She probably wouldn't even be married to Vernon, a stride-for-the-mundane kind of person.

Also, @Cinduri
Unfortunately we weren't able to assess the effects of Elvish apparation/ side-along apparation on the elf, since Dobby was killed shortly after. I'd like to think of it as possible (since it did happen in canon) but very draining on the elf.

The reason I brought this up is because of the multiple instances in many fanfics where Dobby or Fawkes become the anti-apparation-enchantment-bypassing teleportation service, especially Fawkes, after that one instance in OotP where he helped Dumbledore escape Hogwarts.

This annoys me.

Like in the case of Dobby in DH, we never saw the aftereffects, and we know for a fact that Fawkes took Harry, Ron, Ginny and Lockhart up from the CoS by flying up; so obviously there are limits, either to what enchantments Fawkes' style of teleportation can bypass, or to its 'carriage capacity'.

And frankly, Fawkes deserves better than being relegated to that.

 

Tbh, Petunia's jealousy of Lily and hatred of magic shaped her to a great extent, indeed it led to her love of all things 'normal'. Without that, I don't even see her and Vernon getting married in the first place. Unless you're planning a story where Petunia is redeemed or something?

 

...and then Harry's personality is reshaped because of his adopted father's influence. He's now snarky, bookish, self-centered...

Oh.

Oh gods.

 

I have to be honest, the fanon Vernon (racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, magic-hater, so on and so on) is one I can see being canon. We don't see his reactions to any non-white-British people, nor any not-cis-straight people, but the as Mordecai said, Vernon just hates things that aren't normal.

 

I don't think they would even have married if she was the sort of person who ok believing that people were able to do magic.

 

You could hate magic and still not treat a child badly. I could just as well imagine them not wanting Harry to become a wizard without confining him to the cupboard under the stairs and only giving him old cast-offs to wear.
They wouldn't have to be perfect parents if they didn't mistreat Harry - they certainly aren't for Dudley.
It would even create a nice family conflict, because all those "[...]after all we've done for you[...]" would actually not sound completely ridiculous.

 

Agreed.

There was that inappropriate joke about the Japanese golfer he was going to tell... He also apparently enjoyed a similar joke about an American plumber.

This could be a clue as to how he feels about other races and/or foreigners in general.

 

I read one fic a long time ago on ficwad(no i don't remember the title, and no I'm not looking), where after harry is dropped off a the dursley's they treat him like in canon *cough* cupboard *cough* until one night when the CEO of grunnings is over for dinner they find out that Vernon's nephew is magical. I think dudley had thrown paint on harry, and was laughing about it. In his embarrassment he accidentally turned dudley's clothes pink.

The CEO sees all of this and confess' to having a magical granddaughter, and declares what just happened some of the funniest accidental magic he has ever seen. The dursley's pull a 180 and start to regal him with all the tales of harry's magic. At the end of the night the CEO gives Vernon a substantial raise, invites him to be a golfing buddy, and his wife says she sould enjoy coming over for tea everyonce in a while to talk to petunia and the kids.

Stunned that 'the freak' actually helped them move up in society, the dursley's become harry's best friends and treat him like another son.




Anyway, the point is, I think Vernon would be okay with magic, as long as he could use it to further advance his goals in life.

 

Whilst I can see that as a valid characterisation, I don't think it sticks with canon. The canon Dursley hates everything that doesn't fit with his perfectly ordered view of the world, this includes people who say they can do magic, people with the wrong political views and people with funny accents.

 

I think if Vernon's boss had a magical granddaughter, Vernon would perform a sudden about-face, if only on the surface.

 

I don't see it that way, I think its too ingrained an attitude. He'd more likely resign and find a new position elsewhere. He doesn't have the subtlety to do anything like hiding his feelings on a subject he has deep hatred of.

 

The potential for conquest alone is astounding.

He can do magic, what good is a giant orbital doom station when Harry could teleport on board, go invisible mind control the captain and smash the thing into the planet.

None...Actually why is there no Harry conquers the universe fics, I mean they would more than likely be appalling but most fics that are fan wank are. I would have thought that someone would have come up with something like this.

Maybe they were too busy writing slash.

OT: The way the Dursleys were portrayed in canon, Yes they weren't the best carers for Harry, but they were no where near the pedophilia obsessed, rapist, abusive monsters that they appear to be in fanon.

Hell my parents were worse, I skipped a day at school my dad made me join a boxing club he coached at for the express purpose of legally beating the shit out of me.

---------- Post automerged at 05:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:21 PM ----------

I never got seating plans. The logic doesn't make sense.

' I want you to do your work and not talk...So go sit with the people I know full well you don't get along with.'
:facepalm...Just no.

---------- Post automerged at 05:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:28 PM ----------

The Giant wagging schlong of Sauron.

...Now that would have made the armies of men flee.

---------- Post automerged at 05:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:36 PM ----------

....With control over a nation.

A few thousand clones and one Jedi wiped out an entire temple of Jedi.

If Sauron has a nation of orcs, Saruman, the Naz'gul and almost every evil under the sun it doesn't matter if Frodo is a Jedi because if he had reached the level of power where all of that cannot stop him then he is basically god at that point.

I get what your saying, but this is me being a sarcastic douche because it's late, I accept the scathing logical reply without complaint.

 

There are actually quite a few where Harry goes and whoops ass in the Stargate universe.

A boxing class is not quite the same as being kept in a cupboard for the first 11 years of your life. Nor is it on the same level as being locked in a room for days on end, being fed through a catflap etc...

Also, what is it with you and taking really old quotes?

 

It is my weakness, my metaphorical kryptonite if you will.

And as for the boxing class...You got me there but it still hurt.

And what ones in the Stargate Universe, I can never find any, all I find is slash or Harry is (insert your favorite character here)

But being kept in a cupboard is low level abuse -that sounds horrific I know but work with me here - compared to what they could have done it really isn't that bad.

They gave him toys ( the crappy soldiers) although they could have been made from lead in which case it throws the entire thing into a new light.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5931066/1/

Basically wizards are descended from ancients and Harry rebuilds the Alteran society. Surprisingly not awful, especially the early parts.

 

Oh, that's quite cool. thanks.

 

While I’m not really a proponent of whining on about things I hate, I’ll comment on my personal Pet Peeve, all the while pretending I’m awesome enough that people will care in the smallest way…

Yeah well I try to keep this stuff to myself but the only thing which pisses me off more than Ginny shippers is Harmonians!

Not because I dislike Harry/Hermione, because I do…

No, the reason Harmonians fill me with an all encompassing rage is because Hermione always becomes this emasculating harridan, show stealing, bitch with great publicity

The worst thing Whore shippers tend to do is obsess over vomit educing Soul Bond relationships, meaning I can safely ignore them.

Harmonians need to scream loudly before they die for no other reason than they destroy one of the better HP characters…

Which is Hermione.

IMO [In My Opinion]

 

I hate Hufflepuff Harry.

Mostly because it's very very rarely done well. It's usually done so Harry can just go bang Susan/Hannah/Sally-Anne/Mary Sue.

Fuck Hufflepuff Harry.

 

Maybe not divorce, because of good old Dudders, but I'd imagine there would be some animosity there. Vernon just isn't the type of guy to accept something as game changing as magic into his life without a fight.

 

This has nothing to do with Hufflepuff. Gryffindor Harry is almost always done badly and only so he can bang Hermione, Ginny, Parvati, Lavender, Katie, Angelina, Alicia, Romilda, Mary Sue.