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WIP Friends by Abused Wide Bellatris - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Yuli Ban, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2014
    Messages:
    7
    Location:
    In the dystopian, cyberpunk world of 2015 USica
    Title: Friends
    Author: Abused Wide Bellatris
    Rating: M
    Genre: Horror/Tragedy
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 21,698
    Updated: Aug 19, 2012
    Published: Feb 8, 2012
    Status: WIP
    Pairings: none
    Summary: AU. Instead of making new friends on the Hogwarts Express in 1995, Luna loses the only one she has. In the lonely year that follows, she discovers just how well the name 'Loony Lovegood' fits her. Insane!Luna. Very dark.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7816829/1/Friends

    I'm a sucker for schizophrenia stories, and Friends succeeded on all fronts. It's like Romantic literature how much Luna suffers in this fic. Every chapter is exponentially darker than the last, with the tight prose glazed on for that extra sweetness. It's childlike in a way, too innocent, and it only makes Lovegood's descent into a (realistic) psychotic madness all the more beautiful.

    I parenthesize realistic because too many people think murderous bloodthirsty cunning sadist = psychotic. Not this one. Oh no, it's uncomfortably realistic how far into psychological horror Luna falls. I thought 'very dark' in the summary would just be a passive addendum. Oh, how terribly wrong I was! It's torture!porn for the mind, the utter destruction of an innocent girl!

    This very well may be one of the darkest Harry Potter fanfictions on the Internet.

    I give it a 4 out of 5. It loses points because some characters are inexplicably OOC with no other explanation than "Luna Lovegood must suffer." A proper build on why so would be appreciated.
     
  2. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Death Eater

    Joined:
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    975
    Location:
    Right behind You...
    ...

    I honestly don't know what to say after reading that. It definitely deserves a spot here, but I need to think a while on a proper review.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I need to scour the internet for kittens and boobs. After reading that story, I am in desperate need of something happy.
     
  3. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Two blocks from the beach.
    High Score:
    2,249
    Meh, angsty torture porn. No thanks. DLP is better than this.

    Technically competent.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2014
  4. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Saturn
    It was alright as far as writing. However I don't like stories that are dark and grim with no other redeeming factor. So the whole thing came off as boring and slightly depressing.

    1/5
     
  5. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2014
    Messages:
    7
    Location:
    In the dystopian, cyberpunk world of 2015 USica
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2014
  6. A.K.$J6-J5

    A.K.$J6-J5 Seventh Year

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    London
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2014
  7. Zennith

    Zennith Pebble Wrestler ~ Prestige ~

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    High Score:
    1,928
    Sure.

    As WD notes, this is sort of proficient, but eminently pointless. 1/5.
     
  8. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
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    When a story repeats "Loony Lovegood" more times than any other phrase, you know it's bad.