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Abandoned Crouching Lion, Hidden Serpent by Lutris Argutiae - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Lutris, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    aye that he is.
     
  2. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

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    New update will be up within three, maybe four days, depending on my schedule.

    Have decided ship, although it will be minor. Screw all you fluff lovers out there! Inexperience= no fluffy moments, and I'm 14. So fuck you. (no offense intended to any parties. My sincere apologies if you are.)

    Will be Slyth!Girl.
     
  3. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    That's cool if the fluff is small. Hopefully he isnt just fucking some whore though.

    Cant wait! :p
     
  4. Aura

    Aura Seventh Year

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    I just read the story from the beginning and I must say: Great story!! Woohoo!! I wonder how Harry is going to grow up now, living with Barty Crouch Jr. and Sr. I can easily see him like Crouch Sr., with a cold and formal attitude towards everything. Looking forward to the next chapter!
     
  5. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

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    Right. I'm considering Harry in this fic to have a considerable Slytherin streak within him. He knows all the rules, and when to adhere to them, and he'll be cold and formal in public. But throw in Jr's interference with his developement, and the natural disposition of some Japanese kids... he'll be pretty... different, is the only word, a hybrid psyche of sorts, in private. So, naturally, with his natural obedience to his father, and his father's adversion to Dumbledore, he'll know to act prim and proper when Dumbles is around.

    And no, he's not going to be some fort of fucking badass fucking girls left and right. So no sex with bitches and whores, slags, hags, sluts, you name it. I mean, come on. His morals are against that kind of behavior anyway.

    So no Ginslut or Pansy action for all you naughty thinkers out there.

    Bad DLPers. BAAAAD DLPers.

    But no, Aura, he wont have that kind attitude towards everything, as opposed to when its necessary. He's a smart kid, and he's using the brains this time around.
     
  6. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    That's exactly as I imagined him. Hope you pull it through with the next chapters, they are the hardest ones (completely out of familiar canon surrounding)...
     
  7. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    They are also the most fun to write as you can do anything you want really... well not anything to out there... but ya know what I mean.
     
  8. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

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    I lied. It's updated now.

    Some of you might not like the format; rest assured, just read the AN at the end of the chapter, and you'll get the gist of it.

    And I just HAD to have a character for my sarcastic outlet, alright?

    And please, feel free to flame :p
     
  9. Mrriddler

    Mrriddler High Inquisitor

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    That was pretty good. That house is a fair choice, I think, if not better choice than the other houses actually depending on how you write Harry. But oi, what a little tart, that Daphne... :lol: Good job.
     
  10. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    GREAT!!!


    I don't know about how you showed the same event twice from both Harry and Dumbledore's perspective, but it was VERY good. :D :D :D


    I think you would have been just taking it from Dumbledore's perspective and show harry putting the Hat on, then take Harry's perspective.


    Anyway, I hope you update SOON! :D :D :D
     
  11. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Nice chapter.

    I liked your Harry, he's exactly as he should be. Not sure where are you going with that Japanese girl (will she be a character, like an exchange student and arrive to Hogwarts as a part of Triwizard Tournament or something?).

    Ravenclaw is a good choice, the most logical by far.

    However, I think you made a mistake with Dumbledore's motivation. Yes, he did left Harry with the Dursleys to give him a happy childhood out of the spotlight (or in your case, to impart him with discipline), but there was much more important reason that you forgot about - to create that blood protection that saved Harry in book 1. I think that was his main motivation and you kinda glossed over it.

    Oh, and what happened in the first 3 years? Sirius, the diary, the stone? Heh, maybe you should have inserted another chapter before this one, with overview of Hogwarts happenings and Harry's life before 4th year.

    But yeah, it's good this way too. Keep going.
     
  12. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Nice chapter.


    Are you going to ever update The Book, by the way?
     
  13. ShadowedDarkness

    ShadowedDarkness Second Year

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    Nice to see that this has no chance of being a rehash of the books, I have been following this and I have to congratulate you on a well written story, as well as avoiding the commonality of gryffindor or slytherin harry. Its also nice to see the motivations of several of the important characters.
     
  14. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    I like it.

    The first three years at Hogwarts can be seen a different way. Maybe one of the Ravenclaw's explain to him what happened... well, from what they know of what happened of course.

    Great chapter.
     
  15. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

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    Yes indedy good update, i take it that it was only 3 years he spent at Japans magical school? You said meditaion once a night so is he not skilled at Occlumency or are you follwing the organisation of the days events to store away theme? what of Leglimancy? oh and the Dark arts?
     
  16. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    He shouldnt be a master at the Mind Arts, if he even knows them at all. Maybe good at Occlum but not at Legili. It annoying when Harry just reads everyone like a book.
     
  17. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

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    He just clears his mind for focus and disclipline. You should try meditation before sleeping. maybe five minutes sitting on your bed just focusing on your breathing helps a lot. a lot alot.

    And he knows the basis for some mind arts; the way I think it, those, for mastery, require a completely mature mind, and I think this Harry has had a fairly normal life. Till now, at least.

    As for The Book, when I get a plot bunny for that, I'll write it. Time-travel fics generally make me think more in that mindset, but I've read all the good ones, and so my muse is naturally focusing on Crouching Lion.

    For dark arts, he'll know them, just not much. You honestly believe that jr. would teach a small kid, who could slipup at any time, dark arts? But, he knows a fair amount of dark arts; he's smart enough to get around the technicalities when using them. Laws and whatnot.

    And remember, Crouch knows that sirius is innocent, ans ergo harry does too. just not openly.
     
  18. Aura

    Aura Seventh Year

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    Oh YEAH!!! Take that you barmy old coot!

    I'm not too sure about how you wrote the sorting scene from both their perspective. It lost a little of the momentum when the hat shouted ravenclaw and then going back to before the lake in Harry's POV.

    I'm also curious as to what happened during the 1st-3rd year. It's gonna be interesting to see how you handle hogwarts' past 3 years w/o Harry there. I'm also excited to see the first confrontation between Harry and Dumbledore.

    Great work with the chapter.
     
  19. Lord Dragon

    Lord Dragon DA Member

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    it was a new line of thought thats for shure :evil:
     
  20. ShadowedDarkness

    ShadowedDarkness Second Year

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    nice to know where he stands with the meditation bit, probably would be helpful for future occulmency training. so basically he is at the point where he should be if given proper schooling, plus not having to deal with the negative effect of the dursley's.
     
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