1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP 0800-Rent-A-[Redacted] by brainthief - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Dark Minion, May 31, 2015.

  1. ademolix

    ademolix Squib

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Enjoyable piece of writing. The angst in the fiction was well written, allows the reader to really relate with the characters. The portrayal of Dobby in the later chapters was superbly done. Really shows the devotion from the house elf in which we rarely see in other fanfictions.
     
  2. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    1918
    The sappy alternate dimension family stuff is annoying as shit.

    ---------- Post automerged at 10:59 ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 ----------

    The author's interpretation of metamorphs is retarded. "I can't take this form any more because it will be scared" as if she has set forms. Everything Tonks does has been shown as a sliding scale.
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    If anyone wondered if the fic could be saved after last chapter's fiasco, the answer is no. This chapter was terrible. Perhaps less so than the last one, but still terrible in ways hard to accurately describe.
     
  4. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    352
    Hm. I didn't think it to be incredibly bad to be honest. Yes, it is an alternate dimension but I think I would be interested in what my (grand)son was like, too. And that it moves Harry seems realistic.
    Apart from that: Finally someone was not an asshole in this story. That's a positive, albeit quite a sad one.
    And I liked the revelation at the end.
    So, overall not that bad in my opinion, although the ritual was carried out awfully.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2015
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    I guess you missed the part where people (Harry's friends, in fact) again decide to do something to him without his consent. Hell, directly against it, since they knew he'd not agree to it if they'd asked. That shows that for all their talk, the Tonks still don't respect Harry or his opinion on what he wants to do.

    It normally wouldn't be an issue, but Harry already has trust issues. Basically kidnapping Harry and forcing him to go along with their idea should be the furthest from their minds. The fact that Harry just sorta takes it without saying anything or feeling betrayed speak more to what the author is trying and failing quite miserably to do. It's suddenly fine for people to kidnap Harry and force him through magical rituals as long as it actually works? 'Don't fuck up and we're cool, you guys, I don't value my opinion on what happens to my body either and will not be mad at you for the same'.

    I just ... eh. As I said, the sheer retardation that went on the chapter is too much to accurately portray with words.
     
  6. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    352
    No I didn't miss it.

    That was why I said the ritual was carried out awfully.
    But the author has made it a habit to use any possibility to wrong Harry and make it seem "not as bad" afterwards.
    Sadly it just seems to be something any reader of this consistently has to deal with. For some it might be a dealbreaker, I try to ignore it (although it is incredibly annoying) and enjoy the parts I think to be interesting.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2015
  7. Churchey

    Churchey Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,770
    Location:
    Texas
    I didn't mind this fic so much.
    But ch20 has Harry giving a demonstration to the great hall. That was really bad.
     
  8. Rayndeon

    Rayndeon Professor

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2008
    Messages:
    497
    I think the issue Republic has been getting at and what is beginning to irritate me as well is that Harry has been systematically stripped off of his agency and had it practically spat on by every party thus far. He's been shafted by Dumbledore and the Order, Ollivander hates his guts and he's manipulated by Dobby of all people, his seeming girlfriend turns out to be an Order spy, etc.

    I get the idea that the hero has to go down before he can climb up, but we haven't really seen any indication of Harry ever actually getting a chance to get things going on his own terms through his own power. Even when he gave Bones the info on the Death Eaters, that meeting went off not as well as he had hoped and on top of that, he was put on the DoM's notice.

    And now, in order to do something nice for Harry, he has to be practically stunned into unconsciousness. The consistent message we're receiving here is that the protagonist himself is not worthy to make his own decisions and is not deserving enough to have a say in what happens to him or what's done to him -- even by the ones he trusts in this new dimension. He can't even have something go right for him that doesn't involve his agency being trampled on in some way.

    There's only so long one can watch Harry play the proverbial Butt Monkey before it comes far too tiresome.
     
  9. Sirius_Sanchez

    Sirius_Sanchez Squib

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2015
    Messages:
    18
    High Score:
    0
    If this is supposed to be a Tonks/Harry story, I'm not sure how we get past the last bit of betrayal. Sure, the ritual was to help, but to go ahead and make the choice for Harry?! How does he ever trust anybody beside his fem counterpart.?
     
  10. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,014
    Location:
    Australia
    Sigh. I forced myself to read the latest chapter. I wish I hadn't.

    That's some retarded logic.
     
  11. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    0
    I'm probably being an idiot but why is the thread title 0800-Rent-A-[Redacted] instead of 0800-Rent-A-[Redacted]?
     
  12. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,014
    Location:
    Australia
    That's because it's actually [redacted] but whenever you type [redacted] it gets redacted.
     
  13. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    0
    Yep, knew I was being an idiot. Probably should have read my own post after posting:facepalm. Why is that anyway?
     
  14. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,014
    Location:
    Australia
    Alright, so basically there is this term called 'an [redacted]', basically a short form of telling someone to go kill themselves. We had an issue with people telling people to be 'an [redacted]' so we censored the word to stop it happening.

    This is an unfortunate side effect.
     
  15. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    1918
    Oh, that makes a lot more sense now.

    When did DLP have a problem with telling people to an [redacted]?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2015
  16. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,014
    Location:
    Australia
    Oh you know, in our dark sordid past.
     
  17. Shizeon

    Shizeon Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    5
    I just noticed that the Author apparently thinks that he deserves being "supported" in form of money for his writing. He celebrated christmas by creating a patreon account for himself. At least that is what he said in the last chapter in his AN.

    Honestly, I dont like anyone who trys to make money by writing fanfiction no matter how small the amount he is getting is. If they want money for whatever they write they should write something original...
     
  18. Russano

    Russano Disappeared

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    602
    Is that illegal or just in bad taste?
     
  19. Pajasaurus

    Pajasaurus Muggle

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    High Score:
    0
    Its not illegal.

    EDIT by Minion:
    And discussing that specific topic ends here.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2016
  20. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    8,014
    Location:
    Australia
    I didn't think he could be more of a tool.