Title: A Death Eater's Daughter
Author: Whatever Makes You Break
Rating: T
Genre: Romance
DLP Category: Romance
Pairing: Fred Weasley / OC
Status: Complete
Summary: Nemesis Dolohov, daughter of the infamous Death Eater, had accepted her destiny, but things don't go as planned once she lays eyes on a fun-loving young Weasley. Part I.
Link: FFNet

As Whatever Makes You Break has decided to bless DLP with her presence, I thought I'd put this up for review.

Aside from breaking the Harry-Centric rule, being an incredible Mary-Sue, delusions of grandeur on the part of the author, obvious grammatical and spelling errors, a weak plot, poor punctuation and a whole cast of stupid, disagreeable and weak original characters, this isn't a bad story at all.

...Oh wait.

 

Wow, I loved the story.... Not

---------- Post automerged at 09:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:32 PM ----------

I give it 1/5

 

Nemesis Dolohov? Nemesis?

Okay, so some of the characters have Latin names or are named after constellations and such.

But seriously. Nemesis? Where do these people come up with some of these names? I mean, jeez, Nemesis? Who the heck would name a character (or a real child) Nemesis?

I hate when people go overboard with finding strange names for characters.

Latin name here and there? Okay. Constellation or something like that? Sure, it happens. Foreign name, especially for a foreign character, certainly.

But honestly, is it THAT hard to keep it believable?


Eh, guess so, seeing as it happens so often.

1/5 just for the name...mind, it would have been 1/5 just for being non-Harry-Centric anyway, but thats another story.

 

This was the literary equivalent of what wine made from fermented raccoon diarrhea must taste like.

First two sentences demonstrate:

1. Love of cliches.
2. First person narration.
3. Blatant self-insert.

First chapter demonstrates:

1. The ability to write a grammatically sound sentence.
2. Nothing else.

Rating: 1/5.
Suggestion for Author: Invent a time machine. Use it. Give your mother an abortion.

 

I'm going to go ahead and agree with everyone before me. I really can't say much else about it but that this fic is going to get a 1/5 from me.

 

Well, I genuinely appreciate all of the beautifully delivered commentary on my literary atrocity of a fic. Your constructive criticism was utterly ingenius. I will definitely take every word to heart. I think it is pathetic that all of you left ANONYMOUS reviews on the fic. Are you scared of my backlash? I would have thought not considering you were all so quick to make such crude comments on this thread.

Allow me to apologize for thinking any other character besides Harry mattered. I will certainly go back and make every fic I have ever written Harry-centric. How silly of me to recognize any other character in the 7 book series? Clearly no one but Harry should be acknowledged as credible to write about.

In regards to the name Nemesis...it IS a Latin name that means vengeance, justice, and retribution. If you would have actually read past the first chapter you would have known that and realized she goes by a nickname.

Giovanni - If I happen to someday invent a time machine I will do my best to alert my Mother of her fatal error in opting to birth such an awful daughter. I would inform her of her idiocy now, but unfortunately she was taken by breast cancer when I was fourteen. So sorry. Thanks for mentioning my Mother, though. I firmly appreciate it.

You know, I wrote this fic for fun. I did not intent to present it to be some product for demented ridicule. I am sorry none of you enjoyed it but some people do. If you absolutely hate it then wonderful. You're entitled to your opinion. I do not claim to have put a large amount of effort into that fic, and I most certainly HAVE NOT attained delusions of grandeur by any means. I'm sorry you wasted your time reading my drabbles. I hope my other 2 HP fics are slightly better, but I doubt any of you would think so (so don't waste anymore of your time).

Again, terribly sorry my moronic excuse for a story rotted your brains and lowered your undoubtedly high IQs.

-Mila

 

if this isn't how every Mary Sue! story starts out I'll shoot myself..

Here you fall into a cliche that can be avoided had you just not wrote a Mary Sue!, whether she follows her families ideals or not we know from the main characters in the story how it is going to end, changing the main male character from Harry to Fred at this point doesn't matter.

looks like I was write (maybe I'm a Seer?)

I'm trebling in anticipation..

Didn't see that one coming..
Honestly the author playing the "love" card? that's new.

she's so complex, I truly feel deeply for her and admire her spirit..

I'm sick of making quotes but CHAPTER 1 ends with Voldy making this girl change schools so he "can keep a better eye on her." This story is an epic fail on all accounts, except for the writing, which actually isn't that bad. but overall the story is beyond shitty.
1/5

 

Alright, here is my signed review flippantly insulting you, unafraid of your backlash.

No need to apologize, though the sentiment is appreciated.

If you didn't put a serious effort in writing it, then don't feel bad it turned out as terribly as it did. If you don't give a shit for what you write, then your writing will be shit. Simple as that.

 

Okay, people, here's the deal...before when I saw my fic was quoted under "Worst Summaries" I had no idea what the hell this site was or that it even existed. I regret even responding because I had NO IDEA what this site was about before now. I now know, after speaking with a few people on here, what this site is derived of...the complete opposite of everything I write about...meaning love stories, anything not Harry-centic, and typical fangirl bullshit. Yeah, I admit I write that. I don't mind it, you do. Whatever. *shrugs*

Though I still can't believe people would take their distaste of my fic to such disgustingly offensive lengths, I can understand why it is so greatly disliked. I see how popular Harry!Independent and Voldemort fics are on here, and it is crystal clear why my plot is rubbish to you all. Sorry again for even replying beforehand.

-Mila

 

I'll just give the standard reminders.

1) The Potter Law is fun and all, yet there's nothing such as a "Harry-Centric rule".
2) There is a thread for such recommendations.

Giving a bad rating because you don't like the genre: check.
Giving the impression that you haven't read the story at all: check.
Rating the story despite not having read the story at all: check.

I give your review 1/5.

Thread Locked for inappropriate location and overall mediocrity.