Its been updated again. It deals with the elves a good bit and Daray has his transformation

 

My review of it:

Well, I started reading this fic about 3/4 of the way through Second Chance and followed it until the 3rd or so chapter of Changes but I stopped reading at that point for some reason, why I don't know as this is easily in my top 3 favourite fics. But, now it's review time, so here it is.

Akren:

The main part of the story, and my favourite. I enjoy all the interaction and going-ons at Akren more then any part of any fic I've read, very well done, love the environment.

Harry/Rahkesh:

Again I like what you've done with this character, not afraid to kill but not driven by blood lust. I like how he looks out for ways to make a profit, it really adds to the story and his character. The abilities you've given him are good, powerful but with balancers. He obviously needs the powers to be able to compete with the Vampires.

Writing:

Well written but lots of small typos, things that you could catch just by running it through a spell check, very nice flow, amazing battle scenes, very good details.

OC's:

Probably the best OC's in the fandom, not much else to say here, love them, nicely done.

Harry's Courses:

I like Harry's course selection interesting and useful courses. A few things I'm sure he will be going into later would be Dueling etc. I thought you said he was taking it at the beginning though.

Vampires:

Very well thought out, I love the rigid heirarchy but, there are a few things. They seemed too powerful at first, but now it's been evened out, the mortals being so useless, even the aurors and unspeakables unable to take one down was quite surprising. You mentioned that drinking blood makes them stronger but you never really came back to it, I would assume that would be quite a focus for young vampires like Daray and Silas, Daray seems to take a lot of blood but you never mention him getting stronger because of it or even touch down on the effects of it. You said that the Vampire who drinks the others blood will get it's special abilities but so far we haven't seen that.

Elves:

Far too overpowered, I know the death dragons were commanders but still, you make it sound as though they would just rip the Vampires apart and there being several at least as strong as Namach.

Demons:

I am loving this angle, awesome, I can't wait to learn more about them and for Daray to have his transformation.

--

The thing that really throws me off in this story though is the balance of power. It fluctuates a lot, one moment Rahkesh is taking on several older blood magic students at once and doing very well, winning even. The next he's unsure if he can take a first year LionFae. With his powers someone like that shouldn't be a problem. He ripped apart tons of death eaters and Christmas and has only grown much stronger since then. Then there's Namach, was he just playing around with that one Demon Mage? Because if a Demon Mage which there seems to be no short supply of can fight evenly with him it would really throw everything off, after that though, he ripped demons apart quite easily. Rahkesh can kill 30 demons in battle yet is even with Daray in a fight? I think that how powerful everyone is needs to be laid out a little more. I think Namach of Cyalia should at least be as strong as the top elves. A would think Harry has a good deal more battle experience then even most Akren students but having him kicking demons around one moment and then stepping down to first year Akren students the next really makes go o.o.

I can't wait for Voldemort to die, I can only see this story getting much better from then on with the Demons and the inevitable elf conflict.

I think you should add more of Akren into the chapters though, more interaction at the school and about the lessons so we can see what they're learning.

No pairing is awesome, although you've shown that Harry is bi which is really quite odd considering the way you have written his character, VERY glad you didn't throw H/G or slash in there out of nowhere.

I'm sure I missed some stuff, I'll start reviewing ever chapter from her on though and will add anything I missed onto the next one.

 

I think its more of Harry and Daray are about equal in power and skill. Namach did say they were his most promising students in the first one.

 

Is this going to be moved to the Trash Bin, as per the system? The three stars rating is pretty glaring, at least to me, every time I browse the Alternates subforum.

 

On second thought, I'm just going to rate this thread 5/5 so that it has four stars.

 

I think Akren should be toned down a little; perhaps this crisis should give rise to a school Akren's equal? Or Rahkesh be turned down in an interview for a job even with his school, in a later book?

Also, Vamps should die more. No one would say 'oh, there all Mary Sues' if Namach died, or even Cyala Ateres. To me, Ateres is much more powerful than Namach was at her age. That could pose a threat that needed to be eliminated. Namach killed all Vamps older than him, so she could, too. Then again, there aren't too many of them.

She's been writing FFs for ten years. You would think she would lose the cliches.

 

I kinda doubt she will kill Namach. Cyala maybe but not Namach. Its far more likely that Namach will kill all the Ateres, except for Daray and Silas because he deems them to be no threat at the moment, if she wants to kill off a few vampires.

 

Of the handful or two of fics that I have read with Harry in a new environment/school this one seems the most fleshed out and real. Quite a few excellent OC's. It's definitely cool to have Voldemort put on the back burner. Sure Harry is working on killing him but not so much because of how much a threat he is on his own but more for the fact his influence is causing a lot of problems with the non humans. With all the extremely powerful characters Harry needs to become Super!Harry just to hold his own and just when you think one person is the king of the ring someone pulls something new out of the hat.

 

It just updated today and we saw Daray after the metamorphis from last chapter. We finally see another piece of Voldemort's soul destroyed and an important loose thread is going to be tired up soon.

Not a bad chapter as the sequel goes, but not spectacular either.

 

Story was updated about a week ago. Another short chapter where nothing much happens. We find out what was screwing up Harry's Bloodmagic, and that Harry is probably going to end up taking Voldemort down in the next 1-2 chapters.

 

I finally caught up with this, after that boring chapter with the demonvamp's history. Still a good story, even if heaps of new ideas and OC's are starting to cave in on the flimsy HP basis. Muggles must be completely brainless not to figure out all the shit that's going on here.

And yeah, Voldemort fight is finally coming. About damn time.

 

A Harry Potter fic and he finds Voldemort in the last chapter on the first multiple 100,000 word fic. Now in the next couple chapters of the second 100,000+ fic. WOW such a Harry Potter fic.

 

#1 story on FF.net. 5/5

 

It has been updated, this chapter deals with the conclave and some of the magical creatures that get together,

oh and my rating 5/5

 

This last chapter was very interesting. Nothing happen apart from the conference but we finally get some talk on just how powerful Rahkesh really is.

Either the next chapter or the one after that is were the shit really hits the fan with the demon invasion and the pre emptive strikes people are calling for.

We also look likely to be getting some hardcore training which she is very good at writting.

Over all I still find it an interesting story with a good magical theory and original ideas.

 

uhoh i've noticed that when someone say's something along these lines, someone else will take offense and decide to argue witht them

As for the story.. It seems like there's going to be some Vampire on Fae action when it comes to the future of Harry. I get the feeling that the Vashora will do something drastic to prevent Harry from being turned, and that the Fae council might have some ideas themselves.

Personally I wouldn't be suprised if the next chapter focused on Harry/Vashora/Fae Council interaction.. wouldn't mind it either :|

 

I want Harry to become immortal like a vampire with out being turned. Seems such a waste just letting him die in 100 years. Maybe all the shit thats happened to him with the dragons blood and animagi and bloodmagic will extend his life.

 

I think that's where the author is heading with Harry. Either giving him immortality at the end of the story, or at least making him long lived (the vashora saying a change will occur 'soon').

A significant part of the conversation in this chapter between the Vashora and Harry was about how much closer he is to his magic compared to other Humans and his affinity to bloodmagic. If that aint foreshadowing I dont know what is