Title: The Pureblood Princess
Author: TheEndless7
Rating: M
Genre: Romance
Chapters: 19
Words: 190,399
Updated: February 18, 2013
Published: April 27, 2011
Status: Complete
Library Category: Romance
Pairings: Harry/Daphne
Summary: Daphne Greengrass always had a plan. She liked being organized. But the Dark Lord's return at the end of her fifth year derailed everything, and now she must decide who will best help her find the life she always wanted.

FanFiction.Net

I've been following this story since it first started but only decided to post now due to it being over 100k words.

I've noticed two other stories by this author on here, one that a lot of you didn't like, and one that you thought was ok.

Personally, I really like this one. It's set in Daphne's POV and follows her through sixth year, getting to know Harry, as well as good interactions with her Slytherin friends.

It shows them getting closer together throughout the year, with Harry still being in character, and acting as teenagers do.

I think it's a dolid 4/5 for now, which could go up, depending on how the author deals with the end of the year.


Checked by Minion, July 28, 2013

 

If I have to read another 5,000 words that all have to deal with Daphne shopping for a dress, than I'm going to have to rage.

Otherwise, this story is okay, but probably only 3/5. Maybe a 4/5 if it didn't go on forever about shit I couldn't care less about.

 

I also found it to be a tedious story, reminding me of why I despise first-person when the author has no sense of restraint and is content to simply yammer on about every trivial thing that she thinks should pop into the character's head: Pass the mashed potatoes. You didn't say please. Please pass the potatoes. She passed them and I put some on my plate even though I wasn't hungry. Pansy and Draco are having sex. While I keep saying I'm tired of hearing about it, I'll just bring it up every third paragraph. Oh, and then this minor character who means nothing to the story apparently has sexy eyes (but was a dick to my friend) and we had an insipid conversation where he hit on me but I wasn't interested. I like to read. A lot. And I really read a lot, but it's mostly to read ahead in my Muggle Studies, but I'm not like that Granger, even though I sort of am. I made brownies and Astoria helped; we used these ingredients. I really look good in a bikini. Blah, blah, blah. Boring as shit.

Stylistically, there's way too much telling, much of it clumsily done, a la:

"Tough day at the office?" my mother asked. My mother was a physician... [long telling sequence about her mother's occupation]

This kind of sequence, used over and over, means that the story has little by way of narrative flow and is painful to read.

2/5 and I think I'm being generous--particularly because I can't bring myself to respect any author who would write something like this:

 

Kinda interesting that he can write decently enough to carry a third-person narrative, but his first-person is as bad as you say. If this was his only story, I would've assumed him to be an outright terribad author, but his third-person really is better by some stretch.

 

While I have no problem with the author going on and on about trivial details, the lack of a war atmosphere is simply unacceptable. The Slytherins don't just shrug and leave Daphne alone if she starts going out with Potter. The Greengrass family would be slaughtered for association of their daughter with a 'filthy half-blood' mongrel.

3/5 for the ending of chapter 12.

 

The last chapter was incredibly tedious. I'd have been ok with this if it was actually a Romance/Drama, but as it is, it's just "The Daily Life of Daphne Greengrass (and assorted peripheral characters)".

Which is boring as fuck.

 

I knew just from the author that this was going to be a seriously bland, uninteresting story. The guy wrote 'Letters' and I wanted to tear my eyes out after the first couple chapters of this. This story isn't much different, but I gave it an honest effort. I severely doubt any HP/DG story that isn't written by a DLPer is going to get into the Library here anytime in the near future, and for good reason. They're all awful.

 

Reading this actually felt a little like what Taure's most recent work sets out to be - typical schoolgirl life at Hogwarts. With lots of little detail included.

However it felt a little too casual. From the very beginning I got the impression that the author was pulling from their own life to flesh out the scenes, from the language to the personalities that they had.... lots of it out of character. Having Pansy admit that Potter is hot to Daphne, in front of Draco & Theo.... ugh.

But it doesn't really set out to be anything ambitious. No real plot, self-serving scenes, some interesting glimpses behind slytherin's social scene, but no real appeal to me.

3/5, maybe.... doesn't deserve a 2. I'll give her a point for trying to be original.

 

Nah Sree, as for the half-blood comment, I was just being sarcastic. Yes, in canon, the only people who interacted with Harry are Malfoy and group. 'However', we also have no evidence that they supported Harry Potter in any way either, unlike in many stories where Daphne, Tracey and BLaise are more vocal about their protests to Malfoy.

As for politics part, some junior DE, who wants to curry favor with his lord might inform Voldemort of lovely Ms.Greengrass's interest in Harry.

The lack of war atmosphere still stands.

 

I'm not bothered by the lack of a war atmosphere as I don't think it was a goal of the story. Going by the author's history, it's not really their modus operandi as Letters barely touched on it while the other work I've skimmed, Quidditch World Cup and The Dark in Peace, have Voldemort defeated in some nonspecific method.

What does bother me about the story is the amount of prattling on about inane useless things the author does. It shouldn't take 1000+ words for Daphne to think about about a turkey sandwich, nor should changing clothes be 4 paragraphs long. There is just too many useless drawn out details that serve no purpose and fill the story with a lot of... nothing.

 

It's weirdly structured an badly executed, and the amount of attention that went into unimportant details is staggering.

But you all said that already.

The whole Plot - I like the rather refreshing view that Slytherins aren't portrayed a dark wizard training camp, and are rather human in their activities.

The excuse of pairing up characters for school work is a bit lazy, even though the idea of dual transfiguration was interesting, as I haven't seen it used anywhere else.

The romance parts are somewhat believable and relaxed, and it's mostly alright, even though dissecting every thought get's rather tiring.

It isn't so bad as to deserve two or less, but it isn't really that good. Still, I'll mark it in the subscriptions list just to see whether it improves along the way. The first person view certainly did become more focused and easier to read with time, even though it wasn't much. Or maybe that was me, finally getting hang of the flow.

In any case, 2.75/5 -> 3.

 

It's not a bad pioneer attempt into the now-evolving genre of "how about we come at this from the perspective of someone more normal" which seems to be getting more and more common on ffn, but as everyone says, I found it rather bland and difficult to get through (a single chapter).

It's one of those fics that seems to create the reaction of "I know this will probably get better, but I just really can't bring myself to read anymore even if it does".

 

If it lost about 70000 irrelevant words, it would ok as a guilty pleasure that your rush through when you're really bored. Otherwise it's a massive chore.

2.5/5

 

I actually quite enjoyed it. It's a pleasant first person romance story with a good take on Daphne. The major criticism I have is the muggleisms from the earlier chapters. The Greengrasses have a dishwasher?!? Seriously?

3/5

 

Frankly, I don't think this even merits the Recycling Bin. Whilst it might be of similar quality to stories in there, it's just not good enough to be called average.

As already mentioned, the stylistic part of it is abysmal. The only redeeming quality of the story in my opinion is the fact that it accurately portrays Slytherin as a house of teenagers and not, to paraphrase Krisha, a dwelling for junior Death Eaters.

That she also fails to make teenage life uninteresting is just another failure in this pile of hippogriff manure.

 

Hmm, I have been reading too many evil!Slytherins stories out there. I simply forgot that they are just teenagers. Another thing that bothered me is the ooc'ness of Draco Malfoy. In canon, he was already boasting about doing something for the Dark Lord in the Slytherin compartment openly and that certainly isn't the case here.

 

I agree with Greener reading it felt like typical school girl's life in Hogwarts .
Maybe the later chapters were good but i couldn't bring myself to get past the first ones .
2/5

 

Anti-cliche stories are inherently limited to 3/5 quality at best. We note that, yeah, Slytherins are portrayed as regular teenagers... but that's only because the cliche being reversed never deserved to be institutionalized in the first place.