After his confrontation with Pettigrew reality hits Harry and he realises he needs to grow a spine if he is to survive. Watch as Harry becomes his own man as he faces the Triwizard Tournament trails. Harry/Fleur


Chapter 1 – Dealing with Repercussions


Thursday June 9th, 1994


I was angry. Pettigrew had escaped and it had been my fault. I should have let Sirius and Lupin kill him. But I had been too weak to stomach the deed. Dumbledore had told me I had done the right thing and my father James Potter would have done the same but he was wrong. I was sure my father would have slaughtered the traitor. Here I was in the Hospital Wing again in my regular bed. Yes Pomfrey had actually reserved a bed for me. She had patched Ron, Hermione and me up and had given us sleeping draughts. Ron and Hermione had taken theirs and were fast asleep but I hadn't. Instead I was lying lazily in my bed contemplating what had happened this year at Hogwarts. It had been stressful and frustrating having to deal with Dementors trying to suck my soul out, Ron and Hermione's stupid fight over animals one of which had turned out to be Pettigrew, complete misunderstanding over Sirius and of course Pettigrew escaping. It had been the worst year at Hogwarts yet. But more than Pettigrew another thing frustrated me. The fact that I was weak. The fact that I wasn't a match to my enemies. Hell I couldn't even defend my myself against them. I had to become a stronger wizard and become a match to my enemies or I wouldn't survive. I wondered how I could accomplish this. I thought of two options. Dumbledore and Lupin. I would ask them to train me. I felt that they would hep me. After all Dumdledore had helped me a lot of times and Lupin had thought me the Patronus Charm. With that in mind I noticed I was tired. The adventure I had today had completely worn me out and it was best I got some sleep. I took the Sleeping Draught on the table next to me and drunk it. It tasted awful as it always did. I drifted of to sleep in a few seconds.
Friday June 10th, 1994


I woke up the next day as the beautiful morning sunshine hit my eyes. I rubbed my eyes and got up. I immediately remembered what I had planned for today. I decided I would ask Lupin first and then Dumbedore if he didn't agree. I turned around to see Ron and Hermione seated in chairs next to my bed. They both smiled at me. I returned the smile.


"Hermione told me what you did yesterday Harry. Repelling a hundred Dementors. That's just brilliant mate." Ron said in awe.


"Uh Thanks Ron. How's your leg?" I ask remembering what Sirius had done to poor Ron.


"Pomfrey fixed it but it needs time to heal. I'll need to use a cane."


"Great Ron."


"How are you feeling Harry?" Hermione asked me in a soft voice.


"Alright Hermione though the Patronus Charm I did yesterday took a lot out of me."


"Should I call Madam Pomfrey Harry?" Hermione asked me in concern.


"No I'll be alright Hermione. So you guys want to join me for breakfast?"


"You don't need to ask mate me I'm hungry." Ron said rubbing his stomach.


"You're always hungry Ron." Hermione said rolling her eyes.


"Well I'm a growing boy Hermione. I need my food." Ron shot back.


"Right lets go already guys." I cut in quickly and stood up. I didn't fancy listening to one of their regular arguments.


"Wait Harry we need to make up a story for our disappearance last night." Hermione said.


"We'll just say some crazy creature of Hagrid's bit Ron and we spent the night at the Hospital Wing looking after him."


As we make it to the Great Hall we are subjected to stares from the entire school. The rumours we spent the whole night in the Hospital Wing had spread and the fact Ron was walking on a cane didn't help matters. This is one of the reasons I hated being a celebrity. I sighed as I was just used to it. I tried to ignore everyone bit hard to that when the entire school's eyes are on you and we made it to the Gryffindor table.
At breakfast, we learned that the Minister has removed the Dementors from the school grounds. At least that was the one good thing Fudge had done. Ginny, Fred, George and Percy were interrogating Ron about his injury. We stuck to our story that a creature of Hagrid's had come out of the forest and bit Ron. Funnily enough Hagrid dropped by and told us that Lupin had resigned. I was shocked. So much for my plan to be trained by Lupin. Frustration boiled in me. Still I had an alternative. Dumbledore. I excused myself from my best friends. Ron and Hermione told me they would be at Hogsmeade.I headed for Lupin's classroom to find out what the hell had happened.


Lupin's office door was open. He had already packed most of his things. Lupin looked at me as I walked in.


"Hagrid told me you'd resigned. Why? The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?"


"No. Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives." Lupin sighed. "That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he - er - accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast." Ah so this was Snape's work. I felt my hate growing for Snape.


"That greasy haired ugly bastard." I spat. Lupin didn't reprimand me for my language and he looked like he quite agreed with it.


"Well I'm sorry for you sorry Professor." I meant it. I would miss Lupin.


"Don't call me Professor Harry. I'm not your teacher anymore. Please call me Remus or Moony."


"Alright, Remus what will you do now?" Calling him his name brought a smile out of him.


"I'll think I will be taking a vacation of sorts this summer Harry." At that another thought came to my mind.


"What about Sirius?"


"I think I will catch up with him eventually. I will send you an owl."


"Thanks for being the best Defense against the Darts Arts teacher I have ever had. I learnt a lot from you and I will miss you. Take care of yourself Moony." I held out my hand and Remus shook it.


He got up and turned to leave but stopped and turned back and grinned at me. "Oh I forgot one more thing Harry."


It was nice to have my invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map back. Still it did little to soften the blow that Remus was gone.


After that I decided to have the talk with Dumbledore. I made my way over to Dumbledore's office. I had reached the gargoyle. I wasn't in the mood to deal with gargoyles and passwords.


"Open the door, Professor Dumbledore I have talk to you." I said looking at the gargoyle. It felt strange talking to an inanimate statue.


Instantly the door opened and I made my way up the stairs and into his office.


Dumbledore sat in his chair and looked at me with a smile his eyes twinkling.


"What did you want to talk to me about Harry? Please take a seat and might I offer you a lemon drop."


I didn't return the smile I wasn't in the mood for it and took one of the seats.


"I don't want a lemon drop Professor. Look Professor I'll get straight to the point. You have to train me."


Dumbledore still continued with his smile


"Train you Harry? Hogwarts has been training you for the last 3 years and will continue to do for the next 4 years of you education Harry."


"Professor don't play with me. You know what I meant." I said in a irritated tone.


Dumbledore turned serious at that. "Why should I train you Harry?"


"Well maybe because I got a dark lord and dark wizards after me." I told him sarcastically.


Dumbledore didn't change his expression though I got the feeling I had annoyed him.


"And you have successfully faced them and overcome them before from your Hogwarts education Harry without the training you desire from me."
"Don't talk to me as If I am a fool Professor. It was pure luck and you know it." I spat out. I got angry at how he was treating me as If I was an idiotic kid.


"No Harry you're wrong. Hogwarts education is sufficient." Dumbledore said firmly.


"So Hogwarts education will help me kill Voldemort then. Do you really believe that bullshit?" I shouted and got up.


Dumbledore looked a bit shocked at my outburst but quickly hid it with a neutral expression.


"Harry you're language aside yes Harry it will be enough to defeat Voldemort. I firmly believe in that." Dumbledore calmly told me.


"You've wrong and have made a big mistake Professor." I spat.


"I have made many mistakes in my life Harry but not in this." Dumbledore still said in a calm tone.


There was no point to this discussion anymore. I shook my head at Dumbledore and I turned back and I slammed the door on my way out.
Dumbledore's relationship with me had broken. I had no idea if it would ever be as it was before. I was angry, frustrated and had no idea what to do now. I considered going to Hogsmeade but I wasn't in the mood for it. I decided to have fly on my Firebolt. Maybe the air would take my mind of these things and calm me down.


I made it to the Gryffindor Tower which which had mostly the lower years. Everyone was at Hogsmeade. I went to my dorm, got my Firebolt and made my way to the Quidditch pitch. I had a fly around in my Firebolt. It did help take my mind of things and relaxed me. After a while I decided it was enough. As I touched down the ground I noticed someone heading towards me. It was Oliver Wood. I waved at him.


"Hey Ollie whats up mate?" Ollie grinned at that and reached me.


"Just that I got an owl yesterday saying I had made it into the Puddlemere United's reserve team." Ollie said proudly.


"Congrats Ollie. I always knew you had it in you." I gave my hand and Ollie laughed and shook it.


"Thanks mate actually I was looking for you Harry."


"Looking for me? Why Ollie?"


"I have finished Hogwarts Harry I just wanted to thank you for being such a good seeker for me and winning Gryffindor so many titles."


"Thanks but we were a team Ollie. We all won it together."


"You're just too humble Harry. Without you we wouldn't have won half of what we did."


"Thanks mate." I smiled at him genuinely moved by what he said.


"Harry I also wanted to give you tickets for the Quidditch World Cup. I thinks that's the best way to thank you. And before you refuse I gave that to every one of our team mates. My dad works in the Ministry and I got them from him." Ollie said and handed me the tickets. I took it and placed it in my robes. Wow the Quidditch World Cup. Of course I had heard about it and was excited about it. But actually going to it brought to an altogether another level of excitement for it.


"Thanks for everything Ollie. You were a great captain and a mate." At that Ollie hugged me. I returned the hug.


"Take care Harry." Ollie said and left.


Ollie's present had cheered me up. I was soaked in sweat after the flying

and I headed to have a shower.


As I was making it back to the castle I saw Draco Malfoy approaching me. Fucking Great. I did not want to deal with this idiot today. Just looking at him brought up all the pent up frustration I had back. As Draco noticed me he grinned. He opened his mouth to say something


"Look Malfoy I'm not in the mood for your bullshit today. Just leave me

alone." I cut cross.


Draco become angry.


"How dare you speak to me like that Potter you pathetic half blood." Draco snarled. That did it. I lost control of myself. All my frustration had overwhelmed me.


I punched him straight in the face at that. I felt his nose breaking. Draco fell on his back, blood flowing from his nose and he groaned in pain. I spat on his face and took his wand from his robes and broke it in half.


"Say that again you bastard." I snarled and I kicked him on his stomach. Draco groaned in pain again.


"How dare you do this to me? I swear I will kill you Potter. My father -" Draco said weakly in pain.


"Malfoy, fuck you, your father, your mother and your entire blood line!" I spat interrupting him and this time I kicked him in the balls. Malfoy howled in pain.


I had taken out all my pent frustration on Draco and it had been was extremely satisfying. Draco had it a long time coming to him.


I lent down to Draco's face and told him in a deadly voice "This was a lesson Malfoy and the lesson was you don't fuck with Harry Potter." And I punched his face again. Draco cried in pain and went unconscious at my blow.


I left Draco and went and had my shower. Draco wouldn't tell anyone what happened. Not after how I had embarrassed him not even to his father. But he would probably try to get me back. I would have to be careful.


It was lunch time. Everyone was back from Hogsmeade. I made my way to the Great Hall. I looked around and saw that none of the teachers were there. They didn't come for lunch and usually had it in their quarters. Ron and Hermione were having their lunch at the Gryffindor Table and they called me over.


Just as I walked towards them someone tapped my back. I turned back around. It was Snape. He looked gleeful. He probably wanted to gloat about how he got rid of Lupin. And he wanted to do it now as there no other teachers there. Bastard. All eyes in the great hall suddenly focused on us.


"Well Potter. Its seems your little pet werewolf has gone. No one to rescue you when you break the rules. You will rightfully be punished." Snape said smirking with a loud voice so everyone could hear him. If he wanted to play so would I. I would wipe that smirk of his face.


"Right. I'm so scared of you deadly punishments Snape." I said sarcastically. I baited him.


Snape stopped his smirk and took it. "I know your so arrogant that you don't fear me Potter. But Potter even you could learn a thing or two about being scared of your betters."


I laughed really hard. "You're better than me. Is you memory that short Snape? I just kicked your arse just a little while ago."
Snape looked incensed. All the students looked shocked. It looked like he really had forgotten. He eyes told me wanted to do nothing better than curse me. I made my hand towards my wand just in case. But Snape recovered quickly noticing the public he was in. He wouldn't get away with cursing a student. He turned to words instead.


"That was pure luck Potter next time you won't be so lucky and I will teach you how to respect your superiors." Snape said dangerously.


"Good luck with that Severus." I laughed even harder. The use of his first name seemed to incense him even more. Snape looked to finally use his sense. He knew he had lost this battle. He glared one final time at me.


"Ten points from Gryffindor for disrespecting me Potter." Snape sneered and stormed out. I have yet to find a good tutor for mastering such a sneer.
I wasn't stupid. Snape was right. He was far more experienced and knew the Dark Arts. I didn't have a chance against him. But hell would freeze over before I would let him embarrass me in front of the entire school. I sighed. I had so many dangerous enemies I couldn't match up to. I would have to do something about that despite not getting anywhere with my plan of being trained by Lupin or Dumbledore or I would be a goner for sure.
I quickly recovered thinking about how I had embarrassed Snape right now and the beating I had given Malfoy. That put me in a good mood and I made my way over to Ron and Hermione. The eyes in the great hall seemed to be in awe of me. Not everyday you see a student standing up to Snape and embarrassing him.


I took a seat between Ron And Hermione and I started filling up my plate with whatever I liked. I was starving and dug into it. Most of the Gryffindors looked happy as did the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. None of them were fans of Snape. Not so much the Slytherins though and they glared at me. After all I had embarrassed their head of the house. I smirked at the Slytherins enraging them further. Laughing at them I turned towards my fellow Gryffindors.


"That was brilliant mate." Ron said to me with glee.


"I can't believe you did that Harry." Neville said astonished.


"Well done Harry mate. I never seen anyone stand up to Snape like that." Seamus joined in.


I cheekily replied. "Well I am in Gryffindor for a reason lads." That made my house mates laugh.


Angelina chucked "Godric Gryffindor would be proud of you, Harry."


As the praises came from my housemates I admit it felt good. But of course there was an exception.


"You shouldn't have done that Harry. Snape is a professor and you lost us points." Hermione chided.


I wasn't in the mood for a lecture from Hermione. With my voice low so only Ron and Hermione could hear me I told her. "Oh spare me the lecture Hermione. Snape ratted out that Remus was a werewolf because he lost out on the Order of Merlin. Just giving a him little payback by embarrassing him in front of the school."


"What!" Both of them screamed at me. So much for being inconspicuous. Several heads turned towards us. Ron and Hermione quickly apologised and I told them what Lupin told me. After that Hermione seemed to agree with me about my treatment of Snape.


The rest of the day I spent it hanging out with Ron and Hermione and enjoyed the time I spent with them.


That night I thought about the day. It had been frustrating what with Remus being forced to resign thanks to that bastard Snape, Dumbledore refusing to train me but not all together bad. I had embarrassed Snape, Ollie had given me tickets to the Quidditch World Cup and I had beaten Draco to a bloody pulp. At that thought I went to sleep happily remembering what I had done to Draco and Snape.
Saturday June 18th, 1994


It had been a week. I had spent it largely in frustration. I still had no solution to my problem. I had considered asking the other teachers but they were too loyal to Dumbledore. Though Hermione and Ron had helped me keeping my spirits up. Ron's leg had fully healed and he didn't need his cane anymore. I hadn't spoken to Dumbledore after what had happened and I had ignored, glared at him when ever he looked at me in the Great Hall. Draco hadn't done anything yet. Though he would shoot me murderous looks if he saw me. His bruises had been healed. I suspected he had paid some seventh year to do that. I had a feeling he would try his attempt at revenge soon. Anyway it was the day to leave. We had packed our trunks and left on the Thestrals and boarded the Hogwarts Express and found a compartment. It was time to leave. I sighed. Oh great I had to put with a another summer of the Dursleys. I knew it would be even worse considering what I had done to Marge.


Hermione and Ron could read me well.


"Oh Harry it will be alright. I will write to you. I will be on vacation with my parents in Australia. I will have loads to tell you." Hermione told me softly.


"Don't worry World Cup this summer! You should come to our house. I'll tell mum and dad. Come and stay, and we'll go and see it! Dad can usually get tickets from work." Ron said with confidence.


That cheered me up. I could always rely on my best friends to cheer me up. My best friends were the few positives of my lives. Besides that there were Remus and Sirius I could write to. I explained to Ron that Ollie had given me tickets and politely declined it. Ron took it well enough surprisingly. We spent half the train ride in a good mood. We were chatting away when someone came into our compartment. I turned around. It was Draco and his oafs Crabbe and Goyle. They had their wands in their hands and were glaring at me. I had been right in suspecting Draco would try something soon. I grabbed my wand and so did Ron and Hermione.


"What do you want Malfoy?" Ron growled


"Just leave Malfoy." Hermione looked annoyed as well.


"Came back for more Malfoy. I thought you had already learned your lesson but apparently not. Looks like I will have teach you again what happens if you fuck with Harry Potter." I snarled.


That made Draco lose his control. "Fuck you, Potter I will make you pay for what you did to me. Come on boys." Draco shouted angrily.


I laughed at Draco's foolishness. "Malfoy you are a fucking idiot. I beat you to pulp and you come back for more. Do you really want me to fuck you up again?"


This was too good an opportunity. To curse Draco to oblivion and fuck him up again.


But before anything could happen three wands pointed at their neck. It was Fred and George with Lee Jordan with them.


"Better think of what you're doing there Malfoy." Fred warned "We wouldn't want you little Slytherin boys to lose your bits now would we?"
Draco looked scared. He knew he was outmatched. Even being an idiot Draco seemed to have some sense. Draco ran for it and his oafs followed him.


"Damn I was just about to curse Malfoy." I said glaring at Fred and George and Lee.


George smiled "Sorry Harry you can always do it next time you see that little wanker."


"What are you doing here?" Ron asked his brothers.


"Just roaming around looking for our spider we were experimenting with." answered Lee "We need to go now before we lose the locating spell we have on it." They rushed out.


Hermione looked at Ron. "You're brothers and his friend are crazy Ron."


"Blame my mum and dad Hermione." Ron replied dryly.


We laughed at that and Hermione turned towards me.


"Harry what did you do to Malfoy?"


I told them what I had done. Hermione looked scandalized but Ron loved it. Hermione tried to lecture me but Ron defended me. After a while of their arguing we started to discuss other things and the good mood of earlier returned and the rest of the train ride was spent with no interruption and we reached London.


As usual I met the Weasley parents.


"Oh Harry dear how have you been?"


I thanked Mrs Weasley for the presents she gave me. Mrs Weasley hugged me and Mr Weasley greeted me kindly. It was always nice meeting the Weasley parents. Hermione and Ron hugged me next. "See you Harry." "Goodbye mate." They both left with their parents. This left me alone. I sighed.


I went out of Platform 3/4 to meet my only living family. Well they weren't happy to see me. Nor was I. Looks like they hadn't forgotten I had blowed up Marge. I smiled at that thought. I ignored the Dursleys and got into their car. We reached my so called home.


I quickly went to my room, unpacked and quickly undressed and went to bed. I was tired after a long train journey and let sleep over come me.

 

This first chapter has neither a good beginning, nor a good ending. Nothing that makes the reader go "Oh, cool" and nothing that stands out from the bog of eternal stench that is the indy!Harry franchise.

You've got to tantalize your readers with a hint of what's to come. Your summary alone makes me cringe and worry and that's before I've even begun to read.

There's a lot of telling, not a lot of showing.


"Came back for more Malfoy. I thought you had already learned your lesson but apparently not. Looks like I will have teach you again what happens if you fuck with Harry Potter." I snarled.

I laughed at Draco's foolishness. "Malfoy you are a fucking idiot. I beat you to pulp and you come back for more. Do you really want me to fuck you up again?"


Okay, what the fuck? Harry does not swear ONCE in canon and honestly, making him do so without any reason to prompt is stupid. This doesn't sound like Harry at all. This sounds like someone else (You?) telling Malfoy to fuck off.

If you want change to any character, you can't just change them. You change the circumstances, the events they go through, the choices they're forced to make. This changes them. It's called character development.

Read a few of the better indy!Harry fics. I'm pretty sure we've got them all stashed away here on DLP. Then try again.

 

The summary is irredeemably terrible. Any variation of 'Harry will grow a spine' is instant fail for me. It might have been acceptable back when indy Harry was new and popular, but now it's just cringeworthy.

 

It's not the best summary, but it's also not the worst. If you lose people over that, quite frankly you're better off. Your first chapter, though, has to draw people in. This one doesn't do it for me, for a couple of reasons:

First person narrative. Personally, I'm not a big fan of it... it can come off too stilted and sometimes too emotional. Specific to your story:

Who is Harry talking to? If it's from his perspective, its weird for him to be expounding on this. You have to drop it into his "head conversation"; something like: Lying there tired yet sleepless, I looked up at the ceiling of the Hospital Wing. 'If Pomphrey is going to actually reserve a bed for me, why can't it be as comfortable as my regular bed?'

As it continues you tell us "I wondered how I could accomplish this. I thought of two options". First person sort of demands we see that thought process - not summaries of that process.

Does anyone really notice they are tired? Especially "with that in mind"? It's too robotic for me.

With respect to the remaining bits: I completely agree with the first reviewer, that the use of 'fuck' threw me. Harry's anger throughout the chapter comes off as a bit "over the top". His interaction with Snape in particular - Harry comes off as extremely angry and even a bit irrational. It throws me - and in the end makes your Harry a bit unlikable (for me).

Your sentence structure. It's a bit staccato for me.

You have a lot of short, brief sentences throughout the story which read as bursts of information. It reminds me of that old Adam-12 skit, where Joe Friday says "Just the facts ma'am".

Grammar, spelling and missing words.

There are more, but you get the point.


Overall Feedback. This first chapter is a rehash of a lot of what happened at the end of Book 3. One could argue that because this is fanfiction, most readers would know the canon facts and it's unnecessary. But if it helps you as a bridge to telling your story, keep it. There are, however, a few too many 'rote' scenes. Ron always hungry, check. Hermione remonstrates Harry, check. Anger at Snape, check. Anger at Dumbledore, check. Anger at Draco, check. What I'm missing, though, is the hook that will differentiate your story and make me want to keep reading it. Avoid the clichés and find a way to get that hook into your first chapter.

Parting Words. Opinions are just opinions - that doesn't make them right. At the end of the day, remember that it's YOUR story. You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself. Best of luck with wherever it takes you.

 

Chapter 2 - The Summer of Change


It had been a day since I arrived back. I had largely ignored the Dursleys. And when they had confronted me I revealed a bit about me having a mass murder for a godfather. That shut them right up and they seemed to copy me by ignoring me. That was good but still I wasn't happy. Dumbledore had refused to train me and I was still weak. I had do something. I had to survive. So there I considered my options on what to do? Sirius was on the run and Remus had just lost his job. I realised I was pretty fucked. Frustration boiled in my veins. After a while I calmed down. I decided it was best I went for a walk. Being in my room wasn't helping me.


As I walked on the streets a thought hit me. If I could remove the trace in my wand. I could do magic as I wished. I could learn the Dark Arts. But where would I find such knowledge? Hogwarts Library's restricted section perhaps? I didn't think so. I was pretty sure Dumbledore would have removed any Dark Arts books that existed there. Then another thought hit me. Knockturn Alley. That was were you could buy the forbidden stuff you couldn't at Diagon Alley. I wasn't worried about anybody recognising me going to Knockturn Alley. People at Diagon Alley there were too busy shopping to care about others even though I was a celebrity. That was always the case. As for the people at Knockturn recognising me that wasn't the problem because they couldn't exactly mention they were at Knockturn Alley themselves.


I took out my wand and signaled for the Knight Bus. That insane contraption stopped before me. Whoever had invented it I was sure was fucking crazy. Stan Shunpike recognized me as did Ernie the driver. The ride was as bumpy as I remembered it with Stan annoying me. I hated being a celebrity. I made my way through the Leaky Cauldron ignoring Tom's greeting and making my way into Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley was so magical. I was surrounded by magic everywhere again. Beautiful shops with so many magical things everywhere. This brought my mood up. I made my way into Gringotts and got a quarter of galleons I had in my trust vault. It was better to have money in case I needed to purchase something expensive. I was largely ignored by the people of Diagon Alley like I always was. Then I made my way into Knockturn Alley.


My only experience of Knockturn Alley was when I had accidentally flooed in there. I didn't remember much. I reached Knockturn Alley. It was dusty, dark and awful. I got a few stares but most people went on their buisness in a hurry. I surveyed the stores before I reached a book store. It was a huge two storey building. It read GILMORE'S BOOKS. I went into the store. As I entered I suddenly felt something was off but wrote if of as nerves. It was a bit cleaner than Knockturn Alley but not by much. I would need a shower when I got home. An old man was at the counter. He introduced himself as David Gilmore and welcomed me. He had a raspy voice. I browsed through the gallery of books. After an hour of searching I gave up frustrated. I didn't find what I wanted. Most of books I had looked at were useless to me. Time to visit another store. I walked to door of the store to get out. But Gilmore called me.


"Wait a second my lad." Gilmore said in his raspy voice. I turned back.


"What do you want?"


"I have never failed a customer in my sixty years of running this store, my lad. You can get whatever you seek here." Gilmore said in that same weird raspy voice which made me feel strangely uncomfortable. I felt something was off here.


"Well I guess you failed now." I told him dryly. I was frustrated, pissed and I didn't particularly care about being civil.


To my surprise the Gilmore laughed. "Not necessarily. What is that you didn't find my lad?"


I considered my options. It was risk. It would have severe consequences if it backfired. I still had a bad feeling about all this. But I decided to take that risk being the Gryffindor I am.


"I didn't find books on the Dark Arts and removing the trace in wands." I said in a serious tone. My heart was beating. Despite my confident demeanor on the outside I was nervous. The feeling that something was wrong didn't leave me.


Gilmore suddenly gleamed. "And why would The famous Boy Who Lived Harry Potter want to know such things?" Oh shit I was fucked. I was so fucking stupid. While the customers there couldn't tell about me. I hadn't considered the shopkeepers. They already the reputation so there was nothing stopping them from telling anyone and they could tip off the Ministry and the Daily Prophet.


"None of your fucking business." I replied cooly.


"Maybe not my business but I'm sure the Ministry and the Prophet would be interested." Gilmore answered with an evil grin." He had the upper hand.


"What do you want?" I asked him neutrally. I kept my composure on the outside though I had lost it inside. I was getting sick of this game.


"100 galleons Mr. Potter for my silence. Another 100 galleons as I do have the books you are looking for."


I suddenly realised it. I cursed my idiocy. The old codger had charmed the store so whoever walked in couldn't find what they wanted and he would blackmail them. Thats what the feeling was about. I was sensing the charm. He had this racket going for 60 years. Bastard.


"That's a rip off and you know it." I still said neutrally. I could barely keep my anger in check. I wanted to do nothing other that curse the old codger for fucking with me. Show him you just don't fuck with Harry Potter.


"You are not in a position to make any demands Mr. Potter." Gilmore said in serious tone promising he would do exactly as he said. I knew I was defeated here.


"Fine you win. But how am I to be sure you won't break your silence?"


"I'll swear an oath Mr. Potter."


"Fine" I gave him the money. It took out most of the money I had bought from Gringotts. He summoned two books. I took a look at it. The tiles read. "Magics of the Wand." "A Study of Dark Arts." I opened it and turned a few pages and examined both of them for a few minutes. It looked authentic.


I took out my wand and pointed it at him saying with a deadly tone "Right do the oath now."


Gilmore looked a bit fearful at at that. Not many people in the wizarding world wanted to be on the wrath of Harry Potter.


He said in a panicked voice. "No need Mr. Potter, I am man of my word."


I still kept my wand directed towards him. Gilmore looked like he wanted to do nothing more than get me out of his store.


"I, David Maximus Gilmore swear on my life and magic that I will never tell anyone about your visit Mr. Potter."


That was that. I then had him put a charm on it that would make the books have a much more friendlier title. Wouldn't do for the public to see the great Harry Potter with such books.


Then another thought hit me. What If I could buy another wand? A wand with no trace. I wondered if Knockturn Alley had that. Of course I wouldn't go into a store and let what had happened happen again. I wasn't an idiot. I would merely look if it was available and find a way to get it if it was available without repeating what had happened. I searched for any wand store in Knockturn Alley but there was none. So much for that.


I left Knockturn Alley, got on the Knight Bus again. Stan annoyed me again. I wanted tell him to shut the fuck up but I knew I would need the Knight Bus this summer. I tried my best to ignore him. It didn't help with bumpy crazy ride. As I traveled in the crazy contraption I reflected back on what had happened. I had been stupid. I couldn't afford such mistakes but at least I had got what I wanted. Vernon was at work and Dudley was out with his thugs probably vandalising the neighborhood. Petunia ignored me. I finally made it home. I went to my room and placed the books on my table. I undressed myself, put on a towel and had a shower. After that I dressed myself with cleaner clothes and made my way to the kitchen and had lunch.


I went back to my room. It was time to read the books.


"Magics of the Wand" was a fascinating book. I read it all day only taking a break for supper and dinner. It described the history of wands, great wands of history, wand cores, the art of wandlore, great wandmakers. I finally reached the chapter that described how the trace was placed and how it could be removed. It said that I needed to use another wand and use the spell given there on my wand. Great. Just great. Another complication. Where in the hell was I supposed to find another wand? I would have to wait until I was back at Hogwarts and could borrow Ron or Hermione's wand. Things just weren't going my way. I spent the rest of the night practicing the wand movements for the spell. The spell was a bit complex but I knew I could do it. At least I was able be prepared. I practiced it until I badly needed to sleep. So I laid on my bed and gave in to my sleep.
It had been a week. Mostly I had spent it reading the books and doing my homework. A Study of Dark Arts was another fascinating book. It had downright nasty curses that promised murder and torture. Like the one that could burn your heart or the on that cleaved your stomach or the one that twisted your intestines, really fucked up curses like that. It was disgusting reading it but I needed to. I had mostly learnt most of it and the wand movements. But of course learning it and doing it were two completely different things. Not everyone could do the Dark Arts. I would need to practice it. That brought another problem. How the fuck could I practice it at Hogwarts under the supervision of Dumbledore and his staff? I then wondered how Ron and Hermione would react to me learning the Dark Arts. They were always against it. They wouldn't approve. But my enemies used the Dark Arts and I was going to fight fire with fire. And the prospect of using some of these curses on Snape, Pettigrew or Voldemort himself was incentive enough. It was best not to tell Ron and Hermione.
So here I was sitting in a swing in a park near Privet Drive. It was deserted. That suited me fine. It gave me time to think, read my books and practice my wand movements. It had become a routine every day. I looked at my watch it was 1:00 PM. Lunch Time. I made my way home. No one was there. Petunia had gone shopping with one of other housewives. That felt good. It was nice not to deal with a Dursley once. Speaking of the Dursleys think of all the torture they had given me I couldn't help but fantasize this week many times about cursing each one of them with some the deadly curses I had learned. But the last thing I needed was to go to Azkaban for muggle slaughter. But then again if I could get away it. Putting those thoughts aside I had lunch and made my way to my room to see a several owls. Hedwig looked annoyed at that.


"Sorry girl." I told her and petted her and gave her and the other owls Owl treats. Hedwig had become a spoiled brat. I had to take blame for that. Still



I loved my Owl.


I quickly relieved the letters from the birds and the owls sat their eating the Owl treats waiting for my response.


They were letters from Sirius, Remus, Ron and Hermione. I opened Hermione's letter first. She had filled it about her vacation of Australia. I found it rather boring and I sent her a generic letter with her owl. Ron's went on about what the Weasleys were up to. I wrote him a generic letter as well with the new owl Sirius had gotten him. Next I opened Sirius' letter.


Dear Harry,
I miss you and I wish I was there with you. I'm sorry I can't give you a home you deserve. How are you? As for me I won't say where I am in case this gets intercepted but I'm enjoying myself where I am. I had a nice shag the other day. Believe me going without sex in Azkaban was hell and all I had were ugly old hags at Azkaban to wank off to. It's a wonder I'm still sane. Enough about me. Tell me if the Dursleys have given any trouble. Tell me how your summer has been? I want to know about my godson.
Love,
Sirius


Sirius' letter made me laugh and emotional. I felt I was lucky to have such a great godfather. I had to write back. I wondered what to write. I thought about it and took a calculated risk. I felt I could trust Sirius. My parents had and I trusted their judgement. So I wrote him telling him everything I had done, why I had done it without omitting anything. I was nervous about his reaction but I felt he would understand and support me. Then I opened Remus's letter.


Dear Harry,
I said I would write to you. I'm in France. France is a beautiful country. I have to admit being a teacher is a most stressful job but I enjoyed it. Teaching you and getting to know you was wonderful. I think James and Lily would be proud of who you are. I know the Dursleys aren't the friendliest sort. How has your summer been? How have you been holding up?
Remus


Suddenly a sharp anger overtook me as I realised something. I had been enjoying Remus' letter and it had made me emotional but his mention of the Dursleys snapped me. I realised while the Dursleys had tortured me Remus had never even visited me. If he had he could have stopped the suffering I had to put up with. Despite being his best friends son he hadn't give a fuck about me. At least Sirius had an excuse and I knew Sirius would have raised me himself. Feeling bitter I decided not to respond to Remus. Thinking about Remus also made me think about Dumbledore. He was the one that had placed me here. He too like Remus had not bothered to check up on me and let me suffer. He too could have stopped my torture. And even had the gall to refuse to train me and treated me like an idiotic kid. I just felt so angry at the moment. Remus relationship with me had broken and my relationship with Dumbledore's had gotten even worse. I didn't know if I would be with Remus like I was before. Disillusionment was not a good feeling. I hated it when reality hit me. Trying to forget about Remus and Dumbledore I went back to reading my books. That gave me a good distraction and soon spent that afternoon learning about wand cores and how to boil another witch or wizard.


Next day I visited Diagon Alley, made my customary trip to Gringotts. This time I decided to make some inquiries as the Potters were an old pureblood family and I wondered if my parents had left anything else. Funnily enough I was taken to visit the manager of the bank and found out that the Potters were an extremely rich old pureblood family and I had more than a single trust vault. I had several large vaults. In fact I was one of the richest wizards in Britain. I would never have to work a day in my life. I thanked my parents for leaving so much money. But I also felt like an idiot for being so ignorant for so long and thinking that the trust vault was all I had.
After that I shopped. My discovery of my wealth made me treat myself. I bought new robes, a wand holster, wand maintenance kit, broom maintenance kit, potion cauldrons, a new trunk, some interesting books that would help me improve myself like Guide to Potions, History of Astrology, Charms made easy. I also just bought this years materials for school. Might as well get it done now. I considered muggle shopping. But decided against it as it wasn't wise to show the Dursleys I had money. I had them all shrunk and they were in my pocket. With a few taps of my wand I could unshrink it my room and shrink it again with a few taps. This was useful. I didn't want to show Dursleys any of this. It had become evening.


After all that I decided to have ice cream and made my way to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. Fortescue greeted me and there I was enjoying my ice cream when some one propped themselves into the opposite chair I sat at licking his ice cream.


I looked up. He was black, brown haired, brown eyed and looked to be my age. I felt I recognised him somewhere.


"Do I know you?" He looked suprised at that and raised his eyebrows.


"You don't know me?" I felt very stupid and didn't know what to say. He frowned at that.


"Well Potter it looks like Snape is right about you. You are a big headed idiot. I have been in the same class as you have been every time there was a combined Slytherin Gryffindor class. I'm Blaise Zabini." Now I recognised him. He hung around with another guy Theodore Nott and occasionally with Malfoy. That's what I knew of him. Ignoring the insult I asked him.


"So what are you doing here?" Blaise looked at me as if I was dumb.


"Well Potter why does anyone come to an ice cream store?" Blaise asked me sarcastically. I was getting annoyed quickly.


"I meant what are you doing sitting opposite me?" I said ignoring his sarcasm.


"Well Potter Is there rule that says I can't sit opposite you? To answer your dumb question this was the only chair not filled." Blaise seemed to have the talent to get under my skin. I looked around and realised while I was enjoying the ice cream so much that I hadn't noticed my surroundings much.


"Right I was just bit out and I didn't notice that. No need to talk to me in that tone Zabini." I explained with a calm facade outside though I was a bit angry. Blaise smirked at that.


"Oh did I insult you ego, Potter?" Right there I wanted to curse him. Zabini needed to be taken down a peg or two. I kept my expression neutral. Seeing that Blaise still continued with that smirk while he stood up. He had finished his ice cream.


"It was nice meeting you Potter." I put my leg infront of his just as he took a step and Blaise fell flat on his face. Most of the customers turned towards us. I laughed at him.


"One would think a pureblood like yourself would know how to walk Zabini. Maybe you're whore of a mother didn't teach you that as she was too busy riding someone's cock." I said referencing the rumours about his mother.
Blaise looked embarrassed first then angry. Blaise quickly got up and made a movement towards where he kept his wand. So did I.


"Don't you ever speak of my mother like that again Potter." Blaise shouted angrily.


"What would you do If I did so Zabini? In fact I will say it right now. Your mother is a fucking whore Zabini."


Blaise got even more angry and looked like he would curse me. But he just stared angrily at me for a few seconds.


"Scared Zabini?"


"Please Potter why would I be scared of a pathetic half blood like you. I just don't want to have my wand broken for breaking the underage magic rules. Believe me Potter. I will curse you with the worst curses I know at Hogwarts for insulting me and my mother." Blaise spat. I had to credit Blaise for being smart.


I told him in a deadly tone. "It seems you haven't learned your lesson yet Zabini. You don't fuck with Harry Potter. Try as you wish Zabini. I will make you regret you ever fucked with me."


Blaise looked at me considering my words. I had unsettled him but he quickly hid it with another glare. This was far from over yet.
Blaise went away glaring at me.


All in all Blaise Zabini was a cunt. But then again so were most Slytherins . I wondered if that was the trait the Sorting Hat looked at to sort someone into Slytherin.


I made my way of out of there to go home. I was excited to explore my purchases. Half the way through as I walked I saw my whole Gryffindor Quidditch team mates. Oliver Wood, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Fred and George were walking towards me. They all looked happy and were chatting with each other.


Seeing me they stopped near me and Ollie said. "Harry mate what are you doing here?"


"Well Ollie I found out I was one of the richest wizards in Britain and I treated myself."


Ollie laughed at that. "Things are never boring with you is it Harry?"


I laughed as well. "I guess not Ollie. What are you guys up to?"


"We are going to a night club and get wasted." Angelina said. Night club eh that was one of the curious things I had always wanted to try out.


I raised my eyebrows. "And you didn't invite me?"


"We thought you were too young Harry." Alicia explained. I scoffed at that.


"I'm not a kid Alicia. And Katie is only a year older than me." I said dryly.


"He's right Alicia." Angelina pointed out.


"But Harry I didn't think you were into such things." Katie said in a soft voice.


"Well I won't know if I am in or aren't into such things without trying it." I pouted.


"We were even younger than Harry when we started it weren't we George?" Fred piped in.


"Right you're brother of mine." George agreed.


"Fine fuck it lets go get wasted Harry." Ollie cracked a grin. I smiled.


"Where are we going to?" I asked him.


"We go to several different night clubs regularly. Today we are going to hit up the one at Newcastle. Its one of the best night clubs in Britain. I know the people there." Ollie answered me.


As we walked I turned towards Fred and George.


"Does your mom know Fred and George?" I said to them. They both looked alarmed at that.


"Merlin no Harry mum would skin us alive." Fred said in a shudder.


"And murder us next for taking us with you." George replied similar to his brother.


The rest of us laughed at that. "What about Ron?"


"Nope. Ron is daft git. He would let Mom find out somehow." Fred snorted. I agreed with that. Ron wasn't the brightest chap.


We made it out of Diagon Alley and suddenly Ollie stopped. He said to us



"Right gang get around me."


We did as he said. Ollie took out something from is pocket and using his wand he unshrunk it. I was a shoe and he held it out towards us.


"What the fuck are you doing Ollie?" Ollie looked at me strangely before something clicked in his head.


"Ah right you haven't learnt it yet Harry." Ollie said.


"Learnt what?"


"Its a Portkey Harry." Alicia supplied.


"Whats a Portkey?"


Alicia explained it. That was nice useful information to know.


And soon we all held on to it Ollie said "Activate".


I crashed into the ground on my arse while others landed easily. It was painful. I had broken something in my arse.


"Fuck me." I hissed in pain.


"Even though you're pretty no thanks Harry I don't swing that way." Fred grinned.


"Nor do I though I suspect our little brother might be in love with you." George added with a suggestive eyebrow.


"Thanks for the completely bad mental images guys." I muttered in annoyance at them.


The others laughed and I just grunted in pain and scowled at them.


"You'll get the hang of it next time Harry. Its like that the first time." Angelina chirped.


"I'll do an healing spell that will help you." Ollie took out his wand and cast a healing spell. That made the pain go away.


I stood up and saw that we were in front of a huge building. It read Newcastle's Night Club. Night had fallen. Bright different colourful lights came from the night club and illuminated the streets we were in. I looked at my watch it read 8:00 PM. Young people stood in a queue as dozen wizards and witches stood near the door deciding who to let in and out.


Ollie walked ignoring the queue confidently. We followed him. The wizards and witches recognised him. They had a small talk and galleons were exchanged. We walked into the night club. Let the fun commence.
It would have passed for a muggle night club except for the obvious magic that was everywhere. The multicoloured lights with no light source, the night club was even huger than seen from the outside, and the charms that kept the noise and light inside.


Young people many half naked and naked were dancing, grinding, twisting, shagging on the huge dance floor with some fast loud music being played. It looked like I had walked in to an orgy of ecstasy. All this got me pumped up.


As we entered an attractive brown haired women swayed past me naked looking at me with a teasing smile and winked at me. I couldn't help but have a good look at her. I blushed and was a bit turned on. I had absolutely no experience with girls and the naked witches around weren't helping matters.


"Welcome Harry to our world, we'll show you how the big boys play tonight." Fred said with a grin.


"You're a big boy Fred? You have the mentality of a 5 year old kid." I pointed it out to him.


Fred scoffed at that. "Well my cock is daddy sized Harry? You can look at it yourself" He made a move to remove his pants.


Katie smacked Fred's head. "We don't want to see your cock you wanker."
Fred put an mischievous smile and made a suggestive eyebrow towards



Angelina. "Well Angie wouldn't mind."


Angelina blushed.


I laughed at Fred's antics "Thanks for proving my point Fred."


We laughed and made our way to the bar. The bar was huge and elaborate looking filled with so many selections of liquor with witches in pretty skimpy clothes serving. Several witches and wizards sat inebriated, others carrying drinks back into the dancefloor. Many others were drinking strange potions and inhaling different coloured powders which Katie explained to me were magical drugs.


We sat at the bar. Ollie and the gang ordered different drinks. As I had absolutely no clue Ollie ordered me a Firewhisky.


"Lets start you of you slow Harry." Ollie grinned. I tried pay it for it but Ollie refused.


"No way Harry my treat mate." As we were served our drinks. Ollie gave me a glass with an orange colour liquor in it.


Ollie bumped his glass with mine "Cheers Harry" I drank half the glass. It was tasted like lemons and it was bit hot. I liked it. I finished it liking the taste even more. My first taste of alcohol had been good.


"Not bad." I told Ollie.


George broke in "Pfft thats nothing Harry. Here have something stronger."

He passed me glass. It was gold coloured.


"Whats this?"


"Apenskoye an Eastern European drink Harry. You'll love it"


I drank it. It tasted sweet and had the same alcoholic taste of firewhisky.



It was better than firewhisky. Geroge was right. I did love it.


"This is great. George." I said in appreciation.


"Brilliant Harry mate try this." Fred broke in and passed me another glass with another liquor. One by one my friends drunk me up giving me several different alcohols while they themselves drunk up what they were giving me. I had to admit the alcohol was good and I was having a hell of of time.
After a while of tasting several different drinks I was disoriented. The gang were at the same state as me.


Looking at me Alicia grinned. "Oh we are just getting started Harry."
She passed me a bluish potion and reddish powder. I took the potion and suddenly I was completely fired up. I sniffed the powder and suddenly my mind was in haze. I was in ecstasy. I had never felt this good in life. Magical drugs and Alcohol sure made you feel fantastic.
Like before my friends made me try out different strange potions and inhaling different powders while they took it themselves.


So there we were were drunk, drugged up. We were giggling, singing about Ollie's success and were completely out our minds.


Then we decided to dance. Ollie had chatted some witch and went with her while Fred and George went with Angelina and Alicia. That left Katie with me.


Katie grinned at me.


"Guess its you and me then Harry." she said giggling in high pitched voice completely out of her mind and dragged me to the dance floor.


I had never danced before. But with me drugged up and completely drunk I felt I could do anything. Kate started to doing some moves. I started to imitate her. That made her laugh. And we kept dancing to different music and enjoyed ourselves full of ecstasy. I found out that I loved dancing. Just as we continued I realised I was dancing very close to Katie and was nearly pressed to her. I noticed that Katie had grown quite well since I first saw her. Her bust was bigger, she had an athletic body comes from Quidditch of course. And a few naked girls dancing beside me didn't help matters. I was turned on and my cock was hard. The intoxications in me made me do something I wouldn't do under normal circumstances.


I kissed Katie. Katie looked surprised but she kissed me back. Katie's lips were soft and I enjoyed her lips. This was my first kiss but it had gone well. After a while of making out we broke up for air. Katie grinned. "You're a good kisser Harry. All this dancing has made me tired lets go get something to drink."


We went to the bar and sat. I searched around for my other friends. Fred and Angelina were half naked and looked like they would shag then and there. George and Alicia were actually shagging. Angelina and Alicia had quite the bodies. I observed them for a while noticing their lovely bodies.


Katie smacked my head. "Enough eye fucking Angie and Licia here have this." she said laughing handing me a drink. I took it drunk it was similar to the alcohol I had tasted before and enjoyed my drink. I searched for Ollie.


Ollie was with several different naked witches dancing with them, gloating about himself being in the Puddlemere team. I laughed at all this.


Katie got some more potions and powder. After getting drugged up again we went back to the dance floor. Katie and I danced again. This time Kaite initiated the kiss and took my hands and put it on her breasts. I kissed her back and groped her breasts. After a while of enjoying those beautiful breasts I made my way to her arse and squeezed them. Katie had quite the arse. My cock was hard and pressing into Katie. Katie suddenly moved her hands into my pants and took my cock in her hands and teased me. "Did I get you hard Harry?". She stroked it for a while. I was in heaven. "Fuck Katie."


Katie removed her hands from my cock. I grunted annoyed. "Oh we are just getting started Harry dear." Katie laughed. Suddenly she removed her shirt and her bra came with it. I looked at her breasts. They were nice sized with beautiful pink nipples. They were lovely.


My fingers traced her breasts for a moment marvelling at it. Katie moaned my name at that. Before I could play with it Ollie put a hand on my shoulder."Enough lover boy. Time to go home."


"You got great timing Ollie." I told him in irritation. Katie laughed as did Ollie.
Ollie dragged me away out of the night club. Many young people were still in the queue. He took out something from his pockets and unshrink it. They were a few potions.


"Sorry for cock blocking you there mate but there is a pretty witch seducing me out there and before I fall to her charms I wanted to get you home safe. You're my responsibilty Harry. Here have this. These are sobering potions. This should put you in a normal state."


I took it and after a few minutes I was in a normal state.


"Thanks Ollie tonight was brilliant mate." I told him gratefully. Ollie just grinned and hugged me.


"I would have side along Apparated you Harry but I can't in the state I'm in and there is pretty witch waiting to fuck me."


"Side along what?"


That led to him explaining me what Apparition was to me. Another good bit of useful information. Ollie hailed the Knight Bus for me. Thankfully this time Stan himself was sleepy and after giving my ticket he fell asleep on one of the beds. The time I made it home. I looked at my watch it was 3 AM. As I walked the house was completely silent. The Dursleys were asleep. I walked slowly not making much noise not wanting to wake them up. I was completely tired and all I wanted to do was get some sleep. I went to my room before remembering my shopping. I took out all my purchases, unshrinked it and arranged them all in my new trunk. After that I collapsed on my bed exhausted relieving the heavenly things I did with Katie. That brought a huge grin on my face and I went to sleep in a few seconds
I woke up the next day the beautiful morning sun hitting my eyes as usual. I looked the the time it as 8:00 AM. I contemplated what had happened yesterday. I had bought useful things that would improve my knowledge of magic and make me stronger. I had made an enemy out of Blaise Zabini. I could tell he would make for an competent enemy. An improvement on Malfoy for sure. Then I thought about the adventure I had with my friends particularly how Katie's lips and body felt. That brought a huge grin out of me. It was by far the best time I had ever had in my life. Hedonistic lifestyle was fantastic. Would have to do all that again soon. This summer had been the best I had and it had only started and I was excited for what would come next. I briefly considered asking Ollie for his wand to remove the trace but I doubted Ollie would give his wand to an underage wizard as good as a friend he was. I then had a shower. After that it was breakfast time. Petunia's cooking was mediocre at best but I had no inclination to cook myself so I supposed I couldn't complain.


I made my way down to the kitchen and found the three Dursleys having their breakfast. They glared at me. I ignored them as usual and went to get a plate for myself.


"Wait there boy." Vernon called me. I looked back. The three Durselys were standing and were focused on me.


"What do you want?"


"We need to have a talk."


"About what?"


"About your bollocks of having a mass murderer for a godfather. We discussed it and we know you're lying boy. Now you can go back to doing the chores and cooking poor Petunia has had to endure." Vernon sneered.


I merely smiled. "I'm lying huh? Funnily enough Vernon you're half right. I do have a godfather but he is not as mass murderer. However that's irrelevant."


Vernon and Petunia became red at my use of his first name.


"You will show respect to your uncle freak! And how is that irrelevant?" Petunia said through gritted teeth.


"Its irrelevant because I have this." I took out my wand and traced my fingers through it.


"We know you can't use it out of school freak." Petunia said confidently.
I laughed.


"Of course you're right. But Petunia here's a bit of news. You see I'm famous in my world and they see non magical people such as yourself beneath them. Do you think anyone there would care if I killed you right here and now."


I was bluffing and they fell for it.


"You kill us? You're only thirteen Potter." Dudley finally spoke up unsure.


"I might be thirteen but let me tell you what I can do with this." I said in a serious tone and traced my fingers over my wand again.
I looked at them recalling for a moment everything they had put me through. Hatred burned in my veins. Fuck bluffing I was going to slaughter these bastards. They sensed it and moved a bit back.


"I can set you on fire. I can boil you're blood. I can dissolve your flesh in acid. I can cleave you in half and send your organs spraying over these floors." I snarled with hatred in my eyes.


The Dursleys looked utterly terrified. Petunia burst through in tears.


"How dare you after all we did for you." Petunia sniffed crying. This angered me even more.


"What you did for me, you fucking cunt! You and your oaf of a husband and his son tortured me all my life! Even though I was your sisters son. I should fucking kill you all right now." I shouted feeling hatred everywhere in my body.


Vernon fell on to his knees. He was terrified. He spoke in a terrified tone.


"We're sorry. Please don't Potter. Forgive us." Vernon begged me.


"Fuck you Dursley." I spat.


I punched his face hitting him right in the nose and he fell and blood ran from his nose. I had broken his nose. I then spat on his face.
Petunia and Dudley rushed to Vernon. They weeped and Petunia tried to stop his blood by using her hankey.


"Please Potter please let us live." Petunia begged me through tears.


"Give me a reason cunt." I growled.


"You're you're mother Lily wouldn't have wanted us to die." Petunia stuttered. My anger and hatred increased. I felt I would lose whatever control I had left.


"Don't you dare speak of my mother again bitch or I will burn your mouth. You're wrong. She would have killed you herself if she was alive." I snarled.
Dudley pissed himself right then and there. Petunia sank away in fear looking defeated. Vernon was howling in pain. This brought satisfaction.
Satisfaction at seeing them cower before me calmed my anger a bit.


I looked at them for a few minutes contemplating whether I should go through with slaughtering them. Finally common sense came to me.


"It seems its your lucky day you bastards. This is the last summer I will spend at this house. You will never see me again. Get out of house this summer until I'm gone or else I might change my mind." I told them in a deadly tone. Fuck Dumbledore. I had my mind up. No matter what he did I would have my way.


The Dursleys looked relieved and ran out of the kitchen. I had my breakfast which calmed me down completely. The Dursleys came down packed and drove away quickly. Good riddance. I would never have deal with them again. I almost regret not killing them.


After that I went back to my room. I went through my purchases. My new robes had been luxuriously made. I had bought one of the most expensive robes available in Britain. It resembled the kind Lucius Malfoy and the richest purebloods wore in Britain. I was happy. It was about time I enjoyed the more luxuries life. This brought a problem though. Ron would be jealous and would put up a bitch fest for sure. I groaned at that but I wouldn't have to deal with that now.


The wand holster. It would safely keep my wand and I could draw it quickly if needed. This would very useful.


Wand maintenance and Broom maintenance kits would do their functions and would save me from cleaning my wand and my firebolt myself. I was satisfied with that.


The Potions Cauldrons were of the highest quality and matched the ones used by Potions Masters. It was even of higher quality than the ones Snape used. It would make my potions brewing much more easier.


My new trunk was larger than my old trunk and my things only filled half of it. Another useful purchase.


Then I went through all the books I had bought. I had bought about twenty books. They were books about higher level charms that would help me improve my charms knowledge, books explaining about magical modes of travel, history books about wizarding history, the first war, about great wizards of the past, great wars of the past, dark lords of the past. Astrology, Herbology books to help me improve in them. Books about the general wizarding world. Books about old pure blood families and pureblood customs. After all I had come from an ancient noble pureblood line and I didn't want to look like an idiot knowing nothing about. Basic defense books which while not as good as my Dark Art book had nice useful spells.


All in all it was money well spent.


It was lunch time. While I had my lunch I realised I had another problem. I had far more important things to do than look after the house. I contemplated solutions for it before it hit me. An house elf could help solve my problems but I had no I idea where to get one. I knew only one. Dobby. I did not want him. That little bastard was crazy. He had injured me to "help" me. But I didn't have any other choice.


"Dobby." I called out nervously. I really did not want that mentally unstable critter as my house elf.


He appeared instantly as he saw me he burst into happiness.


"Harry Potter called Dobby!" he said in happiness.


"Dobby is great. Dobby is happy to be seeing the great and powerful Harry Potter!"


"Err, how are you Dobby."


"Dobby is great Harry Potter sir after you freed me from bad master I had nowhere to go. Mr. Albus Dumbledore gave Dobby a job. Every month 1 galleon appears on Dobby's mattress so Dobby is getting paid." He said bouncing happily.


"And why haven't you ever seen me since I freed you?" I asked curiously.


"Mr. Albus Dumbledore asks Dobby not to seek Harry Potter sir."


"Why did Dumbledore not want you to see me?" I asked suspiciously.


"He tells Dobby that the Great Harry Potter might not want Dobby's help right now." I silently added, "and he would be right." I let my suspicions go and was pleased with Dumbledore's handling of Dobby.


"Right look Dobby how would you like to work for me? I will pay you twice of what Dumbledore pays." I get straight to the point.


That damned psycho hugged me and began crying in happiness.


"Its Dobby's dream to serve the great and wonderful Harry Potter."


I struggled but got him away from me.


"Can Dobby be bonded to Harry Potter?" I wince at that.


"Whoa slow down there Dobby. Let's try this. How about I hire you for the summer? You can work for me on a trial basis. We could consider making it permanent at some point after we make certain that you like working for me?"


He hugs me again. Damn this lunatic fanboy house elf.


"Look Dobby I have a lot of important things to do. Don't disturb me until I call you myself."


"Yes Harry Potter sir."


"Right you can start by looking after this house." I order him and he gets to it.


I contemplate on what to do next. I think of taking another trip to Knockturn but its too risky. An idea hits me.


"Dobby" I call him out. He appears.


"Dobby's here to serve great Harry Potter sir."


"Dobby did Lucius Malfoy ever make you buy anything at Knockturn Alley?"


"Yes Harry Potter sir bad master often had me buying things there."


"So you know Knockturn Alley well?"


"Yes Harry Potter sir."


I grinned. "Great Dobby you will go and buy me a set of things I tell you. If the shopkeepers ask for a name pay them to not ask."


"I'll do it Harry sir."


I tell him I need books on creating portkeys, apparition, curses the Aurors use, advanced charms and transfiguration, more Dark Arts books, wandless magic books on the mind and hand him the galleons. He's off.


I suddenly remember what Ollie said to me when I was drunk and drugged up. He had invited me to the Puddlemere Team's practice session. It would start soon. I quickly took the Knight Bus and reached the Puddlemere Team's practice facility. I pass through the gates and the security guardsmake me wait. I wait there for a ten minutes completely bored out of my wand before Ollie comes.


"Took you long enough wanker." I growled. Ollie laughs at that.


"Harry mate glad you can make it." He beamed at me and gave me his hand. I shook it.


"Come mate I'll introduce you to everyone and I'll give you tour."


Ollie shows me the swimming pools, cafeteria, weight rooms, racquetball courts, and a lot of the stuff I see in those weightlifting and boxing magazines. I have to say I'm impressed. Puddlemere trains in style.


"Very impressive Ollie." I point it out to him.


Ollie beams at that. "Right Harry I will introduce you to my team mates and the staff."


I meet the players and staff. Funnily enough they wanted my autographs and pictures with me. I consented to that and I spent a while there discussing there about Quidditch.


"Next Harry you get to see our practice session."


Ollie leads me out onto the pitch and I get to watch Puddlemere United go through a practice session. I'm impressed. Proffesional Quidditch is far faster, rougher and tougher than school Quidditch.
After a while Ollie comes over to me and offers me a chance to fly with them. He gives me a Firebolt and I take to the skies. Eventually after while playing with them they are impressed with me and ask me to join them after that I take a shower and enjoy the swimming pools there.


I left Puddlemere United's practice facility and hailed the Knight Bus.
I made it home to see Dobby cooking supper. I look at the books he's bought. Titles read "Secrets of the Dark Arts" "Complete Auror spell catalog.""Mastery of Tranfiguration" "Highest Level Charms" "Complete Guide of Portkeys" "Apparition for Beginners." "Wandless Magics" "Magics of the Mind." "Occlumency and Legilimency."


"Secrets of the Dark Arts" is a much better book than "The Study of the Dark Arts" For one it has even more disgusting curses. It has more powerful, efficient and less complex curses.


"Complete Auror spell catalog." is pretty much the guide the Aurors learn from during their Auror training. It has more spells which I would call "light" but it also many spells which are outright Dark Arts.


"Mastery of Transfiguration" contains the most advanced transfiguration available. This would be hard but I knew I could do it.


"Highest Level Charms" is basically the same as "Mastery of Transfiguration" containing the most advanced charms out there.


"Complete Guide of Portkeys." explains how Portkeys work and how you make one. it was illegal for an underaged wizard to make one. Most useful knowledge.


"Apparition for Beginners." explains Apparition but it has complication. I would need another wizard wit me If I splinched myself learning it. Same as Portkeys it was illegal to do it underage.


"Wandless Magics" explained about it and how it was done. But it said only the most powerful of wizards can do it. I felt I was powerful enough. But again I would have to wait until I was at Hogwarts to do it.


"Magics of the Mind" explained the various magics the mind could do. The most interesting of that was how I could remove someone else's memory.
But the best book was the last one. "Occlumency and Legilimency." A most useful are that would be extremely useful to me.


I spend the rest of the day reading those books and learning new spells only taking off a few hours to go muggle shopping and getting some of the most expensive and finest muggle clothes.


All in all it had been an useful day. As sleep approaches me I move to the Master Bedroom of the Dursleys. I had Dobby renovate it for me and move my things there. Its much more bigger and larger than mine and more comfortable. I give in to my sleep.

 

You're kinda going through the bad indy!Harry cliché list and ticking every single box at this point, mate. Your writing could use some work but the main problem is the content.

 

Sorry Alexxz but I'm afraid this story just doesn't work - basically everything needs to be changed, from the dialogue, to the pacing, to the formatting, to the plot, to the unnecessary and out of character profanity, to the lists.

 

Updating this post as I read your new chapter good sir.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bf2nhEoZNm0/maxresdefault.jpg

https://duckieandsoupreadtogether.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/jack-harkness-ew-face.gif?w=300&h=165

https://media3.giphy.com/media/d9YpHmnGFp1ny/200_s.gif

http://i.imgur.com/Vz1mTb0.gif

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/OTDxBgb

https://img.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1378/48/1378483175114.jpg

After that, there wasn't any one gif that could describe my reaction to taking a 13 year old to a nightclub and getting him wasted. The club also seems to have no bouncers and people are literally having sex everywhere - implying the author has never been to a real club. Everyone is pulling hot girls, and Harry manages to pull Katie at which point Wood rolls up (ignoring the hot witches grinding on him) to cockblock Harry.

The whole scene with the Dursley family was so out of the blue it was brilliant. He just suddenly snaps and threatens to kill them all, they go from not believing he can do magic to believing he'll kill them (using magic) in two seconds - cue much micturition and fainting.

I'm not gonna lie to you Alex, it's really shit. But for some unknown reason, it's so bad that I genuinely enjoyed reading this. Your fic is actually banter, and while I would recommend you to stop posting it here, please rest assured I will continue to follow it on ff.net.

 

Pretty much this.

Your writing is at a level where "tips and tricks" aren't really going to help you. You have a systemic problem. You need to learn how to keep your head above water, and honestly the first thing I'd recommend would be to read a lot. A lot a lot. And not fanfiction, either. I would say read a thousand words for every one you write.

Read good, published authors, and - you don't have to make notes or anything - just pay attention to some of the mechanics at work there. How to phrase things organically. How to vary sentence length and paragraph structure. Also how to use English grammar correctly, because you need some help there as well.

The main problem isn't the content - though that doesn't help - it's the writing.

EDIT:

That's pretty funny. Ah, the difference a simple comma can make.

 

You lost me at 'I was angry'.

 

I'm sorry, I tried reading, I really did, but already at the summary I could tell you what the fic will be about. If it was somebody else writing(like Taure or maybe Joe), with the same summary, I would read the shit out of it looking for the twist. But your writing, style and plot is the same as 90% of ffnet. Granted your grammar seems better then the 99% but other than that this fic has nothing going for it.

I agree with Newcomb, read some already established author(I like Lem) and see how they write.

1/5

 

I don't know if it's a joke a.k.a. Catharsis, some sort of satire of the indy!Harry trope, if it's not it's really crappy, if it is...well it's still crappy. I'm sorry, I think everyone pretty much summed up the major points.

 

Chapter 3 - The End of Summer

July 31, 1994

It was my birthday. I had spent the last month practicing and learning from my books. It had helped a lot. I would say I easily matched a 7th year in terms of my skill and knowledge. As always though learning it and actually doing it was another thing. I had finally found a solution to where I would train. Dobby had told me about the Room of Requirement. Dobby had been good help for me looking after the house and taking care of my food. The Dursleys hadn't even tried to come back. I had scared them good. As for my birthday and the fact that No 4 Privet Drive was completely empty I had told my friends. Well they said would have give me my best birthday yet. I didn't know if this was a particularly good idea. Ron and Hermione would also come.

My friends came with a bang. They made their way into my house barging in all getting around me to hug me and wish me.

I got away from the lot of them. "Guys, Guys first someone do the the muggle repelling charm I don't want my neighbors becoming curious on us."

Ollie went and did that.

"That's done now Harry. We said we would give your best birthday ever and we are going to do that" Katie said.

"And how are you going to do that Kit Kat?" I asked her unsure.

Fred and George grinned at that. "Well Harrykins like this" Fred said and opened the trunk he had bought.

The trunk contained several liquors of different variety, different magical potions, magical powders.

"And these. I and Alicia baked it ourselves." Angie said. Several cakes of different shape Quidditch equipment reading Happy Birthday Harry.

"Those look delicious." I told her mouth watering.

"Too right Harry." Ron joined in.

"Are you all out of your minds?" Hermione shouted "Magical Alcohol, Magical drugs."

"Shut it Hermione. We are magical. Do you think these have any harmful effects on us?" I told her sternly.

Hermione blinked and stared open mouthed.

I smirked "Perhaps you don't know everything as you think"

"Shut it you prat" Hermione spat.

"Enough Lets gets this party started." Geroge said and switched on the wireless radio he had brought.

"Lets cut your cake first Harry." Alicia said.

I cut the cake with everyone singing me Happy Birthday. I had to admit it moved me. I had never had a birthday party before.

I took a bite of piece of cake half of it.

"This is delicious." I said and fed the other half to Katie "What do you think Kit Kat?"

"This is so good Harry." Katie said.

And we had our cakes with everyone complimenting Angie and Alicia. They blushed at that.

Fred took out a potion in one hand and a magical liquor in another. "Right lads and lasses lets go crazy."

We drunk, did the drugs, danced. While Hermione was glaring at us. Ron's first try of this was similar to mine. He was grinning madly. Hermione refused to take any of it.

"Stop being such an uptight bitch Hermione" Katie finally snapped at her behavior.

"Katie how dare you call me that?" Hermione said shocked.

"Woah Kit Kat." I said in my drunk and drug filled haze.

"Who wants to play Truth and Dare?" Ollie said grinning madly.

"I do" Alicia shouted.

That provided a nice distraction to the Katie Hermione war that would have erupted. They still glared at each other.

We formed a circle and took an empty bottle. George spun it and it fell on me.

"Dare." I said.

George grinned. "Tell us you're a poof and you love Malfoy and you want his cock in your ass."

"Fuck you George."

"Too much of a pussy Harry?" Angie said.

"Fine. I'm a poof and I'm in love with Draco Malfoy. I want his cock in my ass." I said. "I think I'm going to throw up George you wanker."

Everyone laughed at that. Even Hermione.

"My turn" Ollie said and took the bottle.

It spun towards Ron.

"Err Truth." Ron said.

Ollie laughed

"Oh this is going to be good. Tell us Ron have you ever masturbated to Viktor Krum?"

Ron squirmed. No way in hell. Ron gulped and said. "Once it was experimental."

"What the fuck Ron!" I laughed. Everyone collapsed in laughter.

Ron took the bottle and spun it. It fell towards Angelina.

"Dare" Angie said.

"Show us your tits." Ron said.

Angie blushed and took of her robes. They were nice and supple. We cooed appreciatively at that.

Like that we played the hilarious game. By the end of the evening I had kissed all the girls except Hermione.

This was the life. Hermione had left the afternoon smacking my head.

That night when they left Katie hung back.

"Why are you still here Kit Kat?'

Katie smirked. "We are going to finish of what we couldn't last time Harry. Think of it has a birthday present."

Katie kissed me and I kissed her back. Her lips were delicious as always.

I kissed her and lifted her making out with her and took her to my bedroom.

I threw her on the bed. I jumped on her. Katie turned me over and leant back to my pants.

She took out my pants and held my cock in her hands stroking it.

"Fuck Kit Kat" I groaned.

After a while of stroking my cock she took my cock in her mouth. I screamed in ecstasy at that.

'KATTTTIEEEEEEE!"

All in all my first time having sex had been fantastic. I went to sleep that night happily. This was definitively the best birthday I had ever had.

August 25, 1994

Another month had passed and I had been spent it practicing and learning again. Now I felt I was at least the level of Aurors. I smiled at my progress. But of course I wouldn't know that until I actually tried it. It was the Quidditch World Cup time. And that's why here I was in the tent of Ollie's with Katie, Alicia and Angelina. The Weasleys and Hermione were in another tent. I had just unpacked and met up with Ron and Hermione. We went sight seeing.

There were a lot of people from other countries. I bought Ron and Hermione and myself Omnioculars and Ron a Viktor Krum figure. I told them about my summer discovery of me being one of the richest people in Britain.

"Why do you get everything I want Potter?" Ron said bitterly.

"Ron!" Hermione said scandalized.

"Why do you get everything I want Weasley?" I spat

"What?" Ron gaped.

"You have everything I want. A family, a normal life. Everything I never experienced." I said bitterly.

Ron looked shocked and stared at me opened mouthed.

"I'm sorry Harry. I never thought of it like that." Ron apologised.

"Its alright Ron." I said and Ron hugged me. I hugged him back.

And we were best friends again.

Hermione smacked the two of us ans said in tears. "You two are such idiots." and hugged us.

We spent the rest of the day enjoying ourselves.

We were in a queue. Myself, The Weasleys and Ollie's gang. Funnily enough we both had tickets to the top level box.

As we made it inside and took our seats Fudge noticed me.

"Harry my boy come here." Fudge grinned. I groaned and let Fudge introduce me to his political friends who I couldn't care less about. I excused myself and made it back. Funnily enough the Malfoys arrived. I grinned. This would be good.

"Draco have you told your father what I did to you?" I asked slyly.

Draco looked shocked. Looks like he hadn't.

"What Draco. What did Potter do to you?" Narcissa asked in concern.

"I just beat up your son to pulp." I said smirking.

Narcissa and Lucius looked shocked.

"Is this true Draco?" Lucius asked shocked.

"Yes Father." Draco said gritting his teeth in anger.

The elder Malfoys were angry and glared at me.

"How dare you Potter you pathetic half blood!" Narcissa snarled.

"Shut it you bitch with your pureblood bullshit." I said cooly

"Don't talk to my mother like that Potter." Draco snarled.

"Fuck you Malfoy. I will speak however the hell I wish." I spat.

"You will pay for this Potter." Lucius said angrily.

"Oh really? You think you can succeed when your master Voldemort couldn't?"

"Don't you dare speak his name Potter." Lucius got even more angry and made his way to his wand.

I made my way toward my mine.

"Don't Malfoy. You are surrounded." Arthur Weasley said pointing to his children and Ollie's gang who had their wands in their hand.

Lucius gulped. He knew he was fighting a losing battle.

I laughed. "You're pathetic Lucius just like your son."

"You will pay Potter. I promise you that." Lucius said coldly and he and Draco and Narcissa went to their seats glaring at me. I kept laughing at them enraging them further.

"Well done Harry. I always wanted to get one up on Lucius" Arthur grinned.

"Think nothing of it Mr Weasley I enjoy embarrassing the Malfoys." I said

"Lucius Malfoy nearly pissed himself. Well done Harry mate" said Ollie.

We laughed at that.

The match was spectacular to say the least. My first experience of watching international Quidditch was great. I realised school Quidditch was level below theirs.

Krum really impressed me. He was better than me I could admit that.

"Think I can match up to him in a few years Ron?" I asked.

"Definitely Harry you have the potential mate." Ron said.

The Irish destroyed the Bulgarians but Krum caught the snitch.

In the midnight as we were chatting about the match in Ollie's tent. I excused myself to the loo.

As I made my way back an horrible scream came. What the fuck.

I turned around.

People were running and pushing each other in panic. The Death Eaters were here. They were cursing and levitating people of the ground.

It was time for war. Bring it on motherfuckers. Lets see what Hopkirk thinks of this.

August 26, 1994

I couldn't use the Dark Arts. Hopkirk would know If I did. And that would land me in all kinds of trouble. I was frustrated at that. I would have to use non Dark Arts spells.

I disillusioned myself and made my around the screaming running people, the burning tents. The Death Eaters had got the muggles as well and some were levitated while others were cursed. Bastards.

This was not the time for direct combat. I was a Gryffindor but not an idiot.

This was time to be sneaky. Slytherin style. I got close to a Death Eater who was alone. But at that time my Disillusionment Charm had worn off.

Damn I would have to practice that. That's what I meant by learning and doing it was another thing altogether.

The Death Eater noticed me and smirked "Harry Potter. How nice of you to come to me."

"If you have the balls open your mask and speak to me." I said.

"I don't think so Potter." The Death Eater snarled.

"Crucio!" The Death Eater said waving his wand at me.

I dodged it and aimed wand towards him "Stupefy!"

He merely blocked my stunner with a shield charm.

He sent another curse at me. I recognised it. It was a dark cutting curse.

I dodged again and transfigured a rock to a rock lion and sent it towards him silently. Silent magic was very hard. I had barely pulled it of.

He hadn't expected that and by the time he tried to curse it had the rock lion bit his hands of. I sent a stunner quickly and he was stunned.

I went towards him, leant and opened his mask. I guessed who he was. He looked like Crabbe if he was middle aged. It was Crabbe Sr.

I stood up and made my way disillusioning myself again. I hoped this time it would last longer.

There were two Death Eaters who were cursing people. I sent a bludgeoner towards one of them. It hit him and he fell back in pain. The sound of his bone breaking was sickly. And just my luck my Disillusionment charm broke again.

The other Death Eater noticed me. He was surprised. I quickly sent a stunner. He blocked it and sent a Cruciatus curse towards me. I tried to dodge but it hit me. My wand fell as I fell to the ground.

I felt as if a thousand knives burning hot were carving into me. I screamed.


I had never experienced pain like this before. The Death Eater laughed.

"This Potter is for the Dark Lord." He said and sent a cutting curse to my legs. It ripped open my flesh and my blood came.

I silently tried to summon my wand under the torture curse and the pain of my torn flesh. Wandless magic another thing I had learned. I hoped it would work. It did.

My wand was in my hand. The Death Eater looked surprised. Under the pain I was in I shouted "Explodra!" the Blasting Curse. He put up a shield charm quickly but it wasn't fully erected. It blasted him and he fell back his bones crunching.

I laid their on the ground recovering myself from there torture curse. I got up and look at my opponents. They were unconscious and some of their bones had come out. Blood everywhere came from them.

"That's what happens when you fuck with me." I said to their unconscious bodies. I smiled in satisfaction.

So far so good. I had taken down three Death Eaters. I took off their masks. I recognised them. It was Goyle Sr and Yaxley. I had read about them and seen photos of them in my books. They too had claimed the imperious. It was Yaxley who had cruciated me.

Suddenly a curse came towards me. It almost hit me but I dodged it.

I looked at who it was. It was someone with in an Auror Dress. She was pink haired. She recognised me.

"Sorry Mr. Potter I thought you were a Death Eater." The women said.

"Its alright. I don't blame you. Look could you help me. I was tortured under the Cruciatus curse, my legs has been torn open and I'm losing blood and I feel I am going to go unconsious any second now." I said tiredly.

The Auror quickly looked at my legs and did an healing charm. The would in my legs began healing up.

"Thanks" I said.

The Auror looked shocked. "The Cruciatus Curse on a boy and tearing his legs. Bastards. Who did this ?"

"It was Yaxley senior." I said pointing at their bodies. The Auror looked towards them and was shocked at what I had done to them.

"Like my handiwork Auror." I said. She turned back.

"Call me Tonks. How could you? You're only a kid."

"I'm not a kid Tonks. I'm not the boy who lived for nothing." I said.

"Well done Potter." Tonks said appreciatively.

"Call me Harry." I said.

"Ok Harry I will apparate you to St Mungo's. You need to be looked by an healer." Tonks said.

Suddenly a bang was heard in the sky. We looked at it. It was the Dark Mark. Someone had set of the Dark Mark.

"Not a good sign. I need to get you out of here quickly. Hold my hand." Tonks said hurriedly.

"Alright Tonks."

I said and held Tonks' hand. Tonks apparated me to St Mungo's.

 

I tell you what Alex mate, with the speed of your updates you could be one of DLP's favourite authors if you actually wrote well.

Anyways, chapter 3 was a significant decline in quality from the comedy brilliance of chapter 2. I know there's the expression "ignore the haters and carry on", but in this case I really would recommend you just stop.

Also why the FUCK is Harry calling Katie 'Kit Kat'?

 

I'm dying here rofl.

Remember kids: have a break! Have a Kit Kat!

 

Exactly why are you still posting this here? I recommend going somewhere else... Like not here

 

I didn't read the first 2 chapters but I read most of the third and I gotta say it was hilarious. Kit Kat lol oh boy was this terrible.

 

Two comments.

One:

That should be "wound" not "would" and "a healing" not "an healing".

Two:
The whole thing is terrible.

 

I think he should expand on the magical-drugs part. It would of really made the chapter if you explained what the magic drugs did... Maybe get Harry and kit Kat addicted to them and become drug-fiends.

Then you could expand it and have Tonks get hooked to. Her being an auror and all she can steal from what gets confiscated and all that good stuff.