1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by headbanger22, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2008
    Messages:
    546
    Location:
    Washington, USA
    Almost makes you wonder if Voldie didn't somehow perpetrate it himself, eh?
     
  2. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2009
    Messages:
    291
    There's a portion of the chapter from his point of view that makes it clear he didn't do it.

    Also, I don't think he would do something that could backfire like that. If he'd done it and it got out... Things would not be pretty. At all.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2009
  3. eXcalite

    eXcalite Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    272
    Location:
    Germany, Hamburg
    You know. We have the spoiler option for a reason...
     
  4. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2009
    Messages:
    291
    Sorry. I hadn't thought to do that. I've edited my posts.
     
  5. John Hopkins

    John Hopkins First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2009
    Messages:
    48
    Is anyone else a little bit annoyed just how...slow this story is? I read it up until about book 5, and i was quite enthralled with it, and then it just slooooowed down. And I don't know, maybe I just don't like reading a fic 650K words into that isin't a bit more action based. Maybe im wrong, and maybe hes made it a bit more exciting since i last read it (which was about the moody/snape/voldie encounter. Someone, please, tell me if im wrong so I have a reason to start reading this very active, and very well written work.
     
  6. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2006
    Messages:
    764
    Location:
    Germany
    So I finally read this, after stopping after a few chapters over a year ago.

    It is original and I'll likely continue reading it, but it does contain a lot of boring stretches.

    My biggest problem with the story is, that a lot of the background story of the situation in the world and the society doesn't make any sense if you really think about it.
    Also, the mixing of two religions just confuses me, if only paganism or Christianity were true in this story, I would be OK with it, but both at the same time? Opens a lot of plot holes.
    On the other hand, wizarding Britain seems too successful for a dictatorship that suffers under an embargo. We have heard multiple times about monopolies and special privileges and high taxes, etc. but it is still portrayed as much more powerful than France or Germany.
    If wizarding society couldn't be poor because of magic, then that's plausible, but most people we've seen don't live above the average 'muggle' standard of living.

    Also: Germany is just wtf.
    At first it was portrayed as a free country and a democracy, but now their economy is worse off than that of Britain, the school is more restrictive than the strict Hogwarts, minorities are worse off than in Britain and the evil minister is allowed to do horrible war crimes, even though most of the population is against him.
    For some reason the author wanted to portray Voldemort as the good side and made the 'free' country implausibly evil to do that.

    All of the attacks of Germany were really stupid. They don't make any sense in a war. Attacks on civilians and to a big part non-military targets as the first act of war? That means turning the whole world, as well as your own population against you, uniting the enemy and not even taking out his capability to strike back. Maybe Seibligg is so stupid and angry that he would do that, but aren't there any military advisors? He seems to be more like the typical HP-Voldemort than the one in this story.

    Britain seems too free to be a dictatorship and Germany too unfree to not be one.

    The werewolf society is interesting, but too extreme. If they were another race and lived like this in the forest, then OK. But most of them were normal people at one point and suddenly they're living in this kind of medieval society plus alphas+betas? WTF?



    But it's still acceptable if I ignore all these problems. I'd still give it 4/5. 3.5, but +0.5 for the dedication.
     
  7. Anarual

    Anarual Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2005
    Messages:
    237
    Germany is basically cannon UK here. The ministry is controlling the press, slandering magical creatures and everyone they don't like. As to the UK, it's not that free, there are many laws restricting a lot of stuff and most anti voldemort supporters are in jail or fled or disappeared off the face of the planet due to "the court". And Germany attacked strategical spots that had the Keystones to britains wards... pay attention to what you are reading. Also as to minorities having it better in britain. Voldemort is a pro pureblood tradition pro magical creatures rights advocate, his motto is there is only power and those to weak to seek it, at the same time he is a great administrator, he had all the muggleborns removed from their parents homes and had them growing up as wizards. Also the schools in britain are based on power levels, Hogwarts being the most prestigious one. I don't see any plotholes here, as to the economy... you live in Germany man... buy some foreign books about the 1930s by non german authors that don't loose everything they have when they say that hitler did something right....

    As to the Religion issue... I just think of a "Gods of America" style religious system where different gods excist based solely on believe and sometimes don't even aknowledge each other because they are simply unable to because of the believe they were created from.
     
  8. Red_Hourglass

    Red_Hourglass First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2008
    Messages:
    41
    Location:
    Virginia
    Holy smokes, an update, and assurances of regular updates now that real world issues will let up. I can not express in words that truly express my enjoyment of the world the author has created.
     
  9. cloud91

    cloud91 Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Messages:
    133
    Location:
    Central Michigan
    its been updated
     
  10. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,871
    Location:
    TN
  11. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,059
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    It has to be said, that was an awesome chapter. And I do love this story, definitely one of my top five at the moment.
     
  12. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    993
    Location:
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Ugh. At this point, if this were any other story, I'd ditch it. I'm at chapter 38, where Harry is becoming a Pagan. I honestly don't give a crap what religion the author is a part of, and I don't read fanfiction to get my religious needs satiated. The stressing on 'not Christian, Pagan!' is really annoying.

    Furthermore, Harry is my least favourite character of the story. Whenever he's within a five-foot radius of Voldemort, he begins to bungle up everything, and turns into a shy four year old. But when he's with his friends, he's a strong, smart, and crafty guy. I don't want to read a story where Voldemort makes Harry his chick, whether it's platonic or not.

    I'm really hoping someone can tell me it gets better from here. I like Snape, Bellatrix and Voldemort, as well as all of Harry's friends and enemies, but Harry himself is completely offputting.
     
  13. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    I liked the start a lot. Halfway it began to lose my attention a bit. Don't really like all the werewolf shit. It remains fairly interesting and last chapter was pretty cool.

    Not my favourite story but it's pretty good and update rate is amazing, although a bit less the last few months.

    Would like to see more Dumbledore.

    4/5
     
  14. Sooner90

    Sooner90 Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Messages:
    330
    Location:
    Oklahoma, USA
    Harry does start to assert himself later in the story. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

    Plus, the pagan thing is kinda central to the plot. He (and Voldemort) get their power from the Old Powers, at the cost of their soul. To me, it is one of the most interesting parts of the story. Think Dresdenverse, if it helps.
     
  15. turtle7

    turtle7 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2010
    Messages:
    65
    Huge Story is Huge.

    Great fic though, lots of Celtic stuff and culture. Maybe the author is related?

    Anyways, the best thing about this fic is the Harry and Voldemort mentor relationship though sometimes its a little ridiculous.
     
  16. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,059
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    Fifth year now finished, for anyone who's interested. The last two chapters felt a little disjointed, because they consisted of a lot of brief scenes flitting between pretty much the entire cast. And since they aren't exactly regular characters, it can be a little confusing when she calls Sirius and Remus by their clan names. Still going well though.
     
  17. gbbz

    gbbz Professor

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    413
    2 Chapters of Sixth Year posted.

    PotDK captured my attention from the beginning. A well thought out AU with an interesting Voldemort. It has some weak points (i.e. I wasn't that fond of Sirius and Remus until the crisis with Greyback, and still they are some of the weakest portrayals) but it's unbelievably captivating.
    Harry is slowly fleshing out and the rest of the crew is kept strictly episodic (apart from Ron, he's nice).
    Although I believe the second half of book V just doesn't measure up to the rest. Well six has already begun let's see what's going to happen.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
  18. Spunika

    Spunika First Year

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2009
    Messages:
    24
    Location:
    Oz
    Chapter 3 of book VI is up...

    Epic!!!
     
  19. Eidolonic

    Eidolonic Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    1,632
    Holy shit. I thought I'd read just about everything in the fandom of any length, then I saw this 700k+ word...thing. It worth reading, I assume? Not sure if I want to spend a day or two reading all of it or not.
     
  20. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    It's worth a start in the least.

    There are some pretty cool ideas in it but when I look at an update now I'm mostly confused and I don't want to go back and read all the latest chapters.

    This is not worthy of being among the very best of fanfiction, for several reasons, but it's good and imo worthy of the library.
     
Loading...