Can't help but feel like the author should've rubbed one out before he started writing.

The entire story is Jon becoming a knight of renown, the sex scenes were just silly and distracted from that.

He defeated the rainbow knights, but that was just one feat. I wanted more of that - Jon becoming more and more popular from whispers of his deeds among the small folk to the nobles, growing bigger and bigger until everyone knows his name. All the while, the story is set from his perspective we realize what a shit time he's had and how he feels he isn't noble of his renown. After his fight with the knights, though, it's just like a flip is switched and that's all it took.

 

It's a shitty story. All tell, no fucking show. Unless you count the fucking. The author is invested into describing how Jon fucks Cersei, Arianne, one of Oberyn's daughters, how Sansa also tried to go the Lannister route with him - on and on and on it drones. No matter what happens - Robb gets killed by Boltons and Freys, his father's head is chopped off, this particular Jon Snow only mopes and fucks and angsts. What's that? Jon fights for Daenerys now? Well, you know what's coming next, that's right, Jon fucks Daenerys.

You know what I wanted to know about? House Frey's fate. Boltons were eradicated, but of Freys it's only mentioned they surrendered and Edmure was reinstated as Lord Paramount. Vale of Arryn barely gets noted as well.

And this bit?

What the fuck does that mean? Ancient Valyrian way? Enslaving others? Blood/fire magic?

Anyway, forgot to shit on the biggest failure of the premise: Jon somehow winds up serving the Lannisters, even when they have no further hold on him, with Sansa gone to Highgarden. What in the absolute fuck was that about?

 

Is self-plugging my Quest allowed? We just finished Chapter 1 and it's not a story per say, but so far we're following Edmure Tully right after Robert's Rebellion. https://forums.darklordpotter.net/threads/a-quest-of-ice-and-fire.39430/

 

I missed Odran’s reviews. The smell of shredded story just really appeals.

 

If we're self-plugging, here's mine: A Soldier Adrift. Basically, Captain America in Westeros, starting just before Bobby's Brawl. 50k words in.

 

I'm waiting for the printing press to be invented.

 

And you'll both keep on waiting. You degenerates. I don't know who I'm more disgusted by.

 

Is this hosted elsewhere?

 

No, but I'm considering posting the story in WbA at some stage for feedback.

 

I stopped paying attention to this fandom outside this thread ever since it descended into 24/7 targwank.

Did anyone manage to ever write a decent HP/GoT cross?

Besides Black Prince that is.

 

He deserves a heart react.

This reminds me, rather pleasantly, of Dunk and Egg. I very much like.

 

I’ve enjoyed this one: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/harry-potter-and-the-king-of-night-eternal-hp-asoiaf.805063/

 

So that is decently well written, but it also has stuff in it that will infuriate a fair number of people here. I'm a little triggered myself.

 

It has two chapters in total.

 

@TheWiseTomato really enjoyed your quest, though it took me awhile to get used to the site’s formatting.

Spoiler

I’m really interested to see who Kedry and Toby are. And when Steve finally realizes that Naerys is in love with him and everyone just assumes that she’s his paramour.

 

Glad you liked it man. I'm honestly looking forward to the payoff of several things I've set up in the background so far, and the Kedry and Toby situation is one of them. There've been a few guesses so far, and while some are close, they're only getting the most superficial parts of it.

 

@TheWiseTomato Great quest! Well-written and I am looking forward to when things boil over. Really good buildup too. I gave up on fiction.live after finding little of worth apart from that demon quest. Maybe I will check again if people with actual writing skills are posting there.