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Complete Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure by JBern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    Actually, a major shift in a magical form might very well occur in combat - a high-stress situation could force JBern's Harry (who is *highly* adaptable by anyone's standards) to shift. He's young, and his thought patterns are unusually flexible (SOOO *not* like Canon!Harry - the temperamental whiner.) 'Bungle' has taught him that he's highly powerful and that he's not at all interested in a fair fight. It's been made pretty plain that the jaguar is a reflection of Harry's basic self, and of his self image. He sees himself as tough, fast, and ruthless, and as essentially a lone fighter. When his jaguar was challenged by a creature that matched his strengths, he developed new strengths.

    He CAN work very well with others. He works well as a team player When He Trusts His Backup - the result of Dumbledore's screwing up Harry's life is that at this point he only trusts three other beings to cover his back; Hack, Kwan, and Bill. Trust comes hard to him, and once lost won't be regained. You'll notice that none of his close associates trust Dumbledore, and I suspect that Bill is the only one who has much in the way of outside commitments at all. Curse-breaking probably attracts people who don't tend to develop large social circles.

    Actually, Defense with Snape went much better than it might have done. Snape didn't provoke Harry into some half-assed explosion which would have given Severus an excuse to humiliate Potter.

    Lupin is an embezzler - he is misdirecting funds that were left in his trust for Harry's future. Remus Lupin was set up as sacrificial goat by Dumbledore, but Lupin knew what he was doing, and is doing it still. The most infuriating part is that AD and Lupin are right: Harry is FAR more loyal to Lupin than Lupin is to Harry. Lupin is going to get away with it. Maddening.

    I hope JBern remembers to hurt the Dursleys - child abusers can't be allowed to just walk.

    * wanders off, still snickering about Hack "feeling sticky" *
     
  2. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    Gotta agree there. Snape actually gave Harry the opportunity to justify his answers rather than just write it off as he could have when he said that he was wrong.

    That Snape gave him the latitude to explain things is interesting. Now, Jim could have simply been having him do so as sort of a "give Potter enough rope to hang himself" ploy. Meaning that he was just showing him a little latitude with the expectation that Harry would trip himself up and make a fool of himself. Personally I think it's likely that Snape didn't think that Harry could answer the question... and was shocked and stunned inside that the "fool of a Potter" actually acquitted himself.

    I expect that Snape won't continue to offer him a chance to offer a repeat performance in class... at least not using it as a forum to justify himself. Likely next he'll think to use a demonstration of some sort to "humble" potter... only it won't turn out planned.

    Well..technically he's not an embezzler... since embezzlement requires that he appropriate the funds for his own use. Lupin, from all indications hasn't taken a penny for his own betterment.

    At worst it's larceny, fraud, and misappropriation of funds.

    All crimes indeed. but for accuracy sake, Lupin isn't lining his own pocket... which is probably part of why he's not feeling so guilty about it. He can feel that he's not "actually stealing" because he's not keeping anything.

    Somehow I don't think he's going to get away with it in the end, but i do agree with you that Harry is far more loyal than Lupin is. I mean for heaven's sake... in 10 years h never once went to visit Harry? He never went to check on him, make sure he was well, that he was taken care of? What the hell sort of friend was he to James and Lily? Fair-weather seems an apt term applied to his friendship.

    As to him getting away with it... saddly I don't think there's much of a way to punish him other than put him in azkaban... I mean how is he going to pay otherwise? Indentured servitude? I mean it's not like he has any money to pay back what he's spent.

    Though I'm sure that Harry has figured out by now that he could just sever the outflow by withdrawing all his monies from Gringotts and banking elsewhere.

    Frankly I'm surprised that that hasn't happened already.

    Myself I'm expecting a trip to Diagon Alley in the not too distant future to do exactly that.




    I hope JBern remembers to hurt the Dursleys - child abusers can't be allowed to just walk.

    * wanders off, still snickering about Hack "feeling sticky" *[/QUOTE]
     
  3. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    I was reading the fic today and wondered if we would have the pleasure of a Harry vs Dumbledore fight at some point? It seems to me they will have to resolve their differences at some point and Dumbledore will probably not like some of the new things that Harry learned when he bungled in the jungle.(the spells in the book and bloodfire for an example) Harry is also not likely to take any of Dumbledores shit much less Snapes( he needs to have his ass kicked too).
     
  4. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    [/QUOTE]




    I'd like to point out that the money is being used to fund a vigilante (technically illegal) group. Lupin is supporting his political affiliation.

    It's possible that Harry doesn't have enough control over the money to move it - depending on how the Power of Attorney was set up for the inheritance, Harry might have Very little say about it until he gets his majority. Sirius might have arranged for Remus to have a pretty free hand, only having to keep a certain minium balance in the accounts.

    If Sirius was cynical and financially savvy, as befits the first-born of a wealthy old family, then Lupin has lots of checks and independant overseers just watching for abuse of the trust. If Sirius was sentimantal and trusting, then he might have thought that Lupin's affection for Harry, as well as a generous paycheck for doing the job of executor, would ensure excellent service. If Sirius was half-crazy after twelve years in hell and another year in Grimmauld place, if Sirius was blindly trusting of a friend and thumbing his nose at all the people who didn't expect him to choose a werewolf as executor, then he might not have noticed exactly how far AD's control of Lupin would extend. Assuming that Sirius just trying to sneer at all the Purebloods out there, he could have simply picked up one of those blank will forms at an attorney's office, signed on the dotted lines, and never thought it through.

    I guess it's pretty clear what *I* think happened.

    Or maybe Harry can't do the transfers while overseas, and he wanted to get to Hogwarts first. Personally, I would have taken care of the money absolutely as soon as possible, but Harry is a kid. Bill pointed out that Sirius probably WOULD have approved the money being used against Death Eaters. Based on what we know of the Black family, it certainly wouldn't be the first time that account paid for an assassination...
     
  5. Zield

    Zield Fourth Year

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    Harry is good and all but that wouldn't even be a fight Dumbledore would stomp his ass. Unlike everyone else that Harry will fight Dumbledore is the kind of person who would overestimate Harry's abilities. He's a none retarded version of Chilotha, years of experience and tons of power without the idiocy that comes with being a dark lord.


    Oh Hack, how I love you.

    I like most of the others didn't like the extremely quick turn around of "I hate Hermione" to "She's tolerable and I'll come around eventually."

    Only other thing that bothered me was the idea of an opening charm, I don't know why but I don't like it.

    Good chapter and I eagerly await more.
     
  6. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

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    I wonder if its just the fact we are all DLPers and like darker indy fics or something else but everyone seems pissed off the Harry didn't cunt punt Hermione. I personally would like to see her under crucio till her precious brain leaks out of her ears.
     
  7. Lord Hoth

    Lord Hoth Squib

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    I must bow before the might that is JBern, and as to to the, To fuck or not to fuck debate about Hermione, i must say, though my opinion may be skewed by my pervrted male organ, i would do her two ways to sunday then toss her out of the room the secnd you pull out, i mean sure she's a major cunt but still a man has needs, and then he can have a trip where he travels the world having sex in diffrent countrys, start in England with Narcissa malfoy.
     
  8. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    When I wrote the Harry and Hermione scene, I was trying to give the reader that Harry pities Hermione and that view of the world she clings to.

    As for her looks, she's been stressed out lost her two closest friends and the wards have been sapping her of her strength. She's lost a good deal of weight and the pressure has been getting to her.

    Some things will get better for Hermione. Other things won't.

    As for the comic book references, there are numerous places Harry could have come accross them. Picture Dean and Seamus arguing which comic book universe is better DC or Marvel. What did Harry do for those weeks alone in Diagon Alley at the beginning of Book 3. Maybe he saw Chico's collection in Rio and read a few of them with the appropriate translation charm.

    As for the criticsm, thanks. I'll just keep trying to put out the best story I possibly can. Some fans of the original might not like the direction it goes and others might like it more.

    Harry hasn't had a chance to sleep in his Jaguar form yet. He didn't need to for the final week in America and he has only been back in England for a day or so. The first night he collapsed in exhaustion crossing the ward line and slept in human form. So he hasn't been in his jaguar form for a little while and it will likely be a topic for chapter 4 along with a healthy discussion of how Harry should deal with his oath.

    Any rate, he intends to sleep in that form so if Voldemort tries to get into his dreams they will make little sense to him.

    Jim
     
  9. gadriam

    gadriam Second Year

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    It makes sense for Harry not to boink Hermione from a vengeance perspective, too. Right now, it's slowly killing her. She might believe that that's Harry's reason, seeing how cold he is to everybody involved. A line of "i tend to prefer pretty girls" would also be brilliant.

    What the hell am i saying? I ship H/Hr normally. Ah well, In fanfics, the people are just names. I've read likeable Ginnys. OOC like Pluto, but still.

    Poppy needs a spanking. Sure, anyone can panic, but then they get spanked. Isn't there a Healer's oath or something?

    If Harry has Basilisk venom in his Pussyteeth, could it be harvested to dip future horcruces in? Just a thought. I'm looking forward to the next 58 chapters. I see the structure of a great house being built, and i'm sure it's gonna burn prettily.

    g
     
  10. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

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    The oath is do no harm. It doesnt say anything about preventing harm.
     
  11. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    I've been hesitating to weigh in on the Hermione situation... mainly because my own reaction actually kinda pissed me off; that I was starting to feel sorry for her.

    Yeah yeah.. I know... airing that sort of opinion around the DLP forums is a sure fire way to draw fire, but fuck it.

    In Bungle, it was really easy to just take Harry's view and say Fuck her and fuck Ron and the rest of them for being knowingly complicate in a total brainwashing snowjob.

    Unfortunately with new info coming in, and with the evidence pretty clear that she was lied to also... I can realistically see that she too is a victim of Dumbledore's machinations.
    I think that the fact that she's being eaten up by the ward's is both a fine example of poetic justice and evidence that she was told half truths and outright lies of omission to get her to go along with the plan.

    Perhaps the HeadGirl position comes with a series of scholastic perks that Dumbledore told her would help her help Harry.

    I could honestly see him saying something like "Hermione, dear child, I hope that you'll accept the Head Girl position. With it comes many things, including a great deal of prestige and the responsibility to perform an independent research project. Wizards and witches from all over have pledged that in every year, they will help answer the research questions of head boys and girls from each of the three great magical schools. Just think of how you could help dear Harry."

    Add in that it gets him away from his "increasingly abusive and unstable" relatives (Insert sob story from Dumbledore telling her that he is growing increasingly concerned about the Dursley's growing animosity toward Harry) and a few other nudges and it's easy to see that she could be manipulated into all sorts of things with small steps.

    Road to hell paved with good intentions and all that.. and there ya go.

    Not saying she doesn't deserve to get screwed over for taking those steps... but I like the fact that you're making it a lot more murky than it was. That she wasn't just selling him out... but that she was misled by a master of manipulation.

    Good show.

    I like the sound of that.

    Me, I'm not on the "screw her for revenge" bandwagon. I think doing so would do a disservice to Harry and her character. I just don't see him as the sort of person that would use sex as a weapon to cause hurt.

    That works. It works really well as a matter of fact. Maybe toss in just one reference to having read some of the comics that Chico had.
    Just a single reference would really tie that in nicely. Dean and Seamus... nah... but Chico.. yeah. I think that'd be an excellent explanation.

    Jim, it's a good story and any criticism offered should always be of the constructive sort IMO.
    Heh... I've had my suspicions on when you were going to bring up the specifics of his oath.... I mean that whole thing about doing so to the best of his ability can be taken a whole LOT of different ways. A whole lot of very broadly interpreted ways. It gives Harry a lot of latitude to really embarass Dumbledore, and as a diplomat he'll have diplomatic immunity.

    Looking forward to the fireworks that I sense are building
     
  12. the-caitiff

    the-caitiff Death Eater

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    One of the things about the perspective ("you do this... you do that") of this story is that it makes it easy to become the main character. Because of that I'm firmly against the revenge sex idea. If it happens I can say for sure I'll hit that red X and never even look at the story again.

    While I am far from a saint, sex is one area of my personal "code of honor" that's downright medieval. In my mind if it isn't completely voluntary it's rape. If she's being coerced or blackmailed into it, same deal and my mind only has one punishment for rape. I hate it with a fiery passion and have to fight down vigilante instincts when I hear about it.

    I'm not saying it to try to influence Jbern at all, he's got to write the story how its supposed to go, I'm just saying that if that is the way it goes, I'm gone.
     
  13. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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  14. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    Well, he's gotten a up close and personal view of Harry in combat now. I'm pretty sure he saw that harry isn't just using stunners anymore and is spell chaining with some seriously nasty spells.

    I'm not sure if Dumbles has fully cottoned on that Harry is playing in the world of hit wizards now (Oh and before this gets misunderstood... Harry is still no where near the level of his teachers yet I'm sure. Our fine Korean hit wizard friend would still mop the floor with Harry) but I'm thinking that he's at least figured out that Harry is a LOT more dangerous than he was.

    Harry has an animal form of a panther that has basilisk venom in it's bite.
    So I'm gonna go with predator.

    I'm surprised noone else has really brought that up yet.

    He was smelling the venom because that's what's in his bites now.

    No wonder Fawkes was freaking out around him.
     
  15. Kyle_Dodge1

    Kyle_Dodge1 DA Member

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    I agree with the-caitiff. And Garret P.I., stop calling Dumbledore Dumbles. It isn't even an insulting nickname. It just makes you sound retarded. Think up a new one or call him Dumbledore.
     
  16. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    The way jbern has described the animagus makes me think that Harry is becoming a predator more and more as he accepts his form. When he first cast AK in Brazil he really accepted and he is becoming more and more a predator every day.
     
  17. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    [edit]
    Hey, KD...where the hell is your introduction post?
    Are you incapable of reading the forum rules or something?
    Go here
    **now back to your regularly scheduled response post**
    [/edit]

    *blink*
    No no no no no nooooo.. you did NOT just try and tell someone not to post because it's "bothering you" , here on the Dark Lord Potter Forums.

    HAH HA Ha Ha Ha HAHAHahahhhaaa!

    Hell... after that I may start referring to him as "Dumbles" continually...just because it seems to piss you off.

    I usually never mention when I'm neg repping someone.. but, dude, your post is made of Lulz.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2007
  18. Hadoren

    Hadoren High Inquisitor

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    I wouldn't want Harry to screw Hermione.

    She looks like an 11-year-old (or 14-year-old, not sure which), jeez. Disgusting.
     
  19. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    Maybe the story is gonna take a decidedly Pedo-bear twist and flavor, Belerdorhan.

    Harry did the "older woman" thing already.
     
  20. Void

    Void First Year

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    And this means Harry is blind and deaf as well? Or that Dudley couldn't have any comics? Yes, Harry stayed in the crawlspace under the stairs, yes harry was horribly abused, yes the Dursley's tried to stamp out anything that would lead to the m-word.

    Just because Harry didn't have any friends FOR LONG doesn't mean he didn't interact with other people. If other kids were talking about comics, or movies, or games why wouldn't Harry listen in on these conversations. The very fact that Dudley could harass and beat up people who tried to be Harry's friend means that there is every chance that Harry could have these conversations.

    To make Harry completely clueless about anything that other kids would have talked about around him for 5 or 6 years is just as unrealistic as making him knowledgeable in them, imo.

    Well, I can't argue about the too Americanized. I know that the comic companies put stuff out in England as well but I don't know which titles are the popular ones. After Hogwarts I'd agree that he wouldn't be too up on muggle culture but before Hogwarts I think there is every chance of him being exposed to the material.
     
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