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WIP A Practical Guide to Evil by Erraticerrata - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by DvorakQ, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. Mutton

    Mutton Unspeakable

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    I can buy the Cat/Goddess parts fine; the entire pitch behind the priestess role was that she wouldn't put up with their shit but also advance their interests, act as an advocate while being a jester whispering "you are fallible" in their ear. She amuses them but they aren't threatened but her.

    The terraform bit is dumb though
     
  2. Saez

    Saez Professor

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    I liked the Drow's political speeches, Jindrich's was epic but as usual Rumena blew it away. It felt like a death flag for him though.
     
  3. cucio

    cucio Third Year

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    I am surprised no one here (cough, cough) has flipped his shit out at those convenient angelic dreams explaining how Cat's behavior during the suicide straw picking mess was kosher, so everyone on the Good camp is ok with her when she comes back. Talk about cheap cop out narrative devices...

    On another subject, some Choir or another should get fucking BAFF Rozala a Name. Maybe she gets to be a claimant to SoS, now that it's free. And some other Procerans who had stood valiantly against the HH, for that matter, like the foppish dude who threw his cavalry down a precipice to impale a zombie dragon. The White Fop has a nice ring to it.
     
  4. Legacy

    Legacy Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Seriously though, how does he not get a name for that. Oh hi there Vivienne, you stole a bunch from nobles who you hate? Have a name. William, you hate Praes and wanted revenge against them and pledged yourself to a choir? Have a name.

    If the dude who rode a horse off a cliff to stab an undead dragon in the face and hold the line against the undead doesnt get a name, I will call bullshit.
     
  5. Stealthy

    Stealthy Seventh Year

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    Eh, it's pretty irrelevant since Pilgrim came back to life. Both because that resurrection overshadows the dreams as a thing to complain about, but also because you don't need to avert the consequences of someone's death when they're still alive. There's really nothing the dreams copped out on.
     
  6. cucio

    cucio Third Year

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    That is not supposed to make it better. In fact, it makes the angelic dreamspam even more absurd to be included in the story, since Tariq's resurrection is a much more sensible narrative device to mend the gap opened by Laurence's death.

    A hero with the potential of hurting the DK died: that's a huge conflict to be resolved between opposing sides seeking an alliance. Both Cat and Tariq were aware and tried to avoid this at all costs, until they couldn't because the alternative was letting the Arcadia shard crush the armies. Resorting to Choir Night News to make a conflict set up along several chapters simply poof out of the narrative is the very definition of a cheap-ass Deus Ex Machina.
     
  7. Legacy

    Legacy Order Member DLP Supporter

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    And once again I find the side stories to be far more interesting to follow than Cat's merry adventure. While not the best of the interludes, the political shenanigans of a coup against Hasenbach is proving fun to follow.
     
  8. Mutton

    Mutton Unspeakable

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    They're shorter which means that the plot actually has to move in them. Plus the characters are just more fun because they're not slaved to being Cat's kooky minions
     
  9. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Jazz Hands!!!

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    While I actually enjoyed this whole thing with Cordelia a great deal, I have three continued complaints:

    1) My boy Hanno continues to be cockblocked at every turn.

    2) The list of plans the Bard made that failed utterly continues to grow, making her seem ever less threatening.

    3) While at least there's an explanation for Cordy not having a Name, anyone without a Name continues to be irrelevant, including the whole of Procer.
     
  10. Mutton

    Mutton Unspeakable

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    I really liked the ending. The first part was so very tell instead of show, although granted I'm not sure on their ability to show good politicking
     
  11. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Jazz Hands!!!

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    I think I've made it fairly readily apparent at every turn that I think the Accords are, in a word, dumb as fuck, and stuff like this isn't really helping since--beyond the hundred and one different reasons why it should logically fall apart to begin with--pretty much everyone involved fucking hates each other, is plotting against each other, and is constantly scheming to get an advantage, which is inherently an issue between any of these political groups, but becomes enormously, blatantly obvious whenever Team Evil is involved. We had a pretty fair amount of this recently with Cat making a ton of demands that the Good Nations, while politically forced to accept, inherently fucking loath, from forgiving Black for being a goddamn mass-murdering hobo bathing in Old Evil tactics like pillaging, burning, and slaughtering villages, as well as getting deep into preparing to throw out good faith and kill, scheme, and strongarm her way to her goals while criticizing any Good Nations that do the same--but we also have this degree of infighting and sabotage, because yeah, every Evil Nation involved here, including Cat, are untrustable, godless motherfuckers.

    Cat is knee-deep in preparing to backstab and murder anyone in her way, Black would happily do everything he did before all over again, Scribe is flat-out prepared to risk the survival of this whole Alliance (and probably half the continent along with it*) to put Black on the Throne she thinks he belongs in, the drow still think murder, violence, and betrayal are sacred, the Tyrant is going to betray everyone involved the first chance he gets and literally everyone knows it, and the Hierarch obeys a series of rules and laws that are nightmarish when they suddenly start happening to you.

    And we're expected to believe the Accords are going to last more than five seconds past the point where anyone involved can help it, because...?

    *Friendly reminder that, whether Scribe has control of the Eyes of the Empire or not, in literally any universe where Cordelia isn't the stone-cold, cast-iron Queen Bitch of Procer who'd rather jump out of a window, break her leg, and risk her survival on the honor of some random Alamans rather than be captured by some punk-ass motherfucker, the Alliance immediately evaporates and Procer's ability to wage war promptly crumbles as it's plunged into a Civil War, because the North that's been bleeding to death for the rest of the nation just saw their Queen usurped during war with the Dead King, and that shit's just gonna get worse and worse the more heroes get involved. Like, this plan was donkey fuck insane to begin with, but you've gotta realize, both the Pilgrim and the White Knight are now in Salia.

    Speaking of which, the plan is now to keep what's really going on secret from two people who can't be lied to and someone who can see the future, all of whom are behind Cordelia right now, which, uh, um, guys? I know heroes are utterly worthless and will never accomplish anything in this story, much less against Cat and Black, but you guys should still think this is a bad idea.
     
  12. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Jazz Hands!!!

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    Are we still trying to pretend you care? Akua has been your go too girl for everything in the last hundred chapters.

    Also, no, Ratface is long since forgotten. It took, like, fifty chapters after his death to get a any actual emotion about it.

    Since fucking when? Yes, I'm still on this.

    Hey, maybe it'll even amount to something, finally.

    ...Haaaaa.

    Even acknowledging the risks, keeping these secrets when the Heroes are in town should be a terrible idea, but probably won't be. Anyway, my boy Hanno's back, so that's nice. I'll admit, I have a guilty love for heroes and villains just, like, walking into each other around the town and only realizing it after awhile, so I'm interested in this.
     
  13. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Jazz Hands!!!

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    While it's understandable for any sovereign power to want to avoid giving up the right to judge it's own citizens, I think it's notable that while she only touches upon it lightly, Cat says this with full knowledge that part of this is because a lot of people on her team don't deserve to live.

    Case in point. And the funny thing is, you kind of have to sit down and think about this bafflingly horrible logic, as Cat says Black is 'the man who’d stood between Praes and its worst impulses for decades, and perhaps the monster needed to reform the Dread Empire into a nation that wouldn’t vomit its poison over the rest of Calernia every few decades,' somehow forgetting that 1) Black has been the executor of said impulses upon Callow for that entire time and was the only reason Praes successfully accomplished anything, after a run of fifty consecutive losses. Yet we're somehow supposed to accept that things would be worse without him?

    Cat, your mentor has butchered his way across half the fucking continent. Forty years ago, Praes couldn't make it across the fucking fields.

    Also, I feel like, first of all, a bunch of shit is being forgotten here, including the ability of Mage Named to snap their fingers and blow up cities, the difficulty most groups have in gathering information, the fact that Named arise from specific societal circumstances, and, you know, fucking history. In case anyone forgot--because apparently everyone fucking forgot--assholes causing trouble like this boils down to Praes and Helike for the most part*, the former of whom went through over a thousand years of devastating, humiliating, colossal failures, being crushed by Callow pretty much every time they interacted and mostly resorting to staving off starvation by dying en masse on Callowan swords. The latter? Is literally built upon the story of invading the rest of the continent anyway.

    Historically speaking, shit like this has already happened, and it didn't change anything.

    *And now maybe the drow, but keep in mind--basically no one can do anything about the drow. Cat talks big, but she has an opinion because the goddesses that made her their bitch allow it.
     
  14. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Is it just me or is there a romance story being angled at Hanno and Cat here. Mutual respect and curiosity and a call for a secret frowned upon meeting after hours. White Knight, Black Queen.

    EE wouldn't be that blatant, right? Right?
     
  15. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    I feel like something is afoot as well.