Updated.

I really liked the scene with Marchbanks in the ministry. The author did it again, (s)he managed to breathe just a bit of life into a part of this world that's been almost completely neglected in canon and fanfiction. Marchbanks is the stereotypical old woman and a stickler for rules and laws. That's what she's always been. This author managed to make me like her with a relatively short scene. That's one of the reasons why I like and follow this story.

The rest of the chapter was less noteworthy, sadly. The ritual itself was reasonably fleshed out without overdoing it. It was a mostly amusing anecdote. It just didn't progress the plot, which is increasingly falling to the wayside. Harry is from another dimension. Voldemort is running around. The order is still alive. Tonks is moping.

Harry's female counterpart just receives an offhand mention. Why? This could be one of the most interesting parts of this story. Let me read one or two of these long letters those two are supposedly writing to each other. It wouldn't progress the plot either, but it would definitely add to the character development.

It's infuriating how this story consistently manages to land on both sides of the line between good and bad.

 

I love the new thread name, very appropriate.

 

i'd wondered about that. Other than that i agree with Trig.
I said i wouldn't rate the story until the 1st of september, and it looks like next chapter will be it (woo)

 

I really enjoy the author's take on divination and rituals.

EDIT: update

 

The author ALMOST had Harry making a speech in front of all the students about how much of a manipulative and evil being that Dumbledore is.
Thank every single being of power in any Religion ever that it is a almost. Anyway, nothing much happened in this chapter, though the end really threw me through a twist. I mean, WHAT! Also, I'm glad that Sprout's been introduced and how she's being portrayed, since whilst she's not a very interesting character, it's a welcome break from all the angst going on at the moment.

 

The speech in the staff room had me cringe so hard that I may end up stuck like that for a while.

How much funnier would it be if Harry told anyone who asked about the scars a different story?

"...voodoo sorcerer in the Carribean..."

"...slipped and took a handful of savage spoons to the face..."

"...turns out muggle vacuum cleaners and animation charms don't go well together..."

And just leave everyone guessing? This "coming-out" was boring, poorly done and such a wasted opportunity.

I have mixed feelings about Harry stunning a bunch of experienced wizards with the Divination techniques. Are they really that ignorant about it? McGonagall's comment especially sounded like nothing she would say.

I really didn't see the twist coming. Well done there.

The story continues to hover around a 3, sometimes a bit above, sometimes below.

 

Do you really want Harry to say 'Do you want to know how I got these scars'?
The author would sink to those levels, I can tell...

 

My eye twitched a little.

 

Well, September first rolled around this chapter, and as that is the point where i said i'd rate it, i'm giving it 3 out of five. ScottPress nailed it when he said it's sometimes a little above, somtimes a little below.

 

I seem to be in the minority here, but I give this a 4/5 for an in-progress fic. It's really well-written, I was intrigued the entire time. There was not a moment when I was bored enough to put it down, and that's something rare for me.

While the Harry portrayed in this fic might not be a "DLP Harry", I think the author strikes pretty close to what a slightly more mature Harry at the end of canon would be. Furthermore, the character growth is visible - he's not immediately cunning, like many fics would have. You can see him solving his way through challenges, and changing himself for the better. You can see the trials he goes through influencing his character, which is a big plus in my book.

The hostility between the Order and Harry is a two-fold problem, but I think the author wrote it very well. It's sort of an unspoken realization that Harry has - the Order is hostile to him because he's not their precious Boy-Who-Lived. On the other hand, Harry is hostile to the Order because of what they've done, and because he realizes that much of their demeanor in his presence in canon was due to him being around.


I think the anger and hostility on both parts is well-justified and makes for a tense and entertaining read.


And the author's take on Divination is original. That's another plus.

4/5

 

I don't think you read his post thoroughly enough. Try again.

This is the only part of his review that contains the word 'just' or a synonym thereof.

 

Well, the hostility on the side of the Order is not 'just' - they're angry at someone who has no responsibility in this situation for not being what they expected.

Their feelings are reasonable. As in, they are angry at the situation and at themselves for involving another innocent in the war and hurting him, so they project their anger at the convenient target and blame Harry.

Thus, their feelings are justified. That doesn't mean their actions are just/fair/deserved. But they are well-founded, understandable, even human, which is well done by the author.

 

Except that in their eyes he's not human, just a tool to be used by the Order and discarded as appropriate. This is the moral event horizon in which the story begins and from which it really can't be rescued (no matter how much Tonks play-acts the caring-friend role). We're led to believe by the first few Order scenes that they'd feel no more remorse or anger at involving an 'innocent' Harry than they would an innocent hammer or innocent wizarding portrait. In fact, they'd probably feel more remorse over the portrait, as it reflects a one-time real person in their world.

Their only real frustration is that their tool didn't turn out to be particularly useful for their immediate purposes, which is justifiable (after a fashion).

 

Story was just updated.
I'm not sure what to think of this chapter it's o.k., i suppose.
I was disappointed we didn't get to see what was written in Tonks' letter. Tbh, i was more curious in that than his interaction with his female self.

 

I'm seriously considering changing the rating to 2/5. Most of the latest chapter was a clusterfuck of angst, somewhat justified but still bashing (which only highlights other problems) and trying to save a wonky premise.

 

I thought the latest chapter had a nice natural flow. Nothing felt forced there.

 

Yeah, the latest chapter was ok. Especially his first class was better than average.