It would be a pretty big risk to visit them and just hope he doesn't create a paradox. Their deaths being a fixed point in time kind of means that he can't risk it. Or are their whole lives fixed points in time now?

That's beyond my understanding of it, time travel theories will always confuse the fuck out of me.

 

Meh. He faked his own death to avoid the fixed point in time and that was much more tricky than what he would need to in this case. For me Ponds are just one obvious twist from returning, so this episode really didn't a bad job in sending them away for good.

 

The Doctor didn't fake his death to avoid a fixed point in time, him dying in the Tesselactor was always the fixed point. Everything else was an assumption based on incomplete information.

Depending on when Amy wrote the book and how much detail it goes into this might just be a paradox he can't wiggle out off.

 

Its the same reason why he doesn't always go back in time and stop bad shit from happening before they happened. What happened to the ponds was a fixed point in time for both him and River, the only way I cans see anyone changing that is if another Time lord comes along.

Do you think the glasses will become a part of his gimmick now?

 

The knowledge coming from the headstone and book could be just as fake, you know.

 

All I know is that Brian is gonna be hella pissed after the Doctor said they wouldn't die, not with him. Funny, that. Probably the best episode this season thus far, but damned predictable and at the end, utterly corny with the graveyard scene. Why else show us an Angel on the panning shot after Amy hadn't even made her final farewell? Still not seeing the point of River's character outside saying "Sweety" at least 5 times an episode and being the cocktease Amy tried to be back when she first joined the Doctor. Yipee, she's his wife, big deal.

Hoping for more from the Christmas episode, still not entirely sure what to make about having yet the new companion, though I suppose we'll see.

 

Not really. I mean Ten and Martha got zapped into the past and that didn't stop him from traveling from doing time traveling. I mean all that they know is that Rory and Amy die in the past. They could live their entire lives in the future and so long as they return to when they would have died it wouldn't create a paradox. So yeah, Rory and Amy only have to die in the past, not live in it. If Eleven hadn't read the afterword then he could have gone and visited them, like he said time can be unwritten, but not if it's been read.

 

I agree with Thomaslight completely. The reasoning behind Amy's and Rory's departure escapes me.

Spoiler

They got angel-zapped?

Fine.

There are things that prevent the Doctor from going back to old New York?

Okay.

Amy and Rory can't possibly be saved?

ERROR 404

Logic not found.

The reasons stated for the Doctor not being able to go back and get them are as follows:

• (A) because there are now too many time distortions in New York
• (B) because they all saw the gravestone, making Rory being buried there a fixed point.

Now... pardon me if I'm wrong... but there's absolutely nothing stopping the Doctor from saying, "Alright Amy... you're going back in time to be with Captain Shnozz. Since I can't land the Tardis in New York ever again, I want you to find Rory and hitch a ride back to London. Every year for the past 500 years, I'll appear at 'insert location' between the hours of 12 and 2 pm. We're bound to meet eventually. Then I'll take you both back to your life. When you and Rory finally kick the bucket of old age, we'll pop back to 'insert time' and I'll have River take your coffins back to New York. Also, I'll make her publish that stupid book."

I get that it's high-time for the Ponds to leave (God knows I'm sick of Amy), but death by angel-induced time travel was a stupid fucking way to do it, and anti-climatic to boot. It would have made so much more sense to have them choosing to live a normal life after the chaos had settled. They planted those seeds with the last episode... which I thought was pretty damn great... and then just cast them aside.

Ginormous logic fail aside, it was a pretty decent episode.

 

So they stayed in that hotel for the rest of their lives? That specific point, or New York till the 30s?

 

I should be more clear with it. I meant to say that he avoided what everyone thought was his fixed point in time (him really dying) by simply focusing on the fact that only fixed thing is how it should look like, not what it was behind the scenes.

By the way, BBC is going to publish The Angel's Kiss.

 

Balls.

This episode was awful and I'll explain why:

When you have an idea as interesting and awesome as a 'time farm' why the fuck do you go and clutter the episode with a bunch of shit about a 'collector', gangsters and baby angels?

This episode could have been a really good sending off for the Ponds, who frankly in my opinion, fucking deserve one.

Imagine if this episode, instead of being a River Song, Gangster, Living Statue of Liberty clusterfuck had actually been written by someone with some talent:

Instead of some random opening sequence with a dumbfuck detective wandering through 1930's Hoteland you begin with the Doctor and the Ponds sitting in the park reading the book intersperced with shots of a shadowy detective figure investigating 'a weird hotel'. Blah blah blah cue angels stalking her and the Doctor realising what's happening. River Song says "Hello, Cutie," and cue the opening credits.

The Doctor goes back in the Tardis, saves River Song and the four of them realise that this part of Manhattan is crawling with angels. They do some actual investigating (for once) and find that the hotel has a really bad reputation (you could even insert the mandatory 1930s gangster sequences at this point, minus all of the ridiculous Collector bullshit) and that for some reason, people who check into the hotel are never seen again. During these scenes you can emphasize the 'time cannot be unwritten' thing, even using the broken wrist thing as an example if you wanted to be full retard.

At this point the four of them are attacked by angels again and in the ensuing chase, Rory gets nabbed. They figure out he's been transported not in time, but in space, ala the actual episode and head to hotel, without the need for all that random sci-fi handwaving bullshit. When they arrive they find it suspiciously empty of angels and that every room is occupied by an old person, eventually finding Rory along the way.

Cue doctor working out that the angels have started a person farm, along with an enormous breeding facility and how the Angels are building an army in order to turn all of New York and eventually the world into an enormous people farm. This is then followed by another chase through the building until they come across Rory's room and watch him die. Rory and Amy come to the conclusion that they have no choice but to run and as in the episode, end up on the roof while the Doctor and River Song end up outside.

Rory makes the same conclusion he makes in canon, that him dying again makes the entire thing a paradox, but instead of thinking that it'll mean none of it happens, admits he doesn't know what's going to happen. He climbs up on the ledge, ready to jump and instead of asking Amy to do it, like a knobhead, he gets ready to jump. Amy decides regardless of outcome, she's going to go with Rory, whether that means death or whatever.

The Doctor and River Song watch from the ground as Rory and Amy leap from the roof, causing a paradox and having the whole hotel/event get swallowed by Time as it attempts to erase the paradox.

Thus you have an episode that writes Rory and Amy out in a more conclusive way than just getting zapped by an angel, but that allows for them to return if needs be. And their deaths are actually significant and mean something as they were preventing New York/The World from getting overrun by angels.

Yeah it's not perfect but it's a fucktonne better than the confusing, random, anemic drivel we were treated to last night.

 

Am I the only one that noticed the death Moffat hinted (well outright stated) earlier was just the old Rory dying in front of Amy? I doubt anyone is surprised that Moffat followed up on his warning with that, but, still. That and the badly explained fixed point in time were my two biggest problems with this episode.

 

The Last Days of the Ponds.

A short document about Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill leaving the show. It watches much better than the actual episode and gives them a proper send-off.

 

While I did, for the most part, thoroughly enjoy the episode, I agree whole-heartedly on this point. Having Rory and Amy not survive the jump would have been far better than what we actually got (although equally, would Moffat have been able to do that? I can't see the BBC being terribly happy with having two main characters kill themselves on Saturday prime time*).

That, and a few bits of fridge logic that have already been thoroughly covered in the thread, let the episode down a fair bit, but there was a lot to enjoy as well.

At least now we can concentrate on how in the hell they're going to bring back Oswin convincingly.

*Yes, I know it's been done before - the woman in Waters of Mars for one - but that was offscreen and not a major character*2. Little bit different.

*2: Fair play to Moffat though; two characters and three (effectively) suicides in the space of five minutes. You don't get that in many shows.

 

DOCTOR WHO REVIEWS


Series 5 - Is The Writing Better Yet, Because I'm Running Out of Things to Add to This Subtitle; Actually, I've Got A Good One For Series 6

​

Anywho, the Doctor (having just left the planet Earth) is crashlanding (also on the planet Earth) and he narrowly misses being impaled on some building that I can't remember off the top of my head. I'd like to point out at this point that the TARDIS doors open inwards. So how the fuck did the Doctor end up outside? Anyway, he crashlands in the tiny village of Leadworth, completely destroying this one girl's garden shed. Inside her manor estate, he finds the secret Time Lord penicillin of fish fingers and custard, as well as a crack in the universe in the girl's wall.

He sonics open the crack in order to shut it (which he could have done with a couple more that he found later on in the season, but that would make too much sense) and finds a giant eye that guards a prison. Unfortunately, eyes don't have arms or legs, so they can't stop the dangerous 'Prisoner Zero' from escaping.

Skip ahead 12 years, and the little girl has become a prostitute because the Doctor ruined her childhood. Stuff happens, the Doctor pokes the aliens in the eye and fucks off for another two years (which Amy is so keen to remind us at every opportunity). And that's it. Oh, and the TARDIS looks all steampunky and cool now. Seriously, that other design was retarded. And if someone says 'desktop theme', I will kill them. Desktop themes went out with Windows 98 or ME, BBC. My favourite was Inside Your Computer.

They then arrive on the 'Starship UK', because a general starship would have been too much to ask for. Every city in the UK is reperesented by what appears to be an apartment building, save Newcastle, but fuck Geordies. Anyway, they meet Queen Elizabeth the Tenth who is black because inbreeding somehow and they save the starship UK from itself, because they enslaved a star whale and made it carry their apartments. The Doctor's character is explored in more depth, this episode, and he shows flashes of fury that I really like. He's quick to just decide to kill the starwhale, though. You'd think he'd just say 'fuck it - there are tons of humans out there anyway', and blow the ship. For some reason, Amy is the one who saves the day. For some reason, the Doctor (who noticed shit in bullet time during the last episode) isn't noticing shit this episode. Makes no sense.

Then we see Winston Churchill, who wants the TARDIS so he can eat it, I guess. Fuck, he's supposed to be portly, not port-sized. Anyway, the Daleks. I've already talked about this episode elsewhere. It's stupid, and it burnt out my Sharp Quattron because of the stupid colours. Also, the Doctor leaves the flying airplane technology and the lasers behind. Because fuck the timeline, I can trust people in a war not to use really powerful weapons that the other side doesn't have. This episode didn't really have a proper conclusion, it felt so open-ended, and I know that was because the Daleks escaped, but something about it just felt like they didn't finish it. They got to a certain point in the script and decided, okay; that's a wrap!

Then we see the Angels again, except they're kind of deformed. Down's Syndrome Angels. Instead of feeding on the potential energy timey-wimey, they just kill people now, because they're feeding on the ship engines. And eat the brainstems of people they kill, which somehow makes them able to speak. And anything that has the image of an angel is an angel, so the instant you recognise in your head that it's an Angel, you're dead. And in the later episode, the Angels move on-screen, subtracting from their cool factor. Kind of disappointed with that. River's presence was superfluous - she didn't really perform any function that the Doctor couldn't do, iirc. She shows up in the beginning, and shows him up because "he left the parking brake on", which is a needless explanation of something that didn't need explaining. I hated it as much as I hated the alarm noise from The End of Time. No, the TARDIS isn't a fucking car. I like Alex Kingston, but why is she even there? Also, religious soldiers; just what the universe needs - what could go wrong?

And then we pick up Rory at his stag and bring him along, because there's no place better to get your fiance to connect with you than when you're in mortal peril. Fish from space. This was actually a pretty good episode.

And the we come to Amy's Choice. Who would be the man that she has a relationship with? Answer: who cares. If I'm honest, I liked the fact that there was no romance subplot for the Doctor. After three seasons of that bullshit, we can all calm the fuck down. The Dream Lord was a pretty good villain, too. Mysterious, devious, and able to match the Doctor at pretty much every turn. I remember when the Master was capable of that, and he didn't even have to turn anybody into a house-elf. Maybe into action figures, but they were dead-dead. Anyway, the Dream Lord was a pretty cool guy, and it's unfortunate he wasn't going to be a recurring character, although since the Dream Lord is the darker tendencies of the Doctor, I could draw a parallel to the Valeyard (but I won't).

From the Dream Lord, we come to the Silurians, and the ongoing theme of "the best of humanity". There's a reason that ambassadors are trained diplomats (or political appointments for friends) and it's because they know how to behave properly in public. Making a random family as ambassadors doesn't really make sense, since the situation is more of a court case with the Doctor acting as advocate to both sides, than a 'first contact' situation. Long story short, Rory dies. Again.

Then we come to Vincent and the Doctor which after careful review, was kind of decent in one way, but horrendous in another. The good of it was it dealt with depression and suicide in a way that kids could understand, which is a pretty phenomenal achievement when you think about it. The acting was pretty good too, and the ending where the Doctor tries to explain to Amy why van Gogh still offed it was pretty damn good. Unfortunately, here's where the bad comes in - van Gogh. He's genuinely one of the best artists the world has ever seen, but that's no reason to come in and write a complete television episode of fanwank to him, and that's a majority of what this episode was, especially towards the end where the Doctor brings Vincent forward in time just to show how much his work is appreciated in the modern day. I suppose I can't think of another way to approach these heavy topics, so I'll give this episode a decent rating and leave it at that.

And then we come to The Lodger, where the Doctor has forgotten all about acting like a human for no reason, especially since he's been on Earth for the majority of his life (if 900 years of phone box travel is to be believed). Craig is a decent and sympathetic character too, and comes across as an average guy trying to fucking get by in the world. Somebody say something about the friend zone. Anyway, the climax of the episode shows us an alien-ish time ship that resembles a TARDIS quite closely, which had so much potential to be something cool, but as we know, wink wink. I'd like to say that one of the things contributing to making this a great episode was the lack of Amy. So I will.

And then we come to the end of the series, the Pandorica duo. For some reason, all of the people that want to rule the universe (which you'd think kind of makes them want to fight over who gets dibs if this plan works) trap the Doctor in a box that's the same size on the inside as it is on the outside, completely ruining his day (and his impressive speech). He then flies to box into the sun to fix it, to reappear on Amy's wedding day to the Rachnoss' chagrin. Every time they want to fuck up a wedding...

-----

This season was a distinct improvement from series 3 through the specials. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was a lot more enjoyable to watch than anything penned by Russell T. Davies. The characterisation was tons better, although Amy really annoyed me for some reason. Or maybe it was the fandom's reaction to Amy? I'm not sure. You had to feel sorry for Rory, though (tehe, that rhymes).

Not because he keeps dying and coming back, but because he basically gets ditched for the imaginary friend. Imagine your girlfriend ditches you for her imaginary friend (some of you may need to start by imagining you had a girlfriend). The problem with imaginary friends is that they're practically impossible to outdo - the coolness of the imaginary friend is dependent on how good your imagination is, and if your imaginary friend wasn't that cool, you're probably watching the wrong show.

As usual, the universe is at stake at the end of the series, with the Earth as a focal point, because someone cannot be fucked thinking of something else to be at stake:

S1 - The Earth (and presumably the rest of the universe) was threatened by Daleks.
S2 - The Earth (and presumably the rest of the universe) was threatened by the Cybermen and the Daleks.
S3 - The Earth (and presumably the rest of the universe) was threatened by the Right Honourable Master. Out of curiousity, was he with the Conservative party?
S4 - The Earth (and definitely the rest of the universe) was threatened by the Daleks. Again.
S4.5 - The Earth (and definitely the rest of the universe) was threatened by the Time Lords.
S5 - The Earth (which was its own universe) was threatened by entropy and a single Dalek.

Do the writers really think that if the Earth isn't threatened/put on the brink of destruction/etcetera (the Earth is within the universe, read a book), that little children will stop giving a shit because they're not directly affected? Or the big children for that matter?

Overall, though, it was a good kickoff for Matt Smith, who seems as wacky as Tennant without the angsty glares. And he's got a bow tie. You know the rest. Anyway, I'm going to have to hurry up and download the first half of Series 7 so I can shit all over that (I feel left out), but first: Series 6 - The Audience Who Waited.

 

What I got from that...what that apparently you either didn't watch the series you just reviewed, or you were high when you did so.

 

So, I'll admit that I haven't watched any of the new season yet, but I have a question that I hope someone can answer for me- why, exactly, are/were the Ponds back?

I like them, but I can't help but feel that 'The God Complex' and then 'The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe' set it up so that the Ponds were removed from the show in a suitable manner that allowed them to return in future one-off episodes if a writer wanted to. It also gives us the interesting idea of the Doctor actually making sure to visit at least some of his companions on a regular basis, which the Christmas special seemed to be building up to.

I mean, what purpose did it have, storywise?

 

You know, these reviews all started because I got told off by the vast majority of people here that I was being too negative. So I was actively trying to find things to be positive about. And now I'm getting told off because I'm too positive?

Is there anything perhaps you'd like to talk about from Series 5? Or are you just being a whiny little nag like most other Scottish women.

 

Watch the new season. I'm not going to spoil anything, but you'll get your answers there.

It's implied that he's an independent, since he mentions that all of his supporters ditched their own parties to jump on his bandwagon.

 

That was a joke; the BBC would not so randomly alienate the Conservative party (now in power) in a one-off stupid line from a kids show.