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Complete The World at War Series by Marquis Black - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Bael, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. Bael

    Bael Raptured to Hell

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    Titles:The Dar Wars: Empire's Plight
    The Dark Wars: Empire's End
    (In that Order)
    (Two more in series, all completed -Sesc)

    Author: Marquis Black

    Rating: M

    Genre: Adventure/ Drama

    Pairings: HP/GW

    Status:WIP

    Summary:A concept that arose in my mind after reading many "Final Battle" and beyond stories. I guess after reading too many fairytale-ish stories where Harry basically invokes a deus ex machina to defeat Voldemort (secret amulet, sudden powers, some massive weapon hidden in Hogwarts no one has ever heard about, what have you) and then due to Voldemort kicking the bucket all Death Eaters either die or surrender from the backlash, I just got tired of the repetition and decided to make a more...realistic world, where the war against Voldie isn't just long, but gruesome and hard fought. Where men and women are tried by chaos and horror and either succumb to it or rise above it.

    Links: The Dark Wars: Empire's Plight, The Dark Wars: Empire's End

    This story is onee of the few stories that I have found on FanFic that is original and has many great concepts and ideas, and it is obvious that the aiuthor did a lot of research on his material. This story is also one of the few that deals with the influence of the English Monarchy. The only problem I had with the story was that the fact that it was a Harry/Ginny but thankfully there isn't a lot fluff concerning them.
     
  2. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Muggle weaponry is portrayed pretty well. The pre-battle speeches Harry gives, remarkably, aren't cheesy.

    On a side note, the sequel brings in airships.
     
  3. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    I think the Harry/Ginny in this will be too much for most DLPers. I read the author's first effort "Beginnings of the Dark War" which was then rewritten into the first story (Empire's Plight). And I read the rewrite. Haven't started the sequel yet.

    There are a number of things you have to overlook (speed of spellcasting for example) but if you can this fic is unlike any other I've read and has me very intrigued. I'll keep reading, but it may just be too frustrating for the truly ardent Ginny-haters.

    One of the few fics that really deals with the idea of the British Empire and Loyalists. Occasionally it feels like semi-veiled propaganda with moments of preachiness, but still worth my time reading just because of how it's different.

    Probably about 4/5 for me (though I expect some of the more discerning 'DLP-ish' attitudes to find this fanfic awful).
     
  4. KenderCleric

    KenderCleric Lord of Plot Bunnies

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    I've read this fic on and off since before the rewrite. It's not really my cup of tea, but is fairly well done. The HP/GW aspect isn't horrible, but does irritate. I like the unique take the story presents on the wizarding world's relationship to the muggle crown.

    All in all a decent read. 3.5/5
     
  5. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    OH, it's this story.

    I stopped reading it a while back: it bothered me that the soldiers are using out-dated weaponry. Also, I don't know if it explains it in future chapters, but how the fuck did Harry end up with Ginny?

    It does introduce many ideas that sound cool in jest, however, implementation is a completely different story. Technomagic is just an extremely difficult thing to work into the realm of Harry Potter.

    It's a decent story, but I don't think I could give it more than a 3 after the amount a read. It's more of a fic to pass the time than a favorite.
     
  6. Wergan

    Wergan Third Year

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    I read this story and I quite liked it. I felt the writing was really average but the idea is pretty cool. Is it a top notch best written story, no. Is it a good I'm bored and want something to read fic, defiantly.
     
  7. The Duke

    The Duke Seventh Year

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    I dislike the whole H/G-slut part of the story but I've found it pretty easy to ignore(mostly). There are quite a few other minor things that are pretty dumb too but on the whole I quite enjoy this story, it is definitely a new idea and for the most part well written and well thought up. I sort of think of the whole weaponry thing as either the parts being hard to enchant as they are more and more complexly made throughout the years by the muggle militaries or the government just doesn't want to spend the money upgrading and buying new equiptment, and as a member of the military I can definitely attest to that last one, one of the first things I was told upon joining was, and this is an exact quote, "The Army doesn't like change, and when it does want change there's no cash to actually do so." This was told to my whole freakin training platoon by our Course Warrant. I'm thinking four out of five stars.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2007
  8. Muttering Condolences

    Muttering Condolences Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    Meh, it's a bit interesting in some parts, like the Army blasting a DE fortress with cannons, but rather unbelievable at others. I mean, Harry being a Major General before his twentieth birthday? Even if he is a prodigy, that's just over the line.

    I'd much rather read a story where Harry is a grunt, using both magic and a normal gun to blast the living shit outta anything in his path (Cliche, I know).

    In conclusion, it's more of a palate-cleansing story, 2.4/5
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Unrealistic characterisation of...pretty much everyone, massive power shift away from magic and towards muskets, too much "Harry's forces, by virtue simply of being Harry's, instantly are better than everyone else", and too much pro-Britishness.

    2/5 and not because of the H/G, which I didn't even get to before I pressed the red cross.
     
  10. Inferi

    Inferi Third Year

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    It was not even about any recognizable Harry Potter. The author took the names of people and places from the Harry Potter series, gave those names to totally different people, and then decided that magic sucks, muskets rule.

    Harry somehow ends married to Gnny(before he was 16 meaning she was 15 or younger), even though he has only been to Hogwarts once, and she is some sort of spy master running a network of spys inside of a SCHOOL. And the fact that the author admits that his Lily and Ginny are exactly alike (the hot, fiery redhead, whos extra spunky) that was wierd.

    And the whole Dumbledore and Snape doing everything together, gasping, looking sad, sneering, thing was also bad.

    But it was mostly the 'muggles showing those stuck up wizards a thing or two' that made me stop after chapter six. 1/5
     
  11. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Ya, I read Harry Potter fanfiction for the magic, if I wanted to read about muskets I would get some good history books.

    Not my type of story, so 2/5.
     
  12. Kento

    Kento Guest

    from what ive read so far its okay i dislike the old military uniforms and weapons though that irks me but other thn that i like it 4/5
     
  13. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Ok, first off. Kento, I'd head over to the intro forums... possibly even read the rules.

    Secondly, this story wasn't quite what I was expecting. I generally love the idea of Harry in the military, the current military. Why the hell would they be using red coats still? For anyone, red is just a stupid color to wear on the battlefield. Why? Because it makes you a bright shiny fucking target.

    Thirdly, Harry's knowledge and relationships with the existing members of Hogwarts; Ginny, Neville, Blaise, etc. Seems rather off considering it was built around Harry coming to Hogwarts to slay the Basilisk... why the hell did they get Harry to do that in the first place? REAL likely...

    While the explanation for the muskets was well done, as were all of the historical addends tossed in at the top of each chapter. It remains just idiotic.

    This, while well researched... is the work of someone who has a serious hard-on for old, nay, archaic military tactics and fashion. Just because you romanticize something, doesn't mean the rest of us are going to agree with you, nor does it in fact make said item better.

    Oh, and Ginny must ALWAYS die.

    2/5
     
  14. BlitzkriegAngel

    BlitzkriegAngel Vayash Moru DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed it, it was done moderatly well, the H/G can be ignored for a lot of it so it isn't horrible, the plot itself is imo quite good and it does not use to many cliches.

    4/5
     
  15. Muttering Condolences

    Muttering Condolences Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    Updated. Now Ginny is preggers and apparently the child could be a dark magic using, totally ruthless, extreme badass. Go figure.

    That chapter drops the entire thing down to 1/5.
     
  16. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    I'm echoing Taure here.

    The whole spirit of Harry Potter (the series) seems to have been lost.

    And the H/G is too much for me. I dunno, but those moments it has are unbearable. Still a good fic to past the time, I guess.

    2.5/5
     
  17. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Bumping as this was recommended to me and has been in my To Read folder for some time. It starts off as terrible, pro-imperial wanking and descends into terrible, pro-imperial H/G wanking not long after. The writing is disjointed and the speech unnatural, and more than a few times the following were used in non-ironic ways:

    "God Save the Queen"
    "Rule Brittania"

    And a few "inspiring speeches" that would've been trumped by many a High School Commemoration speech. I want my time back, for fucks sake.
     
  18. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'd forgotten about this story. I remember running across it early in my fanfiction reading and remembered it as being painful, but somewhat readable, cringeworthy in several elements and with a horribly idiotic ending.

    On a lark, I tried rereading it today. Ouch. Videlicet,

    Yes, literally screaming. And then the men "paled and some cursed wildly," all because the leader of the Light and most powerful wizard in the world spoke the words, "killing curse" (and not "thermonuclear bomb" or "Marv Albert," which would be truly terrifying indeed).

    2/5: this is only chapter 2 and I know just how cheesy the rest of the story becomes.
     
  19. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Bump. Let's get some more reviews for this bitch.
     
  20. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    This series is a mixed bag, but it's worth a read - albeit something of an acquired taste.

    The Empire worship is a little annoying at times, the ending is something of a let down, and the Harry/Ginny feels a little rushed at first (they're what, 16 when they get married?) Some of the characterisation feels more like bashing than anything else - especially Dumbledore. That said, the writing is (mostly) good, and certainly gets better as the series progresses, and the action is (again, mostly) excellent.

    3/5
     
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