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WIP A Grey World by agreyworld - T - Original Fiction

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Oz, Aug 5, 2013.

  1. Tomster10010

    Tomster10010 Fourth Year

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    Dec 1, 2011
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    110
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    I like this and quite enjoyed Alexis giving her bullies a comeuppance.
     
  2. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    Aug 22, 2008
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    Seems to me like the military could make a lot of use of her talents. They'd have to look harder to find a more suitable person to do wetwork.
     
  3. Rym

    Rym Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    637
    Bump. This is continuing to update consistently. With the newest chapter, it seems that book 2 is coming to a close. Some big things have happened and it will certainly be interesting to see where this goes from here.
     
    TSN
  4. TMNTurtwig

    TMNTurtwig Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2011
    Messages:
    410
    I read the first few chapters of this forever ago, never really got into it. With Worm ending I needed a new web serial to get my fix so I retried this one. Holy Shit. If, like me, you've been putting off reading this or never got into it I strongly recommend you read it. I love the fight scenes and the romance sub-plot, and all-in-all the story is just handled excellently.
     
  5. Erandil

    Erandil Minister of Magic

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    Jul 27, 2008
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    1,339
    Location:
    Germany
    A very entertaining story with an very interesting protagonist/setting. Like the others here I found the bullying/family stuff a bit over the top but the others parts of it made more than up for it.

    While the plot is nice I am not sure how I feel about the whole government agency/black ops theme because it seems to make it unnecessary complicated. It feels like this story doesn´t really know what it wants to be/tries to be everything at once. Is it a modern coming of age story, (military) sci-fi, a spy story(like a dark themed Alex Rider) or something else?

    Still this is critic on a high level and and I can´t wait too see what happens next.
     
  6. Idiot Rocker

    Idiot Rocker Auror

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2011
    Messages:
    634
    Yeah I'm a little on the fence about this one. There's a whole bunch of disparate elements floating around right now. All of which vary in theme.

    I think my verdict on this one is going to stay nebulous until everything comes together a little more smoothly. At the moment I quite like the romance, and ground level street stuff. Everything else is sitting in 'ok' territory for now.
     
  7. Rym

    Rym Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    637
    Joe (the author) has said that when he first started writing, he didn't really have an end game in mind, only a premise. I believe that now he knows where he's taking the story, so things should settle out and streamline from here on.
     
  8. AGreyWorld

    AGreyWorld Squib

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2013
    Messages:
    6
    Yeah, the plot is a bit all over the place I admit! If there was one thing I would improve it would be my planning/plotting.

    As Rymrock mentioned, I started with a 'this would be cool' and just seat-of-my-pantsed it from there. And it shows. It's come up with some interesting ideas that I probably would have never come across if I'd tried to follow a well defined plan (or even had an ending in mind when I started) but I tried to do a lot of things when sometimes less is more.

    It's kind of like a first draft of a novel - a bit experimental. I'd like to go back and do a proper re-write with the aim of making it more consistent from the beginning.

    I'm surprised I even have any readers though. I started this for a bit of fun, and, in the end - It's kinda more fun to write if I don't have a clue what's going to happen.

    Thanks for the comments though, I like coming and checking up on this thread every now and again.