Title: Not Quite A Maia
Author: Naebody's Aunty (formerly Kara's Aunty)
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Humor
Status: Work in Progress
Library Category: The Alternates
Pairings: None
Summary: Middle Earth has a problem: Gandalf the Grey is AWOL in Time & Space after destroying the Balrog of Khazad-dûm. But who will take his place in the Quest to defeat the Dark Lord Sauron? Not who you think... HP/LOTR Crossover. Wildly AU!
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4838629/1/Not-Quite-A-Maia

This is a Neville-centric story wherein he is plucked out of the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts and placed with the Fellowship by the Valar to replace Gandalf after his fall in Moria, along with Molly Weasley.

No, I know, it's not an inspiring beginning, is it? This story is really good, though, especially by crossover standards. Neville, being Neville, doesn't break the LotR universe in the same way that an adult Harry often does, while Molly, for the first time in fanfiction history, is likable, powerful (relative to everyone around her, anyway), and well-realized. The writing is good and the humor nearly always genuinely funny. The dialogue between the wizards and the LotR characters feels right as does their interaction with the greater plot of the Fellowship and the War of the Ring, and Neville finally gets a proper hero's quest of his own even if he isn't the Boy-Who-Lived. This is a long fic that starts a little slowly, but if you can push through all the Valar nonsense then it is excellent.

Oh, and I wouldn't want to say too much, but this is also probably the only fic you will ever read that will make you describe Augusta Longbottom as "badass".

This might be in the library already - I seem to remember a thread about it - but I also can't find it anywhere, so I'm putting it up. Apologies if it is a repost.

 

Dat premise doe. Dat premise.

The classic swashbuckling high fantasy comedic pairing of Neville Longbottom and Molly fucking Weasley.

 

Bumped to gain attention.

Just one review and three votes for a HP/LotR crossover? Really?


I'll give this until Sunday before I move it.

Oh, and while you are in here, don't forget to look at the other fics posted for review: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/forumdisplay.php?f=40

 

Sorry, I love HP/LoTR but I want, you know, Harry Potter.

 

I read parts of this because of the awesome premise but found it not interesting enough to continue after a while. I voted 3/5 but it's pretty far from 4 imo.

 

Seriously? This is beyond lame.

 

I'm gonna need Steelbadgers seal of approval before I touch this.

 

Urgh, Pirazy, I've had a little tingling of guilt about not reading this fic for some time, you just had to go and remind me.

I've made five separate attempts to read this story and have failed dismally every time. This time 'round I managed to get 10 chapters in (out of 54, really not good going) and I tried desperately to work out why I was getting basically no enjoyment from it.

First of all I think the biggest issue I have with it is that it's about the shallowest crossover I can imagine (well, short of the 'who's the hot new guy at Hogwarts? *gasp* It's Legolas!' type stories). Everyone just happens to speak the same language, HP magic is given no real explanation within the LotR cosmology and as a result everything LotR just gets curb-stomped.

It's like a crack fic except... it's not. Augusta Longbottom gives Saruman boobs and I didn't really find it funny. I was in a good mood today when I decided to give it one last go and I still didn't so much as crack a smile. It's 500k+ words long and I was already bored in 50k. To be honest all the Valar stuff at the beginning made sure I was bored straight away. Once my mind was in that place I couldn't get into it. It's so heavy on bland thoughts and conversations that I found myself skipping huge chunks to find stuff that was even vaguely interesting.

Then we get to a combat scene and it's over in a few paragraphs.

But what I keep coming back to is how the crossover is handled. The issue I see is that the author seems to be trying to keep the Harry Potter magic grounded within the setting but still uses it to solve every single problem.

The author takes Augusta's wand off her when she's briefly captured by Saruman but she can do just enough wandless magic to ensure she can get it back pretty easily (Accio!). Oh, well that's good.

Molly immediately decides to Apparate across the entire planet (across planes of existence as well as Valinor no longer resides within the circles of the world) before realising just how far it is and goes 'Oh, well I can't apparate thousands of miles'. Manwe then goes, 'Oh, here's a power-up, now you can. Tada!'

It doesn't know what it wants to be. It's a very bloated crack-fic without the swagger. It's a gigantic adventure fic without any sense of threat. It's a character drama which fails to pull any real emotion from me. It's a HP/LotR crossover where lots of LotR words are used but none of them mean anything.

And finally, I just can't find it in me to care much about Neville, or Molly or any of the characters really. Because of the crack-ish 'HP curbstomps everything' feel there's no concern about what will happen to them. They're guaranteed to win and they'll do it in some way that demeans the LotR setting.

I obviously don't mind someone taking the piss out of the LotR (cough cough) but in some ways it feels almost like a bashing fic.

That's what it is. It fills me with exactly the same apathy as something like Harry Crow. In that the wizarding world is crapped on endlessly in order to wank Goblins. In Not Quite A Maia it's the LotR setting that's on the receiving end while Harry Potter gets wanked.

That said it seems to be competently written (I admit I didn't look too closely as I just couldn't give enough shits) and if you're the kind of person who thinks LotR is stupid because they could totally have just used the Eagles to fly to Mount Doom (the LotR equivalent to subscribing to Dumbledore!Bashing) then you'll probably like this.

So it's a 2.5/5 from me but because I'm feeling charitable it's gonna hit a 3. Some folk might enjoy it.

 

I would generally agree that this is an "Almost Recommended" for most people on DLP. However, I don't think the story really showcases itself well early on - the humor isn't nearly as dumb later, apart from the, yeah, really overplayed running Saruman gag, and the character development is a lot less shallow. This doesn't excuse the early chapters at all but I feel I should justify why I felt it was review-worthy in the first place. It improves steadily enough that I feel it's worth a read despite the initial slog, but I can certainly understand why someone wouldn't want to, also.