...

have you even been reading? Like literally, it's like you don't read and you are TRYING to have Ruby just fucking leave you behind. Go read my plan again.

 

We have guard armor, we can update your plan.

 

At work right now. Not much I can do. Will post a few things as I can.

Grumblejack stared at your group, a mildly befuddled look crossing his large, ogre face.

"You hate small ones too? But... you ARE small ones!"

Grumblejack sounds like a confused child, even as he casually shifts his stance and crushes one of the unconscious guards' skull with his heel.

 

"If we leave my cuffs unlocked, then I can go back in them and you can escort me out. I doubt they have any halfling sized clothes anyway."

With another wave of his hand Marcinus begins the process of magically cleaning everyone present.

"That reminds me. We should probably not look and smell so dirty if we're going to try and just walk out of here."

 

"Good call. Anyone who is interested in walking out, grab some guard armor and come here. I'll work on making your disguises passable."

 

I help Zadok search through the Guard's belongings.

Afterwords I head over to Ruby to get myself Guardified.

 

"None of the armors will fit me. I doubt there are even Gnome guards. Like Marcinus, if my shackles are unlocked, but left on, I can pretend to be a prisoner."

 

Marcinus nods to Dominic and heads over to where Ruby is setting up shop.

"We best be quick about this too. I don't like being in here. also, throw the bodies in the cells. Somewhere out of sight."

 

"By the way, Dominic, can I get some red, blue, and yellow powder?"

 

"Very well, clearly my gods desires us to survive, and this will help you."

I hand him some spell components.

 

With my shackles unlocked, I help the others out, and gather the unclaimed items from the trove, then search the surroundings for the materials to create a forgery for the halfling and gnome to be moved.

Ves: Will Disguise Self last long enough for me to make my way through the prison, and if not is there a convenient refresher point for me to do so, so as to not be seen? Or can you tell me that?

 

Lexgud looks around, trying to figure out where to store everything he is going to loot from the bodies. He collects everything up in a pile, methodically stripping each and every guard down to the skin and placing it all in a pile.

"We need to look uniform, those of us in uniform. Everything else, i'll carry until a better time to divvy it up for sale." Lexgud said, his eye turning appraisingly towards the elite guard, then to the rope. "I'll bring the woman also, we can use her for the cover story."

Lexgud takes the rope in his hand and ties up the elite guard, hefting her onto his shoulder.

What check do I make for the rope job?

 

And is there anyway I can make an assist roll or something for him?

 

"You want to bring.... the woman I'm impersonating...."

 

"There will be a time to take slaves, later Hobgoblin. Right now our focus is getting out of here.

 

"The witch tried to cast a spell on us, we're taking her for interrogation. We need to find out how she turned into you so that none of the other prisoners can do it and trick us into letting them out." Lexgud said with a grin. "You don't worry your little head, if it looks like she'll escape i'll be sure to kill the wench, but she could be useful. And, more importantly, she could wake up from your spell and alert the guards without us knowing. This way, we either get out and have her to interrogate, or know when the jig is up and can kill her quickly."

Lexgud shrugs before turning back to his work.

"I was raised here to join their military structure. That's just how things work."

Can we get an inventory of what was on the guards? Order of the Cockatrice nonsense has to be resolved for me.

 

Ruby

Spoiler

Cast Message (in Common)
"Sorry, I understand that I have worked contrary to your plan, but I need the cuffs off to disguise myself as a guard with magic properly, as they hamper my casting, and we needed at least two guards, perhaps more, to escort multiple prisoners. If only you were dressed as a guard, then the plan would have quickly fallen apart.

With that in mind, I have some ideas and requests that I would like you to consider and verbalize, as the ogre's presence essentially mutes me. First, I think that only you, I, and the human, and perhaps the half orc, should dress as guards. The rest should pose as prisoners. That splits the garrison evenly here even, hopefully keeping the upper echelon of the prison from sending reinforcements to the guards here and catching us. That also handles the poor armor fits. Additionally, see if you can talk Grumblejack. Convince him to stay here; tell him that these little ones will send him more guards to smash soon. He is simple; he'll never realize we're leaving him behind as a vanguard. If I can create paperwork requesting a move, I will, That's my new task, least. If you have any questions or alterations, just speak them aloud, and I will reply like this."

 

The fuck guys? I go away for one shift, and shit starts going down. FFS, does anyone need to reread the PG-13 villany section of the guide? Because if this shit ain't dropped immediately, I shut it down.

God. This is why we can't have nice things.

 

To Ves, assuming that was aimed at me:

Spoiler

That's fair. I was probably overly conciliatory; Hadzan's motivation is to get the fuck out of prison. Honestly, if these were NPCs, I'd forge some papers requesting something for the garrison at the cells to act as a hallpass of sorts, use disguise self, and leave them. I'm playing nice for the purposes of the campaign. If I have to stay with them, I want them to neglect me as a threat. I'm a from the shadows, greed motivated sort, so I'm currently RPing integrating myself with them and planning to steal their stuff later

 

I don't know what's going on.