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Complete Mother of Learning by nobody103 - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Betosa, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. maple0809

    maple0809 Muggle

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    It was mentioned on several occasions. At one point, Zorian speculates that Zachs family may have some sort of hereditary advantage that ignores this limitation. However, given the rest of the story and just how super-powered this natural inclination would be - I find this unlikely and was likely just a throwaway to keep the reader guessing.
     
  2. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    @Cheddar, Aekiel, etc.

    It appears I was wrong. My apologies.

    EDIT: I was referring to the soul marker, in case no one got it.
     
  3. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

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  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    This chapter felt like it contained a lot more summary/telling than normal for this story.

    The only time where it felt like we were doing things with Zorian was when he invaded the mansion. That part was fun, where he tested the defenses and talked to Sudomir, etc.

    The rest of the chapter was interesting, but it felt too much like summary. We didn't see Zorian interact with the Luminous Advocates at all, for example. We're told about it, and it was interesting, but that's not the same.
     
  5. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    One part of me is actually happy it was done like that. It was a way of rushing through everything and getting it out of the way quickly. The pace seems to have started moving up a bit, don't want to see it take a step back. Given the number of events described, it'd have been a few chapters worth of stuff we'd have to read.
     
  6. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

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    I'm calling it- Sudomir is Red Robes.
     
  7. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    True. It's not that I feel things should have been drawn out into more chapters. Just that it felt like lazy writing when we know the author can do better. Shouldn't have taken that many words to provide two or three lines of Luminous Advocate dialogue and a description of something he physically did while there (even if it was just sleep or complain about a headache).

    Challenge accepted! I don't think he is.
     
  8. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Nothing about him, especially his behaviour in both meetings with Zorian, suggests to me that he's Red Robe.

    Anyway, I'm fine with more 'tell' than 'show' as long as it speeds things that wouldn't be that interesting to read anyway. We had plenty of interactions with aranean and, at least for now, it would be just more of the same.
     
  9. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Update!

    I'm getting a Kingdoms of Amalur feel from the thing in the mansion now. Much bigger than I anticipated.

    And the thing with Xvim ended up being that simple and realistic and kinda amusing in the end.

    >_> I honestly mildly worry that Zorian ends up having to become too much of a "hero", saving the people here and there from this and that, because he's in that unique situation. I like Zorian and all, but I can't help but to think that the time loop would be more interesting with a more selfish or villainous character. But that's just my personal bias and preferences. Still feels like Zorian has a constantly increasing checklist of people to save and catastrophes to prevent.
     
  10. Heleor

    Heleor EsperJones DLP Supporter

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    Xvim continues being amusing. This is going to be a fun restart.
     
  11. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Fuck yeah, Zvim. I'd considered that to be his reasoning before, but given the time loop I wasn't sure we'd ever see it play out. I hope we get more Zvim in the future!
     
  12. Invictus

    Invictus Master of Death

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    You can't get much more selfish than first chapters Zoran, unless you want someone completely unlikeable. This was the best chapter in a long time, really set up interesting things in motion and it seems we are finally getting more meaningful Xvim interactions.
     
  13. theronin

    theronin Order Member

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    rofl that ending... The next few sections are going to be fantastic.
     
  14. DvorakQ

    DvorakQ Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I know some folks were complaining about the pace being too slow, but dayum we've got a shit ton of threads coming together fast now.
     
  15. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    It was a little off-putting to me that Zorian seems to be letting so many people in on the time loop. Granted, he felt forced into telling Xvim, but it'll become harder and harder for this whole loop thing to be a secret if more and more people know. And judging by Zach's behaviour, he's probably let the information slip to some people as well, whether intentionally or accidentally. I'm...not exactly worried about the loop secret getting out, but it'll certainly change the whole story.

    But the next few chapters with Xvim will certainly be interesting. And I'd be willing to bet that he could be a very valuable teacher to Zorian.

    Also, I think this most recent chapter dispelled any ideas of Sudomir being Red Robe.
     
  16. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

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    While Zorian is making people aware of the time loop, he's not really letting them 'in' on it. Kael is the only character that he has let in on the loop, via the repeated informing and delivery of alchemical notebooks.

    It doesn't really count as 'letting them in on the loop' unless he does something very similar, because its not like anyones awareness of the loop is maintained.

    I really liked how when Tavien confronted Zorian and learnt of the loop, and then asked to be let in similar to Kael, Zorian more or less acquiesced to her face, but then never followed through on it.

    It shows that Zorian is still rather self-serving in terms of 1) His own self improvement and 2) Loop end goals

    I think that its more than likely that the benefits that including Xvim could provide (advanced mentoring, aid/idea generation/additional problemsolving) will outweigh the cost. However; a recurring theme of the story is that Zorian hops around incredibly frequently. This could've happened like 30 chapters ago with Ilsa.

    I'd guess that Xvim will be included, but not as a permanent fixture. Zorian may inform him in the next loop (given that Zorian is able to see benefit from a friendlier Xvim in this current loop), or shelve Xvim while he deals with the memory package, and then make Xvim and occasional resource, similar to what Alaric was.
     
  17. Miner

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    Well, Kael hasn't always been let in either. Zorian's kinda just picking the people that will help him with his particular goal for that restart. So in that, we are in agreement that Zorian is still self-serving.

    However, I believe Zorian was the one who offered to give something back per se to Taiven for all the help she was providing Zorian with combat magic. I could be wrong here.

    The only way for Zorian to prevent Xvim from being included is by either not going to Cyoria, or figuring out how to hide Xvim's teachings in his shaping exercises, which I think would be rather difficult to do, since Zorian evidently has developed a habit of doing shaping exercises in a certain way, and it's really hard to break a habit. I dunno how feasible it'd be to prevent Xvim from being included otherwise.
     
  18. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    He could not go to his mentoring sessions at all. IIRC Xvim is unpopular enough that it's even somewhat expected. He could try to 'throw' his results but I expect that would be obvious to Xvim.

    But it's like not like from now on whenever Zorian goes to Cyoria, Xvim has to be included. Or at least I don't think so. Wasn't there a loop where he impressed Ilsa when she came to his house so much that he had new options anyway?
     
    yak
  19. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    Hilarious ending. Xvim better not become a too nice teacher though because being almost unreasonably demanding is his thing.

    Additionally, a mind controlled army of golems plus a magical terminator as a body double? It's a quite upgrade that allows Zorian to be literally a one man army.
     
  20. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    I dunno, that just feels almost like cutting class in a way, and I don't know if Xvim would be okay with Zorian just cutting class. Although I do see your point.

    I do remember something about him impressing Ilsa like you said, but I think that he still had to do mentoring under Xvim, but Ilsa offered to personally teach him her subject because he was so talented. I dunno, maybe you're right. But I'm just curious as to how more people knowing about the loop will affect the story as a whole.