Howdy folks, I have an idea for my fanfic (to be):
- What if the UK Government know about magic (since WW2) and develop an unit to study and observe [M-SOG: Magic Study and Observation Group, a part of MI-5]? In addition, MC is the son of an agent working there
- MC has traits of all 4 houses but he choose Slytherin - because he likes Cook... I mean Potion. He also builds some working electronic devices in school
- MC and his friends (including Harry) form a Student Council, pushing the quality of Hogwarts forward and considered as "heirs". All stereo-types are practically removed
- They also form a Junior Front against Death Eaters (secretly, of course. Though they are supported by M-SOG]. They would confront the Dark Lord sooner than in the books

Note on Background:
- Her Majesty (Queen Elizabeth II) also spent some times in Hogwarts. One of her grandchildren is also a member of the Council
- Small bash on Dumbledore. Ron will have a chance to shine very soon
- Magic and Technology will continuously clash throughout the story (even though MC tries to make them work together)

 

http://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=368263

 

Off the top of my head - "Muggle world and Wizarding world colliding" stories never work out. As in, "grand total of one or two good/readable ones ever" levels.

In general, the clash is just too... a lot of things to ever be good.

For example, Rowlings' Wizarding World, despite living alongside Muggles in plain sight, never interacts with it beyond a casual level, ever. Period, end of sentence. The Wizarding World isn't even remotely concerned with the possibility of Muggles discovering their presence. Because, as we see, it simply isn't a concern. It's for all intents and purposes impossible for the Wizarding World to be discovered.

Now, obviously, this is an AU, so it doesn't have to hew to canon in everything... but in this regards, I always feel that messing with this aspect that is always so consistent within the series just makes any resulting work feel fundamentally off. A Wizarding/Muggle mix or clash just... it's not Harry Potter.

Secondly, bashing is simply never, ever, ever a good thing, no matter how "small" it is. It's lazy, usually rather narrow-sighted, and often makes the protagonist come off as somewhat unlikable unless the bashed characters are just made into caricature-like "villainous" or "stupid versions of themselves. At which point you just lose the reader because they seem nothing like their canon selves.

As for technology versus magic... well, plainly... in Harry Potter, any technology older than say, Renaissance era clockwork and such just doesn't work with magic. At all. The stuff that does work with magic, like the Ford Angelia, is far more magic than it is technology - hence the car's personality, self-locomotion, etc etc.

This is a mechanical problem - basically technology + magic just can't work together in canon. But you can always AU this out...

But you shouldn't. Like I said before with the Wizarding World vs Muggle world thing, mixing magic and technology is distinctly un-Harry Potter. Harry Potter magic is fantastical, especially in the early books. Magic is distinctly wonderful and mysterious and special and great and always at least partly unexplainable or bizarre - it's everything the Muggle world isn't. Thematically, the story is about magic and the fantastic, the emotional, fantastical conflicts and way the world works - not about the in-story cut-and-dry, plain, boring Muggle world.

In its nature, also, Harry Potter magic is Romantic not Mechanical. There are guiding principles and laws and such, but you can't mix it with the rigid, scientific, empirical bits of real world technology. Magic is an art, not a science. Lily dies for her son, and her love is what gives him protection - do you plan on rigorously testing how much damage you can inflict on Harry to test the exact energy of a mother's protection? Harry Potter spells are the same, they embody concepts, not mechanical ways of doing things - Avada Kedavra kills for example. How does it kill? Does it stop the heart from beating? Does it end brain waves? No. It just kills. The person dies. That is how Avada Kedavra works.

Taure has a rather excellent document written on HP magic and its details.

As said before, you can AU this away... but this is one of the core parts of HP. If you make the magic of HP... you know... not magical, then are you even writing HP fanfiction anymore?

That's my view of just a few of the overall concepts you have and why you shouldn't write some of them. Don't get discouraged by these though, just try to keep in mind stuff like this when think of story concepts.

And, as such, it is my advice that you don't write it. It might be entertaining to some people, yes, and maybe that's your only goal. But it wouldn't be good.

 

Don't worry. M-SOG/Muggle world doesn't (and can't) explain magic. Yes, I don't deny the fact that I'll have MC question about it - but soon, he'll shrug it off and say "It's magic. What else do you want?"

The goal of M-SOG (MI-5) is more about keeping troubles of Magical world out of the Muggle one. Even the most hawk-ish guy only dreams about recruiting magicians to their unit. Also note that M-SOG, in general, lack the information about how the magical work - hence explain their name (Study and Observation).

The bash I deploy in the fanfic is that I'd let Dumbledore dwell on his Greater Good - though after a small talk with the Student Council (including Harry, MC and their friends), he realizes his fault - end of bash. Rule of emotion works simply: The stronger the emotion, the stronger the magic becomes. End of story.

And in case you're wondering: Muggle/Tech part only builds up the background of the MC - for God's sake, he's only 11. Every 11-year-old boy has dream about wielding magic (that, plus the fact that MC has a magical mother...). It wasn't until Book 4 (I plan to have MC enroll before Harry) that he starts to have some simple tech equipment (most of them mechanical - unaffected by magic. The only electronic device is the lamp powered by magic). M-SOG would come in the picture to confront Death Eaters - and MC only tell glimpses of that.
MC still uses magic to solve problem. Critical reasoning is probably the only "Tech" weapon that uses throughout the story

 

That's your problem. Dumbledore's greater good was buried with the rest of his youth after Ariana's death, like 90 years before canon (or whatever. Actual value unimportant). He no longer followed the "Greater Good." It's part of the schism between him and Grindlewald to begin with.

Any fic that cites Dumbledore as using the "Greater good" as reason for anything, is missing the point of his character so badly I could throw a rock at my refrigerator and get closer than the author. It's carte blanche to exit the story and stop reading because they just don't fuckin get it.

I mean, that breakup is a fundamental part of his character is it not? Like, he realized how much of an adolescent fuck up he was being, and stopped, and it only took a tragedy as big as him possibly killing his sister.

 

Who or what is MC?

 

Main character

 

Master of Ceremonies, obviously.

 

apoc, to be fair, FFN is full of plz-update-soon's (I always find it hard to call them, you know, people) who just luuuurve bashing. 725k entries in the HP section and I'll bet a third of them include Dumdumdore.

ComradeH, look again at your OP in this thread. Stand about a meter away from the monitor and squint. Then sit at the desk, lean forward and open your eyes really wide.

Can you see?

You were looking for something good in there, but there's nothing. I wonder if this thread would exist if not for the recent Lurkers' Rights Movement.

If you want to write a spy-fic, you're better off going the Unspeakable route. Apoc told you pretty much everything you need to know about muggle-wizard relations, but just one thing from me. You can absolutely have magic and technology clash throughout the story. Just keep in mind that most of the time, magic will win every time. Like, if you have a sniper half a mile away, then I suppose if the wizard is unsuspecting, the sniper wins. If the wizard knows to expect something though, he just wears one of the twins' Shield Hats and no amount of bullets will kill him. And he might be wearing one of those hats anyway because apparently most wizards are such scrubs that the Ministry bought five hundred of those things.

 

This thread exists because someone over on alternatehistory.net jokingly suggested his story idea would be popular on DLP.

 

Oh, so that's what the link was. I don't have an account, so couldn't log in and see. Could someone screencap the thread on althist for the lolz?

Or do I not need an account? Because that link goes to the login page.

 

http://i.imgur.com/MdCG2dj.png

There's a lot more but I can't be bothered getting the rest of it. I'd suggest making an account, just avoid HP stories on that forum.

 

I thought alternatehistory.com couldn't sink any lower, but I was wrong.

 

Syed's there! Amazing.
ComradeH, taking this seriously and looking at the screen cap. You have a ton of ideas all about this world. You mention 'Book 4' and you've given a ton of info on all your organisations and other stuff - like the student council.

But, do you actually have a story, a plot that uses these elements, an adventure to write about?

Apoc had a wealth of constructive criticism about your ideas but the most important part of a story is its story, no? You've hardly mentioned that part (from what I can see) and I feel like it's probably not due to not wanting to post spoilers.

If you want to write a story, great. But focus on the actual events, too.

 

I claim partial credit.

And I wasn't joking. I tried to help him out and point out some of the problems, but I figured you guys would do a better job at helping him fixing this. And by fixing, I of course mean showing him the Light of the Dark Lord Potter and accepting this is mostly kind of bad.

 

Don't be surprised, syed is everywhere.

 

You have no ideas on warfare, do you? Take the tech-base at 90s, a high-caliber round can pretty much tore your head off (literally). The Shield Hat can slow down the bullet - but I doubt if the magician's head is still in one piece. In addition, booby traps (just ask VC [NLF] for more details)
And no, my story won't come to that... soon. I expect to be in Harry's Year 6 for that to happen officially.

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OK, here is my background:
- After Battle of Britain (1940), His Majesty (King Geogre VI) ordered MI-5 to set up an unit, fully focus on magical problem (hence comes M-SOG)
- Over the year, Merlin Society was formed as a place for Muggle/Non-magical family can ask for help (when one of their member is a magician)

- Our Main character (Victor Lawrence) was born in May 1979. His dad is an agent working for M-SOG and his Mom is a witch (Hufflepuff, 48). He showed accidental magic at age of 5. Learn fairly well at primary school (though he seems to like Math the most). From age of 9, he asked his dad's friends to show him some tricks in martial art [and he still oblivious to magic]. During schoolyear in Hogwarts, he only builds up his stamina (he's can be OP towards his magical friends, but only until they draw out their wands)
- In 1990, he received the letter. After the explanation from Mom... just say he almost burn down the house because he was (too) excited. He got sorted into Slytherin - much to Snape's dismay. He scores highly in Charm, Transfiguration and DADA, above-average in Herbology and Potion, History and Astronomy are not that good
In addition, he is one of the few Slytherin bother going to the library - and he can pretty much compete with Ravenclaws in term of knowledge. It is known that he has a friendly (kind-of) prank war with Gryffindor
- Summer 1991, he accidently comes across Harry Potter when he is coming back from library and soon find out the abusive situation.
The story begins from here: Victor will also meets Hermione (get sorted in Ravenclaw), Ron and Harry (Gryffindor). This group of 4 will pretty much wreck stuff up.
Above details will be covered or mentioned in the story (though it takes time)

Feel free to fix it please. And the maximum level where Victor and Harry can take is Grey - they refuse to uses Unforgivable, but they are willing to uses strong hexes (moderate/light dark magic) against opponents.
The most "tech-ish" stuff in my story is mobile phone (hardened against magic by a sh*tload of runes)

 

Magic --> Firearms in almost every possible way.

 

I'm not sure which is worse, this idea or the fact that I've definitely read a story with this idea before.