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Complete Mother of Learning by nobody103 - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Betosa, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. McBrill

    McBrill Squib

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    I don't think their reunion is going to happen any time soon, seems like this current story arc is unlikely to involve zach. After the shifter stuff hopefully we will find out more about zach.
     
  2. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I'm just ready for the plot to progress some more. The way these chapters update they almost feel like snippets anymore. I read somewhere that he has a donation account and that's inspiring him to write more but I have a feeling this will turn into fan service and a story that never ends because he has so many plot lines he can't wrap everything up. I mean look it's been 16 chapter since Zach. I would have forgotten if it had been anyone else in the story.


    Zorian is also selfish as shit. He's using all these people's time and efforts in training him but does nothing really to give anything back. Looping has spoiled him.

    What would be interesting is an after fic, where Zorian learns to live outside the time loop. He goes suiciding into dangerous things thinking he will just reset. That'd be funny.
     
  3. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Well, to be fair only thing that he can give right now in return is making sure that they all survive the final loop.

    It would be, but Zorian for most part is aware that it could happen which is a reason why he doesn't go really crazy in any of his loops. He doesn't want to get used to lack of consequences. I won't be surprised if Zach will have this problem though. A side story, after the rest is done, about it and his general thoughts about the loop situation, would be nice.
     
  4. McBrill

    McBrill Squib

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    Dunno if I'd call zorian selfish, but I think it's likely that a future plot point could be about how this groundhog day scenario is messing with his head and how he acts. Could be very interesting actually.
     
  5. Ozkarus

    Ozkarus Muggle

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    One of the best stories i have ever read. In regards to personality, i find hilarious that Zorian's family consider him a feminine man when he has killed people in some of the restarts.
     
  6. Agayek

    Agayek Dimensional Trunk DLP Supporter

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    The ability and willingness to kill is not really a particularly masculine trait, despite appearances.
     
  7. Imraefi

    Imraefi Third Year

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    Updated!

    I'm not sure if it's just the update rate of the author, but the pacing of Zorian's development is done quite well. I think it's also really clever to have others begin to notice his abilities as a whole. For the most part, his strengths have also been placed in contrast to his weaknesses (like the hand-to-hand fighting portion of this chapter) or are overshadowed by someone considerably more talented than he is (the training sessions with Xvim). Taiven's exasperation accurately places Zorian's abilities with respect to his peers and is a welcome change from the constant grind that we as readers see Zorian go through.
     
  8. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    Secret, extremely well defended time magic research facility hidden deep in the dungeons of Cyoria?

    Anyone remember the Bakora gate so deep in the Dungeon of Cyoria that it would be really dangerous to study?
     
  9. bastur2

    bastur2 DA Member

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    And next time he will make use of the aranea treasure...

    Waiting for what may be in there makes me feel like in the earlier ages of the potter fandon, and the now infamous diagon alley shopping spree
     
  10. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    Given the extent of the Aranean colony, and how inaccessible to humans parts of it are, I'm surprised Zorian hasn't run into any stragglers.

    I've had this idea in my head that Novelty probably wasn't around when Red Robes exterminated the colony. She had been hanging around with the Aope family towards the end of that loop.

    Of course, RR could have soulkilled her at the start of the next loop. But there's got to be SOME araneans that were absent at that battle at the end of that particular loop, and also absent from the same areas of the colony at the start of the loops.
     
  11. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    Well, I am hoping new people will be brought into the loop, literally and figuratively speaking.

    As to the arcana's, think rather than have that guy find and kill every single one, it's more like a bloodline killing spell. Would explain how it killed everyone in the web and how no one could run away, and why they are all dead.
     
  12. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    Nah, it showed him hunting them down one by one.
    Also, some of the aranean males survived- all ones that he had missed in his first slaughter.
     
  13. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    This.

    Really liked the reminder that while he still has ways to go, he has definitely been making a lot of progress.
     
  14. DooomCookie

    DooomCookie First Year

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    Man this was an excellent chapter. Iron beaks, government time facilities, red robe (and Zach), Raynie, golems, combat tutoring, aranea, Taiven. Very satisfying.

    I particularly enjoy his interactions with his classmates. They're all really likeable and provide a baseline to compare to Zorian's advancement. I think we might see a bit more of Naim in particular: we haven't seen Nirthak (the non-magical combat instructor, who blacklisted Zorian for reasons unknown) who was mentioned in the original timeline. Maybe Naim or Taiven will get Zorian to join them in that class?

    Really excited to see Zach's coming back. It's great watching Zorian and Zach interact and talk about time travel.
     
  15. CleanRag

    CleanRag Professor

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    This is kinda why I was down on this chapter, there was way too much going on for it to be good. 18 different things happening here and most of the chapter was exposition. The two things I liked were the new combat group and Taiven's scene at the end. But even they felt rushed to me.
     
  16. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    For me the new combat group fell slightly flat. I guess because Zorian went into that with his only goal being 'get to know my classmates better.'

    In the past, when he's tried to get to know his classmates (or just other people) better, he also wanted to get something out of it. Mind magic concepts from Tinami, shifter information from Raynie, library skills from Ibery, loads of things from Kael, etc.

    Zorian's objective being purely social rings untrue to his character. I know he's grown a lot, and he's not the antisocial asshole that he started out as, and that getting to know his classmates is a laudable goal.

    But he has shit tons of other stuff, really important stuff, going on.

    I guess I'd have liked it better if Zorian had said... "I want to get to know my classmates better, and I'm severely lacking in physical skills, so maybe I should get to know those two guys who are good at that. I wanted to get to know them anyway, here's a good reason."

    It's more selfish, sure. But it also fits better.
     
  17. One

    One Second Year

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    Well technically, that's not necessarily true:

    Estin: knows a lot about Golems from his family and is willing to help Zorian with his Golem-building plans (which will probably become very useful later on, since Golems make excellent meat shields and can be used to see if there are traps ahead; also, combat practice for when he doesn't want to stick out)

    Naim: Zorian seriously needs to learn non-magical combat (it threw red-robe off once, and if you run out of mana, it's something to fall back on)

    Raynie: help from her family with the invasion, maybe.

    Briam: what would happen if Zorian soul-bonded himself a familiar, would it go back in time with him, build the bond through the loups and become a major asset? Then again, tricky, since it might affect the soul marker

    Kopriva: Could help Zorian with his new fighting style using alchemical reagents.

    P.S.: Seriously, when are we going to meet the soul-bonded twins already? They've been mentioned several times throughout the story, yet we've never met them. I feel like they are also going to be of help to Zorian in some way.

    Also, I'm starting to like Taiven more after this outburst. She feels like she has more depth to her now.
     
  18. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    One - I'm not sure I follow your argument.

    You seem to be arguing that there are loads of things that Zorian can learn from his classmates. I agree completely, and even mentioned that in my post that you quoted.

    My point was that it felt wrong for Zorian to approach them purely with the intent of getting to know them better.

    To me it would fit his character better if he approached Estin and Naim with the intent of learning about golems and/or physical combat, with getting to know them socially being a nice bonus. This is how he approached his classmates in other restarts, at least from what I recall.

    In this chapter he approached Estin and Naim with what appeared to be purely a social motive. He wanted to get to know them better. That he might be able to toss around ideas for golems, or learn physical combat, is purely a bonus.

    So even if the results are the same, his priorities feel reversed to what I'd expect from Zorian.

    Make sense now?
     
  19. TMNTurtwig

    TMNTurtwig Professor

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    I think him approaching his classmates purely socially is fine, because he's purposefully trying to change that aspect of himself.
     
  20. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    True, and that's a good point. It has been mentioned that he wants to get to know them better and feels he should.

    But I still feel that the author could have done a better job of having it happen. If not by having Zorian get to know them as a side effect, then adding another sentence or two to deal with the larger situation.

    Something along the lines of...

    Zorian hesitated before approaching Estin and Niam. He did want to get to know them better, but there were already so many important things on his plate. The invasion. The araneaen treasury. Stalking the cult of the dragon below in search of solid information.

    He didn't have time.

    And yet, he had promised himself, hadn't he? He could make the time, if he really wanted to. What did it say about his convictions if he didn't?

    He walked over.​

    So I guess if Zorian was going to approach them for purely social purposes, I wanted the author to acknowledge some of the issues I see with that. Moreso than just having foreshadowed that it was something he wanted to do, because Zorian usually tends to act in line with what needs to be done.