Title: Harry Potter: Junior Inquisitor
Author: Sprinter1988
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
Pairing: -
Status: WIP
Summary: Before the start of fifth year, Dumbledore changes the plans. Unfortunately he didn't bother to inform Harry. At his trial, Harry realises that it is down to him to save his own skin. To do so, his Slytherin side must come out to play, and once it's out, it sticks around. Now Dumbledore and the Ministry alike must watch their backs…
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8914586/1/Harry-Potter-Junior-Inquisitor

Came across this fic and it's pretty good ...

The basic plot is a bit run-of-the-mill ... you know, Harry finds out that Dumbledore is a manipulative so-and-so his friends are traitorous sos-and-sos, he is some rich guy who finds out he has a godmother whose existence he did not know of (along with many other things) because of, well, Dumbledore. And thus, he shall strike out on his own!

But the difference is how he deals with Dumbledore's shenanigans.

Generally many of those fics have Harry saying and doing things opposing the Ministry as well. He very bravely stands up and tells anyone who is within hearing range the truth.

This is the first one I've read where Harry decides to work for Fudge and Umbridge to further his goals.

The bashing is limited too.

I give it a 4/5
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Your review consists almost entirely of a list of reasons not to read this story; it sounds so bad.

 

It's like the author took any cliches and just threw them all together into one massive pile of terribleness.

 

I've been following this from basically the first chapter. The story is not Library quality in any sense -- it's the exact type of fic that belongs in Almost Recommended. It has a couple of good ideas, but they're lost amid the bad ideas and poor execution.

The "good idea" here is the idea that Dumbledore isn't there to defend Harry during his hearing in OotP and Harry is forced, out of self-preservation, to rescind his "Voldemort is back" claims and join the Ministry against Dumbledore. It's a novel idea and it has lots of potential for interesting conflict, such as a Harry who has to balance his new debt to the Ministry with his knowledge that Voldemort is back and his secret continued sympathy to the Order.

Unfortunately, the author doesn't take that direction, opting to avoid interesting conflict and rather go for a cookie cutter mustache-twirling villainous Dumbledore while Harry strolls through every situation because his opponents are so hilariously inept.

Characterising Dumbledore as manipulative is canon, more or less, so that can work if done with a light touch and understanding that manipulative does not equate to bad/evil. Characterising him as evil is something of an extra step, but is a workable AU, given his past with Grindelwald. Characterising him as completely stupid, however, just doesn't work.

The bashing is not, as you say, limited. It forms the core plot of the story, which is basically this: Harry walks around being awesome compared to the cardboard cutouts that the author has set up for him to knock down. Dumbledore is about as smart as a moderately competent toddler and the other "villains" (Ron, Draco, Lucius) are about the same.

There's no conflict because the author has turned every opportunity for real conflict into a situation for Harry to grandstand. The whole thing gets repetitive after a while too, because -- as is typical in bashing stories -- the author has the idiots make the same mistakes over and over, with Harry lecturing them on how awesome he is in response, over and over. This is, I suppose, supposed to show just how amazingly superior Harry is to these cartoonish enemies.

The author is very sensitive about bashing, using both author's notes and a huge section on their profile to reiterate "don't like, don't read". Repeatedly they say "I warned you that this would be a bashing fic, so you can't complain".

What the author doesn't seem to get is that saying "I'm going to shit in your bed" before doing so does not excuse the act. Bashing is just objectively bad writing. Even if lots of people like it, it's still bad writing. It uses poorly developed characters as painfully transparent plot devices to artificially create easily-resolved token conflict.

The author's other serious problem is that they can't pace for shit. Several months of summer go by in a few chapters, then September 1st is something like 7 chapters long, and is basically repeated iterations of "Harry tells someone about his new position, they ignore him, he delivers a smackdown, they try to resist, he invokes a higher authority and gets his way". Again and again, repeated for the various bashed characters, for 7 chapters. All in one day. Setting aside how bad the bashing is, there's no reason why the author couldn't have spread those events over a much longer period of time -- say, September.

The author also can't write character voice. Every character has exactly the same voice, which is that of a teenage girl. At one point Amelia Bones says "Yes way".

Beyond the nugget of a good idea at the start, the main virtues of this story are technically competent narration and the characterisation of Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones.

2/5

 

My god you really tore this story a new one.

 

It was not my intention to come off as overly aggressive. As I said, the fic is of "Almost Recommendable" quality, which means it's readable and, at times, entertaining. I actually quite enjoyed the summer with Amelia and Susan Bones. I think the story has got stuck in a repetitive cycle of bashing now that Harry has returned to Hogwarts, though, and there are some fundamental problems with the fic's set-up.

 

If you think this is bad, you should see his "tearing up" the story "An Aunts Love" (which is honestly a trash story).

 

Lol, that wasn't me, it was Sree and Tinn.

 

Oh. Could've sworn you made that long ass review of it, tearing it to pieces by each chapter.

 

This story drowns in the writer's micromanaged character actions. Taure, 2/5 for this is really generous.

 

Bashing always struck me as odd. Why bash characters when you can make them better? if people think Ron is disloyal and a terrible friend why not write him as loyal? if people think Dumbledore is manipulative and stupid why not write him as supportive or at least intelligent? Bashing, by its very definition, makes a story worse as it necessitates poor characterization, repetitiveness, and curbstomps. I also find it odd as hell that the author uses Dumbledore not showing up to defend Harry as materiel for bashing when it is a thing of his own invention.
edit: 1/5, no amount of technically good writing can save a story from its first major plot point being the supposedly intelligent villain making the dumbest plan ever.

 

I think I can count on one hand the number of people that can write a decent Dumbledore, much less an intelligent one. It's much easier to make him bumbling and somewhat retarded, so they do that.

 

Dont know how I missed those threads.
I came here to find a fic to read, but I think those 2 threads were almost as good.

 

That was awesome! Almost makes me wish there was a hall of fame on DLP.

 

More like a Hall of Flame.

 

I remember this story. Unfortunately.

It is readable and hook was really interesting. Characterisation of Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones was OK. Everything else was bad or terrible.

It gets 1/5 from me, it was so bad that I stopped reading it (this is really rare for me, I am almost unable to stop reading something).

"The bashing is limited too." - this bashing was supposed to be limited? Seriously?

 

It's so generic and forgettable that I forgot I'd already tried to read it.. twice. It's borderline unreadable.

Why do (most) authors always make Dumbledore and Voldemort so damn stupid? Dumbledore may have manipulated Harry a little bit in canon but nothing like this, and it seems as though the author has conveniently forgot that Dumbledore is widely regarded as the smartest Wizard of his age.

 

Lawl. A little bit? Try tons.