Title: A Very Alternate Yule Ball
Author: pstibbons
Genre: Drama/General
Pairing: None, Viktor/Cedric(NOT central to story!)
Status: Complete
Summary: Decades later, Viktor Krum recounts the events of the 1994 Yule Ball that got his old friend Hermione - a.k.a. the Dark Lady Jane - expelled from Hogwarts. No ships, though there is Viktor/Cedric slash. Ron bashing so bad, you'll feel sorry for him.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4896377/1/A_Very_Alternate_Yule_Ball

Triwizard Tournament one-shot.

I fucking hate slash, but it's not the focus of this fic, so I'll let it slide. It also has a very unique form of Ron-bashing that as a man I find painful, but as a reader is sweet.

This is a Viktor Krum POV one-shot that tells of the birth of the Dark Lady Jane.

I love her already.

Harry is kind of an asshole in this, but it has to happen sometimes.

Explores how Hermione would make a great Dark Lady and how had she would go to the mat for the oppressed, like the House Elves. She's like Che Guevara, but oh so sexier.

5/5 from me, even with the hated slash. It's that good.

 

bleh

pstibbons is the most rabid Hermione fangirl i know of, but frankly his/her characterization sucks. There is no buildup to the rapid change of character for Hermione, and frankly the entire fic is completly over the top and overdone.

3/5 for the entertaining Ron bashing, but that's it.

 

I didn't like it that much.
The characterization didn't do it for me.
Plotwise there wasn't that much.

2/5

 

Rapid fangirlism, slash, a lack of actual character development, mindless bashing that makes me think they don't know that HP isn't real...

What's not to love?


Oh yeah.....

2/5 As while the plot lacks redeeming qualities, it isn't a crime against the English language.



On the other hand, the authors profile was funny as hell.

 

Stupid story, Hermione = Mary-Sue, everyone else = ooc.

Also:

Spoiler

making Ron choke on his dick, and winning a scholarship for it

= gayfail.

1/5

 

LOL at the spoiler! ahahaha

No way I'm reading this though. Dare Lady Jane... Pure automatical fail.

 

At least the author said it was her last fic ever. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for the reduction of faggotry.

Somehow, Flitwick immediately giving her the award for making Ron blow himself was the cherry on top. Like it was such a brilliant innovation he just couldn't resist the temptation.

 

Although this story is throughly disgusting and has no literary value what-so-ever, I have read much much much worse.

And while the idea of Hermione Granger (not Herman Granger her ugly and disgusting male doppleganger) as a "Dark Lady" is intriguing...and would be interesting in a high class work of fiction, this one shot simply did not pull it off.

And the addition of slash to this work, did not improve it. And I'm probably one of the few here at DLP who doesn't absolutely hate slash. (If its written properly it can actually be quite entertaining--problem is most would-be authors can't write it properly.)

Over all, I give this a T- (Troll Minus) and a numerical score of 0/5. The only positive thing I can say about it is that it has fewer grammatical errors than most of the garbage that passes as fanfiction.

 

Quoted for absolute truth. Honestly, the entire story felt... mediocre. Like it was slapped together in twenty minutes with nary an intelligent thought in between start and finish. Over the top, entirely OOC, and completely ridiculous to boot.

Oddly enough, if the author made this fic a bit longer, it probably would have become slightly better - at least she would have had some time to do some adequate plotting and characterization, instead of this rushed mess.

1/5, and only because it's readable.

EDIT: did this person happen to be on DLP before? If so, are all of his fics in the 'Awesomely Bad' fanfic threads and his posts in the Hall of Shame? Must go check...

EDIT 2: most recent review is utterly hilarious. Kudos to 'Dark Lord Potter'.

 

This was... awesome. Like, "driving pushpins into my testicles"-awesome.

The writing is just first-rate. Now, I'm not normally a fan of slash, but I thought it was just really tastefully executed:

Now that just plain works.

And you can tell that the author really GETS Hermione, like, her secret pain and stuff. Read this:

I'm speechless. What an incredibly insightful and original take on a character that I believed had reached her potential already... This has the potential to revolutionize fanfiction, I'm just giddy thinking of the possibilities.

But she's not done, oh no. The author goes on to hint at the depth of her talent, defying convention and cliche and really just nailing the big climactic confrontation after "Moron" Weasley breaks her heart ("moRON". "Ron" = "MOron" Get it? I thought you would. It gets cleverer every single time the author uses it, which is a lot. You're really in for a treat).

Now, I'll stop there so I don't spoil it for the rest of you (spoiler tags? Geez, guys), but if you have to know just imagine every torture porn fetish that pops up in "what should happen to kiddy-diddlers" thread and compress it into a few paragraphs. It's really original, and a TOTALLY appropriate response to Ron... err, Moron, suggesting that Hermione was "consorting with the enemy."

I have no worries about the author's mental health, no-siree.

In conclusion this definitely deserves a spot in the library, Full Marks from me.

(Prolapsed Rectum/5)

Edit:

Just skimmed the author's profile, and I was just stunned to discover that he/she/it is a Harmony Troofer. I did NOT see that coming, not. at. all.

 

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd bet on the Furry!Betrayed!Hermione. Someone here has to have posted that in awesomely bad by now.

EDIT: ROTFL, so fucking bad, but so fucking funny.

 

Why is Harry such an idiot?

Hermione is bookish and occasionally irritable yes, but not to the point of torturing Ron. Even if he is an insensitive bastard.

I didn't really like the story. Hermione was too mary-sued, not to mention OOC and...has a new fetish for torture. Someone really needs to call human rights. 3/5.

 

And this, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Dark Lord Potter Forums, is why some people should not be allowed to write. Especially when they drink their own Kool-Aid. Authors like this should not be allowed even one word once in the history of ever. Not only was this a bad story based on a rather hilarious premise (Hermione = Krum's 'beard') that, if handled by a more competent author, could have gone somewhere -- but it was logically invalid.

If (and I think I am correct in assuming the Author's premises),

1. Harry is an idiot.

2. Hermione knows everything.

3. Harry is too dumb to know basic shit on his homework and needs Hermione around to do it for him.

Then,

How the fucking hell does he win "60%" of his duels with her that year.

QED.

EDIT: Lol at this person's review. It's basically a polite "fuck you".

 

It wasn't all "that" good, in my opinion. A 2 at the most, for what she did to Ron. Rest of it was kinda boring.

 

At first I was like:



But then I was like:

 

I think the author said it best when she wrote:

Only a lady this classy could write a piece like this.

Inspired. 6/5. I, for one, will recognize her awesomeness.

 

@Ryuugi:I LOL'd, but you should've used the Patrick Stewart facepalm for continuity.

 

I actually thought up until the duel this fic was okay as a weird AU. However, I think this author has deep-seated persecution issues with men. She somehow feels that she can identify with muggleborns, werewolves, house elves, and gays better than anyone else. Three out of the four are fictional, so it's kind of wacky.

I'd give it a 3/5 up until the duel. 2/5 for being gratuitous. 1/5 for pushing her problems at the reader.