annoying retard kid, OH NOES I attempt to walk into the tall grass, and get lectured by an old man. I also meet some girl who might or might not become the first addition to the new harem of bitches.

Genesis the Turtwig will become the God King's starter in this new adventure, and starts it off right by beating the shitty shit out of Shortbus's shitty shit Chimchar that does nothing but spam Leer.

Back to Twinleaf after a hard two minutes of owning Shortbus to a home cooked meal from the decidedly less MILF than Unovamom mother of the Sinnohverse. Bitch give me dem Running Shoes and a sammich for the road. And hit my James Brown music. Shortbus wants to go to the lake and catch a Legendary Pokemon. Reborn God King Sera knows that one needs Pokeballs (and talent, which he also lacks) to do so, but offers nothing in hopes that the retard will get himself killed picking a fight with a Legendary.

Some stupid-looking guy is at Lake Verity. He dribbles so much retarded nonsense that the king is convinced that Ghetsis got sent back and deposited in another body too. The man leaves, wisely ceasing to breath my fucking royal air before I have to throw Shortbus at him. Moron unfortunately remembers that he needs Pokeballs, so no pissing in his watery grave for now.

To SANDGEM TOWN, where I meet Old Man Rowan and his little assistant who will henceforth be known as Jailbait, Get Pokedex and a Return TM, and a tour around town that I pay no attention to because for fuck's sake I have played millions of Pokemon games before. Buy NINE Pokeballs because I'm a contrarian motherfucker like that. Stop again at Lake Verity and catch Rapiecage the Starly before going home for more blah blah.

Taking a moment to give Rapiecage some quality training against shitty Bidoofs it's back through Sandgem to Route 202 where I am treated to a few minutes of looking up Jailbait's skirt while pretending to watch her show me how to catch a shitty Bidoof. Once that's done, I encounter my own shitty not a motherfucking Shinx like I want Bidoof, which I catch reluctantly and name Mindless and consign to ze box for ever.

Beat up Trainers, go to Jubilife, meet Jailbait and some pedophile posing as an Interpol agent and have to talk to clowns and some snake oil salesman peddling watches. Too cool for school but I have to go in anyway and talk to Shortbus, who then gets owned out on Route 203. Run into another Starly, which has to be turned into fried chicken because Dem Shitty Nuzlocke Rules.

Quick side trip back to whatever route to get an Old Rod and then home to Twinleaf to catch Leviathan the Magikarp in the little fish pond next to the woods. Oreburgh Gate brings in Danielle the Psyduck, which goes to the box, and Route 207 brings in Hulkamania (bruther~) the Machop which does not go to the box. Pity I have no mechanism to evolve it to Machamp because it has No Guard and is thus amazing, but it shall serve as a placeholder.

And now, in the mines and showing my new addition how to eat his vitamins and take his steroids and all that (and also catching Blackrock the Geodude). Peace, bitches.

The A-Team Redux

Genesis the Turtwig, Level 14
Rapiecage the Starly, Level 13
Hulkamania the Machop, Level 10

The Box

Mindless the Bidoof
Leviathan the Magikarp
Danielle the Psyduck
Blackrock the Geodude

---------- Post automerged at 01:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:32 AM ----------

Back to work here.

Finish the mine. Roark is easy pickings for Genesis the Turtwig, though I have a little scare when Razor Leaf misses Cranidos the first time. Second one takes it out in one blow though. Badge and Stealth Rock TM acquired, teach Rock Smash to my shitty Bidoof. Put Rapiecage the Starly in the lead and go down to the lower level of Oreburgh Gate to grab some items. In doing so I run into a wild Golbat. Why the fuck didn't I use a Repel on my first trip through and avoid that fucking Psyduck? Well, I probably would have just run out of balls trying to catch the bat anyway. Rapiecage hits Level 14 and evolves to Staravia upon dogfighting the Golbat to death. Cool beans.

First battle with Team Galactic is a double battle. Jailbait's Piplup vultures one of my kills. Route 204 and the Ravaged Path yield nothing in terms of new Pokemon as I run into repeats of Bidoof and Psyduck respectively. However, that little run of bad luck leads to a much more fortunate turn of events as I finally bag a Shinx at Valley Windworks. Landius the Shinx added to the A-Team. A little training for the new arrival (evolving to Luxio) as well as for Hulkamania the Machop against the wilds of the area. The Hulkster will have to do some yeoman's work shortly, as he's booked in the main event against Commander Mars and her Purugly. Don't want a casualty, so a little extra leveling is in order.

That battle goes as expected. Use an X Defend during Purugly's opening turn so I don't just have it wasted due to Fake Out. Low Kick deals with that hideous hairball in short order.

Digestion the Shellos added on Route 205. Genesis (now a Grotle) gets most of the work heading into Eterna Forest, as there is precious little within for him to fight inside without type disadvantage.

Eterna Forest goes smoothly enough, aside from a scare in a double battle due to a Pachirisu getting a critical on Staravia with Spark. Manage to switch out and avoid that problem though. Kasumi the Budew added inside the forest.

Route 211 brings Silence the Meditite, which has Pure Power and some thus potential for use. Boxed for the moment, however. Grab the Exp. Share in Eterna City, bring Leviathan the Magikarp and tack it on to begin the Swim to Gyarados.

Rapiecage trolls Eterna Gym single-handedly, nothing worth mentioning there. Grass Knot TM will be useful on something later.

And now...rage rage rage rage. It's Commander Jupiter time.

I had a plan, and it worked as scripted and yet it didn't. Use Grotle to tank the Zubat mostly because I have no use for it elsewhere in this battle. Switch in Luxio as Skuntank comes out. Intimidate lowers its attack. Night Slash does half HP (god almighty would I have been fucked in the ass by a critical here), and Spark does damage plus paralysis.

Enter Rapiecage. Staravia's entry activates Intimidate again, and now Skuntank's Attack is down two levels. Night Slash barely does 11 damage. Pluck steals its Sitrus Berry, heals me near to full and another Night Slash does another 11. Now I should have enough HP to survive even a critical. Critical happens, and Staravia dies. Unless I miscalculated, the game literally fucking cheated.

I almost reset and redo the battle because fuck that, but fuck that idea too. I started this run because I wanted a challenge and I'll take this bullshit. A toast to Rapiecage the Staravia and the beast cornerstone of my team that he was meant to be.

For those interested, Hulkamania tagged in and cleaned up Skuntank like a boss.

It's actually somewhat awesome that I made a (somewhat dangerous) plan, executed it to perfection and still managed to get stuck with an unintended casualty. I really ought to have trained up my Geodude for this fight. Magnitude would have wrecked Skuntank. I was too lazy to put in the time and paid a price for it. Lesson learned. I think I'll actually end up enjoying this run a lot. So much more challenging than the earlier generations. Now to get my Togepi egg (perhaps a replacement Normal/Flying depending on what Skill I get, fuck Hustle) and to go check on my honey tree at Floaroma Meadow.

The A-Team

Genesis the Grotle, Level 22
Hulkamania the Machop, Level 20
Landius the Luxio, Level 20
Leviathan the Magikarp, Level 15
Mindless the HM Slave

The Box

Danielle the Psyduck
Blackrock the Geodude
Digestion the Shellos
Kasumi the Budew
Silence the Meditite

Obituaries

Rapiecage the Staravia - Skuntank'd in Eterna Galactic HQ