It may have something to do with Oswin wiping the Dalek databases from the previous episode? Not sure though since I figure he should be somewhat well known outside of Dalek circles.

 

I honestly didn't get that bit. Made zero sense.

I was under the impression that ol' Argus didn't know who the Doctor was, thus the whole wanting him to fix his legs and the 'oh you mean a DOCTOR Doctor' line.

 

It's not like everyone knew who he was even before he 'died'. A lot of people, sure, but not everyone. And given the lengths he's gone to to appear dead so far, I'm comfortable assuming that he's deleted himself from their records, so he can't be scanned.

And yeah, Soloman didn't know who the Doctor was. No way he'd have let him go if he did (and also wouldn't have needed him valued; the last Timelord, not as dead as he appears? Name your price, I'd have thought).

 

Okay, fine. I want to address this in a state of mind that's sort-of-not-frothy-anger, so here goes.

I like Doctor Who. I really do, despite everything I have and am about to say. I'm just not terribly fond of the writers. Or the supplemental characters. The new plots. And maybe it is silly of me to be tearing apart a children's television show - it's about as silly as the rest of you watching a children's television show. I don't really know what it is about the new series that makes me see mostly terrible bits.

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I wasn't there from the beginning, but I've watched as many episodes I could get my hands on. It's a fantastic story, a man travelling through time righting the wrongs of the universe. And to get to this point - 49 years in with 30+ seasons not counting the TV movie nor the Tennant specials - I've obviously had to put a lot of time into it.

When it was announced that Doctor Who was coming back, I couldn't wait. New adventures with maybe an old, maybe a new Doctor and company. Brill. And then finally, it was on screen, and it was exciting, because I knew the secret that nobody else did - I knew what the Doctor was. I knew who the Doctor was, and who the Autons were and the Nestene, and while all the new viewers were wondering who the man was planting explosives on top of buildings, or how he was seemingly in pictures from time immemorial (no, not Photoshop). It was a good first episode.

And then it kind of went to shit for a while. The Slitheen episodes started off good, and then when the bad guys were revealed to be fat, farting green things, I realised someone wasn't trying.

Even Dalek, the episode that was supposed to bring back (one of) the Doctor's sworn enemy(ies) was pretty terrible. Instead of the Doctor, notable hero that he is/was, going up against the Dalek "properly", he froths at the mouth like I tend to do when I post in this thread. Despite the understandable amount of hatred when confronting something like this, even Jews who have faced Nazis don't act like this. It's over the top. And then, he picks up a gun with the intent of chasing the Dalek around the facility. Not very smart, trying to shoot a killing machine - and that's what the Doctor is supposed to do, outsmart his opponent. Instead, it's Rose and the power of her love, not only saving the Doctor, but the Dalek as well!

Alas, Rose is a slut. Now there's this Adam cunt tagging along for no reason other than he's some eye candy for Rose. The Doctor has to be badgered into it - and he accedes in the manner of a father spoiling his child than a prospective love interest. Characterisation was a real problem with Rose.

Father's Day could have been so much better than it was. At the end of it, it was a vehicle to sort out daddy issues, and the 'Reapers' were never seen or heard from again, despite being supposed to show up where damage is done to the timeline. Like say, Adelaide Brooke being on Earth after her death. The same sonic screwdriver being in two places at once?

And then the meat of the season, the one with the creepy gas mask kid. How is this episode not awesome? Well, Captain Jack, but he's about it. He's just sort of omnisexual for no reason. He's supposed to fulfill our quota for aliens, despite being human. And the Time Agency. Did they just have the one guy? What the hell? (Torchwood can kiss my ass, but they'd enjoy that.) Anyway, awesome. Special effects of the gas mask growing out of the dude's face? Awesome. Scary vibe from something simple? Double awesome. This harkens back right properly to what Doctor Who was, and still is to me. I really want every episode to be this good. If it was, I would have nothing to complain about.

More fatty farty aliens. The episode only served to introduce us to the 'Heart of the TARDIS'. What kind of bullshit is that? More on that when I sum up the series a bit later.

Finally, we come to the penultimate and ultimate episodes. Rose saves the universe. Literally. Because she's the most important person ever. LITERALLY. Remember how foamy mouthed the Doctor got at seeing a Dalek earlier in the season? That's gone. Doesn't even blink an eye. Oh, hey, it's those guys we went to war with and they killed my species. That's cool. Let's go chat 'em up and see what their plan is. I'll remind you at this point of my last post detailing the retarded black guy.

I'd like to point out the Rose, being a self-absorbed twat, shits all over the Doctor's sacrifice (saving her life and sending her back in time while he dies) by giving him a hearty fuck you and tearing apart his home for the mystical power source. She then receives UNLIMITED POWER and charges forth and kills him herself. And uh yeah. Barcelona.

Oh, and she gives Captain Jack immortality, because Barrowman is deliciously sexy. Fuck all the other people who died.

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So, in summation, season one was a weak start to the new series. There were some good bits, but on the whole, the series seemed like it was more about Rose than anything else, despite the title of the programme being "Doctor Who".

He picks up a girl who ditches her boyfriend with not so much as a by your leave the second TIME TRAVEL comes up. Never mind that it's a disappear-y blue box that can travel in space and is dimensionally transcendent. This girl is his on-again-off-again love interest for the season, despite having a boyfriend. Despite picking up a random guy for no reason.

Then she nearly destroys the universe and the Doctor AND HER DAD has to clean up her mess. All is forgiven for no good reason. Cunty Adam tried to change the world for personal gain, left behind with a brain door. Cunty Rose tried to change the world for personal gain, FUCKING NOTHING HAPPENS.

The Heart of the TARDIS is bupkis. It's like the Enterprise being driven by magic something more ridiculous than a fusion reaction, or computers being powered by... well, magic. There is no reason for it to exist, except as a deus-ex-machina an episode and a half later. I honestly wouldn't mind so much if the TARDIS' power source was already established, or at the very least more scientific-sounding. Like a space-time rift, say. (And he only ever had to fuel up like what, twice? Fuel economy is bitchin'.) Heart of the TARDIS is just some pseudo-religulous mumbo jumbo that makes no sense at the time, and no difference later on.

And a bunch of Daleks. From nowhere. We couldn't even give them a season to build up their forces a little more reasonably? THEY DID IT IN THE PAST, SO SHUT UP. One of the good things about old Doctor Who is the lack of overuse of enemies. The last time there were two Dalek episodes in the same season was in NINETEEN SEVENTY FUCKING THREE. And to be fair, it was more or less a continuation of the same story.

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And that's it for my review of Series 1, following series reviews to follow. I was probably terribly unsuccessful in getting my point across, considering that my point was "I don't just sit here and hate Doctor Who".

And for the record Kevo, I haven't watched Doctor Who since the end of series 6. So ha on you.

 

I actually do get you, u really can't hate something if you don't care for it, if you didn't care for it you would be indifferent to it.

You are probably a bigger Doctor Who fan than I am and I actually do respect that. Its just sometimes your displeasure just comes off too strong, you're essentially a wet blanket that kind of puts a damper on things.

I am not asking you to stop posting about the show( kind of enjoyed your little review actually ) and now I get where you're coming from.

As a fellow fan,just try and enjoy the show and if it really doesn't tickle your fancy and leaves you frothing at the mouth leave it, wait for a season to end then go back to it.

Anyway again just as you seemed to somehow be annoyed by Shinysavage saying every episode was great its annoying seeing you hate every episode.

 

Well, I said that future series reviews would follow, and I really am quite bored. People who aren't Ellisande, tell me to shut up with these if you like. Hopefully I can at least entertain you in...

DOCTOR WHO REVIEWS

Series 2 - Electric Boogaloo
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The Christmas special. Well, the evil Santas are cool. This is an okay outing for the Doctor, despite spending half of it in bed snoring. He more or less wins a sword fight and saves the day right after waking up. Not bad for a man who wishes he was only 900-ish. I love how the Sycorax were completely unimpressed with Rose's initial bluster.

Series 2 proper begins with gratuitous use of the word 'new'. No, seriously. Twenty five times in the first five minutes. Someone buy Russell a thesaurus, a translator - something. Also, Rose is a bitch - Mickey says to her that he loves her at the beginning. Rose doesn't really reply. Isn't that a huge tell? Oh, the Face of Boe is now a species. And he's got an English accent. And offspring. Keep this in mind. Another terrible plot point is Cassandra, who has dedicated her existence to staying alive, and instead of just cloning herself, she makes a leopard print manservant who worships her. And at the end of the episode, she has a change of heart instantly. Literally instantly. She turns around and takes over the leopard print dude's body, and has a line of dialogue talking about how the body's going to die soon, and she's totally cool with it.

Then we move on to Victorian Scotland. Overall, this isn't too terrible an episode, with a decent story and David Tennant's pretending-to-be-Scottish-whilst-pretending-not-to-be accent. And for some reason, Shaolin monks. Good visual effects for the wolf close-ups. In my opinion, the ending was a bit weird since the moon is where a werewolf gets its power, but whatever. As a minor point of interest, late-eighties werewolf and mid-2000s werewolf; oh what an incredible distance we've travelled together.

School Reunion. Oh, Sarah, how I've missed you. And K-9, with just a speck of rust. Mickey smashed Sarah's car into a building, makes me wonder who's paying the damages. Also, the fat kid is cool now, and that's how you know this is fiction; fat kids are never cool. This and Girl in the Fireplace are the best episodes of the season, bar none.

Speaking of Girl in the Fireplace, does the Doctor have an aristocracy fetish? Subbing with Queen Victoria, 'dancing' with Madame de Pompadour, flirtations with Queen Elizabeth and Nefertiti? This would make more sense than what happens in Series 6. But yeah, this is a good episode. Maybe because Rose isn't a driving factor? For some reason, whenever she's got a pivotal role, the episode goes to pot. Anyway, I just love the steampunkiness of the villains. Really cool. Overall, good episode and it doesn't matter - the Doctor had sex.

And speaking of, the Cybermen return. And these aren't the Mondas cybermen, they're NEW Cybermen. Made by a dying "genius" CEO who also made the EarPods. And they've got branding everywhere. It's not a bad episode, terribly, but the Cybermen have been dumbed down incredibly. Kind of like anyone who uses Apple products. In the olden days, they used to plan and have a decent vocabulary and be weak against gold. Now the only thing they say is 'delete' and kill. I'd make another Apple joke, but I mean Apple doesn't produce zombies so I can't.

The Idiot's Lantern is an okay episode, with a unique villain. And once again, royalty. What the hell, guys - I know you're supposed to write what you know, but did somebody suck Prince Charles' dick a lot or something? I don't know if the main family that we're introduced to was even necessary to the point of the plot though. The only thing they were good for is exploring some theme with a deep meaning, but it was boring and preachy, so I didn't care that much. The worst thing about this episode is that it's Mark Gatiss' best - which says something about the rest of his episodes.

Then the Doctor appears on a base of some sort to talk to Satan. And the butlers did it. I don't really have anything to say about the Ood, other than Ood is doo backwards, and these two episodes were pretty shitty indeed.

After that, it's a love story between some stalker and a cement block. This cement block gives him blow jobs, so it's like a talking fleshlight. I really don't know what to say about this episode is that someone is alluding to blowjobs in front of children. And remember how fat green aliens were evil? Well, this episode will ensure children hate fat people. Because instead of just killing people, this fat green one EATS them. I wish I was joking, but I'm fucking not. Worst episode of the series, maybe even in general.

Or not; this one's another terrible one. Long story short, living drawings and a parent's love saves the day. And for some reason, David Tennant didn't light the Olympic flame irl to culminate in the most awesome mindfuck ever. So the episode was worthless in the end.

And then Doomsday. What can I say about Doomsday. First of all, thank god Rose is gone - they won't have anyway to bring her back now. Second of all, now the space between universes is Hell... what the hell? First Satan, now Hell. Next what - you're going to tell me about angels? Anyway, like I said a few paragraphs up, the Cybermen are down to 35 IQ, for a secret para-military organisation, Torchwood is laughable, and more EarPods. It was okay, I guess, but pretty mediocre. And Martha is dead, haha.

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More characterisation problems this series, and instead of Bad Wolf, the theme this series is Torchwood. Tennant isn't necessarily a better Doctor, just different - and you can say that for any Doctor over the past 50 years. He does get a lot more adulation from fans though. Why? He's hot. That, and he seems like a pretty cool guy from other TV and media appearances.

One of two major problems I'm finding is the support cast - Rose is a Mary Sue, her boyfriend Mickey worships her while she's off gallivanting and trying to seduce the Doctor, and her mother is straight out of a Corrie script. But since she's leaving, that should be sorted.

We'll find out in Series 3 - Jungle Fever.

 

I actually like these posts, they're well written and engaging as opposed to your usual practice of just shitting on everything.

 

Highlights: Queen Victoria being an ungrateful little shit and immediately setting out to get the Doctor.Also Seen: Queen Victoria also being absolutely right, the Doctor is an adrenaline junkie that enjoys being chased by aliens that are suspiciously similar to earth animals.

Highlight: The Doctor creaming himself over Rose with a long speech about how he believes in her (why exactly?). I nearly gagged. This shitty human wanking has to end.

He also said some really dumb shit like humans curing disease being a bad thing. Tennant's Doctor had issues.

I ended up liking Mickey when he became proactive, before he was just a prop to show how the Doctor and Rose have no time to waste for the people on the long road. Lovesick puppies aren't appealing.

 

Can Rose really be considered as a Mary Sue?

I mean, no matter how perfect she might be, she's still a dirty chav.

 

I have always wondered whether Rose would have been more appealing if she wasn't pining for the doctor

 

Nope. But if the Doctor stopped creaming himself over her though...

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7583841/1/The-most-exclusive-club-in-time-and-space

Interesting story, do you guys think this could actually happen in canon?

 

Another decent episode. Which is quite disappointing, because I'm waiting to be wowed and there are just two more episodes.

Also, it seems that the Bad Wolf of this season are lightbulbs and Christmas.

EDIT: Also eggs if we assume that the spaceship looked like one.

 

If it gave them an excuse to bring David Tennant back to my screens as The Doctor, then hell yes.

 

I just got the chance to watch it and I may have had an "Oh Shit..." moment when I finally figured out why Filch looked so damn familiar.

I personally enjoyed this episode, although the whole killing Silurians bit is starting to draw on me. It seems that they always get the short end of the stick, even when they are being a bit dickish.

Also, was I the only one who wondered what the hell kind of turn humanity takes in the future where everything and apparently everyone has an assigned value and if the ownership of Neferrtiti is any indication slavery is a perfectly legal thing. Not that Solomon was any marker of the legality of something.

 

I've been powering through this show and just finished Lets Kill Hitler.

:facepalm I didn't really dislike river up until now. But god did I wish she'd been killed in this episode no matter how much it messed up the timeline.

Overall, even though this season has had some really strong episodes, all this contrived river/amy/ganger bullshit is getting on my nerves. I really hope this season is the end of her

 

What you don't like constantly hearing about the-girl-who-waited?

 

You understand that River 'died' nearly four years ago, yes? Just clarifying here.

 

I do, I mean the end of her as in River not showing anymore,

And yeah, since when has the companion been SO important? I mean of course every previous companion has had some plot device powers that made them super important to the universe (except for Martha) but It almost feels like the show has become Amy and her boys

 

It's been like that since Rose. Next season I hope for just a male companion at the start. Chilling with the Doctor and going on mad adventures. None of this romance drama that's been shoved down our throats.