I didn't like it, it seems like all the other bad "dark" fanfiction out there, "Greater good" Dumbledore, "Bad" James Potter, "Father" Snape... it's bad.

 

I find it to be pretty good actually. A solid 4/5 in both grammar and plot.
Honestly, if I read this back in 05/06/07 when it was first being written, I'd give it a full 5/5 with room to spare.

 

Hmm, bits of it I rather like. Bits of it are fucking awful.

Perhaps it's just my sensitivities impeding me, but I give this a 3/5.

That said, I'll keep reading it, though... how often does this actually update?

 

It's not that James is irrationally bad. It's just that he's particularly nasty to Harry for a rather specific reason.

Spoiler

]The Alternate Harry, who is a Death Eater, apparently killed his younger brother and blinded his sister, amongst other things.

And Snape... well...

Spoiler

James cheated on Lily once, and Lily went off to fuck Snape, got pregnant and kept the kid. The exact quote for that is as follows:

"Ten years is a long time! I've kept this secret for that long. James doesn't know about Jessica. He doesn't know I had one night with you. I wanted my revenge on him for having that affair."

She then goes on to say other delightful little things.

"Oh come on, Sev, like you really cared. As long as you had me, you didn't care why I had come to you, crying and miserable, even though I never felt anything for you. I came to you for support and things just happened... and it felt thrilling that I was getting back at James for hurting me!"

So yeah. It's a rather fucked up world.

 

The word subtlety is lost on this author. I don't know how many embarrassingly open dialogues I can take. Also on the one hand I can appreciate how we didn't get Harry's story taken at face value, but it wasted a whole lot of words on the will they won't they.

Honestly, this fic would have been loads better without canon Harry and just about everything he brings to the narrative. Mirror Harry is a lot more compelling despite how edgy he is.

 

Okay, I tried it again, and its even worse.
2/5 for me.

 

Okaaaay. I guess I just skipped over the scenes where the other Potter children were involved. Father!Snape is revolting.




My rating's now 2.5/5, I like the beginning too much to go any lower. This story is still notable in my opinion, but you're right that this does not belong in the library. Not gonna try and fake sticking to my guns over this, and I'm purging this from my favorites list.

Dropped the ball on this one, sorry fellas. I guess in my understanding of the world apparently good writers don't fuck up like this.

Constant Vigilance.

 

Odran saved me from wasting my time. Thanks for the review.

 

That this depressing shit has a 3/5 rating the same as the awesome Burgundy Blues is really depressing.

I mean, has the author really wanted to make us click the 'x' on the top right after seeing canon Harry being repeatedly raped in prison for no other reason than the following Snape sarcastic healing touch of "get over it Potter I still hate you, though you aren't even from this world!"?

I think she did...

 

Oh, I'm a little sad this fic didn't make it in the library. But I have to be honest. When I concocted this fic, it was originally meant to be my bad!fic experiment, with a whole load of HP fic cliches and character bashings. I wanted annoying OC Potter children. I wanted to see if a bad!fic would get better responses than a well written fic back in 2005. I also had no clue what I was writing.

However, after abandoning the fic for many years I decided to come back to it and make it somewhat better. Although to the majority of you, it still is a bad fic. I rewrote chapters and added scenes. And I wanted to make a dark dystopian world that was to my liking. I found a lot of fics I read below NC-17 did not satisfy me.

The Atoners are bad. BAD idea? Maybe, but I don't regret that element, because in a world where war has damaged everyone and the Ministry are very corrupt, I doubt a lot of people would care about the injustices happening to the prisoners in Azkaban. The Atoners, being petty criminals themselves, and with the Ministry turning a blind eye, would've enjoyed their power, and had very little boundaries and anyone controlling them.

I do have my regrets. For one, it is very hard to get a beta and keep one for the fic. So yeah, I do have a lot of trouble with dialogue. Dialogue is a weakness of mine, even in RL. SPAG is also an issue. I also regret the Father!Snape plotline. I now feel it cheapens Lily and Snape's characters. How can I get myself out of that one?

And no, I did not have Harry suffer Azkaban to be at the Mercy of a hateful Snape.

Sorry you guys hate the fic. But it's still my baby, and I'm open to improvement.

 

Kill Lily, Snape, their daughter, and never ever mention them again.

 

HA! That's too simple, sorry.

 

You could post it in the WBA if you're having trouble finding a beta

 

Thanks for letting me know.

At the moment I have found a beta who has done 2 chapters so far, and I'll see how far they will go. I just want to see this fic to completion. It will be a decade since I started, next year. You can pretty much see how my writing style has changed, haha.

WBA will be plan B.