Title: Master of Wood, Water and Hill
Author: Karmic Acumen
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Humor
Status: In-Progress
Length: 93,312 words
Summary: Bilbo Baggins wondered what Gandalf was thinking. Oh well, Bag End would sort him out. His house did NOT approve of vandalism, thank you very much. That rune carved into his door learned it personally. Besides, it served the wizard right for not heeding the rumors about Bilbo and the Old Forest.
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10096096/1/Master-of-Wood-Water-and-Hill

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This fic is a cracky interpretation of what might have happened if Bilbo reclassed from thief to bard. And was raised by Tom Bombadil. It's a silly romp through the early stages of the Hobbit with superstitious dwarves, singing hobbits, and a semi-sentient Bag End. The plot doesn't really go anywhere, and the writing quality wavers, but I enjoyed some parts of this. There are some really lovely lyrical turns of phrase here and there, but there are also a great many lines of cringey dialogue.

It's no masterpiece, but the nonsense is the right kind of flavour to fit in with Middle Earth, and this was a nice change of pace after some of the darker pieces I've come across recently. Don't expect to be impressed, but you might smile a few times.

3/5

 

I got a decent ways down it but got bogged down with too much detail with not enough happening and discouraged by the Gandalf/dwarf bashing. The Gandalf isn't too bad, might not even quite qualify as bashing, but the contract scene with the dwarves made me roll my eyes and tab out.

Came back a while later to give it another shot but it didn't really seem to be going anywhere so I stopped.

2/5 for me.

 

I really enjoyed this to begin with. Bilbo the mad bard was brilliant, and seeing him prancing around and causing shenanigans was great. Sentient Bad-End was fun, and the writing, in general, wasn't bad.

But I just didn't really care.

I started reading on my phone at work on a Friday, and didn't pick it back up over the weekend. Come Monday, I just couldn't be bothered to keep on going with "Bilbo solves everything, the musical". It felt very similar to how I remember Lord of the Rings, in that it takes a very long time to say anything, because everything is worth saying something about. It meanders around, and we get interesting diversions, but I was something like five chapters in, and they'd had dinner and gone shopping.

Whilst this wasn't bad, it wasn't my cup of tea. 3.5, rounded down to a 3/5