1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

"A Song of Ice and Fire" stories

Discussion in 'Story Search' started by purple, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. Wyatt Jones

    Wyatt Jones First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2018
    Messages:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Can't help but feel like the author should've rubbed one out before he started writing.

    The entire story is Jon becoming a knight of renown, the sex scenes were just silly and distracted from that.

    He defeated the rainbow knights, but that was just one feat. I wanted more of that - Jon becoming more and more popular from whispers of his deeds among the small folk to the nobles, growing bigger and bigger until everyone knows his name. All the while, the story is set from his perspective we realize what a shit time he's had and how he feels he isn't noble of his renown. After his fight with the knights, though, it's just like a flip is switched and that's all it took.
     
  2. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
    Messages:
    3,028
    It's a shitty story. All tell, no fucking show. Unless you count the fucking. The author is invested into describing how Jon fucks Cersei, Arianne, one of Oberyn's daughters, how Sansa also tried to go the Lannister route with him - on and on and on it drones. No matter what happens - Robb gets killed by Boltons and Freys, his father's head is chopped off, this particular Jon Snow only mopes and fucks and angsts. What's that? Jon fights for Daenerys now? Well, you know what's coming next, that's right, Jon fucks Daenerys.

    You know what I wanted to know about? House Frey's fate. Boltons were eradicated, but of Freys it's only mentioned they surrendered and Edmure was reinstated as Lord Paramount. Vale of Arryn barely gets noted as well.

    And this bit?

    What the fuck does that mean? Ancient Valyrian way? Enslaving others? Blood/fire magic?

    Anyway, forgot to shit on the biggest failure of the premise: Jon somehow winds up serving the Lannisters, even when they have no further hold on him, with Sansa gone to Highgarden. What in the absolute fuck was that about?
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2020
  3. Hawkin

    Hawkin Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,437
    Location:
    QC, Canada
  4. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,798
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philippines
  5. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,401
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dancing in the Mindfield
    I missed Odran’s reviews. The smell of shredded story just really appeals.
     
  6. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    If we're self-plugging, here's mine: A Soldier Adrift. Basically, Captain America in Westeros, starting just before Bobby's Brawl. 50k words in.
     
  7. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,798
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philippines
    I'm waiting for the smut to drop
     
  8. nahbutualright

    nahbutualright Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2011
    Messages:
    170
    I'm waiting for the printing press to be invented.
     
  9. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    And you'll both keep on waiting. You degenerates. I don't know who I'm more disgusted by.
     
  10. Donimo

    Donimo High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2015
    Messages:
    569
    Is this hosted elsewhere?
     
  11. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    No, but I'm considering posting the story in WbA at some stage for feedback.
     
  12. KGB

    KGB Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,013
    I stopped paying attention to this fandom outside this thread ever since it descended into 24/7 targwank.

    Did anyone manage to ever write a decent HP/GoT cross?

    Besides Black Prince that is.
     
  13. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,798
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philippines
    Nope
     
  14. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,858
    Location:
    TN
    He deserves a heart react.

    This reminds me, rather pleasantly, of Dunk and Egg. I very much like.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2020
  15. Puzzled

    Puzzled High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2014
    Messages:
    588
  16. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
  17. Longsword

    Longsword Professor

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    472
  18. CrackedMind

    CrackedMind Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,112
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    @TheWiseTomato really enjoyed your quest, though it took me awhile to get used to the site’s formatting.

    I’m really interested to see who Kedry and Toby are. And when Steve finally realizes that Naerys is in love with him and everyone just assumes that she’s his paramour.
     
  19. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    Glad you liked it man. I'm honestly looking forward to the payoff of several things I've set up in the background so far, and the Kedry and Toby situation is one of them. There've been a few guesses so far, and while some are close, they're only getting the most superficial parts of it.
     
  20. Dn18

    Dn18 Third Year

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    @TheWiseTomato Great quest! Well-written and I am looking forward to when things boil over. Really good buildup too. I gave up on fiction.live after finding little of worth apart from that demon quest. Maybe I will check again if people with actual writing skills are posting there.
     
Loading...