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WIP A Game of Style and Brutality - by Barney XII - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Azrael's Little Helper, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery Prestige

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    Harry Potter should be the Lebron James of Quidditch. As a high school freshman he would have been dunking on seniors and he completely skipped college, still going #1 in the draft against prospects older and more decorated than him. In the public eye since he was a youngster, and yet, still the best damn player in the game.
     
  2. bluemooks

    bluemooks First Year

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    Just to clarify one of your points your comparing small scrawny Harry to a large muscular 16/17 year old Krum. Who would be able to push back against other seekers
     
  3. Rakkety Tam

    Rakkety Tam Professor

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    So, when he was 11 he didn't seem to have an issue against players that were older than him and had been playing longer than him. Pretty sure he was playing against some 16 and 17 year old kids then and definitely taking some hard fouls from the Slytherin team. If the size difference didn't stop him when he was 11 and had only been flying a broom for a few months, it shouldn't be that big of a deal when he is 17 and had been playing for years.

    The problem with this whole how could he push back against bigger guys thing is that seekers are supposed to be light and fast. If you are too big you aren't going to be able to push the other guy because he is going to be ahead of you and you won't be able to catch up.
     
  4. bluemooks

    bluemooks First Year

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    I look at it from a basketball stand point. A PG guarding another PG if one of the point guards is smaller but has better skills (ball handling, shooting,etc.) and is playing against a full on adult then it'll take a lot of effort and support from his teammates to over come that for that (unless your shot outside is like steph curry). I understand your point that Harry should be starting but i really think its a small suspension of belief
     
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    My reply to this is basically the same as for the entire Quidditch argument:

    School kids=/= professionals.
     
  6. Rakkety Tam

    Rakkety Tam Professor

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    I agree on average, but there are kids who can make the transition from high school to professional sports if there weren't rules in place forcing them to play so many years in college or be a certain age first. Krum is an example of this and Harry should be too given what we know about him. Even if Harry isn't on Krum's level he is at the very least the equivalent of a 1st round draft pick.

    We can agree to disagree on this point though. It is far from the only reason this fic is so bad. The inconsistency of the way Harry's skill level is portrayed, his personality being so off, and the way some of the original characters are described also play a big role in my overall review.
     
  7. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    No. You're just assuming that. Harry's performance against school kids is not enough to compare him to Krum. You can assume that if you want, but it's not canon in any way.
     
  8. Rakkety Tam

    Rakkety Tam Professor

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    There is an argument to be made from canon based on what other people who are very knowledgeable about the sport have said about Harry's abilities that Harry would be at a professional level especially by the time he was 17. I'm not going to quote the various parts of canon about Harry's flying abilities and get into the differences in the talent pool to draw from due to the population size though. That would just derail the thread and serve little purpose. You are arguing something that is essentially a very small part of my overall review with what is wrong with this story.
     
  9. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    I agree with the criticism of Harry's characterization -- he is unnecessarily OOC. Really, what was wrong with writing a story about canon Harry playing professional Quidditch? Most of the other characterizations are bland too -- Daphne is just dull, and little more than a generic love interest. Harry playing in the same team as all of his Gryffindor teammates was meh -- there are far more opportunities for conflict playing against friends. Also, the lack of Ginny annoyed me -- if there is any story in which I'd expect her to play a role, its in a Quidditch story.

    The Quidditch matches themselves are very well done, which is the biggest plus of the story. The writing is pretty good in general. But the weak characterizations and lack of plot, as well as a few inconsistencies already mentioned in the thread, mean 3/5 from me. For what its worth, its the best Quidditch story out there, though that's not saying much.
     
  10. mattharris685

    mattharris685 Muggle

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    Update: The story seems to be abandoned. Perhaps update the heading from WIP?
     
  11. CaptainFlowers

    CaptainFlowers First Year DLP Supporter

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    ^ Can confirm, seemingly dead for whatever reason. Shame too.
     
  12. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    I could have sworn I reviewed this way back when, but I guess not. It's strange that a lot of times I can barely remember stories I read last month, but this story still sticks out, though that's likely due to it being just one of a handful of passable Quidditch stories. Thusly, is the problem. It's a quidditch story, and the author's chosen hook of making it interesting - the gritty part - is really only surface deep. There's a lot of consistency problems. Like, if the game was actually brutal, people would be dead. Metal bludgers flying around at 100 mph would kill people. And, if that's not the case, then the game really isn't as dangerous as people think, and that kind of ruins the whole premise fullstop.