Title: Gryffindors Never Die
Author: ChipmonkOnSpeed
Genre: Humor/Friendship/Timetravel
Category: Humor
Chapters: 18
Words: 74,394
Updated: Dec 29, 2010
Published: Nov 5, 2010
Status: Complete
Pairings: Canon Pairings: Harry/Ginny
Summary:
Harry and Ron, both 58 and both alcoholics, are sent back to their 4th year and given a chance to do everything again. Will they be able to do it right this time? Or will history repeat itself? Cannon to Epilogue, then not so much...

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6452481/1/Gryffindors-Never-Die


The story is quite old, and I already mentioned it in several story search threads.

The story starts ‘Fourty Years Later’ – 21 years after the canon-epilogue. Ron is the current Minister for Magic, and Harry is his Chief Executioner. From the afterlife everyone who died during the war is watching the scene which is about to unfold, the annual Weasley Halloween Party, and especially Lily doesn’t like what she sees. And she intends to set things right.

That’s where the story starts: Harry and Ron, both borderline alcoholics, insane, and who know what else, suddenly are back at Hogwarts, shortly before the start of the Triwizard Tournament.

It’s not really brilliant, but a fun read and a nice timewaster. In-character Harry and Ron are adult bros, behaving as such, and the author uses it to deliver some great lines. Though the quality varies and the protagonists aren’t continuously consistent.

Nevertheless it was still quite amusing when I reread it some time ago. Thus I rate it 4/5.

 

This hasn't been recced so far?

Wow.

Anyway, a very humorous attempt at a disillusioned Harry with a mature Ron being transported to their GoF selves. Though, actually, only Harry is portrayed as an alcoholic while Ron is more normal in that regard.

I always return to this fic after some time, since it's so funny you can't stop but giggle like a schoolgirl at some of the dialogue.

It has its problems though. It likes to preach at points and sometimes that preaching can become jarring. If you can get over that it can be very nice.

Very strong 4/5

EDIT: actually, now that I think on this, this fic is best at the onset and gets worse as it goes on. Though it has its moments later on, it starts to sort of lose steam as it progresses. Keep that in mind. Though some of the dialogue is still beyond hilarious.

 

Going to reread it and give it a proper review later, but from memory it started off strong then towards the end just became a authors mouthpiece against homophobia, child sex abuse and a mirage of other issues.

Spoiler

Rons uncle touched him, fucking serious?

Strong start, shit finish. 3/5 at best. Will reread to see if shit as remembered.

 

I thought it looked interesting, but the fact that it misspelt canon as cannon in its summary meant I refused to read it on principle. Maybe if it gets enough positive reviews, I'll give it a go.

 

I found it a solid guilty pleasure, one that works for a re-reading. A few scenes made me laugh out loud or were otherwise noteworthy...

Spoiler

Pretty much every scene with Harry and Ron riling up McGonagall, Deer Hunting, "Got your six," killing Umbridge

...but others came off as ham-handed (endless iterations of drunkenness, Harry's emo moments, much of the Harry/Dumbledore conflict) or preachy.

I think it's Almost Recommended territory, though at the upper end of it.

3/5.

 

Thank you for that insightful review of the story.


I remember reading this a while back, and it hasn't aged well. I'll give it a 2/5 because I enjoy the relationship between Ron and Harry and that it doesn't take itself too seriously but there were a couple of serious issues -

Spoiler

Harry returning all the goblin made items and causing other families to do the same, in the process becoming a friend to the goblin nation was difficult to read. Harry also takes it upon himself to lecture Dumbledore several times throughout the story, and I can't make my mind up whether Dumbledore deserves it or not because his characterisation is so inconsistent - he's sympathetic, then sad and misguided, or he just straight up mentally assaults Harry through legilimency. The pacing itself is pretty bad and there's this one scene where Harry's abusive childhood is broadcasted to the entire school via some plot device in an attempt to show how tragic Harry's past is. I didn't bother finishing it.

 

I've tried to read this a few times and never made it through more than a few chapters. I can see how one would be willing to overlook the stupid parts if it was funny enough, but the humor doesn't work for me.

 

This ^.... If the story is humorous, you MIGHT be able to ignore how bad this story is.... But the humor didn't work with me... The pure unrealistic reactions from Dumbledore are baffling in scope...

 

The more I read it the more I realized that the author has no clue where he wants to take it... or rather what he wants the story to be. It started off promising enough. The humour was good and got a few chuckles out of me. But it suffers a serious dip in quality afterwards. Especially when the author suddenly decided to take the angsty route and I lost interest completely. I can barely tolerate angst even when done well and here it was handled very poorly. The humour was the one good thing about this story and it deviated from that. It is not original, the concept has been explored in better ways by better authors. I don't think it deserves a place in the library.

 

Your adulation is acknowledged, but wholly unnecessary.

Anyway, I gave the story a shot. I don't get the appeal. At all.

The writing is bad, the characterizations and interactions utterly unrealistic. The humor didn't work for me either.

2/5 at best.

 

I honestly wasn't terribly fond of either Harry or Ron in this. There were a few amusing moments here and there, but I wouldn't call this library-quality humor.

3/5, guilty pleasure.

 

It started okey, I can stomach the deus ex lily and the alcoholic Harry and Ron, but the whole touching thing, Dumbledore-s reaction to them(blaming them for everything) and then at the end with the killing umbridge and the whole 'battle'.

I would say 3/5 for the effort and crack.

1,5/5 for reals.

 

I remembered this story from way back when I liked it up untill the point where they decided to get with their 'wives'. Who happened to be about 14. Bailed out there.

Now I can't stand it from the start. The scene with Dumbledore is just weird. Harry has an opportunity to learn whatever he ever wanted about him, but chooses to watch boring Wizangamot meetings. This just doesn't jell well with the hard-ass executioner persona he is supposed to be sporting.

 

I think it's consistent with how Harry was shown in the story. He was ruthless to his enemies but ethical to those who aren't.

 

Maybe. But he was bitching about everything Dumbledore had done to him just a bit later in the chapter. No doubt there would have been questions about why Dumbledore had done what he did and the answers were just at Harry's fingertips.

 

This has never been put up for review? Damn.

As far as humor goes, this is old gold. Not quite up there with the greats like ABC or TLIL, but it's funny, enjoyable crack. Had me laughing out loud.

That said, it took a weird turn somewhere and tried to get serious instead of giving us more fun stuff.

Spoiler

Lily's reality altering powers in the beginning make for kind of a wonky setup, but you accept it because this is obviously on the cracky side.

Then it got derailed.

Years ago, I would say the fic should sail smoothly into the humor section with an easy 4/5, but now that I'm more picky, I'll give it a pat on the back and a 3,5/5, rounded down.

 

Got like 6 chapters in, couldn't take anymore. It's crack, and it's bad crack at that. The writing is decent, but the story is uninteresting, and the humor isn't funny.

3/5, if only because the writing and dialogue flows well.

 

While I have this story in my favorites, and sometimes I re read it, I can't give more than 3 stars.

Like it was said above, the problem with this fic is that preached too much. While it showed serious issues like alcoholism, homophobia or child abuse, those lose force when you realise its context.

Technicaly speaking, the author mispells some canon names, mentions wards and does a poor job while descriving and writing Lord Voldemort. You can't do that 3 years after DH.

It was nice to see it up for review just for the good times I spent reading it.

 

Yeah, like some humour, this just completely passes me by.

1/5 from me, I tried for longer than I usually do, and it didn't pay off.

 

My apologies if this has already been posted, a cursory search didn't reveal anything to me.

Title: Gryffindors Never Die
Author: ChipmonkOnSpeed
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/Friendship
Status: Complete (75000 words)
Library Categories: AU (Time Travel)
Pairings: None
Summary: Harry and Ron, both 58 and both alcoholics, are sent back to their 4th year and given a chance to do everything again. Will they be able to do it right this time? Or will history repeat itself? Canon to Epilogue, then not so much... (Reworked)
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6452481/6/Gryffindors-Never-Die

This is pretty close to a crackfic, and it made me laugh a lot.
M Rating is for the swearing, think 'wounded pirate whose peg leg was eroded by battery acid' standards.
Good!Dumbledore, Drunk!Harry, Drunk!Ron.
Ron treating Fleur the way she treats him in canon was pretty fucking funny.
Yule Ball is slightly ridiculous, but I like them that way.

Right now, I'd say 4/5, haven't seen a whole lot to tip it either way.