Title: A Slave Within
Author: dArK-dAeMoIs-DeA
Rating: K+
Category: Angst/Action/Adventure
Status: COMPLETED
Summary: AU- Harry's brother desmond is 'the boy who lived'. what people dont know is that harry really defeated LV. harry is a servant to his family, who are all caugt up in desmond. harry hides in the corner, waiting for his turn to shine.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2512106/1/

 

...

See and I post at least a decent attempt to salvage HBP into a decent "Indiana Jones"-style Horcrux hunt and you bastards bitched.

Everyone get your pitchforks and spoons Zev must die for this one.


Seriously... I'm not opening that link, the author name alone tells me all I need to know.

 

Eh...looks like it wouldn't work. Some spelling and capitalization errors I can deal with, almost no capitalization I can't.

dArK-dAeMoIs-DeA

He better be glad you don't have to type in your username to log in. That might take a while, for me at least.

 

Well, I thought it was quite good. The summary and chapter numbering might not be the best but with 500 reviews and no slash I thought it might be good so I read it, and I will read the sequel when it comes out.

 

zev zev zev... *shakes head sadly* .... what were you thinking... a high amount of positive reviews doesnt a good story make... just pop into the H/G section... hundreds of stories that are complete suckass with THOUSANDS fo reviews proclaiming them the new bible...

I found this a while back,,, ive been ignoring all the spelling mistakes and following it... wlet me tell you this my vile dark lords and ladys ... it only gets worse...

not only is the plot so horridly cliche... its sooo entirely NOT plausible Snape/Voldie looks down right canon in comparison... James is a prat, so I could SEE him being NEGLECTFUL of a kid... but for LILY to BEAT and try to hex her own child? ... *snorts* next snapes gonna be awarded Witch Weekly's Best smile award or whatever the hell it was....

and speaking of snape... the guy is a petty childish BIGOT... after all that happened, even IF Harry is adpted by Lupin, he's still gonna treat the two like utter shite...NOT be all buddy buddy with them...

i wont bother continuing...

 

Vash, have you ever read a HP fanfiction that fill your requirements?

And I know about the review thing but it wasn't HP/GW or Slash so it looked good.

And who cares if they are a little bit of au. If all stories were like canon it would such.

 

You might kill me now, but i found the story quite good... Sure the grammar and spelling isn't very good, but who cares as long as its not toooooo horrible.
I think that Snape might like Harry just because his parents hate him ^^.

Btw.: When you are killing me please don´t use fire. It ruins me when I have to buy new clothes every week

 

Well, it's the best Harry-is-not-BWL-and-he's-abused story out there, but considering other stories from that genre, that doesn't say much. Since the whole basic idea is unrealistic, it's not the author's fault that most of the characters are OOC. If we overlook that, the story is quite readable.

 

Actually, I would contend that it is the author's fault for writing a story based on a cliched, horribly unrealistic premise to begin with. I haven't actually read the story, as I tend to avoid this particular sort of plot like the plague.

 

The only way to do this properly would be to kill off Lily (thus enabling her to cast her love shield, which is usually conveniently forgotten) and then have James blaming Harry for her death and redirecting his love to BWL.

 

Well if it's an AU then the author can turn the story into whatever they would like to. Even if it's a cliche as long as the story is good what does it matter. If your tired of reading the cliche'd fics heres a good idea STOP. I'm tired of everyone whining and moaning about them.

 

Welcome to DLP Lord Orion Black.

Personally any fic that takes the characters and rips them so far OOC, like Lily hexing Harry(ha!) isnt Harry Potter and so I dont really want to read such fics

 

isn't that the point of writing fan fiction?

 

No, the point of fanfiction is to write an original story using the setting and characters of a popular, published author. Such details as reinventing canon characters as massively OOC, or changing the setting with an AU, are individual choices that each author makes in his fanfic story. In these particular cases, these choices are bad ones, as few have the talent and desire to realistically and plausibly make those changes while remaining within the overall canon universe. If you are using canon characters in an OOC manner, there should be a good and properly explained reason that does not stretch the reader's suspension of disbeief so far that the story becomes incredible, or overtly implausible. Stories such as this one, set in an AU, with extremely OOC characters portrayed in an unrealistic manner, are not credible enough to hold discerning readers, or those with a great deal of experience in reading or writing fanfiction. However, that does not mean that the story is bad, it simply means that the majority of the favorable readership is likely to be less discriminating, such as most of the H/G fluff crowd who will eagerly swallow whatever cumload is shot up onto ff.net as long as "Harry loves Ginny, because they're soulmates from the encounter in the Chamber of Secrets, and all Potters love redheads. What will he do about it?"

For those interested, the appropriate answer is "Murder/Suicide"