If Ryuugi need a break, then I agree. I'm just afraid that mods are freaking slow there.

 

Of course, and there's nobody better to decide when an author needs nice, long, involuntary break than the spacebattles moderators, those kind souls.

They've said their investigation into the naughty naughty words might only take a few weeks, don't worry.

 

Don't forget that spacebattles was the same place where they had an entire argument over circumsition for an entire 18 pages over a news story.

 

It's pure bitching, but my god how long can they take to fix the issue. On DLP it wouldn't have taken even a day. Every time I refresh the thread and see it's still closed, I wonder how incompetent and slow the staff there is.

 

They do have to look through 18,000 pages of bullshit

 

They're not actually looking through it, and I can't see why they would. One guy kept posting idiot comments, so they thread-banned him. That happened on day 1. Only a couple people got mad at him in the last two-three pages, and the harshest thing someone said was "Nobody likes you because you're a troll." And they didn't thread-ban that guy.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what the fuck they think they're "investigating."

 

Looks like CSI:SB is finally complete. It seems like there's going to be a new thread started by Ryuugi whenever he wants to start updating again.

At least this mess is finally wrapped up. Hopefully people show a little more sense in the new thread.

 

How dramatic.

 

For those who care, here's the new thread.

I posted it on IRC, but forgot to do so here.

 

Spoilers ahead:

As much as Ryuugi often goes over the top in TGWP, I don't think I've ever read a work that so skillfully manages to take a character from canon!Jaune to nearly omniscient!immortal! Jaune.

And yet that's not the best part of TGWP. Its enjoyable, but that would leave TGWP merely a much refined version of countless CYOA OP wankfests that populate Spacebattles of SV.

The best part of TGWP for me is the plotting. The countless loose threads Ryuugi has left dangling from the beginning that he has been slowly weaving together for some unseen finale.

With the last couple of chapters we've answered some long-standing questions-- the mystery of the Grimm defying physics, the nature of Jaune's powers-- that I assumed the story simply took for granted. Its not often that a fanfic tries to answer every question in canon practically from scratch and succeeds.

Your pacing has also been skillful. I genuinely had no idea that when Jaune went on his first mission with his dad, stuff would go so south. Conquest and that whole arc really came out of nowhere, which is an impressive surprise. I really felt, along with Jaune and everyone else there, that seriously bad stuff was going down that whole arc.



Criticisms:
1. Jaune has become boring as a character. He goes through a sing and dance routine with Adam of them insulting each other, then being bros. He goes through an intimidation routine with Weiss/Cinder/antagonist. He goes through an arrogant prodigy routine with Finn and Albus. The times we've seen a more interesting Jaune have been with his family, especially his sisters and mother, and with Gou and Autumn. That's why I'm glad the latter two are hopefully going to play a larger role gong forward. My advice to Ryuugi: try to have characters who interact with Jaune in a different way. Keter was interesting, but too much of an infodump to be interesting as a character.

2. Jaune's internal monologue has become irritating. His confidence and humorous observations are attractive-- but only if you knew him in person, not when you know him from the inside. His moments of " Emerald followed a step behind me, shooting my uncertain glances that she probably thought I couldn’t see—but I could. I totally fucking could just like I could feel the concern radiating off her soul, and it cheered me up a little bit" are fun because they show his growth. But they also show he's getting smug. Its well-deserved, but still grating.

Overall, a 5/5 work. The only thing I really suggest is to fine-tune Jaune. Or maybe its all part of your long-runnning effort to make Jaune visibly more alien as his powers grow and he resembles his first incarnation and his detachment from humanity.

 

I'm double posting, but I think it will be substantive.

Mild implied SPOILERS ahead.

Some recent developments in this fic-- the plot, that has really meandered for a while, has finally started to come together.

I don't think we're quite at the endgame yet, but we're definitely near some more plot-important stuff.

Juane has been interacting more with Autumn and Gou, which has been wonderful as a change in pace, and I've begun to enjoy his interactions with Raven and Cinder a lot as well.

I find I like Jaune when he's either very open and vulnerable, like with his family and Autumn and Gou and to a lesser extent Adam. I also like Jaune with Raven, because they have a relationship that transitioned from one based on deception and mutual distrust to mutual respect, friendship, and though Ryuugi is probably just teasing the shippers, mild hints of some more.

Cinder is fun because she's a mystery Jaune hasn't been able to crack-- for once, Jaune isn't just Observing someone and bluffing his ass off. instead, he's actually worked for his knowledge, and is still caught with his pants down sometimes.

Overall, I think the last couple of weeks of chapters have been better than what came before. More of Jaune as a person and not as an inhuman death machine, and more challenges for Jaune that are more complex than 'a physical God and his minions want to kill/use you.'

5/5 for sure.

 

Lol. After the latest chapter he deserves a Feat for bluffing. Holy shit.

 

I commented on it in the SB thread, but Jaune's Semblance would totally be epic-level bluffing if he didn't have all this past life drama going on (seriously, Raven should start charging him for baggage when she shuttles him between continents). Even canon Jaune, who is woefully inept in comparison, bluffed his way into Beacon.

 

I continue to read this as it's updated, but I'm skimming it at this point. It's not engaging me. The social stuff, where Jaune bluffs or plays double-agent as a member of the White Fang is amusing to read; but any time action or game mechanics come into play I just start skimming. Yeah, he kills a level two thousand hydra, so what? It's just not thrilling to read, Grimm aren't interesting antagonists themselves; not if they lack any isolated will or personality. Cinder is more interesting of a foe, though I was hoping she would turn out to be a red herring.

 

Except she is.

 

Honestly, I find this fic sort of frustrating. I feel like the plot has been far too drawn out ever since the conquest arc. It feels as if it has been just a slow boil for nearly half a year now. While I enjoy the characters, I wish the pacing was much better. 3/5

 

How is Cinder a red herring?

Spoiler

He thought she was famine, and he was right.

 

Spoiler

She's definitely Famine, but we don't know if Cinder is in control or not. If Cinder, as opposed to Famine, is in control, its possible Jaune may be able to ally with her. The whole part where Famine came across as defensive over whether Famine or Cinder was in control hints at this.

 

That still doesn't make her a red herring though.

 

well

Spoiler

Malkuth is the main villain so she's kinda a distraction