Title: Rise of the Uchiha
Author: AlphaEph19
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure
Status: WIP
Published: Jun 19, 2011
Updated: Sep 15
Chapters: 45
Words: 348,475
Fandoms: Naruto
Pairings: None solidified
Summary: One decision can change the world, but it's not as easy to change it back again. To his shame, Itachi saves his brother at the cost of losing his village. Now the shinobi of Konoha are enslaved or scattered, hearts full of vengeance but bereft of hope. As for Naruto, he is finally acknowledged... by Madara. When the battle lines are drawn, how will he know where to stand?
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7096419/1/Rise-of-the-Uchiha

I was honestly surprised that this was not in the library.

This long story is actually fucking epic. The story is interesting to say the least - the Uchiha Coup succeeded, with Madara at the helm, all due to Itachi's hesitance. They enslaved or chased out many loyal Konoha shinobi using the Caged Bird Seal, and took over Konoha. This leads to a larger scale, the characters growing and becoming stronger, having their own beliefs and being pitted with each other in a land of shades of gray.

The following will have slight spoilers - it shouldn't be bad, however.

While it's a bit slow, the story has interesting, if slightly modified characters. Some of them are genuinely likeable - Madara, at times, acts like a pretty smart and kind guy, only to show us that ruthless bastard way. Many of the newer Naruto chapters' and their plots have been changed, and frankly, this would read just as well without reading or watching Naruto prior.

It follows mostly Sasuke and Naruto, and the Konoha 9 to a lesser degree. In another interesting twist, Sasuke and Itachi have been branded traitors, and travel with fury against the Uchiha. Naruto has been adopted by Madara, and given a team who are - while OCs - quite interesting and believable. The Konoha 9 haev been sent to Suna, where they end up friendwashing Garra.

All this culiminates into a whole lot of awesome, with interesting fight scenes involving cunning, but not giving away the stupid not-ninja-but-totally-ninja Naruto style while not going into DBZ territory.

It's a damn good read, and I give it a solid 5/5.

 

I remember reading this a long time ago, but I stopped following it for a couple reasons.

I really enjoyed the bits with Naruto and the Uchiha, but I remember skimming through most of the fights, as well as the konoha 9 in Suna. I really liked the early Hinata and Naruto scenes, though.

Some parts I didn't like were

Spoiler

when the author spent a ton of chapters on the conflict with Sasuke, Itachi, and the Mist. The author ignored Naruto and Konoha for the better part of an entire arc.

I also hated what the author did with Hinata when she was spirited away from Konoha.

I also don't really like any of the good guys in this fic. I don't like Jiraiya, Tsunade, Kakashi, any of the Konoha 9 in Suna, and so on. Something about the way they are written made me roll my eyes. I haven't read it in a while, but I stopped reading it mainly because of I didn't like most of the characters, with the exception of Naruto and Madara.

Naruto also gets the Sharingan in this, which makes sense for the fic, I guess, but changed how Naruto fought.

All things considered, it was a decent read. There were parts I enjoyed and parts that I trudged through. Probably worth the read just for the Uchiha/Naruto interactions and the interesting set up in Konoha under Uchiha rule.

 

I don't really see much of your issues as bad, though that might be personal bias. Focusing on the Mist was pretty interesting, and Naruto-centric stories are becoming dull for me - it's a nice change of pace. I'll admit, the Konoha 9 are a bit iffy, but it works, for most part. And you can't exactly say that the story isn't original, if nothing else.

 

I see what you mean, and I did like the story, it was just some parts that were off putting to me. It does a lot of stuff right too, though.

Spoiler

Sharingan Naruto was actually done well and makes sense to the story, unlike many other attempts by other authors.

I'd probably rate it at about 3.5 stars. I made it a decently far way into the fic (all the way to the chunin exam arc), but I also don't like it when a fic has really long fights. That's just my personal preference. It's been awhile since I've read it, so maybe it's changed.

 

I totally get that - I have a fair bit of bias towards the setting and style, and it's totally understandable that some would have a bias against it. I just wanted to cement that it's not in anyway a bad story. Sorry if I was a bit rude in my rebuttal.

 

I liked Madara a lot, and though I have some problems with Naruto, his growth is at least interesting to follow. I didn't give a shit about pretty much any other character, though. And considering how the fic seemed to be around 70% not focused on Naruto... it just got so boring. I ended skipping a whole bunch.

To enjoy this fic, you really need to care about a wide cast of characters made quite OC in a very different universe.

3/5 from me. Biased, though.

 

I actually used to be pretty into this fic, but

Spoiler

the newest chapter had Naruto offering to feed Madara (his adoptive father) to the Kyuubi in exchange for its cooperation or something like that. All due to talking with Minato in the seal...

Don't get me wrong, it could've worked, but I feel that it was a change made too abruptly for me to be able to swallow.

 

Nah, it's cool, I didn't think you were being rude. I was really into this fic when it was about 50k words and I enjoyed it for a long while. It's not a bad story and it is worth a read if you're a Naruto fan.

 

Quite intriguing. Do you know of any other good stories, where the Uchiha coup succeeded?

 

I once read some of this story, but I've missed a lot of the later chapters. My main beef with it is that it's extremely improbable that it's going to end in a way I would be satisfied with. Naruto will either turn on the man who raised him or be ultimately defeated. I find both of those outcomes distasteful. It seems like spitting in the wind to think that the author will allow an ending where the 'good guys' who aren't Naruto and thus subject to my complete and total apathy, will not prevail over Madara.

 

I've really tried reading it, managed to get to chapter 12.
But what killed the story for me was that Naruto is just like he normally is, brash, spamming clones and when it gets remotely difficult, Kyubi mode.

Sad because I really liked the concept of the story, even if the fight scenes were a little dry for my tastes.

3/5.

 

I slogged my way through this, with a couple of multi-day stops because... I just couldn't keep reading after some of the more ridiculous story arcs and stuff that showed up.

Below is just a rant that's built up from reading it within the course of about a week. There were so many times I was reading and just questioned why I kept doing so, like a train wreck. Anyway, these are not nearly all of my grievances, but some notable ones.

Spoiler

-- Super-awesome Black Ops 'Sandstorm' squad, effectively self-taught in regards to their clan techniques, but much better than experienced ninja, while also becoming highly skilled in a secondary combat style, and also with the extra special never-before-crafted armor, with infinite quantity weapons storage seals, and blah blah.

-- Seven Swordsmen' Swords given away as rewards like candy. Also Ninja Vampire Bats(with terrible names). A concept with some potential, but poor execution, in particular the 'sacrifice to seal the Sanbi' scene.

-- Hinata, as she has been developed.

-- The complete ridiculousness that was the second task of the Chuunin Exams. Yes, with people like Kakuzu and Deidara presiding(considering the first task as well), let alone numerous other people in the village at all, the sheer number of people that 'snuck in' is just outright stupid. Even ignoring everything else, Roshi?(ignoring the absolute jobbing he obviously did) An old Jinchuuriki not only snuck in, but released a massive amount of demonic chakra ever before his stupid suicide technique, and nobody noticed in the slightest.
And the loose end from the C/Darui/Yugito vs Suigetsu/Sasuke/Haku fight(I wonder if the author will ever bring that full circle).
Many, but not all, of the preliminary fights, as showcases of how unexpectedly amazing Sandstorm and Hinata, but not a completely healthy Kimimaro(not one of the first truly overpowered non-jinchuuriki characters to show up in the canon series, despite being terminally ill, and losing by killing himself, rather than the opponent killing him, no sirree) are.
Also, Akemi does the stupid, when normally her character wouldn't make that kind of decision, and throws her match. Ignoring the fact that, unless I'm mistaken(which I very well could be), an Uchiha by blood would practically have to be absolutely dead-tired on their feet to be incapable of maintaining the Sharingan. If she can still keep fighting at a 'ninja' level, then she could have maintained her Sharingan as well.

-- Meanwhile, Naruto is mostly ineffective against any of these opponents, except for Roshi, likely the most actually powerful of them. Well, except for when it's author appropriate to catch someone with his special Tsukuyomi. He just doesn't seem to know, well, anything, aside from clones, the occasional deus-ex-Tsukuyomi, and now his apparently worthless Susanoo. Apparently a fully in-control 3-4 tailed bijuu-chakra manifestation from a theoretically well trained Naruto really isn't very strong either.

This is also especially baffling after the month long one-on-one training with an even more literal God-of-Shinobi than the holder of the title, Sarutobi. If Sasuke could have such improvement in a mere month under Kakashi, then one would think that this not-ignorant-and-actually-diligent-and-educated Naruto could do more than just learn how to project an essentially worthless version of Susanoo in one month's time.

-- Then come the Finals, with the Sakura/Kimimaro match being an absolute ass-pull. Her winning? Highly unlikely, but not unwritable. The way that she went about doing so... essentially impossible.
Not only are his chakra-enhanced bones when he was sick(and the ones in the bone field) notably 'stronger than steel' too(also essentially invulnerable to a chakra scalpel by that virtue), and is able to resist attacks by Hashirama himself in this story, but here they break almost like twigs, and it is implied that Sakura took his bone, and within a few minutes, successfully analyzed a chemical composition(which as even a reviewer pointed out is entirely irrelevant to the fact that it's chakra enhanced, not chemically) and devised a poison specifically targeted to his genetic pattern, then dispersed it in a gas form such that it disabled his bones within seconds.
I just...

Also, Sasuke's method of fighting against and defeating Gaara. Glass? As if turning the sand to glass would remotely stop Gaara from just turning the glass back into sand with barely any effort. Also, as someone pointed out, all things aside, if Kirin glassed Gaara's final defense, Gaara sure as hell wouldn't have survived. I mean, not that Kirin would likely take down a demon-chakra manifested Gaara(especially one that is much greater trained than canon at this stage, and using a damned counter-element when on defense!), but that's a different issue.

-- Then Naruto and his essentially worthless Susanoo.

-- After all this, perhaps most egregious of all, is the complete Face-Heel turn of Naruto deciding to kill his 'Father', Madara, within less than a Chapter. I say Face-Heel turn, because this is a decidedly negative moralistic act, in light of his development across the rest of the story up to this point.
Some reviewers even think it's a shining example of the opposite, and he's 'finally seen the light and going to bring Madara to the justice he deserves!' Or something like that.

-- Also, Minato randomly physically changing Naruto's eyes back to blue with a wave of his hand inside Naruto's mindscape.

-- Random note. Itachi somehow getting the Mangekyo... from killing the father that he hates absolutely? Or from feeling sad about not staying alive for Sasuke? Either way, sounds like it's likely just a way to have something occur like "Finish me Sasuke, achieve the Mangekyo, then take my eyes and obtain the Eternal Mangekyo!"

It's annoying, because there are underlying elements, like the complete turning on it's head that actually made Madara one of the most dynamic and sympathetic characters, while the large majority of the former 'good guys' have practically become caricatures. Their overarching 'positive' goal is shrouded in their own deep shade of negativity, that they're not quite the knights in shining armor they make themselves out to be.

Turning them into caricatures of what they could be aside, the store as a concept has some nice ideas, and sometimes they accord themselves well, but there are many times where it just makes a discerning reader cringe.

I suppose... 3/5.

It is legible, and I don't recall writing errors being with anything remotely approaching a frequency that would detach me from the reading. There are good ideas, and some of it is executed well. Ultimately though, there are just large swaths of disappointing material that precludes me giving it a higher score.

 

Everything you ranted about was fine by me, up until the Face-Heel Turn you mentioned. Some of the things did bug me, but I could overlook them, that final thing though? I might skim any updates to see how it's going, but unless something changes there quickly (such as it being an act), I don't think I'll enjoy the rest of it very much.